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Getting Through : In Remembrance
Internal Documents From The Family Regarding Ricky Rodriguez | from Jules - Friday, January 14, 2005
accessed 14012 times I have moved the comments referencing the statements by Karen Zerby (Maria), Steve Kelly (Peter) and WS (the internal administrative offices of The Family) regarding Ricky and Angela's deaths, to this separate article. The initial thread was getting difficult to read, since it is now so long.
Thank you to the people who are posting these. |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from More from Kelly
Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 13:40
(Agree/Disagree?)
(MO site announcement #8)
Dear Family,
God bless you all. Mama and I love you and are praying for you. We have been especially keeping those of you in the U.S. in our prayers, as that’s where most of the media focus has been up until now.
Since my last update, a major show aired in the U.S. Following is a report about the show:
“ABC’s Primetime had a segment on the Family which focused on Ricky’s murder/suicide. The show consisted of three segments, and the segment about the Family was in the middle. The segment was 16 minutes long. The first eight minutes focused on Ricky, showing a number of clips from the video he made. The next eight minutes had clips of interviews of SGA former members who spoke about abuse. This segment also included a couple short clips of the old dance videos, which were stolen from the Family about 15 years ago. Some of the picture pages from the Davidito Book were also shown. Throughout this segment Claire, the North American Family spokesperson, answered questions and made some statements. Three SGA Family members were interviewed for the show and a powerful statement by one of them was aired.”
As expected, the show was negative, but at least, as the Lord said in prophecy, “Little bits of truth and light got out, and that’s important. Through those little glimmers of light, the sheep will hear My voice, and they will be interested in you and in the truth I have given you.”
The day after the show the Family web site received several confirmations of this through some emails which read:
I saw the story on TV last night about the suicidal member and thought how sad. In no way did I feel like it was the Ministries fault or anyone else’s. When we do not walk with Christ it is easy for Satan to seep in and distort things. But this is how I heard about The Family and now I am interested in learning more about your Ministry.
*
Just watched the Ricky spot on ABC. Believed him after watching the sound bites. But after watching the whole episode, something struck me as strange. Can't put my finger on it...something just wasn't right with that kid. More than met the eye. I work in a rescue mission. My life was saved by Jesus Christ through a rescue mission ministry similar to the one where I now work. I long only to serve God by reaching those who are at the very end of the line. I know what it feels like to be at the very edge of the abyss, then have God pull me out. Somehow I feel that I can make a difference, despite what I think of myself. He is so wonderful. Just wanted to share what my heart feels about Him and to say that I don't believe the lies.
*
I am sorry for your loss. I heard you through the news. I don't believe some of the things that the news said about your group. I just hope that this bit of bad P.R. does not hurt the good things that you all do around the world. I will hope to hear a reply from your group, because I would like to know more about your group. (End of emails.)
There hasn’t been anything in the U.S. print media lately. A few stories seem to be in the works, as some journalists are contacting Family members for interviews, and a British journalist will be coming out with a story shortly.
Mama has been working on another GN on this topic which you should have access to by now (see the MO site for GN 1121, “Advancing Anyway!”). We pray that it will be a help and strength to you. You should have also received the notice about changing the date of the Feast in order to allow you more time to study the GNs, the Board criteria, and Home review questionnaires. Also coming shortly is a GN about the recent tsunami full of informative and faith-building prophecies about that catastrophic event.
Mama and I want to again comment on the myconclusion.com site which you young people have launched. Your postings have been a wonderful testimony of your lives, your dedication, and how you feel about your faith and your Family. Making your voice heard in such a resounding way is powerful. Of course, a few of the detractors are trying to pick it apart, just like they pick everything else apart—saying that you were told what to write, and that you are brainwashed. Don’t worry about the vocal few.—I believe there are those within the detractor camp who are beginning to realize that you young people are in the Family because you have chosen to be, because you love the Family, because you know it’s a great place to serve the Lord, to raise your children, and to work towards making the world a better place. I think there are some who are beginning to realize that in attacking the Family, they are attacking all Family members, including you, our second generation members—they are attacking your families and your children. Hearing from you has hopefully helped them to see that you are not about to take that lying down, that you will fight back, that you are part of the Family they are fighting.
You have made it very clear through your testimonials that the Family isn’t what the detractors who are currently fighting the Family have tried to say it is. You have painted a very different picture of life in the Family than the distorted picture they have presented to the media, and which they try to paint on their various web sites. You have made a difference. You are standing up for your freedom of choice, your freedom of religion, your freedom to live your life in the manner you wish. Mama and I are proud of you for it. Your voice is powerful!
Since one of the main stated goals of these detractors has been to pull current member young people out of the Family, it would seem they have come to the conclusion after reading your posts that their tactics are doing just the opposite. As such, over the past few days they have taken another approach. They’ve begun holding out “olive branches,” claiming that their intention was never to destroy the Family, that all they really want is to talk and discuss the issues, to come to terms of reconciliation.
As far as we are concerned, we’re very much in favor of reconciling, of finding ways to heal both real and perceived hurts that may exist. We made this a major push in years past, encouraging Family members to reconcile with relatives and former members, and many have done so. Our sincere wish for those who were once a part of the Family is that they will be successful and happy, and lead constructive, fulfilling lives. But you see, reconciliation is a two way street; both sides must want it and must make the effort to bring it about. Up until this point, however, the “reconciliation” our most hostile detractors have been talking about is that Mama and I resign from the leadership of the Family, at best, or are thrown in jail, at worst. They are trying to get us to agree with their point of view that our lifestyle is abusive, and that children born in the Family are victims of abuse. They talk of disbanding the Family. Obviously, that isn’t a viable starting place for dialog, much less reconciliation.
Some of the people who are now publicly stating that they are not out to bring down the Family, have stated or inferred quite the opposite in previous posts on their web sites. One of their spokespeople who now is publicly stating that they want to dialog said just three weeks ago, “I need to send a message to Zerby: ‘This generation of children is going to destroy you. God forbid anybody else die. But barring that, we are going to destroy your organization. We’re going to destroy your group. We’re going to destroy your lives’….” He also stated, “I'm going to come back and personally destroy the Family if I have to use my teeth." Two years ago I sent a message via an intermediary to this person regarding the possibility of meeting to discuss their issues and the answer I received back was a no. This would seem to suggest that these current overtures of discussion and reconciliation may just be rhetoric with a hidden agenda.
These folks feel very free to quote out of context anything written by the Family; they feel free to twist and distort it, to interpret it to fit their spin. Meanwhile, they have been making many statements on the web for the past four years, the vast majority of which have been disparaging. Their profanity, bitterness, and calls for vengeance have fanned the flames of intolerance and led to many moderate former members reinterpreting their entire time in the Family from a negative perspective. Our detractors have attacked our belief system. They have made it clear that their goal is to bring down the Family and see it dismantled. They post our GNs, and proceed to mock, criticize and condemn them, which in essence means they are mocking our faith and our Family way of life. There have been attempts at various sorts of blackmail, though not posted openly on their sites. Dialog cannot thrive in such an environment.
I understand that their web sites are an open forum for anyone to post on and as such every word doesn’t necessarily reflect the thoughts or feelings of the administrators of those sites. However, some of their web site board members themselves have posted writings that promote destroying the Family. To the site administrators credit, when some earlier violent postings were pointed out to them they removed them. However as of February 5th the postings quoted below, which incite violence and hatred, are on their site for all to read.
“I don't feel sorry for her [Angela], in fact, I would have loved to watch or even help. … So while you stand around hoping for peaceful resolution, I have no problems solving THIS type of issue with violence, SHE DESERVED DEATH, and he deserved to administer it in whatever fashion he chose or was capable of… he died a hero, a warrior, and I wish I could be that strong, or even take a few more, you know.....leave the game with a higher score.”
“The only thing that separates me from the action that Ricky took is that I would only kill one of them if I figured I could get away with it.”
“Sue [Angela] got what she had coming… I'm glad he stabbed her instead of just letting her off with one to the head.”
“If he had to go, he might as well have taken one of the f**kers with him; it's almost too bad he only got one.”
While I realize that such disturbing postings do not reflect the viewpoints of most of those who post on this site, nevertheless I consider it very irresponsible for the site administrators to allow this sort of violent rhetoric to remain on their site. For these reasons I find it hard to believe they are sincere in what they say about reconciliation.
Another reason we question their sincerity is that they continue to state that the leadership of the Family never apologized for or repudiated the actions of the past that led to some minors being exposed to sexually inappropriate behavior and have never accepted any responsibility for what occurred in the past. This is totally untrue.
We have republished the apologies made over the past ten years in one of our recent notices to make those easily available to all, both current and former Family members. [See: new.familymembers.com/pubs/pub.note.8] We also presented our acknowledgement of responsibility in our letter to the judge in Britain in September 1995 during a custody case. We stated, “…we accept that as the author of ideas upon which some members acted to the harm of minors in The Family, he [Father David] must bear responsibility for that harm. Maria, and all of us in World Services Leadership, also feel the burden of responsibility... We acknowledge that it was wrong to proclaim a teaching of sexual liberty (i.e., in 1976 and 1978) without establishing clear rules to ensure that sexual contact did not take place between adults and children.”
After reading my letter to him in response to his concerns on these issues, and after reading “An Answer to Him that Asketh” (see GN 653), the high court judge wrote in his judgment:
“I could not have asked for more… I am impressed, very impressed, by the fact that The Family have openly revealed this to all the membership without any attempt to obfuscate my findings. In ‘An Answer to Him that Asketh Us! - the Whys and Wherefores behind WS's letter to the Judge’ Maria writes to the disciples and friends. ‘If we had known then what we know now, we would not have published this material.’ She makes fulsome apology… I believe that The Family has removed all ambiguity in this matter. I believe that the problems which have attracted the concern of the world outside the group have been addressed”.
Our letter to the judge, the GN “An Answer to Him that Asketh Us,” and other apologies have been in the public record for almost ten years. The judge accepted this. Our detractors have the judge’s ruling yet they still insist we haven’t apologized or addressed these issues.
I’m sharing these things with you so that if you have been exposed to some of these open letters from our detractors that are now being disseminated, you can understand why at this point it’s difficult to determine whether the stated motives of those seeking dialog, and in some cases, reconciliation, are sincere. Mama and I are not against communication, we’re not against making attempts at reconciliation. Our prayer is that good relations will be strengthened between former and current members, as well as reconciliation and mutual respect for the path that each one has chosen of their own free will. In order for this to happen, though, we need to know that there is sincere effort on the part of those writing these letters to respect our beliefs and choices, rather than it being just a tactical move to fulfill their previously stated goal of dismantling the Family. I hope these overtures are indeed sincere, but because of the above reasons, it is unclear at this time.
