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Personal Accounts

The following are first hand personal accounts from survivors of abuse as children in The Family

192 accounts.
Page 12 of 20

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Original Location

abuser hater - Thursday, February 12, 2004

Abner of Flor, he's an argentinian who molested some of my friends in Argentina when we were kids.

Original Location

I know names! - Thursday, February 12, 2004

Back in Peru they made a prevented allegation to the goverment so we wouldn't get the police in our homes in the middle of the night but rather we asked them to come voluntarly, the funny thing is that none of the girls who were checked by the doctors showed any signals of abused but years after some of those girls told me how they had been abused for some of the same adults present in these investigation,I don't know how some of those creeps had the nerv to openly lie about things they did, or even sit with us for hours convensing us that abuse had never taken place in our home, big b-shit, I know some facts for who ever is interested, names and all, of things they did to some of my friends.

Original Location

tired of this - Monday, February 09, 2004

I don't normally post but here I must, how many times must we hear this defence of the family, here is what happened to me, decide for yourself who should face charges for this series of events.

My family was isolated from the rest of the group by my father choosing to start a home in an out of the way place, he did this because he needed more freedom to carry out his particular abuses, throughout my completely isolated childhood I suffered abuse both violent and sexual, at a certain age I found out it was happening to my younger sister as well, that finally gave me the courage to speak out about what was happening. Luckily for me my sister and one of my brothers backed up my story when questioned by my mother, at this point she could no longer deny reality and reported what was happening to the national leadership (been out a long time and I was young when this happened, can't remember the family term), it took them almost a year to come to a decision about what to do, during which time my father was still living with us as the abusive head of our completely isolated household, what was eventually done was he was excommunicated and we were all told that this was punishment enough, and my mother was demoted to DFO status and became a single parent mother of our huge family of broken children, it was a few years living isolated there before we were allowed to rejoin the family proper (possibly the only way that the regular family could ever be an improvement on anything). It's weird that my first real experiences of anything approaching normal human interaction was in a family home, just goes to show that everything is relative.

A few years later I left, when I was old enough, so did my sister and a few of the rest of my siblings as they reached the age that they could, it is now too late to pursue legal action against my father particularly as my siblings are no longer willing to stand up in court and say what was done to them, the past is the past and they want to live their lives as best they can, my mother is no longer in this country and she has 'forgiven' my father for the things he did to her children, very magnanimous of her I'm sure, no doubt the lord has revealed to her that my father has changed, funny how he never bothered telling her what he was doing to her kids at the time, but enough of that, god forbid I should be 'bitter', perhaps I'm in the wrong for not forgiving him and bringing my family around for him to babysit, ptl tyj.

All this would not have been the case if he was tried then when it was still fresh in everyone's memory what kind of monster he is, if my mother was not told that a court case would be damaging for the family and she should instead trust in the lord to make him see the light and she'd have to be excommunicated if she decided to do this, he could have been locked away and been given a criminal record that would make it far more difficult to hurt anyone else like he hurt us, perhaps he'd even have been beaten to death in prison by some civic minded armed robber. But it's too late now as it's not my decision alone to make, there are other real people with real lives which would be destroyed if I went after him and I can't get anyone else to testify so the case would probably fail anyway, someday I may solve the problem another way.

To me the criminals here are:-

First, my father, for obvious reasons.

Second, the leadership who were directly involved in this decision, perverting the course of justice and intimidating a witness.

Third, the policy makers who decided that reporting a paedophile to the authorities should be excommunicable, again, perverting the course of justice, intimidating a witness and of course conspiracy re the above.

I don't know the law, but I'm fairly sure that there's more than one criminal in my story and I'm sure I'm not the only person here who has experienced this. Even if there isn't a law that could be used against the people who created this environment and made these decisions there should be, as long as they are allowed to operate in this way putting the family's PR above the rights of their children and members there will always be more cases like mine.

I wish I never needed to see this 'Individuals' argument bandied about on this site again but I know I will do, and it will always make me feel physically sick to hear these pigs defended, they protected the abomination who destroyed the childhoods of me and my siblings, they have chosen which side they are on, they are on my list.

