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Getting Out : Seeking Justice

A call to Arms

from Guccigirl - Tuesday, January 25, 2005
accessed 1894 times

I think I speak for many of us after we heard about Ricky (if not please excuse the assumption) The painful memories that we’ve worked so hard on forgetting came flooding back, memories that I had buried deep down inside of me. I started to question my entire childhood “Was I really that bad?” “Did I deserve the things that happened to me?” The answer is simple: NO! None of us deserved the things we had to endure.

As I write this, the words to that stupid song “I don’t have a sad God, I have a happy God” echo through my mind. I remember when I heard that song for the first time thinking, “Are you F-ing kidding me? I’m miserable.” While I was in TF I tried to kill myself twice first with rat poison then I slashed my wrists, my brother tried 3 times by ingesting toxic substances & my cousin also tried a couple of times. We were sent out to preach about a God of love and mercy, but behind closed doors TF failed to practice what they preached, they showed no love and certainly no mercy. I ask myself how many more of our siblings, friends and peers do we have to lose before we take a stand? Every time I hear that one of us has ended their life I consumed with grief.

After the initial shock wore off (Ref: to Ricky) which was promptly followed by grief. I realized that ultimately I wasn’t really that surprised. One of us was bound to snap it really was just a matter of time.

I do not agree with Ricky’s actions, but I don’t judge him either. I know pain, the sense of hopelessness & feelings of despair; I know how the burden can weigh on you so much that it becomes overwhelming. Ricky opened the door for us; he has given us a voice & a chance to be heard. In an ironic twisted sense Ricky did end up leading us “the second generation” (don’t think Mama quite had this in mind though) what are we going to do about it?

The media hype will soon fizzle out; I applaud all those who were willing & did go public. It’s time for us as a group to get proactive! Talking to the media isn’t enough we need to take action. We have the opportunity to take charge & make a difference, maybe even save a fellow peers’ life from death. We can’t sit on the sidelines anymore and let TF get away with it all over again. Crime is still Crime; abuse is still abuse regardless what religion one follows. We were robbed of our childhood & deprived of our basic human rights. Failure to report a crime is a crime! Look at Charles Manson- he didn’t actually kill anyone, but he orchestrated the murders & he is in jail where he belongs. The same applies to TF ultimately they are responsible and it’s about God damn time they are held accountable.

TF can’t push us under the carpet anyone more, their excuses are wearing thin and their lies are increasingly transparent. I ask that we come together once and for all and bring an end to the injustices we were subjected to. When hundreds/thousands of us have the same/similar complaints it stops being “certain disgruntle individuals and becomes a serious issue that needs to be addressed. In the Words of Martin L. King jr. “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter”.
Don’t let Ricky’s death be in vain!

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from Tomron
Wednesday, July 06, 2005 - 16:00


Hi Guccigirl,

I just read your article and the way you feel about Ricky's death is also similar to what I am feeling.. For me, it seems that if their one and only son goes and kills himself on behalf of all the pain and hurt, and agony he went through his whole life, what better proof could there possibly be that TFI is so completely messed up, way beyond repair! What's bothering me is that there are still thousands of babies and small kids still growing up in TFI, and just to imagine that they most probably will turn out like us, as uneducated, brainwashed and bitter. There has to be something, some solution to stop the cult from their very existance. I left 4 yrs ago, and am now 23, also most of the time I wasn't in Fam homes, so you could say I was lucky, as my parents were losers in TFI, so I didn't go through half of the stories I've heard about. I wrote an article called, "How to take legal action", and I think that that says a lot about what I think...

Thing is on my own, and with 2 or 3 of us, there's not much we can do, but if somehow we could regroup our efforts, it just might be worth the try. In any case, it's worth the try, definately!
(reply to this comment)

From true
Wednesday, July 06, 2005, 22:20


i feel the same way so much of the past that i have tryed to hide and lie about to others has now come into the present and the my feeling about "the family" have changed forever.... i do wish there was some way to stop them it to late to fix our past and the fucked up things we had to go though. but what about every one still in "the family" there only hope still is to wake up and leave now...... other than that there is no way us exmebers will ever get "the family" to say that they are wrong. and the leaders contol everything so there is little hope for the poor sheep.....

true(reply to this comment

from Kitty4z9
Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 19:55


It was nice to read your posting because I've had a lot of the same thoughts and feeling as you after hearing about Ricky. There's the shock then the grief. I thought I was as moved on as I could get then when I heard about Ricky it was like a relapse. I've had to go back and sort through a lot of feelings and emotions. I found this website and it kind of helped but after a few days I became discouraged because there didn't seem a way to really connect with anyone. Everyone seems to be into their own thing. So it's nice to read that someone is feeling the same way I have been for the last week. I realize now that I have moved on. However, I agree it's time to do something once in for all. Even if it's subtle, even it takes a long time. It would be nice to work out some steps or strategy of our own to help people affected by this group whether they are in or out of TF. I don't want Ricky's death to be in vain. This is a wake up call. Lets not let it happen again. Contact me if you still feel like working towards a positive outcome to all of this. Lets make a difference.

(reply to this comment)

From LTN
Thursday, January 27, 2005, 00:43

You CAN do something. Contact user name cult surfer. He along with Daniel and Sara are spearheading the media blitz in So. Cal--L.A. area and San Diego.

(reply to this comment

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