Getting Out : Generations
To The family Of Ricky Rodriguez
from jeremiah - Tuesday, February 01, 2005
accessed 1655 times
To the Family of Ricky Rodriguez
I would like to, if I could, give a voice to this tragedy and waste of life. Ricky obviously wanted to bring attention to something that troubled him deeply beyond expression. His final act was one of desperation in an attempt to get justice by murder, only to find that there was no satisfaction in it.
I too have a son that took his own life. I know also that the pains that these tragedies cause do not equal the pain that causes it. Closure does not come to those afflicted until understanding can lay it to rest.
There is not a lot that I can do to bring resolve to this, but maybe shed a little light to give some understanding. Ricky’s voice is not alone; in fact it is right now reverberating like an echo in a hollow place. The anger of those children who feel they have been betrayed by their own parents. Their voice, the frustrated desire for justice when nothing seems to answer their cry.
How do you get justice where the law is not applied? Justice requires a judgment but when judgment is not clear justice cannot be well served. For justice to be effective it needs to speak to the offence, but what can you do when you feel you have no voice? You feel there is no justice.The same applies the pain of many that have come out of the Family, a feeling of injustice. How can you then get resolve when it seems there is no judgment? When judgment never comes you begin to lose faith in the system, and if that system is your religion, then you will lose faith in that as well.
In order to right a wrong you need to be able to understand what went wrong. Getting angry and bitter doesn’t fix anything. However, when we can’t find a reason for the things that happen we find it very difficult to overcome our bitterness.
But how can you find a reason for the sexual abuse and exploitation of the children within the Family? The reason is found in the doctrine from which the Family built itself and established its’ policies. The children are not the only ones afflicted in this. The parents have aslso been infected with bad doctrine to where they cannot see clearly.
The ,“Law of Love”, gave the Family its’ foundation for practicing its’, “One Wife”, policies. The policy of “One Wife” dismantled and undermined the authority and role of the individual family units. The “Law of Love” opened the door to many sexual partners and completely confused the definition of any relationship. The result has left many broken homes, destroyed relationships, and orphaned children, all in the name of God.
The unit of father, mother, and siblings is a foundation of the structure of our lives. It is from that foundational structure that we extend all other relationships. When that structure gets damaged in some way by divorce, death, or separation, an affliction of pain is imposed upon those within the structure of that family. There is always a reason when these things happen, and from the reason you can find the blame, and from the blame you can decide how to deal with it.
Our lives are affected when things go wrong and if we don’t get a sense that there is some sort of justice, then the offence will develop into a form of bitterness. But if we make an attempt at understanding the position of the others involved, then there is at least hope that we can move on with our lives without retaining bitterness.
However, where does the blame fall in the Family for all these broken homes and destroyed lives? The blame points right back at the doctrine of “Law of Love” and “One wife”. These doctrines not only imposed sexual abuse on the many but also tore apart their homes and families. So whom do you blame for this but the leaders? The problem is that the leaders have taken all the necessary precautions to protect themselves from any reprisals, therefore, there is this sense that they are getting away with it and that there is no justice.
When the kids from the Family see that there is no judgment being executed they become angry with God for allowing these things to happen, or just lose all faith in God.
There is one thing that God preserves, even above your salvation, and that is your power to choose. God will not prevent you from making the wrong choice, but he lets the consequence of your choices follow. The consequence of the Family doctrine is the fruit that is manifest of broken homes and ruined lives, and I might add, children that hate their parents and the Family. But why does God allow it?
The fruit that comes forth testifies in what it produces, but also provides the opportunity to repent, or correct those things that are wrong. When our children have to suffer as a result of our decisions it becomes a force compelling us to change. The problem in the Family is that they believe this doctrine that they have embraced is something from God, and in their faith they cling to it and become blind to reason. When the bad fruit of their doctrines comes forth they deny that they had anything to do with it because they believe they are," hearing", from God, and thier ,"connection", with God shows them no fault. So why doesn’t God show them? He does, in the fruit.
When the children have felt the pain from what their parents had embraced, it’s not difficult to convince the children that what the parents had done was wrong. The children know the doctrine is wrong, and if the children can get free from thier bitterness, in time, they will be their parents best hope of ever coming out of those delusions.
To get free from the grips of bitterness it takes faith. Faith that Judgment will come, and justice will prevail. When you don’t have any faith that things will be made right that you are left with the feeling of hopelessness and despair. But how can you have faith in judgment when you can’t see judgment?
This is where Ricky got stuck, and I’m not going to judge him in this, because I don’t know all that he had been through, but he felt that there was no hope, and he was consumed in his hatred and bitterness. Though his hatred was not doing him any good, it still needed some expression, but vengeance is the Lords.
Well judgment has already been issued in this case, and it’s just a matter of time. The Law of Love and One Wife doctrines are not unique to the Family; In fact the first reference goes back to the early church in Jerusalem. There was a deacon in the church at Jerusalem who’s name was Nicolas. Nicolas embraced the teachings of Paul where Paul taught that the Law was past, and so he developed a doctrine where they were uninhibited by the Law but exercised their liberty in pursuing their passions, the “Law of Love”. They soon began to have some problems though when people began to have trouble with jealously. They established that it was a hindrance for every man to have his own wife, and so they would practice a community of wives, One Wife. This is referred to as the doctrine of the Nicolaitanes.
