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Getting Through : In Remembrance
Another Suicide | from porceleindoll - Monday, May 13, 2002
accessed 5331 times This is the second I have heard of in the past few months. A 17 year old ex-SGA recently jumped off a bridge in the country I live. This was just a couple weeks ago.
He left the group when he was about 14, with no support, into the world on his own.
He was always shy and withdrawn, never quite fitting into the Home situations.
He was a national of the country he was in, but being brought up in the group, he didn't learn the local language. Going into the system of this country is very difficult to do with no money, no language skills, no education documentation. At 14 you can't even legally get a job here.
His body was so mangled that he was only identifiable by the ring on his finger.
His parents left the group a couple years ago, they hadn't had contact with their kid for a few days and finally reported it to the police, the body had been found a couple days earlier and they were able to ID him (by the ring).
The kid was severely depressed and had some mental problems, and he knew it. His parents admittedly loved him, but when he asked his parents to take him for medical attention so he could get over his mental problems, they told him it was just a spiritual attack and he needed to resist the enemy.
Though they are out of the group, they still had the group mentality toward sickness, esp. of the mental sort. The sad ending is in the evidence of a youth no longer part of the world around us.
Though the Family will probably never take responsibility for these youths who have committed suicide since leaving the group, I have to ask, how much responsibility do they carry? Blame can be placed on the parents, blame can be placed on the kid, blame can be placed on his former shepherds, or one can say "Such is life, once in awhile a youth decides to end it in this manner."
But I say that being brought up in an environment that suppressed who you were, that left you uneducated for future decisions with your life, that allowed you to live on the streets at 14, that did not even provide you with the communication skills necessary to survive in the world around you, blame should also be shouldered by the group. The child was a product of their teachings, the boy was a result of their mistakes.
Mistakes will be made but frustration lies in the fact that the group will not acknowledge their role in situations such as these, and will place the blame on others. What is your opinion? |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from Weeder
Thursday, November 21, 2002 - 15:27
(Agree/Disagree?)
I knew Kei very well. I lived with him both in & out of the Family. I just want to say that he was a very good close friend. I also want to say for the record that his parents were trying to get him professional help. But Kei didnt want it. By the time he realised he needed it I think it was already to late. However I do mostly blame the family for his suicide. I really feel sorry for the many Japanese kids raised in the family in Japan. Who haved been raised their whole lives in Japan, look Japanese, are Japanese, but cant speak Japanese? What the fucks with that? How do you expect them to function in normal society?
Anyways, I said my piece. Hes in better place now.
Rest in peace Kei. Miss you everyday man.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from N
Wednesday, October 30, 2002 - 15:59
  (Agree/Disagree?)
What seems strange about all these comments, is that it sounds like you all think somehow that this is a family phonomenom. Most people have some kind of chemical imbalance and most people do not get treated for it. Kids die, or worse lead miserable lives, all over the world because thier parents neglected to notice the symptoms and get the needed help. Yes, it's sad but no different than what happens outside the family.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from Pandita from Holland
Wednesday, October 30, 2002 - 13:58
(Agree/Disagree?)
This year my older Sister Jasmine (24) also decided to end it once and for all.
The Family members that did show up at her funeral (the nerve of them) only comented on how she would live forever in the Kingdom of heaven (what else could you expect coming from their brainwashed minds?) They don't take responsibility for us 'Children' ! They leave it all up to GOD. I hope my sister is at peace now. It was the easy way out and I think everyday about suicide. Since I was conscious.
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| from Chiara
Monday, June 03, 2002 - 05:04
(Agree/Disagree?)
How sad. I recently worked in a mental hospital while in between jobs. I have to say that some of the stories I heard and cases I saw were tragic and heartbreaking. Needless to say so many of them were so similar to things which have happened to me or to people I know. If these people are in need of serious medical attention, I can only imagine how many ex-members need it. The family has so much to answer for.
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| from Yoda
Friday, May 24, 2002 - 15:48
(Agree/Disagree?)
Sweet Suicide!
It makes me laugh!
Everyone is so pathetic, don't they realise? Creeping death waiting for the soul.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from ed
Thursday, May 23, 2002 - 17:56
(Agree/Disagree?)