Any efforts at reconciliation would need to be based on mutual respect. There would need to be a sincere effort put forth on their part to respect our religious beliefs and lifestyle as well as the right of Family parents to raise their children according to their beliefs. Family members have been encouraged to respect the rights of former members to live the lifestyle of their choosing; the same respect must be accorded to Family members. The former members involved would need to recognize that their public campaigns against the Family demonize and stigmatize our children and could even place them at risk.
Even if Mama and I were convinced that they truly wanted to make some attempt at reconciliation, it would not be possible at this time, considering the volatile environment that was created by Ricky’s actions. Just the other day death threats were sent to thefamily.org site and the myconclusion.com site. It’s a highly charged time and things need to calm down. I think it would be wise for everyone to step back and take a deep breath—many of them, in fact. While we are open to the possibility of dialog, it seems that before any productive discussion could be considered there needs to be a few months of cooling off.
To this end, I’m suggesting to all of you, dear Family, to please avoid going to the former member web sites. First off, as we’ve said many times before, they aren’t a spiritually healthy place to go. Secondly, and this is very important at this time, please do not post there . When you do, it’s pretty obvious from the reactions to your posts that you cause people to get angry, which is something we want to avoid. I understand that you have very legitimate reasons for being angry as our beliefs are being dragged through the dirt on their site, and are angry because they are seeking to destroy the Family. But now isn’t the time for anger, it’s a time for cooling off and healing, and forgiving. If you want to post your thoughts, you are welcome to do so on myconclusion.com, but please avoid doing so on the former member sites. Now is a time to pray for all those, both in our former member community and in the Family, who have been deeply disturbed or saddened by Ricky’s actions.
Over the next few months Mama and I will be praying and counseling with other leadership, both FGA and SGA, in regards to steps that could be taken towards reconciliation. This will allow us all time for closure regarding the deaths of Ricky and Angela. It will also allow us time to pray and hear from the Lord in regards to reconciliation. As some time passes, it will become clearer if the calls for dialog and/or reconciliation are in fact sincere and a viable option. If dialog were to become a real possibility, it wouldn’t be carried out over the web, but rather in a private forum, and would be conducted by agreed-upon attendees as well as agreed upon rules that would not allow for caustic rhetoric or unreasonable demands.
Some of our detractors are attempting to open dialog with SGA Family members. They do this mostly by contacting individuals via email. Mama and I don’t recommend that you enter into such personal dialogue with these detractors. The reasons for this is that in the past they have posted on their site that they feel it’s very effective to “witness” to SGAs, to talk in a reasonable manner, to show themselves friendly so that they can convince members to leave the Family. This brings into question their motives for wanting to dialog with you. My suggestion is that you wait for future official dialog rather than attempting it on your own.
During this time while we hope that things will calm down, please pray that everyone can find healing and closure from all that this tragic incident has evoked. Pray that the anger will subside. Pray for a spirit of forgiveness. I know some of you in the Family are also angry, and understandably so, but you must get past that anger with the Lord’s help, and forgive; that’s the only way you can heal.
Thank you, dear Family, for your prayers. Mama and I love you dearly and are praying for your outreach, your witnessing, your Word time, prayer time, and for the upcoming changes within your Homes during this year of strengthening. Thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Cor 15:57).
Love,
Peter
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | |  From xolox
Thursday, February 10, 2005, 20:53
(Agree/Disagree?)
It's just what they keep telling themselves so they won't have to keep changing their underwear five times a day.
I think TF leaders are comming to realize that this time it's different, they can't just go on pretending it's of no consequence. Not even with their own. Regardless of what they tell us or their drones, I beleive this time they really are scared, as well they should be. There's just too much implicating them. Before it was vague rhetoric, now it's specific accusations against specific people, and that's a little harder to just brush aside.
I remember before when there were raids happening all over the place, mostly they just put out mass prayer lists. I think their actions this time around show more panic, more fear of personal accountability. I'm not fooled for a second into beleiving that they're scared for their field homes. Even if they keep rattling on about it. They know that's not our target. And they know who is. And if they're afraid of violence then they're right on the money, I hear prisons are particularly tough on pedofiles.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From ManicMoe
Thursday, February 10, 2005, 19:19
(Agree/Disagree?)
I can't find this "I'm going to come back and personally destroy the Family if I have to use my teeth" quote anywhere except in the statement by Mr. Kelly/Smith. Does anyone know where they got this quote from?
------
"One of their spokespeople who now is publicly stating that they want to dialog said just three weeks ago, “I need to send a message to Zerby: ‘This generation of children is going to destroy you. God forbid anybody else die. But barring that, we are going to destroy your organization. We’re going to destroy your group. We’re going to destroy your lives’….” He also stated, “I'm going to come back and personally destroy the Family if I have to use my teeth.
------(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | From JohnnieWalker
Thursday, February 10, 2005, 14:52
 (Agree/Disagree?)
"Over the next few months Mama and I will be praying and counseling with other leadership, both FGA and SGA, in regards to steps that could be taken towards reconciliation."
Ok, so they move a little slowly, but I'm glad we at least got some reaction out of them. Too bad they didn't send an official letter to us in reply to our open letter. I think it's a little juvenile that they tell all this to The Family, most of whom never even read the letter, and expect us to find out through the grapevine.
I certainly hope that the reconciliation they're discussing will include making the legal names of the abusers available.
Also, when they say private forum, I do not think it is unreasonable to demand that such a forum be held on OUR terms. Terms like:
1) all participants of the forum will be agreed upon by all parties. If both parties are not in agreement, the individual may not attend or participate in the forum.
2) the forum will require the presence of a third, independant party mutually agreed upon by the other 2 parties.
3) if the forum requires all parties to be present in one location, the location of such a forum will remain undisclosed to the general public.
4) the entire conversation will be recorded and identical copies will be given to both parties.
5) the conclusions of the forum will be published in their entirety to both Family members and the general public.
I'm sure there are lots more, but the bottom line is, if they cannot trust the people they are going to be discussing this with, then there can be no valid attempt at reconciliation on their part.
I guess we'll see what happens.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From ErikMagnusLehnsher
Thursday, February 10, 2005, 18:00
(Agree/Disagree?)
Great points, JW. I am at once skeptical and hopeful. TF leadership has historicaly been reactive rather than proactive but an appearance of willingness to open a dialogue shows that they are taking some of these concerns more seriously than in the past.
The fact they are lumping requests for their resignations in the outrageous and unreasonable demands category kind of made me chuckle. Many, many former members would consider that if TF Leadership just resigned and faded into obscurity they would be getting one hell of a plea bargain deal. (reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From Albatross
Thursday, February 10, 2005, 14:23
(Agree/Disagree?)
There are allegations of sexual abuse of children against Zerby. There are allegations of sexual abuse against Peter Amsterdam. There are allegations of sexual abuse against other top leaders in TF. There is proof that TF has covered up for and protected child abusers. I don’t want to “reconcile” with them. I want to see them face legal justice for their crimes. The same goes for anybody else who committed these crimes against children. If the Family International is as they say an “independent Christian missionary fellowship” then it will go on long after the abusive leaders face accountability. That is fine with me and always has been. I do however mean to see that those who supported encouraged, protected, and committed abusive acts on the children in their care face justice. I will do everything I can to expose the charities that front for them. I do mean to force them out of hiding and into the light of truth. If that means that TF will be come leaderless….then that is their problem not mine. As for their “Faith”, I could care less. I don’t respect a faith that seems to value group thought over critical thinking…but I DO respect their right to practice it so long as they are not criminally abusing anyone.
As long as they refuse to listen to the claims of abuse, as long as they continue claiming that this is all the result of a few “vitriolic apostates”, this will never go away. They had their chance to sit down and work with us. I sought a Family leader (Daniel Craig Roselle AKA Ado) and presented a plan to them. They did NOT respond. They can still take the olive branch that has been out there for these last few years. But I suspect that thanks to their refusal to investigate the specific claims of abuse, it may in fact be too late to preserve their “good name” in the US. They know what they must do. The ball is their court. But it may very well be too late for them; the writings and the testimonies of victims damn them.
Now is not the time to draw back. Now is the time to force them out of hiding. Now is the time to force them to answer for their crimes in front of the media, and in front of a jury.
I repeat my message to Zerby:
You have the blood of countless young people on your hands, you and the leaders that cover for and protect the abusers. I will do everything in my power to see that you face accountability and justice. I will do everything I can to see you in a docket before a jury answering the allegations of abuse against you and The Family’s criminal leadership. IF you want negotiation, you are now going to come to us on OUR terms.
Daniel Roselle (Albatross)(reply to this comment) |
| | From exister
Thursday, February 10, 2005, 14:54
(Agree/Disagree?)
I find it surprising that anyone would accept The Family's attempts to frame this conflict in terms of God, Christ and broad religious themes.
Anyone in The Family that wants to "serve God" has every right to do so. The pressing question is: where did you get the idea the you need The Family to serve God?
I was recently speaking to one of my relatives about my parent's current membership in the cult, and it struck me that most Christians assume that a church or religious organization moves money from itself and into the hands of it's missionaries. As we all know the Family is more like a pyramid scheme than a supportive religious organization. For this reason it should be obvious that anyone who sincerely wants to serve God could certainly do it more effectively by severing all ties with the Family. From a strictly functional "service of God" perspective the Family is nothing more than a chronic moral and legal liability that drains your resources. Why not keep that 14%, grab your Bible and go be a missionary?
Of course those of us who have thought about it have long since realized that the Family is about serving to about the same degree that the Mob is about a bunch of friendly Italian Americans sitting around drinking coffe and eating cannolis. The fact is that the Family is about presenting the ruse of service to God in order to perpetuate it's mentally debilitating ideology and cover for it's criminal history.
Let this be perfectly clear: Any current members of the Family who wish to be servants of the Christian God should leave the Family now before it's crimes taint them permanently!(reply to this comment) |
| | from More frm Peter
Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 11:45
(Agree/Disagree?)
Notice from Peter – January 27, 2005
(MO site announcement #7)
Dear Family,
Mama and I love you and are so proud of you! You are fighters! We’ve been reading more of the latest posts on myconclusion.com and have been thrilled at all you’ve written. You express your love for the Family, your convictions, and your faith in such an honest and heartfelt manner. It’s a wonderful way for you to tell the world the truth about the Family. Anyone who wants to know what the Family is all about just needs to read what you have written to get a clear picture that the Family is very different than what is portrayed in the press and through the mouths of our detractors.
