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Getting Out : Creeps

Very Lonely Girl of poems, updates and more memories

from verylonelygirl - Thursday, November 06, 2003
accessed 2982 times

After reading all those comments on Anthony’s poem, I think I will make my own comments.

Abuse is something you can be attached to and detached from at the same time. I was attached to it when I wrote that article. I recently became detached and confused after confronting my parents.

I meant to be writing about my father. I want the hate I have for him to come out. I want to stop projecting that onto the men in my life. I want to be able to let go. My father has managed to escape responsibility in my mind. How can I pin this tail where it goes?

Both of them deny any memory of the event. I gave up half way before telling my father off like I wanted to. I reminded my mom of details. I couldn’t with my dad.

What Anthony did for me by writing that poem was he gave me back my material in his own projection. After reading the poem I realized my anger is still dead center on my mother. Was she guiltier than my father?

I have yelled at her not him. I have written to her extensively not him. She is my focus. Anthony showed that to me. Although the subject matter was horrific it helped me digest my own experience in a way I hadn’t before he posted it.

I have had so many memories of the mundane in my childhood since confronting them. I have sensed my little girl inside. She is beginning to remind me of what I was like as a child beside all the shit. In conclusion, Anthony wrote that poem for me. I can appreciate it. I can use it. The memory is painful, sacred, agonizing, disgusting. It is also ancient rotten filth that is toxic and terminal. I hate to remember but it is the only way out of it…

Reader's comments on this article

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from Wolf
Tuesday, November 18, 2003 - 23:56

Your father was driven by physical perversion and your mother by mental perversion. I would have a hard time judging which is worse (though at least physical perversion has a cure -- castration!)
(reply to this comment)
From Anthony
Wednesday, November 19, 2003, 11:46

Could we try a lobotomy to cure the mental perversion?(reply to this comment
from Anthony
Monday, November 17, 2003 - 12:35


I'm glad that I was able to help in anyway and that I didi not add to your pain. Take care, and remember you're not alone!


(reply to this comment)

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