How terribly sad and heart breaking. It breaks my heart to read this article. My sister was going for a major in Pyschology and my parents pretended that they didn't know that. They won't acknowledge the fact that all 3 of their daughters have chemical imbalances and are on medication or that my sister tried to commit suicide 5 times and almost lost her little boy through it all (through social workers). I've been in and out of therapy for 5 years and haven't found peace yet.
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| from JohnnieWalker
Wednesday, May 22, 2002 - 04:16
(Agree/Disagree?)
I don't know how accurate this is, but a palm reader once told me that if you have 4 lines forming a square on the ball of your right palm (under the thumb, it means you have suicidal tendencies or will commit suicide. Anybody else hear of this?
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from Rob
Saturday, May 18, 2002 - 04:50
(Agree/Disagree?)
Catcher in the rye: http://www.cardhouse.com/x07/catcher1.htm" target="_blank">
(reply to this comment)
| from Christian
Thursday, May 16, 2002 - 17:56
(Agree/Disagree?)
Ah So, what a wonderful game of go!
How like life is the game of go, unpredictable, and difficult to learn.
MrWonderfulMind, solve this for us.
Of course, you hear voices too.
The demons? Yes, and I say, Ah So, what a wonderful game of go.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | from Albatross
Wednesday, May 15, 2002 - 10:09
(Agree/Disagree?)
Wow! A very thoughtful analysis of the problem. It's a sad truth, and I fear Kei's death will indeed go down as "just another suicide." Even if we can hypothetically absolve the Family of any resposibility in these tragedies, it seems to me that we should be able to expect some substantive effort on their part to help
these poor kids. When I say "help" I don't refer to "prayer, counsel and prophecies." We just read the very real problems facing these kids. Message to the Family:....Charity begins at home. You can't pay rent and buy food with prophecies. While you are "saving the souls of the lost" how about the bodies of the children who are the offspring of your religious experiment? Or are these " cobbler's kids" going to go barefoot as well?
(reply to this comment)
| from porceleindoll
Wednesday, May 15, 2002 - 01:41
(Agree/Disagree?)
My brother wrote this concerning the suicide that just happened:
I can't say I knew Kei all that well. I'd met him through the years and seen him off and on during different periods of his life. He always struck me as a pleasant fellow, he always seemed nice, but distant. Kei's life represents many in his age group that grew up in the family, his death -- hopefully won't. Do I blame the Family for his demise, to a certain extent - yes. However, I wouldn't lay the sole blame on the Family as I believe that part of the blame should rest on the individual, but much more on his parents.
Every individual is given the freedom of choice. Kei's parents were given the freedom to choose what life they would lead for themselves and what environment they would raise their family in. They chose a cult. A group that swings from a conservative Christian side that practices living by faith and forsaking all worldly possessions to serve Christ, to a far more drastic side that encourages it's members to have sex with Christ and practice infidelity. The side effects of a belief system such as these is their ostracism from the world and from life as we know it. And now Kei's parents have to live with the consequence of their decisions.
While I was still in the family, I had become very concerned for others like me who had the unfortunate pleasure to grow up with out any form of a general education. Kei represents a majority of Japanese children who have grown up in The Family's English environment, only to have parents who are Japanese with minimal English capabilities. Their parents not only can't communicate with their kids, but they've been encouraged by the Family to have scores of them. Because of the Family's stance on birth control, many FGA's now have a handful of kids that they're not able to take care of personally and in turn many kids are neglected. In the case of Kei's parents, they decided to leave the Family with these children in order to seek out a better life, only to realize that they had to start over in a new system with no money. With children who don't speak their mother tongue and who have absolutely no education.
I was very shocked while in the group at how easy it was for the family to let a kid out on the street if he didn't conform to the Family's line of thinking. I was even more shocked at how easy it was for the parents of that child to give in to the Family's pressure and allow the kid to wander off on his own because of his "problems". So you've got a child, like Kei, who grew up in a fringe group, who can't speak his national language, who has no education to speak of and because of his desire to break out of a cult and make a life for himself - is ostracized by the only life he's known only to be dumped on the street to fend for himself as a junior teenager. You do the math. What else is there for a kid like that? For some, because of their inner desire to get ahead and beyond their past, although this is a hard process, they make it. Yet, there are many others like Kei, who aren't able to pull out of the cycle that's sucking them down and choose to end things the easy way. Sure, it was his unfortunate choice to take his own life, but I'd reason that there was a lot more in his past pushing him off that bridge.