I’m sorry I haven’t been able to send you an update for a while, as Mama and I have been traveling. We’d like to start by thanking you for your prayers for us. We feel them, we need them--in fact, we count on them. Your prayers keep us going, and we are extremely grateful for them.
Angela’s memorial was held Saturday, January 22. Her relatives, friends, and members of the Family attended. Here is a short report written by someone who was there:
The funeral was a very inspiring time, although difficult for everyone involved. It was a small gathering, with Angela’s immediate family and some of our local Family members, as well as a close friend of hers that she was living with when she went to be with the Lord.
The funeral was a wonderful testimony of people coming together to comfort and strengthen one another at a time when nothing could make much sense. Ricky's aunt and uncle attended, at the invitation of Angela's brother and his wife, and everyone was so very thankful that the Family members could come and share the time of memorial for Angela with them.
Many of those attending got up and shared stories or memories of Angela, and it was very touching. I was able to read the beautiful eulogy from you, Mama and Peter, as well. A Family member who knew Angela well shared about how she actually saw Angela after her death, and she described her and what she did and how it brought such peace to her to see Angela so happy. Afterwards, Angela's sister-in-law went up to the girl and asked her more about her seeing Angela.
It was very comforting for Angela’s relatives to hear from those of us in the Family about the years that she spent with us. It helped them a lot to fill in the gaps of the years they hadn't seen her, and to hear how happy she had been. It was key to helping them find closure and peace about Angela's passing.
We spent many hours talking with all of them and reminiscing about the way Angela was—never anything but loving and giving. That is what everyone who knew her talked about. Her loving ways are what live on in everyone's hearts.
A local Family member sang the song "White Sails" at the memorial, and it was just beautiful. We also did a slide show of pictures of Angela through the years, accompanied by some of her favorite songs and songs about Heaven. We shed many tears together, but through them all, we could see Angela's beaming smile in every single photo. The memorial was a testimony of the love she lived.
The Catholic priest that gave the sermon spoke of that verse, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends," and he expounded upon it, explaining how every minute, every hour, every day, every time we choose to spend it in giving to others, we are laying down our lives for our friends, especially at times when we just don't feel like it. It was a sweet sermon.
Another wonderful miracle was that there was heavy snow that day that made it almost impossible to drive anywhere, so even though we were expecting some media to show up, thankfully they didn’t. Angela’s family and relatives were able to have a very sweet and peaceful memorial and time to say goodbye to dear Angela. It's sad that the media and others have tried to discredit Angela's reputation, but all of those that knew her know what a wonderful, caring, loving person she was.
God bless the local Home who helped get things together for the reception afterwards. They prepared some delicious platters of food that everyone was able to enjoy as they fellowshipped together. Angela's family was able to have time to talk to more Family members and to hear even more wonderful things about their loved one who has gone on.
Please pray for Angela’s family as they have recently lost their father, and their mother is not well. Angela's sister-in-law is fighting cancer as well. Angela only has one brother, and he is the dearest man, and is probably the one bearing the most of these burdens. I'm sure they'd appreciate our prayers.
Angela’s relatives expressed their thankfulness for the Family and the support and help we were to them during this time. (End of report.)
There is a beautiful memorial web site for Angela, which you can find on line at Angela-Smith.org, which includes pictures, eulogies, and testimonies. There are also numerous testimonies, stories, and comments from the many who knew and loved her in the myconclusion.com postings. I can barely keep from crying when I read the beautiful things you have said about her. While we know she is enjoying her heavenly rewards, still she is missed by the many who knew and loved her.
Throughout this past week there have been a number of newspaper articles around the world dealing mainly with the events of the tragedy. There have been a few TV shows, which have aired clips of Ricky’s video. Some shows have been balanced in that they give both sides to the story; others have only echoed the apostates’ spin on things.
Over the next few days there will be further TV shows in the U.S. We anticipate that they will be negative. Once they air and we get a report from those who have seen the shows we will give you an update.
We trust that you have received the two GNs on the Ricky/Angela topic—the first one being a compilation of MO site notices. Mama is busy working on two other ones, which we hope to get to you fairly soon—one on the topic of the media, and the other is a compilation of new encouragement promises for persecution. We’ll also write soon with a further update about the TV shows and about our apostates’ latest tack.
In the meantime, please continue to fight with us through prayer.
--Please pray especially for the media teams who are on the front lines of this battle, who stand up for all of us and for the truth. It’s a tough, exhausting job. So pray for their strength, wisdom, stamina, encouragement, and eloquence.
--Please also pray for Mama and me, and all of those who are working to plan and fight this battle.
--Pray that the authorities will see this for what it is: A concerted effort on the part of a handful of apostates to stir them to action against the Family.
--Pray that the publicity will not affect your witnessing efforts and outreach, which is something the Devil would love to see happen, but that it will instead enable us to witness and spread the truth like never before.
Please keep doing the job, dear Family. Don’t let these events distract you from doing that which is most important--reaching the world with the message of salvation. That’s what we’re all about, and the Enemy’s main goal in all of this is to stop us from doing the job. He knows we are reaching the lost, ripping many from his clutches, and he hates us for it. He knows we are getting stronger, we’re preparing to move forward like never before, and therefore he’s fighting us now to stop us, to try to defeat us. So fight back! Get out there and witness! Keep winning the lost! Keep preaching the message! Keep moving forward! If we witness, we win! Our Enemy’s defeat is sure.
Love,
Peter
The keys create within your spirit a deep reservoir of willpower, determination, and strength that will empower you to forge ahead to victory no matter how tough the fight or how long the battle.
Call upon the keys of revelation and foresight to reveal the devices and plans of those who seek your demise. The keys will lay a straight path before you that you may be preserved from every evil work.
Call on the keys of truth that will reveal My mighty hand and expose the lies of the Enemy. The keys of truth can break through any barrier. It may take time, but they will not fail.
Call on the keys of intervention, and I will hold back the powers of apostasy and confuse the plans of your enemies.
The keys of the Kingdom will help you to see people and situations with My eyes, in a spirit of faith and trust.
(reply to this comment)
| from onlooker
Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 10:07
(Agree/Disagree?)
Sorry, it should read: "so they wouldn't have the baby till they were almost 16."
(reply to this comment)
| from onlooker
Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 10:03
(Agree/Disagree?)
Saying that all sexual contact between adults & minors was stopped in 1986 is totally rediculous.
The way I remember it I was at the PI TTC in 1987 when "uncle" Josiah was explaining to us why a 14 yr old teen girl K. was VERY pregnant when the rules at the time were "no sex for seminating & menstruating teens until 15." Incidently I happened to be in the room when a young teen girl was talking to her shepherdess saying that she liked K. but was having a trial that her father was the father of the baby. This man is still a very prominent member of WS even now.
Josiah's explaination was that K. had permission from Berg & Zerby to "share" with the adults in her home since she was living at Mariannes & therefore would not be seen in public & it wouldn't cause persecution which had been the reason that Berg made the rule in the first place.
I think someone already posted the excerpt of the Berg letter on this site. Berg & Zerby had a conversation in the letter saying that there shouldn't be any reason that non seminating or menstruating teens couldn't have sex but once they were menstruating or seminating they should learn to do other things besides full intercourse. He also said that he tells the adult guys in his home not to get their manliness close to the teen girls so as to cause any of them to get pregnant until they are 15 but any other types of loving & fondling is fine. The reasoning for was that if they got pregnant when they were 15 they wouldn't have the baby till they were almost 17 which would be much more acceptable to "the System"
I remember going to India after the TTC in 1987 because of the Philippine persecution which is why I am so sure what year it was. The teen training handbook came out while I was in India as well as the Mene series which talked about Mene having love up time with the adults in the home. Nothing was ever said about no contact with minors. I do remember a circular coming out sometime after that from Sara which was a BAR pub but as someone else said none of the teens in the home were told the nature of the letter or that policies had now changed so how were we supposed to know? The letter "Make it work" also came out after 1986 for sure. I think it was 1988 or 1989 & I'm sure many of you remember the letter talked about adults having sex with one of the teens getting married on their wedding night to show them how to do it while the other one watches. I was terrified by this & was extremely worried. I remember very clearly (in late 1988) an adult man telling me that when I got married to call him because he would be happy to show me the ropes on my wedding night. If you recall Berg was talking about 15-18 yr olds getting married in that letter so if an adult was supposed to show them the ropes in bed & coach them on their wedding night, that really doesn't sound like no contact with minors. Now they just want to change history & say that it was all minors when at the time it had a very different meaning & age qualification as we all know. I have some DB's somewhere so I'll have to go check out the dates on those letters. If anyone else finds the letters in question pls let me know.
(reply to this comment)
| from onlooker
Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 10:03
(Agree/Disagree?)
Saying that all sexual contact between adults & minors was stopped in 1986 is totally rediculous.
The way I remember it I was at the PI TTC in 1987 when "uncle" Josiah was explaining to us why a 14 yr old teen girl K. was VERY pregnant when the rules at the time were "no sex for seminating & menstruating teens until 15." Incidently I happened to be in the room when a young teen girl was talking to her shepherdess saying that she liked K. but was having a trial that her father was the father of the baby. This man is still a very prominent member of WS even now.
Josiah's explaination was that K. had permission from Berg & Zerby to "share" with the adults in her home since she was living at Mariannes & therefore would not be seen in public & it wouldn't cause persecution which had been the reason that Berg made the rule in the first place.
I think someone already posted the excerpt of the Berg letter on this site. Berg & Zerby had a conversation in the letter saying that there shouldn't be any reason that non seminating or menstruating teens couldn't have sex but once they were menstruating or seminating they should learn to do other things besides full intercourse. He also said that he tells the adult guys in his home not to get their manliness close to the teen girls so as to cause any of them to get pregnant until they are 15 but any other types of loving & fondling is fine. The reasoning for was that if they got pregnant when they were 15 they wouldn't have the baby till they were almost 17 which would be much more acceptable to "the System"
I remember going to India after the TTC in 1987 because of the Philippine persecution which is why I am so sure what year it was. The teen training handbook came out while I was in India as well as the Mene series which talked about Mene having love up time with the adults in the home. Nothing was ever said about no contact with minors. I do remember a circular coming out sometime after that from Sara which was a BAR pub but as someone else said none of the teens in the home were told the nature of the letter or that policies had now changed so how were we supposed to know? The letter "Make it work" also came out after 1986 for sure. I think it was 1988 or 1989 & I'm sure many of you remember the letter talked about adults having sex with one of the teens getting married on their wedding night to show them how to do it while the other one watches. I was terrified by this & was extremely worried. I remember very clearly (in late 1988) an adult man telling me that when I got married to call him because he would be happy to show me the ropes on my wedding night. If you recall Berg was talking about 15-18 yr olds getting married in that letter so if an adult was supposed to show them the ropes in bed & coach them on their wedding night, that really doesn't sound like no contact with minors. Now they just want to change history & say that it was all minors when at the time it had a very different meaning & age qualification as we all know. I have some DB's somewhere so I'll have to go check out the dates on those letters. If anyone else finds the letters in question pls let me know.
