Moving On - Children of the Children of God

I have been involved with a former member of the family for the last 7 years. Recently some rather alarming events have developed involving allegations of sexual abuse.

First, I did not realize that he had continued to support the group long after he left. He joined in 1972 and "left" in 1990. A month ago he began to talk about the terrible experiences he had in the group. I found a "report" he had filled out writing in the comments some very angry statements. A few days later he became agitated and depressed and then paranoid. I believe he is going through a "deprogramming process" if you can call it that.

He was hospitalized for several weeks and still is not well. Leaving the family has left him in a state of constant terror. My point.... he believes that his former wife and her daughter (whom he was told to marry while in the family) are involved in a conspiracy to accuse him of child molestation. She was a prostitute when he met her and very poor. She had an 8-year-old daughter who behaved in sexually inappropriate ways toward him. He told the mother, but nothing was done about it. Eventually the mother and the daughter began to target him along with the rest of the group. Her goal I believe was to get him to bring her to the US. (They were in Chile.)

He is from a wealthy family in the US and I do believe both she and the “Family” exploited him. They were separated within 2 years of coming to the US. She now lives in a nice house with a pool rent-free, and will not let him see his own children. She continued to ostracize him with threats that if he didn't do things her way she would bring charges against him. Despite this her daughter continued to talk to him, even asking that she be adopted under his family's name. I see no signs that this man could sexually abuse a child. However, he believes (in his delusional state) that a man named "Eric the Red" (Family member or ex-Family member), in Florida has created a group of former abused children and that they are after him.

He believes that there are many in the Family and out of the Family who hate him. Frankly, I think he was treated pretty badly, but I can't imagine any of this could be true. His name while he was in the family was Michael Firstlove. His ex-wife's name was Priscilla. I have no idea what her daughter's Family name was but she was quite popular.

If any of you know him or about him, or if anyone knows if this could have any truth to it please contact me. What's happening to him right now is absolutely tragic and any support I can give him would be appreciated. On the other hand...if the allegations are true...well, I would surely like to know that too! This is all very confusing especially after reading about what some of the members have had to endure.

Thanks for letting me post. You all have remarkable courage!

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from glp
Sunday, March 28, 2004 - 20:06
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Just to respond to those who commented: I am not involved with the family and knew nothing about the group until I met this man seven years ago. After we began dating he told me he was involved with a missionary group. Gradually I asked more questions and ended up learning about the group at the local library about a year after I met him. I was horrified at first by what I read. After confronting him, he told me he was no longer a member but wanted to continue supporting the people who were "reaching people for Christ". The years passed by and slowly I began to see a disturbing pattern that would peak around the 20th of each month. I began to research the impact religious groups can have on an individual. I then began to pressure him to stop his involvement. He would lie and say he was no longer tithing and then I would find the "untraceable" money orders. Needless to say, the whole ordeal completely undermined my trust in him and although I loved him, I felt I was better off distancing myself. I read the publications that came into the house as well and could not understand how this very intelligent man could associate himself with such obvious propaganda. Then, of course, I had to look at myself too! To say it more clearly it was a very tangled web! I moved out and decided to put the relationship on friendship status. Two years passed before finally he made this very dramatic break. His only contact was through those cheap publications and yet they still held so much power over him that he would go without food to keep them coming. He didn't even open them most of the time. It seems his identification with the group was too deeply imbedded to allow him to move on. Anyway, that's who I am. No one special. Just a person who feels very sorry for anyone who has been exploited.

My second response is to the person who does not believe it is possible for a child to behave inappropriately with an adult: Yes it is very common for a child who has been sexually abuse to believe she (or he) is doing something that is pleasing to the adult. This is a problem with children in foster care who have been abused as well as older children adopted from foreign countries. Obviously, it is not their fault!!! It requires therapy and understanding. The child I was referring to was raised by a prostitute until the age of eight when they joined the family. So please do not dismiss this as unfathomable.

BTW..he is doing much better as the weeks pass by. I learned that men in particular can become highly agitated when they are going into a clinical depression (unlike women who become listless). I also learned that depression can include delusional thinking and even psychosis. Thank you to all who responded to my post.
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from Anthony
Wednesday, March 03, 2004 - 13:21
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GLP, if you're really serious about getting help with this, it may be a good idea to identify yourself and your involment with the person in question.

In this case, and many others, credibility is not picayune!!!
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from nobody
Wednesday, March 03, 2004 - 10:28
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Please!!! A little kid acting sexually inappropriately to an adult? Maybe that’s another way of telling you he’s a paedophile.
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from Holon
Monday, March 01, 2004 - 10:18
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I have known "Eric the Red" sense I was a little girl. He is a really great guy,so it doesnt sound to, out there, that he is involved in helping children who have been abused.But I dont know who the man you are speaking about is.I also know that "Eric the Red" does live somewhere here in Florida most likely in Miami.
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