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Getting Out : Generations


from Sad - Thursday, November 04, 2004
accessed 1933 times

I have been in court this week and I am confused and hurt.

I initiated an access case, to be able to see my precious children, against my partner (an FM member) whom I love very much but in a nutshell, decided because I am critical of the Family and don't believe Maria and Peter are entitled to quote God, that I am a baddy. She, along with my eldest daughter, a full time member, alluded to my previous use of Cannabis and a time of depression and nervous fatigue (just before leaving Thailand) to basically assassinate my character. I don't 'puff the magic dragon' anymore and my mental state is fine except for that frustrating feeling of being unfairly attacked and badmouthed... by my wife and the Family.

Even so, I went ahead with the case (it is still going) expecting that my partner would bring herself undone by speaking the truth. She fellowships and partly lives with 3 other FM families and hosts the NAS when he comes.

She denied the whole thing basically and all of these tithing FM members, who teach Family doctrine to my small children, suddenly became '7th day Adventists' and 'liberal religious thinkers' who 'embrace many beliefs' (the false story told).

I was really hoping my partner would speak the truth and state her belief, as she is very loyal to Maria and Peter (tells me not to even try to put myself in the same esteemed category as them) and believes everything they say 100%...the whole story... and of course fears going against God etc. She drums the kids with family lit and music.

I gained access to the children and I was able to get a child solicitor appointed. By the time that representative comes on board, I fear the kids will be 'well rehearsed' in supporting the 'denial of faith for legal purposes'. Then again the years my wife has been relentlessly pumping them family doctrine may turn around to bite her in the bum. I was successfulin getting a consent order that CM and FM members cannot stay at the children’s house. It created some attention becausemy wifes resistence to that proposal, plus the fact that she relies on one member enormously, stumbled her into accepting the clause but adding that this member be an exception.... which of course exposed that the member was in fact a member (if you can follow that).

She also was able to wangle a clause saying I could not question her faith or talk to the children about her faith. Whe was emphasizing the '7th day Adventist' stuff and her 'Christian beliefs' to cover her true beliefs. She portrayed me as a persecutor of religion.

I am fighting alone whereas she has the Family supporting her.

The courts may 'crucify me' based on the character assassination although I have done reasonably well in counteracting it.

I can't fight against some of the lies however.
I wish the Family, along with my wife would be truthful then it could be a fair fight. I may 'stuffed' and I worry so much about the children. Their loyalty to me may well be shaken because of the fear tactics and emotional pressures the family relies on. Why my wife wants them to be loyal to strangers, rather than their father who loves them dearly, is a mystery to me. I had stopped reading mailings for about 5 years so hadn't realized that persecution by the Family was in full swing. Apparently 'the word' has centered a lot on evil spirits and blood eating demons, who I suppose my wife thinks are eating me up (it's cruel). I now understand why my wife was abusing me and calling me evil in front of our children and hiding the childrens' legal papers from me (in Thailand.) I tried to cope with it all through 'smoking' was a mistake.
I also thought, if I could keep my wife away from the mainstream Family (we lived up-country for 10 years, in time she would see for herself how the prophecies proved themselves false. Her memory is poor however and she has not learned to think for herself. She has the same black and white mentality as Maria (or Zerby as I found out from this site) I sent several letters to Maria and Peter over the last several years asking them to stop exalting themselves and quoting Jesus. It messes up peoples minds. I made some progress with Cephas (CRO) but it was short lived as he was called in for an emotional breaking and wrote some 'I was wrong' apology letters later I believe.
Anyway back to the court case, I thought the Family was supposed to stand up for their faith, not lie. I can't make them not lie, so looks like I may be in some very sad years ahead as I watch the Family and their doctrines take over my little kids.

Does anyone have some advice?. I just wanted a fair fight. The Family trained me well at being a 'do or die' fighter. I believe in love and truth, not this falseness that is deemed by the Family as being justifiable. Where's all that 'conviction'? Why can't the Family stand up for what they believe to be the truth and take their chances in a fair fight.

What a bunch of lying pussies. They really shouldn't be messing with my children. I have had enough of their 'emotional beatings' and Nazi like tactics.
If it is true, what I read here on this site, then Maria Zerby has no concience and that worries me.
The case is continuing. I hope to be able to use the law to prevent the Families controlling and deceptive ways. Pray for me. I really love Jesus. I have seen too many of my friends die (because of the Families irresposible ways) or commit suicide to believe the Family leaders love Jesus.
I will write my history with the Family at another time and it will 'rock your socks' and Family leaders monitoring this site should be worried. I am not going to crack.