You'll have to excuse the absence of details and my anonimity, it's hard enough talking about this stuff without holding up a namecard while I do it, and besides, the story is not mine alone to tell.

People who haven't been abused should stfu and not try telling real victims who they should and shouldn't be angry at, go get your own problems instead of telling us how we should be getting over ours.

Original Location

Jules - Monday, February 02, 2004

Spring, although I definitely agree with Nancy on this, I have a number of friends who are parents who do spank their children. They know my views on the issue, but I am not about to tell anyone personally how to raise their own children. I understand that it can seem like it's easy for those of us without children to have grand ideas of how to raise children, but I do understand that parenting is sometimes just basic survival.

There is a great deal of bias in my own opinion because of my own experiences. I was one of those "hard nut" children and my parents were quite brutal with their corporal punishment for most of my childhood. It began with normal (for the Family) spankings when we were very young. The 1-2-3 spank, and "when you stop crying, I'll stop spanking" stuff. The brutality escalated exponentially with the number of children in our family, and probably with the level of frustration my mother and father felt trying to cope.

By the time I was eight, my father would frequently completely lose his temper with me and hold me up against a wall and hit me with his fist. All of us, including my sisters and brothers who were even younger, would be beaten with metal coat hangers bent out into a U, until there was blood. Belts were used buckle out, because the metal hurt more than the leather did. A "spanking" was at least 50 (and sometimes over 100) whacks with the instrument of choice. This was a daily occurrence with most of us. My mother was just as violent as my father, and sometimes more so. I saw her once throw her baby halfway across the room when the baby wouldn't stop crying. Our one reprieve was when my mother got a pair of foam flipflops. They made a huge sound, but we felt nothing. We gave Oscar winning performances of how much it hurt for about six weeks, when she finally clued in, we all were beaten just to make up for what we got away with. When we were big enough to run, we tried that and would be chased around the house by my mother and father, which would only make them more furious, which just made it worse for us when they finally dragged us off.

We were covered in bruises and cuts for most of the time as kids, and when I was ten my little brother (who was then four) went to the school nurse for the first time. She was horrified by the marks all over his little body and the school sent a social worker to investigate. We were all sat down by our parents and told that we had to say that he had fallen down the stairs. It was the only time anyone had ever checked into their behaviour and although we went along with what we had to say, I was so happy to see the fear in their eyes.

I was about six when I realised the hypocrisy of my parents behaviour, and that they were hitting me for hitting my sister. The only difference was that they were bigger. I hated my parents for the way they treated us and it only built the resentment towards them. While they always said that they didn't want to hit me, but it was the only way I would behave, all it really did was teach me to keep my mouth shut while my anger at what they were doing seethed. I got into fights in school on a regular basis and became more and more violent. When I was nine I wrote a poem at school about a dog that was abused by his owners as a pup and came back to rip them to pieces when he was grown (I think I had just read White Fang). I got an A+ for it and my teacher sent the poem home to my parents. They were not impressed and I had to do some very quick talking to explain that of course that was not what I actually thought.

My parent's brutal punishments pitted us against each other as siblings and completely destroyed any loyalty we had for each other. As the eldest most things were my fault according to my parents. However, the only way to get out of being beaten was to put the blame on someone else. The choice for all of us was to be beaten until you broke and begged on your knees for it to stop, or we let someone else take the fall. I hated my parents for this most of all. While usually it was my fault, if it wasn't, I was torn between the pain and shame of being stripped and beaten and ratting on someone I loved and should have protected. I had outside friends and knew that not every child lived like this. I used to dream that someone would do something and take us away from our parents.

My parents have six children still living with them, but they no longer use corporal punishment. I was able to confront them a year or so ago, and we talked things through and I can say I have forgiven them. My father came from an abusive home himself, and he somehow never made the connection between what he was doing and what had made him run away at 16. The rage I still feel scares me sometimes though. I don't know if I ever will trust myself to be a parent. The genetic legacy is not looking good.