(reply to this comment)
| from more from WS
Saturday, January 22, 2005 - 12:55
(Agree/Disagree?)
Notice from Peter -- January 22, 2005.
Dear Family,
God bless you! We love you and appreciate you so much. You are in our prayers and we are very thankful for yours .
Since the last update a number of things have come up which we want to keep you informed about. We’re sorry that some of this is unpleasant news, but it’s important that you know the state of things so you can both pray and understand. Since some of the details in this update are rather gruesome, please stop and claim the keys for peace and faith before reading any further.
As you know, Ricky filmed a video of himself the evening before killing Angela. It’s a very disturbing, profanity filled, 45-minute video, in which he talks about his hatred of Mama, Dad, me, and the Family. He talks about his past in the Family, his desire to find and kill Mama and me and his thoughts of suicide.
He also talks about his plan to gather information in order to find Mama’s location, and about plans to torture Angela into giving him this information. He shows the various weapons and instruments he intends to use for this. He displays and talks about his knife, which he had specially sharpened, and says it’s only “for one purpose, and that is taking out the scum…”. He also displays and talks about his semi-automatic handgun, spare magazines of which he loads throughout much of the video.
Following is a quote from the San Francisco Chronicle written by a reporter who had viewed the video: “Rodriguez also displays a large Kabar knife along with duct tape, a drill and a soldering iron he intended to use as implements of torture. Tucson police Detective Ben Jiminez said Smith was stabbed several times in the arm, indicating that she put up a struggle before Rodriguez slit her throat, but said there was no evidence that she was tortured."
Thank the Lord that despite the terrible circumstances surrounding Angela's death, we know that our Husband delivered her, and she now has peace and eternal happiness in Heaven. Also, in the new GN which will be coming to you soon, our Husband talks about Angela’s last moments, and the wonderful miracles He did for her. We know you will find it comforting.
There continue to be some newspaper articles in the U.S. about the incident and the Family, reporters in England and Japan are calling Family spokespersons for interviews as well.
The television media is now focusing on the story. There was a U.S. program that devoted about 10 minutes to it on CNN, a five minute spot on one of the morning shows, and a Spanish speaking program which was broadcast in the U.S. and Mexico. A number of other shows have called asking our U.S. spokespersons to participate in upcoming programs. So we can expect that over the next few weeks there will continue to be television shows about the Family.
Most of these shows, while mentioning Angela’s murder at the hand of Ricky, will probably be focused on child abuse. This is the issue that the antagonistic apostates who are fueling the media campaign and are appearing on the TV shows are focusing on. They are making a number of false claims, namely that Mama and I have never apologized for any problems along these lines that occurred in the past, and that we never acknowledged that it had happened in the past. They are also insinuating that it’s an ongoing problem within the Family. They are wrong on all three accounts. At the end of this update I will include those apologies, which were written at various times since 1993. Mama and I stand by those apologies.
One matter of concern to us is that these TV shows could stir up authorities to raid Family Homes, similar to how the same false accusations of abuse of children caused the raids and imprisonment and the taking of our children in the early '90s. Some of the active apostate former members who are fueling the media campaign claim that this isn’t their goal, and that they don’t wish for it to happen—however, they have no control of the outcome.We must all pray desperately that it doesn’t go that far.
On Wednesday, some Family young people put up a web site at www.myconclusion.com which is a platform for second-generation Family members to post theirs—and others—thoughts on all of the recent happenings. It’s wonderful to hear what you second generation Family members have to say about the events of the past days, and about your lives in the Family. We’re very proud of you for standing up and telling the world how you feel. It’s really great. If you have a chance to get online and read the responses on that site, I think you'll find it very inspiring.
The handful of second generation former members detractors who are speaking ill of the Family apparently have no idea that there are over 1,800 of you second generation members over the age of 18 who are disciples, who are ready to stand up and fight for your faith and religious freedom. They can’t seem to understand that you are happy to be in the Family. They can’t seem to get it that you are in the Family of your own free will, that you have chosen to serve the Lord in the Family, and that you have a desire to help mankind through your service to God.
In reading over the posts on this new web site, Mama and I were very impressed not only with your conviction, but also the comments you made in regards to our many former members who are not part of this latest media campaign, and don't care to be. A number of you expressed your respect and love for those who have left the Family and who have built a new life. This is how Mama and I feel as well.
And, while we must fight back against the verbal attacks of a few of our former members, those that we consider apostates and who have openly declared that they want to destroy the Family and what we stand for, the vast majority of former members do not fall into that category, as I mentioned in "The Next Focus in the Battle." The majority of those who have left the Family have the same respect for your choice to remain as you do for their choice to leave. Our hope is that those of you in the Family and the level headed former members can somehow help the media, the authorities and the general populace to understand that a relatively small number of people who are angry and bitter about their time in the Family are fueling this media war with the goal of destroying the Family, but they don’t speak for all of you.
One last point in regards to former members: We have said, and many of you who knew Ricky while he was in the Family have confirmed, that Ricky did not express hatred towards the Family or his mother or his Family life while he was a member. We have explained that through his contact with some apostate former members he took on much of their bitterness and hatred, which brought about such tragic results. In saying this we don’t mean to infer that all former members contributed to his downfall. That's not the case at all. We know that some of those who knew him understood that he was angry and making threats, and they tried to help him to see that he was heading down the wrong road. We know that some sincerely tried to help him get over his anger and to move on with his life. We want to thank those former members who tried to help him. Even though he left the Family and eventually wanted nothing to do with us and made threats against us, he was still our son, we loved him, and we’re grateful to any and all who tried to help him.
Thank you, dear Family, for your many notes, web postings, prophecies and words of love and comfort that you have sent to Mama and me. They have been a source of encouragement to us. It’s painful to lose a child and a dear friend, especially under such circumstances. We’re very thankful that you continue to uphold us in your prayers, because without them it would be much more difficult.
A number of you have asked how Mama is coping with all of this, so I asked her, and here’s what she said: “This is of course a difficult time, as my son, whom I loved dearly, has killed someone who was like a sister to me, and has taken his own life. I have felt deep sadness at their deaths.
“Angela was a dear friend of mine for close to 30 years. For the many years she lived with us she was Ricky’s friend as well. She lived a beautiful life, one full of love and service for those around her and for God. While I am sad about no longer having her here with us on Earth, I know that she’s enjoying Heaven, so that brings me happiness.
“Ricky was my son, but I never knew him as Ricky. At the beginning of his teen years he chose to go by the name Pete, a name which he kept until leaving the Family when he was 25. Pete was a wonderful boy—charming, fun to be with. I loved him and he loved me. We enjoyed each others company.
“He left our Home, as a Family member, to go to the mission field. I was proud of him for that. That was the Pete I knew.
“In time he decided to leave the Family. He started to communicate with apostate-type former members, including James Penn. It was then that he became Ricky. He started to write terrible things about me and about the Family. I had read things that were very similar before, in letters James Penn and others had written. He was beginning to take on the complaints of others. Pretty soon his letters were filled with foul language, language that Pete hadn’t used, but Ricky did. Next came the threats.
While I loved Ricky because he was my son, I was deeply saddened at what he had become. The young man who made a foul-mouthed video saying how he wanted to kill me and how he planned to kill Angela, was not the Pete that I had last seen. He was someone very different. He was Ricky, someone who had changed drastically and had taken on the attitudes of those who wished to use him to their own ends.
“I know I wasn’t a perfect mother; no mother is, but during the nearly twenty five years Pete lived with me he was a sweet boy, a loving boy, someone who was happy, who was well adjusted, who had a zest for life. That was my Pete. He became Ricky when he began to rub shoulders with hostile apostates.
“The video he made shows what a tortured soul he had become. This was very difficult to see. What he did was a terrible and seemingly unforgivable thing. I know however, that Jesus died for our sins, no matter how horrible the sin. Jesus died for Ricky, too. I know Jesus forgives Ricky and I know that Angela, who is now in Heaven and wonderfully happy, forgives Ricky, and I forgive him too.”
With the prospect of negative TV coverage on the horizon, we anticipate some difficult days ahead. However, we know that prayer is powerful, and that as we use the unbeatable force of praise, claim the keys of victory, and stand on the Lord’s promises, that He will protect us, keep us, and move us forward. So please keep praying, keep fighting, and keep doing the job of reaching the world with His love and salvation.
Love,
Peter
Today, when looking at the myconclusion web site I came across a posting from someone in WS who lived with us when Ricky did. I felt it would be helpful for you if I included it here. It’s not that this one is superior to what the rest of you have written, it’s just that this one gives a clear picture of what Ricky was like when he lived with us, in contrast to what he became after leaving.
Ricky was my friend!
My name is Amie, I’m 26 years old, and I just wanted to say a few words about the recent Ricky and Angela murder/suicide “nightmare.”
It’s unbelievable! I knew both Ricky and Angela, so it’s pretty close to home. Ricky was always a very nice guy, and I liked him a lot. I lived in the same Home with him and his wife—and Ricky’s mother—for over two years, between June 1997 and early 2000. He was a nice, kind, friendly guy. But sometime after he left and apparently got into contact with a small group of people who seem to have a vendetta against The Family, he started speaking against his mother and against the Family, and getting into violence and all kinds of horrible things.
Here is an excerpt of a note that I sent to Ricky’s mother in 2002, after Ricky had started threatening to kill her and “take down” The Family:
“I wanted to write you, because I have been very saddened to hear some of Ricky's stories about you and Peter, about the Family, and even what he has indirectly said about me, one of his former friends. Because I lived with him almost the entire time he and Elixer were living with you, it's shocking to hear the things he's now saying. He's talking about the same time period I know. I was there. I lived in the same house, ate the same food, participated in the same activities, and saw the same things he did.
“I can't believe the things Ricky is saying about you. You have always been loving, kind, understanding and accepting of me, and I've seen you treat others the same. You've treated me like your own daughter in many ways, and right from the beginning I've always felt accepted—not because of what you could get out of me, but just because you loved me. If you had wanted someone you could have gotten more mileage from, someone you could "manipulate," someone who would have been more skilled in what you needed, you would have found someone else. But instead you had patience with me, teaching me what I needed to know to help you, and always believed that I could reach my potential. I'll always treasure the times I've been with you, what I've learned from you, and the love I've felt.
