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Getting Out : Leaving
Can someone help me out here? | from itsxena2u - Sunday, February 22, 2004
accessed 2407 times I was just checking out the recent poll sent in by Hanna Black on choosing between the evils. It was very interesting to see that even though we suffered a lot of abuse by members of TF, when given a choice of what kind of a life of suffering we would prefer, TF came in 1st place with a whopping 74% of the total votes! Now help me out here folks!
WHY is it that most of us choose TF over all the others?? Is it perhaps because even thought TF is considered to be "pure evil" as some have put it, there are a whole lot of worse conditions we could have lived in, or maybe some of us had parents that somewhat sheltered us from the abuse or maybe we were able to suck some good out of being able to live in several countries and speak different languages?
Or maybe its because the majority of TF members are either Americans or Europeans so therefore we still had a chance to have a good life after leaving instead of having to live the rest of our lives in a poverty stricken 3rd world country. |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from Shaka
Wednesday, February 25, 2004 - 11:37
(Agree/Disagree?)
I just noticed in the poll that 2 people voted for number 4. "TF has it's right and it's none of our business. In other words, we should just leave them alone." I was just curious, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU A MEMBER OF THIS SITE?! Are you Family? If you are, kiss my ass with your tongue out and go to Hell. If you're not, quit being such losers. TF gave up all rights when it crushed ours. And everything TF does is our business. Especially those of us that still have little brothers and sisters in that damn cult. I know we're supposed to respect everyone's opinions on this site. But it pisses me off when I see someone willing to just walk away and leave those bastards alone. And especially to say that they have rights. Child molesters have no rights!! Can I get an AMEN?!
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | from neez
Tuesday, February 24, 2004 - 09:24
(Agree/Disagree?)
........................................
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| from xhrisl
Tuesday, February 24, 2004 - 03:41
 (Agree/Disagree?)
I have a hypothesis; an evil that you know is always preferable to an evil you do not!
Hence, the reason why so many of us would rather have experienced what we are familiar with than an alternate reality.
(reply to this comment)
| from Shaka
Tuesday, February 24, 2004 - 01:08
(Agree/Disagree?)
To be honest, I chose the cult. Why? Because if I had grown up as any of the other ones I wouldn't have had the chance to be sitting on my ass chatting with you fine people. Or have had the chance to diss those dimwitted losers, Nick and Pelusa. (A heartfelt apology to any of you who might actually like them, but nonetheless, X@#* you both!) Hmmmmm........I have a feeling dear Jules is going to throw my ass in the Trailer Park. WE LOVE YOU JULES!!!! Good night everybody!
(reply to this comment)
| from Spat
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 22:30
 (Agree/Disagree?)
I choose the family because I'm happy with who a am now, and as painful as it might be to say this; I believe if I had not been born in the fam I would be a different person.
Yeah I did get beat up some, I had sexual abuse, I was indoctrinated and taught to believe a lie, yet my will to survive was stronger, I picked up skills along the way, I learned languages learned to survive and became a better person.
So all in all the family gave me pain but it made me who I am today so in a weird way I’m grateful, all I can say "is bring it on bad world, I've taken all you had to hit me with and I'm still standing"
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from frmrjoyish
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 21:39
(Agree/Disagree?)
I didn't vote in that poll cause I thought the choices left something to be desired! She should've had a few more options like:
"Been born the illegitimate child of a cult prostitute who got felt up by "uncles" on a regular basis"
"Spent most of your childhood panhandling on the streets of third-world countries in the extreme heat and cold instead of in school getting a usefull education"
"Were forced to have sex with old men, to "bridge the generation gap", without birth control, had a shitload of kids by the time you were 20, then was kicked out when you were no longer useful"
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | from Mydestinyismine
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 19:57
(Agree/Disagree?)
I picked: As a single child to a prostitue/crack whore in the ghetto.
In TF I they taught me nothing that I can use now. They took the basic studies and lifes pleasures and threw them out. How would that be better then the ghetto? At least in the ghetto I'd know why I'm an absolute idiot. Besides, some ghettos aren't that bad.