I am ashamed to say that I spanked children myself when I was a minor in the Family. While it was never the way my parents beat me and I could use all the excuses of that being all I knew, or whatever, but it is something I will forever regret and will always feel immense guilt over and never really forgive myself for.

I do believe that spanking a child violates their body. It teaches them that people can touch you and hurt you if they have enough power over you. Something I remember about my parents is that they treated their friends and other adults so courteously and respectfully, and yet had no respect for their own children. Although pain no longer frightens me, I still have frequent nightmares that I am trapped into humiliation and degradation even now. Knocks and bruises are part of being an active child, but the humiliation and dominance is perhaps what is most damaging psychologically. It certainly did a number on me.

Original Location

ForgetIt,ItsMine - Thursday, January 15, 2004

It's awful to think of all the children who were sexually abused in TF......and they all deserve retribution.....I've never told anyone about any of the stuff that happened to me, it's not that easy, but as early as five years old I remember running from a man in the middle of the night who went into the room where I slept and started touching me. I remember quite vividly running from him more than several nights, and it almost always ended up in me tripping and falling down the stairs.....I still remember waking up at the bottom of the stairs. I don't know who he is but I wish I did so I could track him down and make him pay.

Original Location

Meathead - Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Hell if anyone thinks that girls dont get raped anymore in "the family", then they are wrong. Sorry to say this, but this shit still happens. it happend to a YA friend of mine, M. When M. went to a jett camp as an overseer. One night 2 of the other male YA overseers tied her up, striped her and then just plain, sexually abused her.

After it was found out, my dad, (M. was living in our home at the time) asked one of the CM (we are FM) VSs to do something, but nothing happened for months( maybe it was due to the fact that one of the guys is the son of the COs).

Finaly my dad got so sick of the hipocrsy, that he wrote Mama asking if rape is legal in the "family" and all he got for a reply was a maybe 10 sentence long reply, not even from mama but from Amy, saying "oh so sorry that happened we will try to look into it." and thats it No diciplinary measures nothing no apology what so ever. so ya this still goes on.

Original Location

mona - Sunday, December 14, 2003

I know it's a little late to respond to this article. But how can I resist when I remember how horrible it was. I was on silence restriction for three months, paddled twice by Joan once for failing to have my hair in a french braid which I was not allowed to remove. And once for talking to my sister on new years day when she had chickenpox. I was not allowed to eat for two weeks. And because of my varied and many sins that a twelve yearold has I had to have calastenics everyday. I had a public prayer of deliverance and missed almost every movie night they had. I do not hate TF but God I hate everyone who was a leader at the Jumbo. One more thing I'd like to add is I have never heard an apology that was suffucient, or that was not accompanied by some lame excuse as to why they could abuse or allow us to be abused in such a horrible fashion. In my opinion if you saw it being done and did nothing to stop it you are just as guilty

Original Location

ChrisG - Thursday, December 11, 2003

Yes, I lived with Manuel when I was 8 years old in Vienna and he is the sickest pervert that I know. He liked having sex with little girls, and once my friend in Vienna walked in on him having sex with a nine year old. I also was brought to his bed for a sleepover, and slept with him and his wife. I do not remember everything that happened that night...I remember waking up in the middle of the night naked and cold, and Manuel woke up to warm me...but then the memory blacks out. I do remember that after that night I was scared of him and did not want to go near him.

Original Location

tuneman7 - Thursday, December 11, 2003

He went by Peruvian Francis or Francis Peruvian in Thailand where he lived for many years. He coached the singing team at the Bangkok TC, (mainly comprised of girls). At one point he confessed publically to having relations with a 14 year old girl in the past and having suffered partial X-com for that incident. I believe that was around the time when Flirty Little Teens Beware came out.

Teen girls were always getting in trouble for flirting with him. Eventually he acted out his fantasies with two teen girls that I know of, one was 15, the other was 16, there may have been more. He was partially ex-commed for it, served his sentence of partial ex-communication then raised funds, went back to Peru from where he went to Russia where I believe he got in trouble again for some incident and eventually married some unknowing little Russian girl.