“I saw the love you had for Ricky, too; you spent time with him, you talked with him, you walked with him, you invited him to your room for dinner with you, and so much more. He always looked happy to see you, to be around you, and I could tell that you loved him. To tell you the truth, I often wondered what it would have been like to be in his shoes, to be able to spend special time with you—or to have the blessing of living with my mum again, and being able to spend special time with her. And to know that he now says that he never felt any love from you … I just can't do the subject justice!
“I was happy to get to know and live with Techi, too, and during the time I lived with her, and in my recent communications with her, I've known her to be happy, well-adjusted, smart, friendly, and gifted. She's a skilled teacher and a good mother, which is something I admire in her; just seeing Trevor and how smart and talented he is, is proof of this. She had the same upbringing, opportunities, and education as Ricky. She's happy and working to achieve her goals in life, while it seems Ricky has chosen to look on his past very differently.
“Ricky was a good friend of mine—and even though I'm not happy with what he's doing and the things he's saying, I still love him. When I first came to live with you, he and Elixer were the first ones who befriended me. They invited me to do things with them, they confided in me. Ricky told me what he thought and we had a lot of good conversations. Never once did he tell me, or even hint, of some of the things he is now saying. I knew he had a difficult time with some doctrines, and especially prophecy, but I never once felt that he didn't love you, or didn't feel your love for him.
“He also always spoke very highly of Grandpa (Father David). He would talk with a big smile on his face about the happy memories of his childhood—the fun things he did with Grandpa, the things Grandpa taught him, and how much he loved him. So to hear him now saying such opposite things, even about Grandpa, is shocking, and I just can't make sense of it. He also always spoke in very high regard about Peter, that he was so happy he was able to marry you, and that he couldn't think of a better person he would want to take care of you and help to lead The Family. Why does he now feel so differently?
“I don’t know much about his earlier years, because I didn't know him or you then, but if he received as much love from you in those years of his life as I saw him receive during the years I knew him, then that to me would seem a very enviable childhood. Although I imagine you weren't able to be with him 24 hours a day, and had others who helped you care for him, what career women these days have that luxury? Most mothers put their children in day care, school, or have babysitters (or a combination) so that they can pursue their careers. You had a career too, but unlike most working mothers, at least you were always at home, always on call, and very attuned to his needs.
“I always considered Ricky to be sociable, diplomatic, and well educated. When I was with him, I felt like I was in the presence of a smart man—certainly smarter than me in many respects. He appeared to have excellent writing, speaking, and communication skills. He knew how to express himself; he had an extensive vocabulary, and always impressed me in that way. He seemed to have an aptitude to learn, and retained most everything he heard, saw, or read. He was always a gentleman—kind, courteous, and amiable. I'm surprised that in many of the things he writes now, he uses foul language and vulgar terminology. That's certainly not the Ricky I knew.
“I recently visited my family, and it was a special time we all enjoyed. As you know, I have nine brothers and sisters, and most of them are no longer in The Family. We are still all very close, though, and love each other. I'm thankful that we are able to respect each other's decisions. They respect that I have chosen to be in The Family, and I respect their decisions to have chosen a different life. I appreciate almost more than anything their love and acceptance of me and what I've chosen to give my life to, even though they don't agree with everything I believe in or all the doctrines or theology of the Family.
“I’m proud of all of my brothers and sisters (and stepbrothers and sisters) who have gone on to do really good things—chefs, joining the police force, architecture, photography, etc. Some of them have decided to continue their studies, and others have integrated into the work place, and seem to be excelling for the most part.
“Well, I’m getting off the subject. All that to say, I don't understand why Ricky is saying so many untruths about you. I wish he would just get on with his life and engage in some sort of evangelistic work, winning souls and telling people about the simple love of Jesus. Or else do something worthwhile and for the good of mankind. All of the other issues, doctrines, beliefs, and all the rest, are so unimportant when it comes to what really matters. At least The Family is winning souls and witnessing. All doctrinal issues aside, we're obeying Jesus’ call to "Go into all the world and preach the Gospel." I wish Ricky would do the same, and I pray that he does.
“I'm praying for you. I'm sorry for the sadness the things Ricky says must bring you. Having a child of my own now, I can imagine how crushing it would be if I were in your place. But I know the truth. I know you and Peter are sincere, loving, and most of all dedicated to Jesus and helping The Family to fulfill our mission. I'm thankful for you, and I'm praying for your health and happiness.” (End of my note to Mama.)
It’s shocking to me how Ricky changed from a nice guy to a cold-blooded murderer. It’s just unfathomable. But I guess we all have to make decisions in our lives, and sadly he definitely made some really wrong ones.
As for Angela, she was a wonderful woman, and such a kind soul—always giving and sharing. She didn’t deserve this one bit, and if it weren’t for my belief in Heaven and knowing she’s in a better place, I’d probably feel very sad and bitter about the whole thing. But I know she’s probably happier now than she’s ever been before, and I know she wouldn’t want us to be sad. She was one of those people who was always smiling, always happy—sort of like a ray of sunshine in your life.
It saddens me that some of the media and a few antagonistic apostates are using this tragedy to their own ends. I find it ridiculous that The Family has to address issues of child abuse, yet again, when we have already been through enough court cases to last us a lifetime. Believe me, I know exactly what The Family’s like, because I’ve been in it for over 26 years. If it was anything but safe, I wouldn’t be here, and I certainly wouldn’t be raising my son here. The only abuse I ever suffered as a child was when I was taken away from my parents in pre-dawn raids by the Australian authorities (department of community services) in May, 1992, along with a number of other Family children—only to be returned a week later when they found out that we were normal, well-adjusted, happy children.
I’m truly sorry for those former members from the second generation of The Family who had bad things happen to them in their childhood, and are now speaking against The Family. I can’t say if their stories are true or false, because I wasn’t there. But one thing I do know is that stuff happens in all of our lives—sometimes good and sometimes bad—and we go on. In the end, if we let the experiences make us better rather than bitter, we actually come out on top. So it seems completely illogical for these people to try and hurt the lives of hundreds of the perfectly happy Family members today, people who are actually helping people and doing good in over a hundred countries, just because of their personal troubles. How is hurting people in The Family today going to make their life any better? Are they forgetting that the Family is made up of real people, real mothers and fathers, and real children?
When thinking about the small minority who are speaking out against The Family, I’m reminded of the story in the Bible, in the Book of Acts, when Peter and the apostles were brought before the high counsel for their preaching, and the high priests “took counsel to slay them.” Then Gamaliel, a doctor of the law, said, “Take heed to yourself what ye intend to do as touching these men. … Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought: But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God” (Acts.5:34-39).
If the work of the Family was as bad as some people say it is, then it will come to nothing without anyone’s help. But since our work is good and Godly and making a difference in the world, we’re not going to be stopped. I’m sure that just as day follows night, that storm will blow over in time and the truth will be heard. And until that time, there are many dedicated and sincere individuals within the Family who know beyond a shadow of a doubt that giving our lives in service to Jesus is our lives calling, and we will go on helping others, and telling people about Jesus and His love, no matter what happens. I and my husband, for sure, will not be dissuaded. We wouldn’t want to live any other kind of life.
I think that what some people don’t understand about The Family is that it’s not about Maria David or Peter Amsterdam, or Father David before them. Our group is not about any one person, or any special group of people. It’s all about serving Jesus and others. It’s all about personal faith and conviction. Each of us has a personal relationship with and connection with Jesus. He speaks to us every day. So, no matter what happens to the structure or leadership of The Family, everyone I know is going to keep on living the way they do today. We’re going to keep on witnessing and doing what we can to make the world a better place.
The Family is different. We’re not mainstream. There’s no doubt about that. But there’s nothing wrong with being different; in fact, in my opinion, there’s everything right about being different. I know it’s not the life for everyone, but it’s the life for me. It feels so good to not live for a career, a house, a car, and all the frills. I know I’m privileged every time I think about Jesus, the spirit world, the afterlife, and everything spiritual that I believe in. I look at my friends within the Family and know that their support and love and care is something money could never buy. I consider my son and the safe, happy, loving life he’s going to lead for the next years of his life, and I know I couldn’t give him a better start.
I owe my dad and mum everything for my upbringing and childhood in The Family. I was never abused in any way. I had a wonderful life, a happy upbringing—and even though I had a few times that maybe weren’t that great, as every child does, those times shaped my character into what it is today. I’m sure that when my son grows up there might be some things he won’t particularly like about his life, but I’m confident he’ll know he was loved, well cared for, and given the best upbringing my husband and I could offer him.
I have no regrets and no complaints about my life—a life filled with love, happiness, true friends, a reason for living, and a religion that truly satisfies. If God had given me the choice to live any life I wished, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. I have been richly blessed.
_____________________________________
Official Apologies Tendered by Family leadership to Current and Former Family Members
Preface:
Since 1993, Family leadership has issued a number of official apologies to former and current Family members for any hurts, grievances or inappropriate treatment they may have been subjected to by other Family members. We have compiled these herein for the sake of current and former Family members who may not have read or recall reading these apologies. They are listed in chronological order. This is not meant to be all-inclusive, but rather highlights of published apologies.
_____________________________________
Regarding the Law of Love
We realize that there were instances in which some individuals did not always strictly follow the principles & guidelines of the Law of Love, & in some cases, some of these liberties unfortunately were used as an "occasion to the flesh."--Gal.5:13. If any of you were personally guilty of any unloving acts, we trust that you have sincerely asked the Lord to forgive you. If you haven't already, we're sure you'd also want to ask anyone you have offended to forgive you, providing they are in your Home or nearby in your area, & you're able to verbally apologize to them. We do not recommend that you write others about things of this nature. And if you were in a situation where you feel someone in the past was unloving to you, then we hope that you have sincerely forgiven them. "Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you."--Eph.4:32.
We are truly sorry if any of our members were hurt or offended in any way by someone who misapplied or in some way strayed from the strict guidelines of the Law of Love. We are sorry if anyone was stumbled or confused or embittered by any such actions in the past. The people who misused their freedoms--either intentionally or unintentionally--were literally breaking the Law, the Law of Love. And we cannot condone this, neither have we ever condoned it. However, even though some people may have misused the freedoms granted under the Law of Love that does not negate the Scriptural truth & Godly principles behind it. (From: "Our Beliefs Concerning the Lord's Law of Love!", ML #2858, June 1993. World Services p.50-51)
________________________________________
Dad's Responsibility for the Family's Former Sexual Excesses
When Dad first introduced the concept of sexual freedom to the Family 20 years ago in 1974 with the Letter "The Law of Love," he did give some restrictive guidelines as to its use. They were, however, quite general and subjective instead of very explicit like our current rules are, which are clearly listed in the "Fundamental Family Rules."