(reply to this comment)
| from Jerseygirl
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 16:45
(Agree/Disagree?)
??? Surely there are better things to talk/discuss/argue about than the silly/stupid/irrevelant polls. I'm happy that Hanna reminded me of what a blissful childhood I had compared to those poor kids in the slums/ghettos/lower income homes. Thanks for the memories Hanna!
(reply to this comment)
|  From Hanna_Black
Tuesday, February 24, 2004, 07:44
(Agree/Disagree?)
Whatever...! I agree with you that there are better things to discuss than my completely unrealistic poll, which, if I would have known that anyone took it so seriously, would never have posted it. It was NOT to "remind anyone of blissful childhoods" nor did it have a point to it! If anyone feels that they SHOULD be thankful, hey, thats ur viewpoint, not mine. I picked being a retarded kid (pretty much hits home). I am not and never will be thankful for the way I grew up, and dont think anyone else should be, nor was I trying to "make" anyone. When I was asked that question it didnt make me feel like I had to be thankful, nor did it make me feel like I had it better than others. I think everyone is trying to see a "deeper meaning" or a point in that poll, when all it is is a slightly morbid and highly unrealistic question. (reply to this comment) |
| | From Joe H
Tuesday, February 24, 2004, 13:13
(Agree/Disagree?)
It may not surprise you to find that, due to the tragic lack of education of the majority of this website's participants, many of them think that online polls are accurate and useful for gathering information. The reality is that polls are quite inaccurate, and online polls are even worse. This makes them completely useless for anything but entertainment, which is what your poll was. Kudos.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From Jules
Tuesday, February 24, 2004, 16:18
(Agree/Disagree?)
Do I really need to explain this? A poll here is not a statistical report, but is a quick snapshot of the opinions of the hundred or so people that respond, which is interesting to people who may normally find it difficult to locate such a large number of our demographic. You might be surprised at how many people read Moving On and in fact a research paper specifically on this web site is being presented in June at the next AFF conference, (Internet Dialogue Among the Adult Children of the Children of God — Leah Phillips , Department of Sociology, University of Alberta)
http://cultinfobooks.com/infoserv_events/2004/aff_conference_2004_06AB_events.htm
Online studies, although set up with much more control than a simple and public poll, are widely used by researchers now. I work in IT for one of the top paediatric medical research facilities in the world, and we conduct many of our clinical trials online. (reply to this comment) |
| | From Ne Oublie
Tuesday, February 24, 2004, 16:07
(Agree/Disagree?)
I worked for a while in the third-largest international research company, and I can confirm that they do use online polling in their research (think all those silly forms you fill out when signing up for free stuff online).
What IS missing, however, from the polls on this site is the profiling information which is necessary in order to ensure that the results accurately represent the section of society which the poll assessing.
In order for these polls to carry any sort of statistical weight there would need to be more data available regarding those polled. At present all these polls represent is the MovingOn members who've bothered to vote on a given question, and thus cannot be considered an accurate representation... essentially of any given group.(reply to this comment) |
| | From POLE
Friday, January 14, 2005, 08:37
(Agree/Disagree?)
An online poll can only represent a fraction of the portion of the population that goes online.
Not everybody goes online, and not eveyone who does participates in polls, much less hypothetical ones.
As entertainment vaule it's not good it's great! It's a good break from the flood of tears comming off my screen. sheesh!(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From Ne Oublie
Tuesday, February 24, 2004, 19:04
 (Agree/Disagree?)
The primary use of a poll is generally to evaluate the opinions of a larger group of people - leaving the results to 'only those who bother to vote', without sufficient profiling of those who participated, negates any such use. Thus, any academic who uses the polls on this site for anything other than trivial interest, or to note that X amount of random people have selected a certain choice, is doing so in an unprofessional manner.
For example, I would consider the following information to be relevant to the results of Hannah's poll: whether the individuals had ever been Familiy members, and whether they consider that they had personally been abused while in the Family.
This site also caters to a specific 'niche' of ex-members - primarily those who have negative opinions towards the Family. Thus, any results will be respectively biased.