There was one adult in Thailand he was very interested in, curiously she looked like a 17 year-old. Interestingly she was asked to leave the home because she liked another man and it was putting him through "trials".

He was an excellent fund-raiser and an extremely charismatic fellow who was well liked by outsiders and raised thousands upon thousands of dollars monthly in Thailand. This is primarily why he was not disciplined adequately by the leadership there nor did they adequately protect their young people. I can only emphasize that he was perhaps one of the most effective fund-raisers the organization has ever had at a grass-roots level and he was incredibly efficient in the contact cultivation aspect of things. When he was leaving Thailand he was given some time to raise funds for his trip to Peru and then to Russia. Because he had such a wealth of contacts in Thailand he was able to raise close to or over $20,000 designated for his trip from his contacts in a very short period of time, which is no small feat in a Third world country. This goes to show the types of contacts he had cultivated there. He wasn't, of course, allowed to keep all of the funds and this was the source of some small conflict with him and his leadership while he was on his way out.

He was probably prone to this type of behavior to start with, and re-inforced this pattern through the abuses and perversions which were rampant condoned and institutionalized at MWM.

He was well liked by leadership and rank-and file in Thailand alike. He left because his wings were essentially clipped and he could no longer operate with the freedom he used to before these incidents came to light. The incidents were rather grevious in the sense that he confessed to neither, the teen girls did. He owned up when confronted but didn't come clean of another which was later reported by the same teen girl as a result of a conversation she had with the second girl who had also "done stuff" with this fellow.

It was pretty bizzare in the sense that he actually believed he was having a relationship with one of the girls, complete with love letters etc.. In fact they had to move the teen girl from the TC to another location to prevent them from communicating. Even then he attempted to courrier love-letters back and forth to this girl through people who he could rely on "not to tell".

In short, this fellow is a known offender who has a track record of pedophila. He is a repeate offender, and will probably engage in this behavior again if given opportunity.

The reason leadership in Thailand never really threw the book at him is more complex than the fact that he was simply one of the most excellent fund-raisers there. -- Which was most certainly the case. The leadership structure in ASCRO was / is headed by Silas and Endureth. No personnel decision regarding this fellow was made without their approval. The connection is made when you understand that these two characters were also some of the head hanchos along with the two characters who were then known as French Paul and Marianne -- now going by other names -- at MWM specifically their little perv camp known as "Loveville" or some other such ridiculous name. So Silas and Endureth were his leaders in MWM where they knew of all this chicanery, engaged in it themselves, etc., then again they were his leaders in Thailand. -- Get the picture? Wonder why they were dis-inclined to be too harsh on him or kick him out completely? -- Now you know.

Original Location

EyesWideShut - Monday, December 08, 2003

I squint my eyes, hardly able to stomach the rhetoric on the page; proof that brainwashing is something impossible to undo.

Strangly enough, I could take any one of the above "testimonies" and change a few words around to make it a tale of someone's misery IN the group. I was unhappy 80% of the time in the Family. I had bosses and, hell, jobs that sucked. I dreamed of death but could not find it. I got raped. I got beat up. I had daily brainwashing sessions where I might as well have been taking drugs; my mind was screwed up just as well. My own clear thought was blurred until I "cleaned up" and got away from the whole atmosphere that pulled me in like The Blob in the pictures. Then, finally, I was clearly what I could not see for so many years: the truth my not be out there, but I know it's not in here. I felt there must be something more, now I have found my place, etc, etc, etc.

Throw one at me and I'll throw one right back with the moral being that these kids "returning to the faith" will always be terribly unhappy. Like the ol' pervert used to say, "if you're not happy where you are, you'll never be happy anywhere". They will always be under condemnation about something, and they will probably leave again eventually, or maybe just kill themselves because the only way out will be up, so to speak. As with anything new, they'll be starry eyed for a while, then they'll get bored, tired of ballooning and busking in the dead of winter, upset that they have so little control, and that they can never be good enough, strong enough, or weak enough at the same time. Doi-oi-oing!!

Dogs returning to the vomit.

192 accounts.
Page 12 of 20

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