With 20/20 hindsight we can look back and see that it would have been better to explain things more clearly. We should have anticipated potential problems and put in more stringent rules to keep them from happening, including prohibitions on all adult/minor sexual contact. By not having such restrictions in place, some people were able to act in ways that were harmful to others.
Because of the insight Dad gave into the Scriptures which granted us a great deal of sexual freedom, without clearly stated explicit restrictions that prohibited all sexual activity between adults and minors, it resulted in actions that caused harm to some children. He must therefore bear responsibility for the harm. Today it's easy to see that it was wrong not to put explicit restrictions in place earlier, but Dad didn't see the need for such explicit rules when he first introduced sexual freedoms.
Some young people were hurt by inappropriate sexual behavior on the part of adults, and in 1986 he and I moved to ban all such conduct. We were firm and explicit in banning it, making it an excommunicable offense. In 1988, Dad went as far as to say he renounced all literature, including his own, that indicated in any way that sexual activity with minors was permissible. He clearly stated that any sexual activity between an adult and a minor was not to be tolerated and was grounds for immediate excommunication.
Hurtful Behavior Was Never Intended, and Is Apologized for
In 1986 after some of our young people complained about some adult sexual contact, Dad and I slammed the door on any and all such activity by making it an excommunicable offense. Our young people, our children, are very precious to us and we do not want to do anything at all that could possibly hurt or harm them. Again, in 20/20 hindsight, we should have had rules in effect much earlier that would have prevented any of our children from being hurt. We are sorry that we didn't and we're truly sorry if any of you young people were hurt as a result of it.
We regret that more restrictions, guidelines and safeguards were not in place during the Family's sexually freewheeling era of 1978 through the early eighties. So to anyone, young person or adult, who due to Dad or the Family's exploration of the Law of Love, feels that they were subjected to inappropriate sexual behavior of any kind, we sincerely apologize.
Also, we apologize to any of you young people who may have been harshly and unlovingly disciplined in the past. We have heard a number of testimonies of past excessive corporal punishment, prolonged "silence restriction" and/or isolation, as well as other means of discipline which some of you experienced, and we want to say that it pains us to hear such things. It was wrong, and we are truly sorry that any of you received any such treatment.
We've made it clear in a number of Letters, as well as in the Love Charter, that sexual or physical abuse of any kind are absolutely disallowed in the Family today. If you feel you suffered either of these in the past, we ask you to please accept our apologies. We have prayed and asked the Lord to forgive us for not doing more in the past to prevent any such behavior, and we ask you to forgive us too.
To any Family member or ex-Family member who feels he or she has suffered because of the effects of Dad's and the Family's exploration of the Law of Love, or for any mistreatment of any kind, by anyone, we say we are truly sorry and ask for your forgiveness.
Likewise, if any of you ex-members who may be reading this have had negative sexual experiences while with us, or you were treated unlovingly or harshly, either before or after you left the Family, we are sorry. Our goal is to be the Lord's Family of Love, so if you suffered unloving treatment from any Family member, we ask you to please forgive us. The Lord has been teaching us all a lot about how important it is that we are loving and kind with one another. As a Family, we are asking Him to help us to love Him and others more, for, without love we have nothing! So if we failed you in not being loving enough, please forgive us.
Why Dad Initially Failed to Impose Needed Sexual Restrictions
I've already explained that Dad ultimately bears responsibility, as he was the one who should have put stronger rules in place from the beginning. As the old saying about leadership goes, "The buck stops here." When you are the leader, you get the blame, as well as the credit. Like Dad said in "So You Want to Be a Leader," "You'd better enjoy being a buck private while you can--with very little worry or responsibility, credit or blame, cursing or fame. One of these days, you may be the general and have most of the work and nearly all the worry--and usually, all the blame! Just be a good follower, and be thankful that you don't have to do the leading, make the decisions, carry the burden of the responsibility, and suffer the blame!" (ML #31:19,20).
I lived with Dad for 25 years and knew him better than anyone else did. He had his shortcomings and sometimes made mistakes, but I know that Dad never intended to harm nor wanted harm of any kind to come to any member of our dear Family. He loved the Lord and the Family with all of his heart, soul, mind and strength, and would do anything for both. He also believed that for the most part all Family members felt the same about the Lord and the Family as he did.
So when the Lord revealed to him the sexual freedoms granted under the Law of Love, his hope was that Family members would understand the principles of loving and even sacrificial sharing, and would therefore be motivated by loving concern for others. Sadly, this wasn't always the case. Therefore, as the author of the Letters, he accepts the blame, but this doesn't mean that everyone else is completely blameless.
Anyone who attempted to use the Law of Love to justify any unloving, selfish or hurtful behavior is responsible before God for it. Throughout the years, especially in the area of adults sharing with one another, some people hurt others due to misapplication or misuse of our sexual freedoms. They acted in lust instead of love, their motives were selfish and unloving, and as such, they weren't following the primary guidelines given for the Law of Love.
Although the Lord has given us in the Family much freedom, there are, nevertheless, some restrictions. The Lord says clearly here that He, through Dad, has set some boundaries for us. He goes on to say that if we cross over those boundaries, it is sin. What are those boundaries? The boundaries that Dad put in place concerning sex were:
1) No sexual contact between adults and minors.
2) No male with male sexual activity.
3) No sex with outsiders.
4) No sex with new members until after their first six months in the Family.
5) Any sexual activity between adults must be done according to the Law of Love.
These rules are all precisely reiterated in the Love Charter.
What the Lord is saying is that if you break these rules, cross these boundaries, you are sinning. He said these boundaries were set up by Him. "The bounds that I have set, because I have set them, are the boundaries, and you are to go no further. For to go further is sin, for these are the boundaries that I have set."
What is it that gives us faith? The Word, right? "Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God" (Rom.10:17). So if the Word gives you faith for something, like it does for us to have sexual fellowship with other consenting adults, then you can engage in those activities without sin. However, when the Word says that you cannot do something, then you cannot have the faith to do it, because you would be acting in disobedience to God's Word. So to cross the boundaries the Lord, through His Word, has set up, is sin. (From: "An Answer To Him That Asketh Us!" (1Pet.3:15) --The Why's And Wherefore's Behind Ws's Letter To The Judge!, September 1995. ML #3016 World Services p. 15-21, 52-56, 62, 64-67, 85-87)
_______________________________________
Maria's Letter to the Family's Former Members
(Mama:) Since writing the above Letter, I have heard from Peter that not only is this a gathering of our TRF Supporter brethren, but that also in attendance are some of you former members. And of course I knew that I couldn't write a letter just to the TRF Supporter members and ignore you, the former members. Well, it's not that I couldn't, but I didn't want to! It's not very often, after all, that I have a chance to talk to you, to share my heart with you and to love you via my Letters.
I'm so thankful that Peter and Gary and Dust have had the opportunity to talk with you. Peter has spoken with me on the phone and briefly told me about some of the conversations that he has had with you and some of the others there, how his heart has broken for you, and how he has wept for you and with you.
I'm so sorry, my dear ones, for how you have suffered and for the difficult things you have experienced, both during the time you were in the Family and in recent years. I'm so sorry for how you have felt hurt and abandoned. It hurts me to think about how you hurt. It breaks my heart to see how your hearts have been broken. It pains me and I'm crying now to think how you have cried. I know there are times that you have felt alone and in despair and without hope. Questions, doubts, feelings of bitterness and resentment have overwhelmed you. You have questioned the love of the Lord, and the love of Dad, and me, and the Family.
I understand your feelings, and I don't condemn you. I don't think I can honestly say that I can completely fathom all that you have been through and experienced to bring you to the point where you are today. But I can honestly say that I'm so thankful you're there now with our Family and with Peter and Gary and Dust. I can honestly say that I love you, and they love you, and especially that the Lord loves you.
I'm not going to pretend that these three days that you have spent together with Peter and Gary and the brethren have healed all the hurts of the past, or completely renewed our fellowship and reconciled all our differences. But it is my prayer that it is at least a start, and that through this time of fellowship and communication and loving the Lord and each other, we will be on the road to greater unity and love and fruitfulness.
I know you love the Lord, and I believe you have some desire for fellowship with the Family, or you wouldn't be there at the TRF Supporter meeting. I only hope that in the days to come you will find what you need, and that we will be able to continue walking this road together toward greater communication, greater understanding, and forgiveness.
I've said this before to our TRF Supporters, and I'd like to say it to you former members as well, and that is that I am sorry for the way the Family has failed some of you in the past. I'm so sorry for the unloving behavior some of you experienced from some of our leaders and Family members. There are certainly many ways we could have done better. We could have been more tolerant, more accepting of other people's opinions. We could have practiced more teamworking in our earlier years. We could have listened to people's feelings with greater openness and been more human and willing to show ourselves weak. We could have been more ready to admit that we didn't have all the answers, that we were still learning. We could have been more gentle with some members who were weaker.
We could have done all these things, and we should have. I'm sorry--very sorry--for our past failures and mistakes and shortcomings, of which I know there are many that affected both you and our dear TRF Supporter members. Please accept my humble apology. I ask your forgiveness in the name of David and myself and the Family.
I was telling some of the Family the other day how the Lord has used our failings and shortcomings to teach the Family humility, to teach us brokenness and greater dependence upon Him. Yes, the Family has been blessed with some marvelous accomplishments. We've preached the Gospel around the world and won millions to His Heavenly Kingdom. But when you see all that could have been done, all that we had hoped would be done, and you read past MO Letters of all that Dad spoke of, you realize that we have fallen short in many ways.
But when praying about this, the Lord showed me that the most important thing, the greatest benefit or fruit that has come from these failures and shortcomings, is that the Family is now more humble and broken and dependent on the Lord. We now realize how weak we are and how much we need Jesus. We can't pat ourselves on the back and feel proud and strong because of our great accomplishments. We've made some good progress on many fronts, but in some cases it's not the progress nor success nor accomplishments that we had hoped for, or the fulfillment of all the ideals which Dad had written about in the Letters.
So, yes, I know the Family is not perfect, and we as a whole have gone through a lot of breakings and lessons and a time of training. In many ways we were children. But now, by God's grace, we have learned and matured and we have put away childish things. And the Lord has used it all to prepare us for what He has for us in the future. We who remain in the Family have had to put away our disappointments, our regrets, and the sadness we have felt because of our shortcomings and because we have not been all that we could have been or done all that we could have done.