As for being supercilious, I don't hold anyone in disdain any implication otherwise is unintentional.(reply to this comment) |
| | From Jerseygirl
Tuesday, February 24, 2004, 12:34
(Agree/Disagree?)
Uh yeah whatever. I was trying to defend you. I thought I told you already that I was starting to fall in love with you based on some of your recent comments, did I not? But I guess I need to be more clear. What I was trying to say in a round about way was: LEAVE HANNA AND HER POLL ALONE!WHO GIVES A F*** WHAT SHE WANTS TO POLL ABOUT? IT"S HER POLL AND SHE CAN WRITE WHAT SHE WANTS TO!
Anyways, love ya. :-)(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | from exister
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 12:22
(Agree/Disagree?)
It's because 74% of you are still Family Groupies.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | | | | from banal_commentator
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 12:09
(Agree/Disagree?)
This poll made me so thankful for my upbringing in the family. PTL TYJ Hallelujah. We were so much better off than the systemites. Hee hee hee.
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| from Nancy
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 10:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
Ug! Again, with this woman! I don't have time to respond to this ilk, but when I get back from court this evening, I will. I just had to make a comment before I left because this is too stupid to let it just go.
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| | | | From Nancy
Tuesday, February 24, 2004, 08:21
(Agree/Disagree?)
Nancy had a good time out with friends and drink last night and was in no shape to form a coherant thought. Some think this is a good state for me. Last night, I tended to agree. Well, today is another day. I was going to write a nice little commentary all Andy Rooney style, but some other smart cookies here beat me to it. Damn those quick wits! =)(reply to this comment) |
| | from cassy
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 10:23
(Agree/Disagree?)
I don't agree with this type of poll taking either. Since when does anyone choose when and where they are born? What ifs are completely a waste of time and irrelevant to reality. Is the point to make us thankful? I'm sorry, but this type of "positive" comparing is not always necessarily healthy. We take what we are given and deal with it, but it certainly shouldn't be used as an excuse to put up with it or turn a blind eye to it just because someone else had or has it worse.
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| from cassy
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 10:23
(Agree/Disagree?)
I don't agree with this type of poll taking either. Since when does anyone choose when and where they are born? What ifs are completely a waste of time and irrelevant to reality. Is the point to make us thankful? I'm sorry, but this type of "positive" comparing is not always necessarily healthy. We take what we are given and deal with it, but it certainly shouldn't be used as an excuse to put up with it or turn a blind eye to it just because someone else had or has it worse.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | from cassy
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 10:23
(Agree/Disagree?)
I don't agree with this type of poll taking either. Since when does anyone choose when and where they are born? What ifs are completely a waste of time and irrelevant to reality. Is the point to make us thankful? I'm sorry, but this type of "positive" comparing is not always necessarily healthy. We take what we are given and deal with it, but it certainly shouldn't be used as an excuse to put up with it or turn a blind eye to it just because someone else had or has it worse.
(reply to this comment)
| from Albatross
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 10:18
(Agree/Disagree?)
Ok, Try this for a poll:
Would you rather be
A. Run over by a 747 Jet full of football players
B. Run over by a Tractor trailer loaded with sheet metal
C.Run over by a school bus full of tight rope walkers
D. Run over by a Hummer with France's national gold reserve in the back seat.
E. Run over a Family Sedan with the Osbourns in it
F.Run over be a Mini Cooper on the streets of Los Angeles
To be quite honest, I'd rather not get run over at all, but if I had to choose.....I'd go for the mini
(reply to this comment)
| From two horns
Friday, January 14, 2005, 01:27
(Agree/Disagree?)
If the Mini is loaded with hot chicks, you don't die, the hot chicks take you to the hospital, and their dads have shitloads of money, I go for the Mini.
If the Mini is loaded with Kelly, Zerby, or any cultist for that matter, I go for being run over by a Tractor trailer pulling a 747 loaded with sheetmetal, the worlds gold reserve, and driven by the Osbournes!
And that's that. :)(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | from Jules
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 09:55
(Agree/Disagree?)
While most of us have actually met people who have lived through circumstances described in these other "options", I wonder how many of us have actually known them outside of the group and related to them as people, not as "less fortunate" that we were trying to "help"?
