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Getting Out : Leaving


from Sharon - Friday, March 07, 2003
accessed 1466 times

I am working on a school project and I need some feedback from as many people as possible:

I am trying to get a general idea of what skills or services are commonly
lacking in young people when they leave TF. What do you wish you had known
(skills, or just plain insight) when you were leaving? What were your biggest
obstacles? Essentially, if someone offered help what would you have asked

Any feedback is greatly appreciated. If you are not comfortable
posting comments here, my e-mail is:"

Thank you in
advance for your help!!

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from PompousJohn
Tuesday, May 20, 2003 - 13:52


The hardest thing about life outside of The Family is getting started.

The first thing you need is a residence, a vehicle and a job. Typically to acquire any one of those three things requires the other two. I think the hardest thing about leaving the group is starting out with none of the above. You get into a vicious cycle without them and it's impossible to move forward.

I think if I were to do it again I would definitely make sure I had a vehicle of my own first, and not one that was going to break down after 2 weeks. Of course not everywhere is as dificult to live without a vehicle as Dallas, so I guess people with good public transportation in their areas have a head start.

I can't imagine what it must be like for single mothers, dear God what a mess. No wonder so many ex-family chicks become strippers and start shacking up with losers right away.

(reply to this comment)
from I think...
Tuesday, May 20, 2003 - 05:09

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

it could fit on one card...something to the effect of - life more closely resembles the movies in your instance, forget everything you have ever been told, do whatever you feel like and you may start to resemble a normal human being.

Oh and until you yourself a favour and just shut it.


(reply to this comment)
from k.
Wednesday, April 09, 2003 - 10:32

History a quick guide to the world. Politics who's who and what they stand for.Religion,there are alot of them and have plenty of uses. It's a very good idea.good luck!
(reply to this comment)
from blahblab
Wednesday, March 12, 2003 - 15:57

Asking snotty girls out, I was used to "nice shoes wanna fuck"?
(reply to this comment)
From crt
Monday, May 19, 2003, 20:37

I don't know where you are but I'm in the UK & here "nice shoes wanna fuck?" works just fine. (reply to this comment
from mex
Monday, March 10, 2003 - 19:54


Finding and dealing with your friendly neighborhood dealer, I remember the first time I bought herb I got totally ripped.

(reply to this comment)
From pharmaboy..
Wednesday, April 09, 2003, 10:53


True, getting contacts was very difficult for me too, someone should write up a FAQ for newbie ex-fams on how to easily score in your neighbourhood.

Maybe I should write it, I'm constantly woken up by friends calling at any time, saying, "hey dude, know where I can get some __?"

Jules, if i would write such a FAQ, would you put it in the "featured articles"?

(reply to this comment
from katrim4
Monday, March 10, 2003 - 17:37


I wish that I had known the process involved in things like going to the doctor, dentist, etc. I had been to the dentist several times as a child (always provisioned) but never to the doctor. Knowing how to fill out the many required forms for insurance, medical history, etc. would have been nice.

Having references to use for job and rental applications would have been up pretty high on a list of things I would have liked when leaving.

And last and maybe most importantly, having a drivers license. I think it was more common in TF for guys to get "training" in that department so that probably wouldn't apply to everyone. If I had had or known those three things it would have saved me a lot of headache.

(reply to this comment)
from Regi
Monday, March 10, 2003 - 15:31

When I left I had no idea about when and how to file taxes. It also took a lot of my own research to figure out what it took to apply to college, such as taking the SATs etc. I was also clueless about the need for a credit history, what it meant and how to get one. Luckily I already had a bank account, and figuring how to pay my bills was not too difficult.
(reply to this comment)
from Aita.
Monday, March 10, 2003 - 06:55

Things such as opening a bank account, balancing a check book, paying the bills. I just had no idea how to get these things done. I remember going through my first check book in record time as I didn't know how to write a check & I continually made mistakes.
(reply to this comment)
From no longer naïve
Monday, March 10, 2003, 09:13

I agree with Aita, I will add - amongst other things - insurances, working contracts, kids schooling system, these are some things i had a diffcult time with at first as no one had ever explained these various things. Looking back at my very first job I now realise that a lot of things that happened were not legal but at the time I had no idea of my rights. (reply to this comment
from Joe H
Saturday, March 08, 2003 - 19:15

social skills, I still have trouble relating to Americans. This could very well be my own fault though, I am studying computer science after all.
(reply to this comment)

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