Because of the Family's conservative perspective on kids that leave the group, they negate to take any responsibility for them after they leave. The parents of these kids are in many ways just as bad off as the kids themself.
The ones that are in the Family allow themselves to become influenced by the group and believe that a little "taste of the system" might scare them back to the "lords fold". They feel it's good for them to go thru some hard times in order for them to appreciate the Family's beliefs and way of life. The parents that have left the group with their teenagers often have little prior education, can barely make ends meet, and have little time to spend with each of their children. It's an endless cycle with devastating consequences. There are scores of these kids that have been "dumped" by their parents and the Family only to be left on their own to fend for themselves; leaving them open to any influence that comes their way. And because the system rejects them, many of them feel that the only place to turn to is drugs, alcohol and the under world. Every one has to survive, and many of them feel that the streets are their only way out.
The Family was not prepared for their youth to choose to leave, for 2 reasons:
1. Jesus was suppose to return a while ago
2. We were suppose to be the creme of the crop and a pure generation So when kids started to leave the group, the Family was caught with their pants down and were force to deal with a situation that they never anticipated. Now they're left with a few choices, either to lighten up on their policies towards "backsliders" and allow the children to have more interaction with their parents even though the kids are not necessarily "disciples", or to ignore the situation and "have faith that god would work things out". When they chose to "lighten up" toward outsiders, they were faced with the dilemma that these kids were coming back around and influencing their other members. Other teenagers started leaving realizing that maybe life wasn't great outside the group, but at least it was their life and they could think for themselves. The Family figured that being able to write their kids off to God was a lot easier than dealing with an exodus of it's members thru their "enlightening" by the ones who had already left.
It was a lot easier to dismiss these children then have to deal with these kids' problems.
The Family only believes in a sixth grade education, because if you stayed in the group, that's all you really need. They never thought that maybe someday their second generation would decide to step out on their own and would need much more that an elementary education, to say the least. To this day they discourage parents from allowing their kids any form of education past High School, and it's against their policies for a child to go to College and still be a member of the group. This leaves us with a couple of predicaments; number one - the children are left unprepared for real life; and number two - the Family is at best - made up of grade school grads.
They encouraged parents to Home School their children, but as was the case with Kei and many Japanese or non English speaking parents, they cannot speak the same basic language, so how can they educate their kids? Granted some Family children are getting a good basic education at home, but the majority are left on their own, without any guidance, and spend most of their time "washing dishes" and "changing diapers" and raising money. This time is of course classified as "vocational training".
Not only was Kei left with no education, but he was left with no one to turn to and no way out. This is ultimately his parents responsibility for allowing themselves to abdicate their god given duties to the group. However this is also the unfortunate reality that the Family is now faced with. And even if they're never held responsible in this life, they are responsible to God and to those who's life they've affected. This is a classic example of why government does not interfere with personal family's and what happens when they do. I hope that every parent in the Family learns that you can't throw away your responsibility for a greater "cause" or "ideal", because your first priority in life should be towards your family and not "The Family". Don't let this go down as just "another suicide".
(reply to this comment)
|  From jez
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 19:29
(Agree/Disagree?)
I can't help but feel a sense of unease when this paedophilic sect is referred to as The Family, there is nothing 'family' about them, even the acronym TF does no justice. BTW I firmly consider them to be thinner than water.
In future I will refer to them as 'The Paedophilic (sic,as it's nothing to do with love) Cult' or TPC.
As per usual, the name they choose to use is a complete anti-thesis of their beliefs, so can those of us who know them, please not honour them by referring to them by THEIR chosen name(s).Name a spade a spade FFS! And the best of luck/good will and prosper to all who've escaped the clutches of Zerby the Geek(may she rot in the hell that's a.k.a as her syphillic stench trench) If THAT is God's end-time prophet, then kiss my empty sacks, coz she'll never get a look-see at them laden.