I pray that as you leave this fellowship you will feel strengthened and renewed and that you will feel closer to the Lord and also to us.--That as you continue in your different ministries and walks of life, you will see His Love manifested more clearly, and you will have a renewed desire to serve Him to the best of your ability. I pray that your fellowship with the Family will be sweeter, and that through it you will find strength and encouragement. I pray that our bonds together as Christians will grow stronger, that the Love of Christ will constrain us in our interactions one with another, and that with time we will gain a greater appreciation one for another.
There is so much to do to win the world for Jesus, and we are not kidding ourselves by thinking that someone has to be in the Family, either as a DO member or a TRF Supporter, in order to serve the Lord and bring forth fruit for Him. If you haven't found it yet, I pray that each of you will find a place of service and a ministry that will bring you great satisfaction and joy and fulfillment in your lives. I pray that your children will be happy, healthy and strong in their love for you and the Lord. It must be very difficult being on your own without the immediate strength of brethren close at hand, but I know the Lord will lead and guide you and supply your needs, as you follow Him. I love you! I hug and kiss each one of you. God bless and keep you.
Love, Mama
(From: “Bridging The Gap!--Between DO And TS Family Members!” ML #3068, August 1996. World Services p. 100-110, 115-116)
__________________________________
An Open Letter to All Current and Former Family Members
Dear Ones,
Greetings in Jesus' name! Maria has asked me to write this open letter to you as part of our continued effort to help break down the walls of partition that have arisen between current and former Family members over the years. Throughout the Family's 28-year history, thousands of people have joined the Family as full-time members. Many of them, for a variety of reasons, have felt led to leave the Family and pursue other courses in their lives.
There is a great diversity in the way those previously in the Family feel about the Family and their time as members. Some look at their time in the Family as a positive experience, others as a negative one. Some wished to remain in contact with current Family members; others did not seek such contact. Some feel that the Family benefited their lives; others feel it was detrimental. Some have spoken out on the Family's behalf; others have spoken against the Family.
Because of past Family rules, up until a few years ago the Family did not actively seek to have contact with former members. For some former members this was a welcome relief, but for others it was a sign of abandonment. Over the last couple of years, and even more so in the past few months, we, the Family's leadership, have become painfully aware of the hurt that some former members have felt. We have looked for ways to heal the pain and rejection some former members have experienced and to reconcile with those who have been hurt. It is our hope to be able to further undo some of that hurt by apologizing to those who have been offended, and to continue to open channels of communication for any who wish to communicate with us.
The Family took a significant step toward a change of attitude vis-à-vis its former members in October 1993, when a dialogue was opened between former and current members.
From that time on, the Family has taken a number of steps to meet with former members and discuss ways to bridge the gap between them and current members. A toll-free number was set up for anyone wishing to communicate with the Family or desiring to locate friends or loved ones within the Family. A meeting was held in California in November 1993 between Family representatives and David and Mary Lou Hiebert (known in the Family as Zebedee and Zorah Rabbit, or "the Z's"), editors of the "No Longer Children" newsletter, a publication for former Family members. In time there were meetings between other current and former members, all of which began to lay the foundation for a mutual bond of trust, the basic building block for any kind of meaningful relationship.
In July 1996, in Laurel, Maryland, during a Family fellowship organized by some of the TRF Supporter Family, I, Peter Amsterdam, and Gary--together representing Maria, World Services and the Family's leadership--held various conversations with Sharon Wilson (known in the Family as Joanna Cook) and George and Woodie Terrel (known in the Family as Vessel and Lamb Harper). Sharon, George and Woodie are members of "Safe Haven," a communication and support network made up of former members of the Family. They were not attending this fellowship meeting as representatives of "Safe Haven" but as independent former members. We also spoke extensively with former member Happy Wotila (Joab). During this fellowship I read an open letter written by Maria to all former Family members, portions of which are included with this letter.
In October 1996, Dust and Simon (both members of the North American Continental leadership) and I met for two days in Jacksonville, Florida, with "Safe Haven" members Sharon and Pope Wilson (known in the Family as Jaakan Giant), George and Woodie Terrel, John and Linda Hardy (known in the Family as Nekoda and Bathshua) and Abraham Brosius. The purpose of this meeting was for all of us to gain a better understanding of one another, to explore ways to overcome past hurts and to find ways to prevent future problems and misunderstandings between current and former members, in an effort to heal the rift and establish a relationship of love and acceptance of each other as brothers and sisters in Christ.
During this meeting there was a healthy and spirited exchange of ideas, grievances, explanations and the like. All parties went away with a better understanding of the other's point of view, which seemed to draw us all closer together, having seen and heard each other's hurts, opinions and outlook…
We, the Family's leadership, have acknowledged that some former members were treated unfairly, harshly, and in an unloving manner, and we have officially apologized for this in a number of publications over the last few years. It is also understood that some former members have spoken out in the media against the Family, while others have actively campaigned for governmental action against the Family, all of which has resulted in Family members being harassed, Homes being raided and, in some cases, children being forcibly taken away from their parents at gunpoint.
There has been hurt on both sides. However, it's important to understand that not every Family member was responsible for or caused the hurt experienced by those who left the Family, just like not every former member was responsible for the trauma suffered by Family members and their children at the hands of the media and government authorities. It would therefore be best to avoid blaming either the Family as a whole, or former members in general, for the hurt and pain experienced on either side.
On several occasions, Family leadership has written and encouraged the Family to foster friendly and loving contact and communications with former members who likewise desire such contact.
As stated earlier, we clearly understand that some former members have had negative and hurtful experiences in the Family. We have apologized in written publications a number of times over the last years. However, you personally may not have received a copy of these publications. The following is an excerpt from one of those publications, written by Maria in September 1995:
"Likewise, if any of you ex-members who may be reading this have had negative sexual experiences while with us, or you were treated unlovingly or harshly, either before or after you left the Family, we are sorry. Our goal is to be the Lord's Family of Love, so if you suffered unloving treatment from any Family member, we ask you to please forgive us. The Lord has been teaching us all a lot about how important it is that we are loving and kind with one another. As a Family, we are asking Him to help us to love Him and others more, for without love we have nothing! So if we failed you in not being loving enough, please forgive us." (End of excerpt by Maria.)
The following is a portion of a letter written by Peter Amsterdam to a judge during a court case involving custody of a Family child in Britain in October 1995:
"Maria, Gary and myself and World Services acknowledge that any abuse of children is abhorrent, whether it be sexual abuse or other forms of abuse, and we are determined that the Family will be a safe environment for all our children and teens to be brought up in.
"We acknowledge that in certain places at certain times the Family has not been as safe an environment for them as it should have been. Over the last nine years, we have taken progressive steps to make it as safe as possible, and have apologized to those who have suffered harm, and we recognize this litigation and these communications as an opportunity to apologize again. We sincerely believe that the Family today is a safe place, and we have established safeguards to make sure it will remain so.
"Your Lordship has asked us to acknowledge that Father David, through his writings, was personally responsible for children in the Family being sexually abused. Father David wrote a series of Letters concerning sexual behavior. The judgment refers in particular to 'The Law of Love' and 'The Devil Hates Sex.' And we accept that as the author of ideas upon which some members acted to the harm of minors in the Family, he must bear responsibility for that harm. Maria, and all of us in World Services leadership, also feel the burden of responsibility. Maria in particular has done an enormous amount to put a stop to any sexual maltreatment of children and instituted strict safeguards to make sure it will never happen again.
"We acknowledge that it was wrong to proclaim a teaching of sexual liberty (i.e., in 1976 and 1978) without establishing clear rules to ensure that sexual contact did not take place between adults and children. Further, in 1980 Father David's statements in his discourse entitled 'The Devil Hates Sex' opened the door for sexual behavior between adults and minors, such sanctioning being a direct cause of later abusive behavior by some Family members at that time. In addition, we also acknowledge with regret that more specific and concrete restraints were not introduced earlier, and that Father David should have done so immediately upon receiving indications that problems were beginning to develop.
"The extension of the Law of Love to sexual matters was a unique contribution of Father David's to the Family, and we accept and acknowledge that he bears responsibility for what arose as a result of it. Among other things, we acknowledge that his beliefs and teachings led to the setting aside of ordinary sexual taboos and restraints, particularly between adults, and this significantly contributed to the development of an overly sexualized atmosphere in a number of Family communities, of which children were a part. Unfortunately, this further led to a number of children being subjected to sexually inappropriate behavior." (End of excerpt of Peter's letter to the judge in Britain.)
It is the Family's sincere hope that the differences, the hurts of the past, the distrust and anything else that divides current and former members can be overcome and forgiven, and that we all can accept one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. Our prayer is that anyone who wishes to contact and communicate with a current Family member will feel free to do so, and that such contact will be met with enthusiasm and love. If you have any questions about the Family or our current doctrines or practices, or if you wish to contact someone in the Family, please don't hesitate to call the 800 number or contact the e-mail address listed previously. We will do our best to answer your questions and to pass on your message to the one you are seeking. Those answering the phone do not have information as to the whereabouts of every Family member, but they will do all they can to contact the various major centers around the world in order to help locate the person you are looking for in order to give them your message.
We ask that you please understand that the Family is made up of thousands of individuals who are encouraged to act according to their own faith in all matters. It is our hope that each one would welcome communication with any former member who wishes to communicate or fellowship. However, this may not always be the case. If you are rebuffed by specific Family members, please do not consider that their actions reflect the whole Family's feelings or policy. We are trying to bridge the gap between current and former members, and we sincerely wish to do our part to heal any wounds or hurts. We ask for your understanding, forgiveness and cooperation in these matters.
God bless and keep you,
Peter Amsterdam
For Maria and the Family Leadership
(“An Open Letter To All Current And Former Family Members” (Excerpts) ML #3091, February 1996. World Services)
________________________________________
Reply to Allegations from a Former Member
ACCUSATION: It took Maria and Peter years to admit the obvious; sexual abuse of minors had occurred in the Family, MO was directly responsible for it, and that it is a sin in the eyes of God. Neither MO, Maria, nor Peter were ever truly sorry for advocating that adults have sexual contact with minors. They were terribly sorry, however, that after years the court forced them to publicly admit that MO was wrong, and responsible for the harm that children had suffered.