Reader's comments on this article

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from rockyv
Monday, February 28, 2005 - 03:59

Mate what state are you in? if you are in nsw contact juju ,qld contact me,it is hard to explain to most but the australian courts just think you are a nutbag if you mention the family,i have a good friend that is going through a similar case in qld (gold coast)also another in far north qld.Contact me i may be able to help.
(reply to this comment)
from Baxter
Friday, November 12, 2004 - 02:25

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Oh man, when did weed become a bigger crime than depriving your children of an education and exploiting them as financial assets?

(reply to this comment)

from Cult Surfer
Tuesday, November 09, 2004 - 09:31

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I've been in your kids' shoes. My father took 4 siblings and myself to Asia when I was 8 years old away from my mother, private school and a system life to re-join the Family. It took 10 years before I ever saw my mother again! 10 years of being basically brainwashed by the Family that my mother was evil and a "bridge that needed to be burned" to my past. It's taken equally as long to re-build my relationship with her.

The good news, kids grow up and eventually think for themselves. The bad news, it takes awhile to grow up and the de-tox work is enormous. In your case, when your kids get older hopefully they'll be able to look back and see that you didn't abandon them, but that the Family kept them away from you. Fight as hard as you can to regain custody of them, and if that fails, fight as hard as you can to remain in contact with them until they're old enough to look back and see that you gave it your all.

It's important for you to show the court that your wife is still a member of the Family. You need to explain what an FM'er means. It's one thing to have contact with the Family, it's much worse being a member of a cult and an FM’er is a member of the Family’s concentric circles of membership. If you can make a connection between her and the Family, then pull out the Family's literature and nail 'm'. "God's whores" would be a good one, or "child brides", the "loving jesus" series. I would emphasize that regardless of what religion she believes in, no kid should have to read Loving Jesus mags or "evil demon" comics. Pull out the "deceivers yet true" kids mag and argue brainwashing and manipulation.

You have so much more amo than their "weed" bullet. Use it or you'll lose your kids. Try to see if anyone on this site can get you some old lit.

The good news is that after going thru the Family's Jett programs, attack teams and teen camps, I'm now re-united with my family and mother and am successful in business, and it only took 15 years.
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From Siolo
Tuesday, November 09, 2004, 22:28

I have a bunch of old MO Letter volumes and an FN Encyclopedia and other Misc. unpurged family stuff, I'd be happy to pass it along. The FN Encyclopedia is going to be mailed to the UK shortly for someone else to use but I'd be happy to copy it for you. Email me if you think it will help.(reply to this comment
From cassy
Wednesday, November 10, 2004, 06:10

Actually, Eva St John is in Australia and from what I've read on the site, she has a copy also of the FN Encyclopedia as well as a lit library (not recent though), but all the old juicy stuff.(reply to this comment
From Sad
Tuesday, November 09, 2004, 16:27

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Thanks for that. You are right no kid should have to read 'loving Jesus' mags or 'evil demon mags'. The psychological results further down the road could be very serious. It is the literature that is the most dangerous. TF have polished up their 'behaviour' but there has been no comprimise with the 'psychologically damaging lit' they call 'the word of god'.
By now I am sure she has prepared the house for possible inspections (and is rehearsing the kids) TF here, in Australia, are very experienced with court cases and probably by now 'masters at deception'. As I have stated, if there could be a FAIR FIGHT where the Family had the guts to back their doctrines, I would be happy. Playing dirty seems to be second nature to TF however.
My wife will have to 'deny her faith' again more explicitly in the next 'heavier court hearing'. I realize that Family leaders will read these articles and try to use them as a source to advising my wife of what to do. That's O.K. I am being transparent for a reason.
Perhaps TF are beyond being honest now since they have had to deceive themselves and each other for so long ..I don't know...I am testing them in some far they are proving to be a bunch of pussies. I'M SORRY FOR YOU GUYS WHO LEARNED what 'LOVE WAS NOT' by being in the Family. My kids KNOW I love them more than their mummy and the Family does (but my wife has been able to greatly limit their contact with me for quite awhile first contact for 4 weeks starts this week..previous to that she was always present during my contact ..monitoring personal time (worried I would speak against the great prophetess to the kids or whisk the kids off on a plane..I wish I could) TF were there at least half of the time also including the NAS on one occassion...for over six months this went on with me practically 'begging' my wife to 'wake up'.... which is why I had to start court hearings ..even tho she was blackmailing me that if I did, she would 'punish me', and further limit my time with the kids..which she has done...but now I am getting some justice. I am so excited that I will soon be able to have personal time again with the kids. They are so broken hearted over the whole thing and always tell me (on the quiet for fear of Mummy hearing) they want to be with me. One time she did overhear and punished my daughter later for 'murmuring'. It is a race of time for my wife to win their loyalty away from me...she has had a big headstart and already intensified her 'straightening out processes' (Victor program stuff) with my eldest and is now starting on the second eldest.
The law is very much on the side of women here in Australia also, which she has been able to dishonestly take advantage of...while leading me on that we may get back together and other Family type 'carrot on a string' stuff.
She knows the kids adore me but it is not enough for her ..she likes the "sweet family people the best" in her words.
Teaching kids what 'real love is' is the most important thing. Why my wife wants to teach them to love people who will eventually 'sell them out', at the drop of a hat, is amazing to me. I am still hoping she can change although that may be impossible by now. She can't seem to recognize what real love is and I have to concentrate on the kids now and not let my love for her alow her to manipulate me further. I still do love her but I guess she really is sold out to replacing a real father with 'phony self deceivers' and false prophets.
just to add I am not a 'pot head' and will test clear in anything they can dish up. What they have is heresay evidence and lies. What I have is real love for the children and anger for TFs' audacity, flagrant abuse of my rights and lying toungues. If my wife wants TF so much why can't she make the sacrifice and 'forsake all' and go work for Zerby by herself. Isn't that the standard that has been taught to her by TF..forsaking wives, husbands, KIDS, possessions,real love, and the truth so as to be a 'real desciple' for the emotionless Zerby and her relentless desire for worship and power.
(reply to this comment
From KJ
Wednesday, November 10, 2004, 06:36

