PrettiGem, March 19, 2002, 14:53
"Nice is Not Enough"?
Recently, one of my ex-member friend went to visit his mom, who's still fully in the group, and he got a hold of a GN called something like, "Nice is Not Enough". What I understand about this letter is that Zerby is saying those who leave the group may still be friends with those still in, but that members need to remember that it is not enough. They are backsliders and cannot be fully trusted. Does anyone know if this is true? I had some current member friends stay with me this weekend, and I totally hooked them up, paid for everything, drove them around, took them to the airport, everything! If that's the attitude that's being taught, then I am pissed! Why can't they just be sincerely grateful for the help when, after all, they have nothing?!  (reply to this post)

Lauren, March 20, 2002, 03:40
RE: Nice is Not Enough
...your post jogged something of a memory and I recall that yes, something like that was written. Although nothing recently (unless in the past three months which is how long I have been "out").

The general gist, if I recall correctly, is that although former members are "nice" and "sweet" and so forth, that "nice is not enough" to want to have your kids hanging out with them fulltime etc. because it invariably causes an attraction for the world or etc. etc. -- you know the usual stance on things.

But I could be mistaken. It was a good while ago that it was published.

But as far as your friends that you put up and took care of, you can't guarantee that that was their reaction to your hospitality just because of something written in a pub.

Family members have a tendency to "use" people. But that doesn't mean that all of them are like that. When I was "in" I was so annoyed by the "using" that went on, that I went the opposite extreme to not wanting to accept generosity unless I could sincerely show gratitude or pay it back in some way. So there are possibly others (particularly of the second generation) that think likewise and your friends probably really appreciated everything you did for them.
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Kyla, March 20, 2002, 04:56
RE: Nice is Not Enough
I haven't received mailings for about 4 months now, so cannot be certain about the GN question. However, I agree that an attitude of complacency is widespread in the Family. They are so used to receiving everything for free, that any help - even when it is on an extraordinary level - is taken for granted. Sure, they may say thank you, but often their actions do not show the gratitude deserved.
I recently got married, and my husband and I flew most of my family over. We put them up in our place, paid for their food, taxis, phone calls to other family members, and all the bits and pieces that come with accommodation. Now, while they were extremely grateful and said thank you, they were completely lost without us. They could not phone up a taxi without our help. They could not go to the shop to buy milk. They could not think of what to do with their time. We live in an English speaking country - it would be different if they didn't speak the language. But they did, and even though it was the week before our wedding, with all the work we had to do already, my husband and I had to "lead" them. Both of us love my family very much, so it wasn't a problem - we wanted to help (and I'm not complaining here); but my husband especially, who has never been in the Family, was so frustrated at times because he had never seen anything like it!
I think that because Family members spend all their time "following", i.e. leaning on the organization and the leadership, they are rarely required to make any solo decision. They must spend hours in counsel, prayer, prophecy and heart-sharing to move anywhere or do anything!
Also, because Family members get everything for free, I don't think they realise all the work that goes into actually paying for something. Sure, they fundraise, and it's time consuming and utterly boring (we've all been there, done that) but all of us "systemites" put in the hours, have to deal with taxes (something that is completely foreign to the Family), mortgages, credit card payments, interest, insurance, and a whole host of other financial matters. They don't know what it involves, and so cannot appreciate it!
If you ask me, "Nice" is what they survive on! Without "Nice", the Family would not have a roof over their heads or food in their mouths! Without "Nice", they would be put out of business! Then what would they do? Depend on the "Nice" welfare system! They depend on the "Nice" people of this world... and they dare say that "Nice is Not Enough"?!
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Sunny, March 20, 2002, 18:19
RE: Nice is Not Enough
Well said...I'm checking on the GN and will post more later.
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Sunny, March 20, 2002, 21:03
RE: Nice is Not Enough
I just asked my parents if they had heard of anything like that and they said no. They said that it's possible that it is on it's way but usually new GN's are posted on the Members Only site before they actually come out in print and as of three days ago there was nothing like that on the site. Wonder what this is all about.
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Lauren, March 21, 2002, 02:46
RE: Nice is Not Enough
It might have been a "sub topic" of a GN of another name. (You know how they do those sub-header things). I do recall something of the sort about a year back or more.

Kyla, your description of Family members was so very well put. Wish you would send that to Zerby, blind that she is (no pun intended).
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Sun, March 21, 2002, 03:03
RE: Nice is Not Enough
Could have been a subheading--true. Wish we knew for sure. It's a real bum thing to be filling people with about their relatives; this we know. But it wouldn't be the first time.
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Kyla, March 21, 2002, 04:05
RE: Nice is Not Enough
See, that's the thing: it's all been said since the beginning. The first youth to join were told to "come out from among them" and go tell their families they were going to be destroyed when the Whore went up in flames (and one has to ask: how "nice" is that?). It's nothing that hasn't been said before - yet another turn of the "revolution" in order to keep everyone on their toes. They MUST come up with SOMETHING to put in the mailings... if they didn't, they'd have nothing to say anymore and no one would follow! It's just that this time we're on the receiving end (though I have to say, it's a lot better than having to live it...)!


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PrettiGem, March 21, 2002, 09:36
RE: Nice is Not Enough
It's so sad. Every CM member of that group believes they are all about Love. They are the Leaders of the Future. Yet, they are taught not to trust even those who care deeply for them, and they cannot dial up a taxi, much less make all the legions of decisions it takes to be a world leader. That part always appealed to me, with my domination tendencies, but I had to wonder, who exactly we would be leading? It would be laughable, if it wasn't so pathetic.
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VWBabe, March 21, 2002, 11:00
RE: Nice is Not Enough
Yet another one of the contradictions in doctrine that the Family embraced. They say they are "all about love" but their attitude towards those who do not think as they do is condescending and "self-righteous".
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Kyla, March 21, 2002, 11:16
RE: Nice is Not Enough
Another terrific question is in regards to the Family's attitude towards the churches and those they deem less "close to the Lord", obedient, loving and giving. Will the view of these "lesser Christians" suddenly change when the time finally comes for the Family to be the "prophets of the end"? Will a generation of condescension suddenly undo itself in order that they may "lead" the world's "anti-Antichrist" population in defiance of "the Beast"?

And will the normal God-fearing Christian - or even simply the morally conscious citizen - suddenly embrace an organization that has been condoning child abuse and other crimes for 30+ years? Is it even realistic?
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porceleindoll, March 21, 2002, 19:08
RE: Nice is Not Enough
I've thought of that too, though you word it well. I personally will not be following the group during the ET, if and when it happens.

What about when we get to Heaven and the whole "ruling and reining with Jesus" starts, are we going to have to be under the group and their leadership? If so, I'll find a hut on the new earth.
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Lance, March 21, 2002, 21:02
RE: Nice is Not Enough
I think I'd rather go to hell then have some crazed Auntie sunshine and her enormous sagging tits preach to me for all eternity.
It is so true that family members are selfish; in the wierdest ways.. How many times have parents litteraly abandonded their children, because they were told to choose between living the family's childish fantasy or deciding to act like a grown up and take care of their kids the right way. Or making a child at the age of tewlve decide to stay in the family or walk out; just pack their bags and walk out, with no where to go. And they claim that their running a democracy and everyone has the right to choose. The family claims that being nice in the group is giving everybody a chance to vote for their leadership, VS's, and home teamwork members. But are expected to roll over to Zerby's apointed leadership, and to nicely and sweetly accept every fucked up word that comes out of her phsycopathic mouth.
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