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| | | | | | | | | | | | | | From xolox
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 22:27
(Agree/Disagree?)
Well sure, I'll expound. You got the time?
I saw the term "Fambly" used as a White trash misspronouncement in a Steven King novel, and have decided to use it when mentioning the name of the cult. Sort of my way of being derrogatory toward them, ya' dig? (Steven King, please don't sue.)
I was travelleing in Oklahoma, and have found few places more god forsaken, hick, backwoods and plain white trash than that. Not to mention religiously fanatic.
While there I got stuck in a little town with a max population of about about 300. I can't even remember the name, it didn't figure on any map. The tow truck driver took us about 50 miles out of our way because the mechanic there was his brother in law. This mechanic owned the whole town from the looks of it, and as soon as we arrived he took apart the drive train, splitting the bolts while he was at it, effectively stranding us. They took all our money, we litterally had to show our bank accounts at zero before they let us go. I remember approaching the dude in the bar with the bank receipts, he was sitting at a table laughing it up with the sheriff.
It was like the freaking twillight zone! Everybody dressed like the 50's with the duck tails, cigarrette packs in the rolled up T-shirt sleaves, Old cars, 50's music and radio programs. Old 50's movies... Fuck, I should write a short story about it! I know it sounds unbelievable, but does being raised in a cult to those who've been lucky to have parents other than ours. The mechanic working on our vehicle even had all his sons calling him sir... It was fucking eire.
It was not far from Oakland. As a matter of fact, you'll remember that place as the spawning ground of Berg.
The term is really a private joke with myself and I don't expect you to understand, but I hope this put it in context somewhat for you.
(reply to this comment) |
| | From scyanide
Thursday, November 21, 2002, 16:07
(Agree/Disagree?)
I dont mean to be so picky about this
whole article involving Kei and his
untimely death. But I would like to set the record straight about a few things.
First, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to write this article about him. But I'd like to ask you, how well did you know him? Well, like you said,
not very well. And I think it's a little unfair to pin all the blame on his parents when I happen to know him and his parents personally. He was my
very good friend for about 2
years until his
death. And I know for a fact that his
parents tried their very best to get him professional help. We all did.
And as for "Just letting him out on the streets". Well, he was of legal age,
and he chose to do so. Disregarding what his parents knew what was best for
him. They tried, but what could they do?
Oh, and by the way, they had already left
the cult when he left home. He didnt
leave home because they were in the
cult, he had his own reasons. I've also
wittnessed their personal relationship.
And all I can say is that it was the way
it should have been. So, what made Kei
do it? I'm not an expert on suicidal people, but I dont think he wanted us to know. But all I can say is: please dont asume to know all the facts
and details figured out when in fact, the story you told is completely based
on theories and hazy facts. But I appreciate your effort because it is a
story that needs to be told someday.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From scyanide
Thursday, November 21, 2002, 16:06
(Agree/Disagree?)
I dont mean to so picky about this
whole article involving Kei and his
untimely death. But I would like to set the record straight about a few things.
First, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to write this article about him. But I'd like to ask you, how well did you know him? Well, like you said,
not very well. And I think it's a little unfair to pin all the blame on his parents when I happen to know him and his parents personally. He was my
very good friend for about 2
years until his
death. And I know for a fact that his
parents tried their very best to get him professional help. We all did.
And as for "Just letting him out on the streets". Well, he was of legal age,
and he chose to do so. Disregarding what his parents knew what was best for
him. They tried, but what could they do?
Oh, and by the way, they had already left
the cult when he left home. He didnt
leave home because they were in the
cult, he had his own reasons. I've also
wittnessed their personal relationship.
And all I can say is that it was the way
it should have been. So, what made Kei
do it? I'm not an expert on suicidal people, but I dont think he wanted us to know. But all I can say is: please dont asume to know all the facts
and details figured out when in fact, the story you told is completely based
on theories and hazy facts. But I appreciate your effort because it is a
story that needs to be told someday.(reply to this comment) |
| | from kiki
Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 13:17
(Agree/Disagree?)