Here is a link for a lawyer who knows a lot about Cults, she herself lost her Husband to one. Her no. is UK 02088457171 I'm sure she'd be more than happy to help.
Good luck. Do show your lawyer Justice Ward's findings and selection of Mo letters. Another thing, In '94 I applied to the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board (CICB)and was awarded a sum of money for the abuse I had suffered in TF for the three and a half years that I was in the UK. I will be writing an article about it when I get the chance. I believe it's still the only case of it's kind. Hopefully it will encourage more of the same. (reply to this comment
Wednesday, November 10, 2004, 07:59

Family Law
Often one marriage partner is in a cult or group and the other either refuses to join or decides to leave. The marriage then comes to an end, not because it has broken down but because the cult leader or guru so decides and the cult member is by then sufficiently conditioned to agree. The recalcitrant partner is then demonised and may be subjected to every kind of false accusation. The leader will be much involved in the dispute between the partners and will ensure powerful legal help for the insider. Kirby & Co. does its best to ensure equal help for the other partner.

When children are involved the need for this is particularly urgent, especially if they are to be protected from involvement with the group. Kirby & Co. has experience of acting in such cases.

Clare Kirby(reply to this comment
From Cult Surfer
Wednesday, November 10, 2004, 08:18

I agree.. this case is much larger than just you and your kiddos' , however unfortunate that may sound. The Family will stop at nothing to win this and if you go in unprepared you'll get the short end of the deal. I'm sure there's a lot of support for you in Aus. especially with the folks that lost the last case there back in the 90's. The difference between now and then is that there are many ex-sga's now that would testify on your behalf, as apposed to then. Even better now because many of the sga's involved in the case then who were just family kids are now grown ex-member's who would be very powerful in court. You need to get support asap, I think you'd be very surprised by the outpouring you'll get. I'd start by tracking down the members of the prosecution in the original case. Oh, find out who Kirby&co. is.(reply to this comment
From Snufkin
Wednesday, November 10, 2004, 09:38

I may be wrong here, but i seem to remember reading a recent GN stating that if a member is involved in a custody battle with his/her spouse, they will be required to leave the family for the duration of the court proceedings and can only rejoin once its all settled... i think they can still be FM though??(reply to this comment
From Cult Surfer
Wednesday, November 10, 2004, 09:56

That's perfect. Now you can prove that they are "temporarily" out of the Family and ready to rejoin as soon as the court proceedings are finished. A copy of that GN would put them in their place. (reply to this comment
From porceleindoll
Tuesday, November 09, 2004, 15:47


My uncle (who also happens to live in SD) was in the group decades ago. After he left, his mate (whom he divorced) remained in the cult, along with their 2 kids. About 20 years ago he took his ex-wife to court, and through proving that she was involved with the COG (at that time it was still the COG, and I believe she was a TSer or something like that), he gained custody of the 2 girls.

