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Getting Out : Generations

I am overwhelmed

from 1stgenxcog - Monday, March 14, 2005
accessed 1847 times

I shut out that part of my life, thanking God I made it out of there. But I am devastated thinking I left all of you behind. I am so sorry. your pain is mine now as well. I can't not be involved now.

I joined the COG in 1973 at 26.

Your articles I've read.

I admit we were a lost generation looking for something we could hang on to.

I happened to love the Lord very much and loved the freedom the Family gave me. My husband and I loved litnessing and we brought in a lot of money because we believed in what we were doing. Little by little we saw through the (leaders) the brainwashing, they forced us to spank our 2 yr. old "hard" they said. Why did I listen to them? 'Till today I still don't know. I have clues from my past, but that is not my point now.

I had two children in the Family and one on the way when I left. I moved from Canada back to L.A. I know the devastation I hear in your writings.

What to do? Who will love me? How can I relate to this cruel world? Where is my god now?

My husband jumped back into the world. College, partying, made friends easily. I stayed home with the children trying to keep the family values.

It became too much. I tried to commit suicide. Took a bunch of pills. As I was falling into a sleep I heard a voice: "get up".

I started hitchhiking to a friends place in Oregon. As it was approaching dark I started getting scared. I prayed "Lord please give me a safe ride". A van stopped and the people in it were coming from church.

It is more than 30 yrs. later Life has been hard but now I know Jesus (He's real) and there are many good loving people in this world. I've always been leery of groups trying to reform me, but if you learn to listen to that true voice inside you He will guide you and protect you.

I would like to be involved I any way I can to help you with your transition. I want you to see that life is good and you don't have to eat shit. Rather bury it as the animals do.

If you want more details this is is only a small summary.

Reader's comments on this article

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from exister
Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 12:54

(Agree/Disagree?)
I am underwhelmed.
(reply to this comment)
from Baxter
Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 08:07

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Whoah...........

Okey: firstly, Xolox, someone talking about Jesus is only offensive if you want it to be. otherwise you're placing a little too much credit on your own opinion to assume that someone's wrong just cause they say something you don't agree with.

Secondly: The person with the acronymic name I can't remember (no disrespect intended)- You, my dear, are making enormous assumptions. The fact that you underwent a life-changing experience or have come out of bad times alright DOES NOTHING MORE than comfirm your own conclusions in your own mind. You used a very descriptive term talking to Xolox : 'my truth' -that's exactly what it is, innit? It's your truth. To you it means the world, but for us who have not experienced your truth, it is, like all 'truth' that does not originate from some form of personal experience, just babble. We have ALL had dramatic experiences, and we have all at some time or other thought we were touching the void, but ultimately no amount of trying will ever make anyone else truly empathise with us, and at most all we will do is generate a following based on a false experience. Your experience in the family should concur that.


(reply to this comment)

From xolox
Tuesday, May 03, 2005, 09:32

(Agree/Disagree?)

"Okey: firstly, Xolox, someone talking about Jesus is only offensive if you want it to be."-Woah yourself! You must have a "what is and what is not offensive (Applicable to the entire worlds population) and how to apply it to strangers" book, cracked open to chapter "XOlOX" as you surf this site. C'mon now... I think you place too much credit in your own opinion when you assume that your thought on the matter is somehow the norm for anyone else. I think I smell patent ridiculosity.

Baxter, this is what a flawed thinking process does to you: Here you are making a statement of absolutes in a world of relativities and comparisons. The concept of trying to instruct me in your own sence of what is or is not to be considered offensive is oxymoronic at best. You have your opinion, and I have mine. Put the instruction pamphlet back in your pocket.

Finally Baxter, I think if you put down "the Book" for a second and read instead jules statement as to the purpose of this site, you'll find that there is a very clear right and wrong way to tread here. (which was missed the point in the first place) Right way: You're an SGA and you say anything you damn well please. (Most offensive things wind up in the TP anyway). Wrong Way: Your're an FGA preaching.

Simple enough?(reply to this comment

from vacuous
Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 02:08

(Agree/Disagree?)
I am rather underwhelmed by your little testimony.
(reply to this comment)
from xolox
Friday, April 29, 2005 - 23:19

Average visitor agreement is 4.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 4.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 4.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 4.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 4.5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Try to keep the preaching out of this site.