Here is some comfort for Ricky in his bitterness; Jesus speaking; Rev. 2:6: “ButThis thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitanes, which I also hate.” It’s not hard now to see why Jesus hates this doctrine that has destroyed so much, it is important to understand though that the people that practice it in the end do not get away with it, but judgment will come. Rev. 2;15&16: So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine of the Nicolaitanes which thing I hate. Repent, or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.
There is a judgment against these things, but it’s not coming from you or me, but it comes from Jesus Christ. Right now the Family is pretty pathetic because they imagine themselves to be great ones in the Kingdom of God, but in reality they are poor and naked glorying in their shame, of which, if they don’t repent, will be resurrected in everlasting shame and contempt. Ps. 81:12 says: So I gave them up unto their own hearts’ lust: and they walked in their own counsels.
The people in the Family believe they are on a path of Gods will, and their children being afflicted and troubled are their best hope for them to see the error in their ways. The children, on the other hand, can receive healing and freedom from the bitterness if they can understand the reasons behind all these things that have happened. In both cases it comes down to finding God. It’s not that God is not there for them, because He doesn’t put a stop to it, instead He makes us responsible for those things that we choose. Yet if you seek Him, He will be found. It’s your choice in what you believe.
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Tuesday, February 08, 2005 - 09:43
Revelations was written by John long after Jesus was dead. Jesus was not considered a spiritual deity till centuries after his death.
This is a major problem, one that leads to the very issues we have before us now. People make claims that "Jesus said this or that" all of it so open to interpretation that heinous acts occur.
The Family does this all the time, they attribute words to Christ, beyond what he spoke when alive.
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Tuesday, February 08, 2005 - 03:36
Great article. I have often felt the same way. I know in my heart one day God will judge each and everyone, including me. This not only keeps me on my toes but also helps me deal with my bitterness and inablity to "do something" about these things that have hurt me so deeply. I truly believe one day soon The Family leaders will wake up and recant!! What's that verse about the judgements of the Lord being slow but sure or fine or something like that. They will come in due time.
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Monday, February 07, 2005 - 23:28
Wow. God, huh? Are you sure that's the answer, because it sure didn't work very well for us the first time around. I can't speak for Ricky but I've had enough God to last me a few lifetimes. I started out rebellious and angry and that led me to actually doing some comparative research on world religions and finding out about the origins of Christianity and Judaism. Let's get one thing straight: The Judaic god is no better than anyone else's. I agree with some of what you said about the path to healing; however, if you're not second generation, you have no idea what it feels like to live with all of this poison. Every time we feel like we're getting close to letting go and moving on, the baggage finds new ways to manifest. Stubbornness is the one thing that has kept me alive this whole time. My quality of life is questionable; I constantly battle anxiety, paranoia, and depression - I've engaged in countless self destructive acts and it's nothing short of amazing that I didn't die as a teenager. The one thing that keeps me alive is knowing that, were I to finish the job, that would mean you won. It would mean that you, my parents, and the rest of the first generation successfully pumped me so full of your emotional venom that I broke as a result. I refuse to be yet another casualty of your ignorance, abuse and self serving indulgence. Have a good day.
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| From Greensack|
Tuesday, February 08, 2005, 08:51
The Judaic god Yaweh was one of five thousand represented on the blue tiled gates of Ishtar (Babylon), before the exodus of the jews led by Abram. He was a minor god of war, but fierce one. (and a jelous one).
It was common for people to choose a personal god above all others, especially a minor one. A sort of personal helper if you will.(reply to this comment)
| From whiskers|
Tuesday, February 08, 2005, 01:01
(A few words of comment from an FG. I really like what you say.)
My kids are a lot like you, one is an aspiring musician, and he’s amazed too that he’s still alive after some of the stuff he’s done. And me, I’m guilty as charged, guilty of “ignorance, abuse and self serving indulgence”. But that’s not why I’m commenting because I wrote about that already in my article posted here Jan. 29th.
I want to add to what you said about religion. I have a similar reaction, “Wow. God, huh?” and it didn't work for me either. But I do read a lot of different takes on spirituality, and I've found out that there’s a whole lot of really good subject matter which I find digestible because it’s the kind of stuff that doesn’t make the claim that it’s “The way, the truth and the life.” What I like the most are books that are meditative personal development tools. (For example: John O’Donohue books “Anam Cara – Spiritual Wisdom from the Celtic World” and “Eternal Echoes – Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong”.) It's me improving me as a person, it helps me to have self esteem and measure of peace and contentment.
What you said about living with the poison is true for me too. But the difference is that we FGs had a choice and drank it willingly, and we then forced it on you our children who had no choice. Because of that fact it’s true that we can’t fully understand all that SGs go through.
“The baggage finds new ways to manifest”, I like the way you put it. That happens to me too, but that’s where the personal development philosophies help me the most, because then I exuberantly and defiantly shout out “I’m doing it my way!” in the face of the venomous Bergism that comes back trying to plague me.(reply to this comment)
Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 07:22
I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to write this. Perhaps your experience will help other parents begin to listen to their children, before we lose anymore to suicide.
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Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 03:45
Ecxellent - and true - and a comfort - let the Word speak for itself, God bless you....
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