Unfortunately shortly thereafter, his exwife, with help, smuggled the kids out of the country into Mexico and disappeared into Asia, where her children were severely abused by her husband of the time. The oldest ones have since left the group and are making lives for themselves.(reply to this comment

from Siolo
Monday, November 08, 2004 - 23:32

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Keep fighting for your kids, even though fighting the family is going to be infuriating, esspecially as you still seem to have some faith in God and what not. Even if you can't win, letting your kids know that you are there and want to be part of thier lives, and that you love them, that's priceless. I am sure that every single one of us (ex family kids) would be better off just knowing that there was somone in the real world that cared about our well being. I think that more than the wierd doctarines and abuse and everything else, for many of us the most troubling thing about the family was that no one really loved us. Oh yes the Family 'loved everyone', but our own parents did not love us enough protect us and keep us safe. If your children know that you are not going to give up on them, they will eventually come to you. And hopefully you can get them in the near future. Rest assured that you are doing the right thing.
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from sassy
Monday, November 08, 2004 - 19:11

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
How about telling your lawyer about this site and let his see if he can use any of what we say against the family!

Maybe even the Judge should see, it is relevent after all, this is what happens TO the kids in TF and this is how your kids will turn out if you leave them to that cult, and its NOT getting better no matter what they say!!!
(reply to this comment)
From Sad
Monday, November 08, 2004, 22:17

Yes, that's a good idea and I have done that now. Thanks
I will print out some posts from this site also which I hope will help.
Your right about it not getting any better. My eldest son (8) who is the most sensitive, has become quite fearful as a result of the literature he is 'hammered' with. He is very scared of breaking rules and/or disobeying Mummy. He asked me if I was going to die because I drink coca cola.
The 'word' (expecially the evil spirit stuff) has made him confused and somewhat unstable. Even by telling little kids they are protected from evil spirits actually gets them thinking about where those evil spirits may be and can make them anxious. He is fearful of imaginary 'devils' and the dark.... the poor little guy. He loves daddys' music but of course he has been taught that only 'Family' music is 'clean' and 'pure'. These are just some of many issues, for my precious boy, as he reaches an age where he thinks and questions more. My next two children (6 and 5) are more rebellious to Mummy and loyal to daddy but it is just a matter of time (which is on my wife and the familys' side) before they will get the 'straightening out treatment'. It breaks my heart. (reply to this comment
from cassy
Monday, November 08, 2004 - 09:25

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I like the fact that you've asked for an order to bar any Family members from staying at her house. I feel really strongly about how the Family does it's best to break up families. As long as you get access to the kids (even if you don't get full custody) you have a fighting chance. Like with the BI court case, the Grandmother had rights to see her grandson every weekend and now that he's 12, he's ready to leave as soon as he's old enough. Is there anyway for them to search her house for Family publications that she may be reading them?

Please do write up your story. It's the truth that once it's out keeps them shaking in their boots.
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from Nick
Monday, November 08, 2004 - 08:37

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Man, just hearing your story makes me mad! How could she be so cold as to try and limit your God given right to be a father to your children!

If you are telling me that she is trying to ruin your reputation on the basis that you smoked a little pot years ago then I wouldn’t worry. You tell that judge that he can give whatever random drug tests he wants and prove that you are not a pot head.

You also need to get your lawyer to do a full discovery on her! Throw this intimidation back in her face and show her that if she wants to play dirty then your are ready to play dirty! You need to have them pull all her financial records, her living situation, her history in the cult. Everything. You also need to get copies of the Court ruling in the BI court case and impress upon your lawyer that this is the group that your kids are in. Have him In his own lawyer way impress that on the court appointed child solicitor. Make them realize that this is not just a fight between to estranged parents but that this goes much much deeper.

Also get support and help from your local fathers rights organizations. Fathers4Justice is in both the UK and the US and have some good resources and advice not to mention some great morel support from hundreds of other fathers that have been there themselves.
Good luck dude! I feel for you and know what a fight you are up against. Feel free to email me if you need anything.
(reply to this comment)
From Sad
Monday, November 08, 2004, 22:24

thanks..good advice.(reply to this comment
From Juju
Wednesday, November 10, 2004, 15:29


Hey there mate! I am Aussie too and also live in Oz. Where abouts are you?

I had to go through the courts too when my exhusband - who is still in TF kidnapped my baby with the help of the Keda & the other leaders at the time. It took me 4 months to get my son back but eventually I found him in Japan! My courtcase was a landmark case and I actually had the family law changed forever - which I believe has helped many others since then. I went through so much and still feel like it happened yesterday. I have many contacts & Im sure I could help you. Please feel free to email me on

Stay strong, stay positive & believe in yourself. Justice will be done in the end.(reply to this comment

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