Statements like "Jesus is real" are offensive and ignorant! You don't belong here, and neither does your Jesus.
(reply to this comment)

From 1stgenxcog
Saturday, April 30, 2005, 00:32

(Agree/Disagree?)
Why are you replying again . Want my attention. You got it .Sorry my truth offended you I did not realise at first how it would affect you. after reading on I see alot of justified bitterness. Iwas staying off your site I In no way want to worsen things for any of you. My heart broke and I thought I needed to respond. If you choose I'll take my messege off . Not playing any games. (reply to this comment
From xolox
Saturday, April 30, 2005, 10:11

(Agree/Disagree?)
It's not your posting that irritates. It's your nerve to come on here and talk about your beliefs and religion. Isn't there a site for all the "F I-was stupid-enough-to-get-lured-into-a-cult GA's"? Go use it, they will sympathize with you. You can put on a violin solo while you tug at each others heart strings, and reminice about your stupidity. (reply to this comment
From xolox
Saturday, April 30, 2005, 10:16

(Agree/Disagree?)
P.S. It's just like a FGA to label annoyed persons as bitter. Belittling our sentiments that way is doing us a favor, now we know how you really feel toward us. It's the typical FGA cop-out and you took it. You know the exit, use it.(reply to this comment
From another FG
Saturday, April 30, 2005, 12:01

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
I am genuinely embarrassed that this 1stgenexmember had the gall to preach to you & try to deliberately offend you. Statements like "I want you to see that life is good and you don't have to eat shit. Rather bury it as the animals do" make her post fit for the trashcan. If she posted this at the FG sites like NDN or exFamily she would be raked over the coals for such condescending statements. You're more charitable to her than I would be. Just to let you know that a lot of FGs do not share this poster's ignorant sentiments. (reply to this comment
From 1stgenxcog
Monday, May 02, 2005, 22:16

(Agree/Disagree?)

Here again I stuck my foot in my mouth. When I first read this site I read someones article and him being tired of eating shit, and spoke of suicide. So I shared my thoughts on that letter Duh Not realizing I was addressing the whole web site. It was not deliberate I choose not to offend any one .Seems I've choosen the wrong words to express my sentiments. Seems as any good I tryed to bring to this site has backfired. I wish you All the very best in life !(reply to this comment

From xolox
Tuesday, May 03, 2005, 09:38

(Agree/Disagree?)
When you post a general article, one can assume you speak to the whole of the site. Next time, if you attatch it to the specific thread, you will be percieved to speak or respond to that individual and one might be disinclined to missunderstand.(reply to this comment
from jilo
Friday, April 29, 2005 - 20:24

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)


You should be! We were never taught about jesus. Somepeople ffffed that up, somethings should be sacred. How dare you use the name of Christianity and religion to perform your satanic rituals on children.The war non terrorists has just begun, and I don't think President Bush plays when it comes to terrorist, especially the ones who prey on innoncence. The only god your cult worships, is someone they call "mama", or Karen Zerby the whore leader of the cult of Devil worshipers!!!HOW DARE YOU USE RELIGION TO CONDUCT YOUR TERRORIST ACTIVITY, WATCH YOUR WORDS, PRESIDENT BUSH DOESN'T PLAY GAMES WITH TERRORIST, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO USE DISTORED RELIGION



(reply to this comment)

From 1stgenxcog
Saturday, April 30, 2005, 00:25

(Agree/Disagree?)

Jilo

I am not in the family left when I saw it getting weird. Sorry You had to suffer. I would and will do any thing to prevent the continuence of this sickness. any where I see it. (reply to this comment

from Here's what I think...
Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 12:32

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I'd like to apologize for everyone's less than friendly reactions. Thank you for your sentiments. I believe you are sincere and I hear the kindness in your post. Unfortunately, 90% of us on here HATE religion--especially Jeezus. Comes with the territory. Please understand that if you leave that out of your posts, your contributions will be more warmly received. I think it's safe to say that most of us will be harder on a Christian than your most hardened Athiest or Jew. On top of that, we don't think much of people who were so naive that they joined a cult. It's cold, but what are ya gonna do. It's not intentional. Thanks for finally leaving and protecting your kids. Who told you to beat them? Are they still in the Cult? Or are you referring to "counsel" in the "letters"?

