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Getting Out : Inside Out

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from Mir
Wednesday, February 18, 2004 - 13:42

Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I think you should definitely go to your doctor and explain your background. If he/she doesn't empathise with you, you should go to another doctor until someone hears you and helps to point you in the right direction. Three of my siblings have suffered from terrible depression and have needed to get help from professionals. I too suffered from severe depression for a while, to the point of feeling suicidal, but thank God, that was just a short period of my life. I too tried "self medicating". I "talked" an read myself out of the cult mentality that was so deeply ingrained in me and I also took plenty of "recreational" drugs. All that helped me to manage my depression greatly (believe it or not), but I wouldn't recommend that you go out and get some "e's" off some drug peddler because it could be extremely dangerous for you. For one it's not a long term solution. It can help you over a bad patch but the come-down can be worse than the original problem! My sister started smoking a lot of weed and it made her even more paranoid than ever. I shudder to think what could've happened if she started taking e's and coke etc.

What really did it for me after being out for 6 years, is when I was finally, by the grace of God, able to make a distinction between God, The Ancient of Day's, and the god "jesus" of the family. I would advise you not to give up your belief that there is a God and that He is interested in you. What I would put to you, however, is that contrary to what you have been told all your life, you don't actually know Him. I would advise you to make it your mission to 1: Get yourself some help from a professional, for your sake and for your child's. 2: Unlearn everything that you have been taught. Question ALL of it, take it apart and 3: Once you have done all of that, address God directly and sincerely and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Let me just tell you that this won't happen over night. This journey could take years. God is not in a hurry and you shouldn't be either.

(reply to this comment)

from Alf
Friday, February 13, 2004 - 09:59

Hearing voices in your head is definately not normal. For the majority of people. But who are we to define normal? I mean to say, how 'normal' is this website?
(reply to this comment)
From Benz
Sunday, February 15, 2004, 23:56

I would think anyone who has joined "The Family" or stayed in with the full knowledge of its "in's & out's" would probably be suffering from some sort of severe "Mentally Transmitted Venereal Disease".

- Truly, known science, dealing with workings of the mind must still be catching up with the kind of people who: get off on masturbating while getting prophecies from dead people, who enforce(d) prostitution/ child abuse and legitimise adultery, and who fantasise about using their house/ car keys as some kind of supernatural swords among numerous other things which simply beg belief.

I think someone should be looking into this obvious rampant contagion of Mentally Transmitted Venereal illness. - This is a clear break out!!

– Thankfully some of us have been inoculated, by growing up around those infected, while sadly, some others (those who remain in) have succumbed…..I hope they eventually find a cure for these unfortunates.
(reply to this comment
from cassy
Friday, February 13, 2004 - 09:15

It is important to talk with some one about you're feelings and not pretend they aren't there. The Family's motto was that you should just move on, but you can't unless there is closure and a proper addressing of the issues that have affected you. I'm studying psychology and it's changed my life and view of everything. If you can go to counselling I would highly suggest it. What you're saying about that voice you can't get out of your head, I agree, and I at times also find that as well. I think that recognising it, though, is the most important step. We may never completely be rid of the mental grooves that were ingained in us for years, but if we can identify them, then it won't have a hold on us.
(reply to this comment)
From Joe H
Friday, February 13, 2004, 12:58

Yes, therapy could be a good idea. It's important to remember that a lot of people suffer from depression and other neuroses (not to be confused with psychoses, which are the really hard-core mental problems), and it doesn't make you a bad person. A lot of these problems can be traced to a simple chemical imbalance, like serotonin. The Family's attitude towards mental problems, explaining it away as demon possesion and "the Lord's" way of breaking you was very primitive to say the least. Almost medieval.

That being said, I prefer what I call "self-cognitive therapy," which basically means talking yourself out of your own problems. But I realize this may not work for everyone, and even I may have to break down and go to the shrink someday when the substance abuse finally pushes my delicate neuro-chemical balance over the edge ;r)(reply to this comment
From paxil
Saturday, February 14, 2004, 17:25

Joe, does that mean you may try self medicating?(reply to this comment
From Joe H
Monday, February 16, 2004, 15:01

I thought "self-medicating" was a euphemism for getting drunk and/or stoned. So yes, I do self medicate.(reply to this comment
From lochnymph
Friday, February 13, 2004, 13:32


I do give myself that self therapy that you were talking about. I work my self through a problem by basicaly arguing with myself. What worries me, is for the most part I find myself quoting things that have been taught to me my whole life, which may not be the right way.

I have basicly tried to clear my mind of everything that I was raised to believe, and try to work it out for myself. What if it's wrong for me to throw out everything though?

For example, I can no longer believe that God is a loving god. If he is this almighty being that has total power, why would he be personaly interested in every little human being? If he doesn't step in to help a 6 month old baby from being thrown down a stair case, and having cigarettes put out on it's little body, why should I think he gives a crap about the rest of us and our personal lives? But... I am now being told that one of the basics of christianity is our belief that God is infact, a loving God. So I may as well believe that there is no God.

I personaly am not prepared to go that far.(reply to this comment

From katrim4
Friday, February 13, 2004, 14:58


I hear you there Heidi. When I first left the fam. I told myself that it was because I didn't agee with their financial policies, or that I didn't beleive in this doctrine or that doctrine specifically, but that I was still a "christian" and wasn't "turning my back on God". It took a long time for me to reprogram myself to where I no longer prayed before a meal or every time my daughter scraped her knee. It was just a habit that had been ingrained in me from the time I could walk or talk. It took a couple of years and a lot of evaluating and reading and learning to get to the point where I could honestly say I did not beleive in god. But it was more than just being able to say it. It was being able to say it without that little thought, small as it may have been, that god was going to strike me dead for thinking this way.

I was having this conversation with my mother the other day and I told her that the way I saw it I was safe either way. (Ok, so I was trying to push her buttons just a little. :-) ). Acording to TF "once saved always saved" and "you and your house shall be saved" etc, etc. So if what TF beleives is really true and you can be saved when you are 2 years old and you can never lose your salvation, why worry about it?

I'm to the point now that I really just don't care. I don't beleive in anything, I don't want to beleive in anything and if someone else does that's absolutely fine with me so long as they don't try to shove it down my throat.

Oh, and BTW, I think your son is absolutely darling.(reply to this comment

From lochnymph
Saturday, February 14, 2004, 11:59

Thanks Kat!! You should e mail me a pic of yours! I haven't seen her sense she was like 6 months old.(reply to this comment

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