So sad to hear this ; ...since Sad wrote " Is not the first suicide " I was wondering ..... How many young ex-members have decided to take threir life away after living the group ? Does anybody know?
(reply to this comment)
| From pumpkin
Wednesday, May 22, 2002, 03:19
(Agree/Disagree?)
It is really sad. I know I've struggled with suicide ever since I was 6 and I tried it a couple times. I'm 18 now and it's still up there on my list of issues. It's such a habit now to think of it as a way out when I'm having a hard time. I know many other ex-family members who have similar experiences to mine. I'm glad this issue is being talked about in the open.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From Pumpkin
Thursday, May 23, 2002, 14:26
(Agree/Disagree?)
It definitely wasn't guilt, or not having a place in society. I wrote more about it under Lovers-Sex. At the time when it got really bad, I was being sexually abused at the time. It had a lot to with that and my family knew what was going on and didn't get me any help. Basically I ws ignored at my house, public school was a daily nightmare and there was a lot of physical abuse going on after school and then at night, the sexual abuse. Basically, I didn't have any reason to live. Every day was like torture and I only saw one way out. I've gotten help now, I'm in a Survivors group and therapy among other things but I still struggle with it when things get bad because like I said it's a habit of thinking that it's a way out and it is but just not one I want to choose right now. Hope that clarifys it.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from Venus
Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 13:14
(Agree/Disagree?)
Can we gather information on approximately how many suicides there have been of young people born and raised who left the group? i know of two. one we all know ben and the other a friends sister who slit her wrists. i guess it's hard to do without naming names....i think we have all been at that mental point where it almost seemed a viable option. for those of us who are parents, at least we had our children to keep us sane, since their happiness was the reason we left...
(reply to this comment)
| | | | From someone
Monday, May 20, 2002, 15:03
(Agree/Disagree?)
The person who witnessed her death is my step sister, and from her account it was an unintentional suicide; the equivolent of someone standing on a bridge contemplating death only to slip and fall. It was an accident, she took the pills right in front of some people in some sort of fit of frustration, I don't think she intended to kill herself.(reply to this comment) |
| | From porceleindoll
Monday, May 20, 2002, 17:49
(Agree/Disagree?)
From what my brother told me, she had to take some medication as she was sick, or prevention, I can't remember, but that particular medication was known to cause suicidal tendencies, it had happened before. So the prophecy claiming she was so depressed and all wasn't necessarily accurate as the suicide was most likely linked to the medication.
Anyway, I can't remember the details specifically.(reply to this comment) |
| | from Sad
Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 12:51
(Agree/Disagree?)
This suicide was not the first and sadly will not be the last. Having it's young people or ex-young people kill themselves does not The Family a criminal make, however,the blood splashes back on the hands of those who are in a position to seek medical/mental care for these young people and instead choose to leave it in "the hands of God."
(reply to this comment)
| From porceleindoll
Tuesday, May 14, 2002, 21:10
(Agree/Disagree?)
You're right in that it doesn't make the Family a criminal, I think that in most cases noone is charged with homocide in the event of suicide.
But in the society I live in at least, when a suicide occurs, they don't blame it solely on the kid, esp. in the case of kids. An in-depth look is taken into their homelife, school situation, background, bullying, relations with peers, teachers and parents. Things are fully investigated. That way all parties involved are more aware of the problems certain kids face and can take some action to help others they see going down that path.
What makes me upset is the Family doesn't take a part of the responsibility. I am going to post a reaction from an SGA that my brother received concerning this event, and once again, this Family individual is putting the blame on the kid and his parents rather than saying,
"Yeah, I see how the group could bear some responsibility for this as well, so, what can we do to help others?"(reply to this comment) |
| | from EyesWideShut
Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 00:13
(Agree/Disagree?)
God, that is so sad. What is amazing is that more of us didn't take a bath with the toaster. Wishing to die was a prevailing thought all through my unhappy "teen training" years--right up there with sex and sex--which might have lightened the load, had I had any. I don't mean to make light of this boy's tragic end, if anything I am saying that many more of us would be with him now if thoughts had fathered deeds. I hope he's finally at peace.
(reply to this comment)
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