Glad you made it out and raised your kids out. Don't take us too personally.
(reply to this comment)

From xolox
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 13:59

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Except mine. If any apologies are to be made on my behalf they'll come from me. Thanks.(reply to this comment
from Shaka
Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 11:48

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Note to FGA's wishing to show solidarity or apologize: You will get a far better reaction if you stop filling your posts with religious dribble. Nobody on here wants to be witnessed to, we've heard it all before. Leave Jeezus out of it, Mkay? He's far too busy servicing the Zerb and trying to keep Queen Peter's STDs in check to be bothered.
(reply to this comment)
From
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 11:51

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
Poor Queen Peter, He was shocked and horrified to find out his penis was sick when all along he thought he had a vagina!(reply to this comment
from xolox
Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 11:40

(Agree/Disagree?)

No! No details. For the love of Satan no more!

I'm reminded of a saying, "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me". - How many times are you going to be fooled? I oughta roll up a newspaper and whack you on the nose! For shame.

I've noticed that lately there's been a flood of FGA's on this site, what's up with that? I don't really care if you want to cruise around in here, it sure beats the dry boring site you all have, but keep your thinly disguised attempts at proselytizm to yourself. Nobody here cares for it.
(reply to this comment)

from AnnaH
Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 10:03

(Agree/Disagree?)
Ummm...I don't know if you have any dogs, but shit is a delicacy to them. You need to work on your analogies.
(reply to this comment)
From ErikMagnusLehnsher
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 21:50

(Agree/Disagree?)

If you dogs are eating shit...it's probably time to take them to a vet. That's a pretty serious abnormality.(reply to this comment

From xolox
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 11:47

(Agree/Disagree?)

Actually, while thay may be curious about it my dogs never treat shit like a delicacy. In fact they snort and jump off as if in disgust. Maybe your dogs are smelling the shit of a bitch in heat, that might make them a little crazy.(reply to this comment

From Joe H
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 12:37

(Agree/Disagree?)
Mom has two dachshunds, so maybe it's a German thing.(reply to this comment
From Joe H
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 12:37

(Agree/Disagree?)
Mom has two dachshunds, so maybe it's a (reply to this comment
From Joe H
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 12:37

(Agree/Disagree?)
Mom has two dachshunds, so maybe (reply to this comment
From Joe H
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 12:37

(Agree/Disagree?)
Mom has two dachshunds, so m(reply to this comment
from Joe H
Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 09:55

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I told Jesus that if he wanted me to believe in him again, he'd have to strike me down on the road to Damascus and say "Joe, Joe, why persecutest thou me?". I used to drive through Damascus, Oregon, every couple of weeks while on my way to my parents' house to persecute my mormon sister, and he never did it, despite the fact that my Geo Storm probably would have been pretty easy to knock off the road, even for a lazy, ineffectual deity like him. So either there's no Jesus or he just doesn't give a shit.

Kindly save your testimonies for the church picnic -- they're not welcome here.


(reply to this comment)

From Gothsmack
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 16:31

(Agree/Disagree?)

GBY Joe for your testimony. I would also like to give my testimony to everyone. Ironically its similar to my parents testimonies as it involves God (allegedly) and drugs. A few months after leaving the cult I drove home at 3:00 in the morning from a party after 4 hits of acid and several lines of ketamine. I felt like i was flying, not driving. At 85 mph, (or so I remember) I told God that if he existed, he should cause me to have a violent collision totalling my car along with its Satanic bumper stickers. Furthermore I told him I would rejoin the Family if I even so much as got pulled over by a cop. I sped recklessly home in my red mazda mx-3 the rest of the 40 miles home frequently uttering blasphemous statements and arrived at my apartment without incident. Now, surely if I had prayed for protection you would say that God had answered my prayer, correct?(reply to this comment

From drugs
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 22:34

(
Agree/Disagree?)

If any of you are looking to have a sucessful life, you should stay clear away from any type of drugs. Just do google search on the side effects of drugs. Long term effects are real!! Why do you think there were so many nutty Family adults?-- Cuz they'd be trippin' way too long. To me it seems like it's too late for some of you. Irriversable brain damage is nasty stuff!! (reply to this comment

From The Verve
Wednesday, March 16, 2005, 05:07

(
Agree/Disagree?)