In the Family there was always us and then everyone else. The actual compassion and understanding shown to our peers was often nill, while the "care" for the rest of the poor lost world, was what our lives were supposed to be based on. Over and over again the Family's publications told us to just get over anything that had happened to us. That it wasn't that bad, that things could be so much worse.
When I had been out of the Family for two years, I had the opportunity to meet with a number of young people who had been sexually exploited as children. These included people from some very poor South American countries. I was invited to this conference mostly because of having grown up in the Family, but I felt quite out of place at first, and even a little ashamed to compare what I had been through with what they had. We had some sessions where we were able to talk about our lives and the things that had happened to us (through translators with the South American delegates). I had never talked much about what I had experienced before and considered it fairly normal for the Family, and certainly not "overly" abusive.
What was the most stunning to me was how much these other youth could relate to what I had experienced, and were both shocked and outraged by my story. Even though what we had experienced was not exactly the same, the understanding that they had, and our shared desire to both heal ourselves and to do something to make life safer for children now and in the future was deeply moving. These brave and compassionate young people have had a significant impact on my life. Their empathy and support for me was something I never expected at all and I will always be grateful for and cherish these memories.
Personally I find the notion of "choosing between the evils" rather repugnant. Many of us have been choosing between if not evil than very difficult choices most of our lives and I consider it completely unfair to ask anyone to do this. Pain and suffering can not be measured in this way and nor should it be. We don't tell our stories to try to outdo each other with "tales of woe", but to find some support and understanding from people who should (of all people) be able to offer it. Injustice is something that we can all do something about no matter what the source or whether we choose to take on a cause or simply to heal ourselves and support those in our lives.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from Wolf
Monday, February 23, 2004 - 04:22
(Agree/Disagree?)
Dear, did you actually read the other choices in Hanna’s poll? They all involve scenarios from which it’s virtually impossible to recover.
(reply to this comment)
| From jpmagero
Monday, February 23, 2004, 15:25
(Agree/Disagree?)
The other thing to notice is that with the exception of the crack whore in the ghetto, none of the "lifestyles" if you will, were choices by the parents. Nobody chooses these types of lifestyles like our parents chose the cult and and like you said, they cannot be recovered from. That's what made my choose the cult option.
And another thing to think about is just because someone else has it worse than I did, it doesn't mean that I don't deserve better. I am not bitter for my upbringing, but I try to make the best of it and put it work for me in a way. Some people say, quite accurately, that there are plenty of other people who had it worse than I did, but that shouldn't stop me from trying to improve me lifestyle and put my demons to rest. That's a major difference between some attitudes here I think.
Here in Australia the lifestyle is so much higher than in Brazil where I just arrived from last year and the things people complain and carry on about are so insignificant compared to issues faced by the public in Brazil. At the same time, I am glad I live in a country that has a high enough standard of life to bring these seemingly insignificant issues to light.
I think that no matter how good our lives get, we should always try to make them better and not just accept what we get and be "thankful" for whatever scrap of meat we get tossed our way.
Does that make sense?(reply to this comment) |
| | From plus
Monday, February 23, 2004, 17:16
(Agree/Disagree?)
I think to a large extent, the Family can be "recovered from." Maybe that is why it was a popular choice. We are proving every day that there is more, that there is life "after." But then, being the child of a crack-addicted mother, losing one's legs, indian slums, maybe even leukemia, could also be fought to recover from. We are not the only background that has produced odd-defying stories of survival and triumph.
I think maybe people in this poll chose the upbringing they actually had because any defense mechanisms we developed were intended to deal with that upbringing. If I were to face any of the other situations, all of my coping skills would need to be replaced.(reply to this comment) |
| | From Ne Oublie
Monday, February 23, 2004, 07:44
(Agree/Disagree?)
Reading what some people post on here one could easily conclude that our background is similarly 'virtually impossible to recover' from.
I'm the first to admit that the last option in the poll is by far the most appealing to me - however, perception various circumstances is a highly subjective matter. Thus finding appropriate 'alternatives' to offer in a poll such as this can't be an easy task.(reply to this comment) |
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