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Getting Out : Generations

A post from an FGA - with her permission.

from Bella - Friday, March 11, 2005
accessed 1446 times


Hello, my name in the group was Mercy. I joined The Children of God, A.K.A., The Family International in 1971 and quit tithing as a TRF supporter in 1991. I pioneered many countries in the Far East during the early days. It is recorded with pictures of me in the Childcare Handbook, the Book of Remembrance, Family Magazines, etc. I was young, enthusiastic and dedicated to following Jesus Christ.

About 5 years ago I decided that I would write the story of my time in TFI for the world to see and especially for my children so they would know the truth. I saw how TFI, through its leadership, was trying to change their history and whitewash the past. I saw that TFI was twisting the truth about their selves and trying to cover up the many abuses that occurred during their FFing, sexual revolution, teen training camps and victor revolution era. I decided that I had to do something so that the truth would be known and recorded in history. You can read my story on ExFamily.Org entitled Itís My Life, Mercyís story. I guess I followed your founderís admonition; ďIf the truth kills, let it kill.Ē

The sexual revolution that David Berg (Mo) advocated in his Law of Love doctrine and fiercely defended by yourselves is your legacy and one which you are responsible for. You cannot change your legacy, but you can admit to it and declare it as ungodly and inhumane and abusive particularly to the young children that were subject to the indiscretions of adult members. You should be remorseful and crying out to God for forgiveness.

Whenever I see any of these publications again, such as The Davidito Book, Flirty Little Fishy, Heavenís Girl and even the myriad of FFing and Law of Love publications by David Berg (Moses David), I become disgusted, sick to my stomach and ashamed that I ever partook in any of these edicts by Moses David Berg. I am disgusted with myself that I allowed my children to be a part of this grand experiment of yours and grow up in it. I have asked God for forgiveness and I have asked my children for forgiveness and I apologize to all the young people that were affected adversely by this upbringing.

I would think that you would do the same. And not only would you apologize and admit that these were ungodly and abusive doctrines, but that you would also hunt down any accused abusers and bring them to justice in some way. And if there are no laws in place to prosecute them, you can at least excommunicate them from ever returning to being around children again and instruct them to make a written apology for their offenses so as to have it on record, instead of putting them in leadership positions or around little children. This would be the due recompense these young people deserve and the justice they are so rightly looking to you, their parents, to procure for them. But instead you blame them and call them Vandari as a way out from facing up to your own sins that you have committed. How many of us parents when our children were acting up were sent to our rooms by you and your leadership to fast and pray for deliverance because we had not raised our children right. You should be doing the same.

When someone like Daniel Roselle comes to you and tells you he was abused, instead of brushing him aside like his parents have done to save face, you should be investigating and finding his abuser. If I were Danielís parents and had the power of leadership that Ado and Kana have, I would be looking for the abuser and apologizing to my son for allowing such things to happen to him, not calling him a liar. What makes them think he is a liar? Because they have manipulated his sister to say he is? How many of us knew what was going on in the homes when we put our children in other peopleís care? And just because these young people have only started talking now or years later means absolutely nothing. For one thing, they were told this was normal, they saw all the sisters going topless, they saw the dancing videos, and they read it in the Childcare books we fed them and which you have now destroyed due to its criminal contents. It wasnít until after they left your closed society that they were able to look back and rightly assess that what they were subject to as children was sexual abuse.

Also, if you care to talk to any experts in the field, it is very common for sexual abuse victims to not want to talk about what happened to them and to hide it. I know, because I did. As a budding teenager of about 13 years old, I was jumped by a group of boys playing football who sexually molested me. I never told my mom, ever. In fact, I never told anyone until I was in my 40s. For some reason, I thought it was my fault and I hid it within myself. This is very common and for you to use this as an excuse to not believe your own offspring shows your own ignorance and lack of understanding of the situation. Either that or you just want to flatly deny it so you do not have to face up to the consequences. The world you have created would crash and you would not know how to handle it. Believe me; I know what that feeling is like.

I am ashamed for you and I am ashamed for Ado and Kana. I stand behind Daniel as a bright young man who is telling the truth. I saw it when I saw him declare on television what happened to him. I saw his body tremble. It takes an awful lot of courage to risk reputation and an unfavorable notoriety to talk about such personal issues on national television. This is not a ďVandari, apostateĒ son, this is your offspring that was abused by the environment you raised him in and of which you refuse to acknowledge. You have created this world of hell and it will live on with you until one day you chose to make it right. Until then, you will have more Rickyís and more Danielís.

Maria and Peter, you claim that there are many quiet exmembers who do not become what you call apostates. The reason why they are quiet, you should know, is not because they are supportive of you, but just the opposite. They are embarrassed and they are ashamed and they remain quiet so as to protect their own children. They want to move on and not think about the years they wasted in a sex cult and the things they subjected their children to. They also cannot tell people in the real world what group they were a part of for so many years because of the stigma and because people would not understand. Donít you get tired of trying to hide who you are because of your own doctrines?

Many are dealing with issues that have surfaced since they moved out into a society that understands sexual abuse. They have found their own children were molested. Or else, they did not understand that having their young teenage children on a sharing schedule was abuse and are now dealing with the fall out. You cannot deny that this did not happen, itís all over the Family News Magazine Encyclopedia that I have. I read testimony after testimony encouraging the teenagers to join in on all the sexual fun. These young pre-teens and teens are now young adults who have come into their own and they want you to answer for these crimes.

Before God finds you wanting, you need to listen to them.

To all second generation exmembers; please accept my sincere apologies for all you have suffered and for my part in it. I try in my own small way to undo some of the damage, but I know itís not enough. I think of you all as one of my own. I taught so many of you in so many F. homes and I think of that as my best memories. Again, Iím just so sorry for how you have suffered and I validate that you have suffered. I stand behind you; you are not Vandari or bitter apostates. The more Peter and Maria promote this theory, the worse things will become. No, you are all very bright young adults who are angry at your parents for so many things. For allowing Aunty or Uncle to molest you, for not giving you a proper education, for not preparing you for a world outside of TF bubble, for leaving you with no family or outside contacts for support, for sending you to teen training camps when you should have been going on family outings or hanging out with friends, or studying about history. I understand. Yet, in spite of this and the insurmountable odds you have been up against, you have for the most part excelled and done well in your young lives. Kudos to you!

Rest in peace, Ricky

God help us all

Formerly Mercy

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from Joe H
Monday, March 14, 2005 - 11:16

Very well-written and sincere. Thanks.
(reply to this comment)

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