Hey, 'drugs', if you eliminate drugs from history, ya know what ya get? You get a boring uncreative world where the neo-conservative, nuclear-family ideal is glorified and extolled. Do you wanna live in a world like that? if you do then go right ahead!

I know that I have fucked up my digestive tract from drug-marathons - double-dropping 13 Es, and mixing alcohol, speed and K over a 24 hour period will do that. I have lasting problems- do I regret it? NO! Because the (reply to this comment

From The Verve (cont.)
Wednesday, March 16, 2005, 05:09

(
Agree/Disagree?)

alternative would probably have been suicide! In light of that, feeling a little less strong of stomach is a small price to pay!

Cheers, Dude!(reply to this comment

From The Verve
Wednesday, March 16, 2005, 05:07

(
Agree/Disagree?)

Hey, 'drugs', if you eliminate drugs from history, ya know what ya get? You get a boring uncreative world where the neo-conservative, nuclear-family ideal is glorified and extolled. Do you wanna live in a world like that? if you do then go right ahead!

I know that I have fucked up my digestive tract from drug-marathons - double-dropping 13 Es, and mixing alcohol, speed and K over a 24 hour period will do that. I have lasting problems- do I regret it? NO! Because the (reply to this comment

From The Verve
Wednesday, March 16, 2005, 05:07

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)

Hey, 'drugs', if you eliminate drugs from history, ya know what ya get? You get a boring uncreative world where the neo-conservative, nuclear-family ideal is glorified and extolled. Do you wanna live in a world like that? if you do then go right ahead!

I know that I have fucked up my digestive tract from drug-marathons - double-dropping 13 Es, and mixing alcohol, speed and K over a 24 hour period will do that. I have lasting problems- do I regret it? NO! Because (reply to this comment

From xolox
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 17:29

(Agree/Disagree?)

I was stopped By a motorcycle cop while driving on 6 hits of acid (I think it was six, it was liquid, hard to tell), and an unknown quantity of yak in an illegal car from which a friend had been arrested the night before during the party. The cop just let me go, no ticket, nothing. I still can't figure it out. I also had about a half ounce of weed on the passenger seat in plain view.

One of the biggest rushes of my life! This happened in Texas no less.(reply to this comment

From Sonderval
Wednesday, March 16, 2005, 00:41

(Agree/Disagree?)

One thing I discovered about acid is you become temporarily indestructible and immune to the consequences of your actions, you can also do things that normally you could never manage (just look around the house after an acid party, the proof is there). I once became so annoyed at this while tripping on a hillside at an outdoor cinema that I approached a couple of policemen and ranted at them about it for about 5 minutes then wandered away, I wasn't certain this had happened later when I came back down to earth but my friends assured me that it definitely had.

Oh yeah, and remember kids, winners don't take drugs :p

PS, I'm mostly reformed now, kinda have to be, got a son to think about(reply to this comment

From xolox
Wednesday, March 16, 2005, 08:36

(Agree/Disagree?)
Yeah same here, I have a daughter and she's done a lot to "clen me up". I've thought about weather everything went down the way I remembered. I had a friend in the car with me at the time, he was playing guitar in the back seat, and he corroborates my story. Did I mention he was also flying?(reply to this comment
From Wolf
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 12:48

(Agree/Disagree?)

Perhaps Jesus just ainít all that interested in you, Jow. Why should he be? He gets all the head he wants from a group full of women in the spirit.(reply to this comment

From Joe H
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 13:02

(Agree/Disagree?)
Oh well. On the bright side, I'm a dead duck, so the Devil treats me pretty nice. (reply to this comment
From AnnaH
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 09:59

(Agree/Disagree?)
Brilliant!! You rock the Gange, Joe!!(reply to this comment
From Joe H
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 10:12

(Agree/Disagree?)
What does a filthy river in India have to do with my story? Are you outsourcing your MovingOn posting to Calcutta or something?(reply to this comment
From AnnaH
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 13:42

(Agree/Disagree?)

Ha, also brilliant! No, it's a private joke between me and Erin, and I'm not sure if we're actually referring to the Ganges...anyway, just take it as a compliment. (reply to this comment

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