(Mama:) It is sad that issues that have been resolved for years are once again brought up, but because they have been, I will address them once again. Before doing so, I want to point out that the claim that Peter and I are not sorry for any hurt that happened to individuals in the Family is absolutely false. We are very sorry that anyone was hurt, and have publicly apologized and have asked for forgiveness in various Letters or other publications. (See the 1992 Statement on Child Abuse; "Our Beliefs Concerning the Lord's Law of Love," ML #2858:50-51, published in 6/93; "An Answer to Him That Asketh Us," ML #3016:18-20, 52-56, published in 9/95; Mama's Letter to Former Members in "Bridging the Gap," ML #3068:101- 108, published in 8/96; "An Open Letter to All Current and Former Family Members," ML #3091:3,10h,15-22, published in 12/96.)
If some choose not to believe or accept our apology, that is their prerogative, but God knows our hearts. We are sorry about anyone who has been hurt in any way during their time in the Family. Not only are we sorry, but we have established firm rules regarding sexual contact between adults and minors, making it an excommunicable offense in 1986. We have also included clear rules and punishment in the Charter to ensure that no harm of any kind related to sexual or physical abuse happens, and if it does, that those who caused it can be disciplined. Our apologies were not only words, but actions which have significantly changed the governance of the Family.
Let's remember that 14 years ago, in 1986, Dad and I banned all sexual activity between adults and minors. This was years before the Family was involved in large court cases, and therefore it cannot be said that we made this ban under pressure from the courts or the System. In 1988, again years before any court cases, sex with a minor became an excommunicable offense, and it very explicitly remains so in the Charter.
In 1988 we published the "Child Abuse?!" tract in which Dad made the definitive statement, "We do not approve of sex with minors, and hereby renounce any writings of anyone in our Family which may seem to do so! We absolutely forbid it!" This clearly showed Dad's stance regarding the matter.
Later, in the Letter "An Answer to Him That Asketh Us," we used the definitions of the words in that sentence in order to further clarify our position, so that it read: "We do not consider it right or good, we do not think or speak favorably of, nor do we officially [or unofficially] consent to, confirm or sanction sex with minors. As a result of this fact, I reject, disown, abandon and give up by open profession every single writing of any person in the Family which may appear to approve of it. Without condition or limitation, we command the Family not to indulge in sex with minors" (ML #3016:26).
In that same statement of 1988 Dad renounced all literature, including his own, that indicated in any way that sexual activity with minors was permissible. Based on his renunciation of such Family literature, he approved our lit purges, which expunged all such literature, no matter who it was written by, including his own. Dad didn't just renounce his old writings; he had them destroyed.
The Letter "Child Abuse: A Final Warning" was published in 1989, a few months after the 1988 Child Abuse statement came out. In it, we stated: "We've already put out an urgent notice to the Family and to the whole world that we don't do such things, and we mean it, we don't do it!--And anybody who does is in serious trouble, not only with the world but with us!" (ML #2536:10).
Also in 1989 the Letter "D.O. Is for DOers of the Word!" (ML #2531) was published, in which Dad listed the excommunicable offenses, including the following:
14. Sex with Minors
We do not advocate nor practice sex between adults and minors (someone who is under-age)...Any such practice is strictly forbidden within our group and anyone found guilty of such will be automatically and immediately excommunicated--totally severed from receiving any literature or from having any contact with the Family whatsoever. (Right!--D.)
Excerpt of LNF 121, sent out in 1989
10. "Whoso shall offend one of these little ones!"
…We want to reiterate that the "Child Abuse" tract was not only our official statement to the System but also our official statement to any Family members, part-time or otherwise, that any such practice is strictly forbidden within our group, and anyone found guilty of such will be automatically and immediately excommunicated --totally severed from receiving any literature or from having any contact with the Family whatsoever! (Right!--D.)
The preceding excerpts of Letters and statements make it obvious that we had definite rules against sexual contact between adults and minors since 1986. As I said in "An Answer to Him That Asketh Us," we should have had rules in effect much earlier that would have prevented any of our young people from being hurt. We didn't, and we're sorry we didn't because it made it possible for some young people to be hurt. Adult/minor sex has been an excommunicable offense for 12 years. Any sexual crossovers in the Family are considered sin and they remain an excommunicable offense, which will be disciplined according to the guidelines in the Charter. If you are aware of any type of sexual impropriety, you know what to do--report it! In fact, those who do not report such things are guilty as well and subject to the same discipline.
We've been accused of flip-flopping in our stance on adult/minor sex. We haven't. It is clear that 14 years ago, in 1986, Dad and I put a ban on any adult/minor sexual activity. In 1988, 12 years ago, we made it excommunicable and it has remained so since then. We made it quite clear that any such activity was wrong and not allowed within our communities. While the theological discussion may have continued, the fact is that any adult/minor sex was excommunicable. In 1995 the Lord spoke explicitly on the subject. Here is an excerpt from that GN:
As far as we're concerned, that's the final word on it. Any questions about whether adult/minor sexual contact is at all possibly permissible in theory or theologically were laid to rest. This overrides anything that was ever written suggesting otherwise. Once the Lord said it was sin, we announced it to the Family and that has been our stance since that time.
I want to emphasize this point, because I don't want any of you thinking that our stance on this issue is ambiguous. The Lord made it clear at the time of "An Answer to Him That Asketh us" that all adult/minor sexual contact is sin. We consider it as such. It is wrong and results in excommunication.
Everyone knows, and numerous courts acknowledge, that solid safeguards have been put into place to protect young people in the Family from abuse, and as such, they are no more likely to suffer abuse than young people in society at large. You who are in the Family know that for 12 years any sexual crossover has been grounds for excommunication; you also know that you need to protect your young people and all young people in the Family from any abusive situation. You know that our official stance is that any form of adult/minor sex is a sin. If you know of any infraction of the Charter rules taking place, it is your duty to report it. This is a resolved point.
Our detractors, however, continue to bring it up and try to document supposed wrongdoing on my and Peter's part. The facts stand. We've faced these accusations in many court cases and have won every time. We have admitted and apologized for the past, we have asked forgiveness, we have put strong rules in place, and we have moved on from all of this. My question is, why don't they?
Again, I want to apologize to any of those who have been hurt by any wrongdoing by anyone during their time in the Family. We ask your forgiveness. We have done all we can to prevent any such things happening again. The Family has changed, and even the judge who so strongly condemned some of the things that happened in the past officially stated in his written judgment that the Family is a safe place for children. (From: LNF 121:10) (“None Of These Things Move Me!” ML #3307, July 2000. World Services. p. 64-66, 80-86, 91-96, 122)
________________________________________
It is our prayer that this reconciliation process will continue to provide support and friendship to those making the transition from a close, communal, faith-based support system to an independent secular lifestyle.
If you have any questions or comments, we invite you to contact us at one of the following addresses:
The Family
2020 Pennsylvania Ave NW
PMB 102
Washington, D.C. 20006–1846
USA
E-mail: publicaffairs@thefamily.org
Or call in the USA at:
1 (800) 4–A–FAMILY [423–3264], or
1 (202) 298–0838
Web site: www.thefamily.org
The Family
Maxet House
Liverpool Road
Luton, LU1 1RS
England
E-mail: info@thefamilyeurope.org
(reply to this comment)
| | | | From Hanna_Black
Tuesday, January 25, 2005, 11:02
(Agree/Disagree?)
1986 my ass!!! The worst stuff happened to me AFTER that, and by the way, as a 10 year old, NOBODY EVER let me know that it was banned! How was I supposed to know that I could report it when I thought it was expected of me and was afraid of being spanked should I refuse! I thought it was banned with the charter, but "cuddle times" with naked weird uncles was still considered something as normal as "parent time" in the late 80's and early 90's when I was around! No one ever took me aside as a 9 or 10 year old (in 1990 and 1991) and said, "hey, sweetie. By the way, no one is allowed to try and masturbate on you, take you into their beds in the middle of the night or use you as a sex-play-toy till you are 18!"
1986 my ass!!!!(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From xolox
Tuesday, January 25, 2005, 10:46
(Agree/Disagree?)
Thank the Lord that despite the terrible circumstances surrounding Angela's death, we know that our Husband delivered her" -And of what exaclty did he deliver Angela? Strange that they find this God of theirs so mercifull, considering how he refused to deliver all the little kids from years of exploitation! Though with that particular brand of deliverance it's probably a good thing.
What can I say, I'm thrilled with this statement! Despite all the tangles of their circular rhetoric, this amounts to a Statement of Guilt. Do they truly have records of apologies going back that many years? Those are also explicit records of their knowledge of the abuse, and evidence of their inactivity regarding the matter.
"Most of these shows, while mentioning Angela’s murder at the hand of Ricky, will probably be focused on child abuse. This is the issue that the antagonistic apostates who are fueling the media campaign and are appearing on the TV shows are focusing on. They are making a number of false claims, namely that Mama and I have never apologized for any problems along these lines that occurred in the past, and that we never acknowledged that it had happened in the past. They are also insinuating that it’s an ongoing problem within the Family. They are wrong on all three accounts. At the end of this update I will include those apologies, which were written at various times since 1993. Mama and I stand by those apologies." So ones focus on child abuse makes one antagonistic, and an apostate. But note: Never can they claim that it never happened! Or that any of the claims in regard to abuse are false! How hypocritical do you have to be, to get to the point where you can find an inherent evil in the person who exposes evil, for that very exposition. (see Zerby, I can talk in circles too, the difference is that I make sence.) Once again there is a deliberate missing of the crucial point. We do not claim that sexual abuse is still rampant. We claim that it WAS, and that we WERE abused and exploited, and we demand an accounting. (and I'm sure the IRS is interested in an accounting of their own, but they'll have to wait in line.) Child labor however is still rampant, and so is the neglect. BTY, there are a lot of Jihad groups throwing the word "apostate" around as well, not a good time to start looking like a religious fanatic group with little regard for human beings! See here: " The Ansar al-Sunnah Army, one of Iraq's most active insurgent groups, claimed responsibility for the slaying. In a Web posting, the group called the judge "one of the heads of infidelity and apostasy of the new Iraqi government." Think about it...
NewsFlash: An apology is not concrete activity! It is a first step towards fruther action, not a cure-all. Do not think that because you throw around a few panicked "I'm sorrys" and "Jesus and I love you's", that the matter will dissipate. Your slaps to our collective face have been a whole lot more convincing!
"We've been accused of flip-flopping in our stance on adult/minor sex. We haven't. It is clear that 14 years ago, in 1986, Dad and I put a ban on any adult/minor sexual activity. In 1988, 12 years ago, we made it excommunicable and it has remained so since then. We made it quite clear that any such activity was wrong and not allowed within our communities. While the theological discussion may have continued, the fact is that any adult/minor sex was excommunicable. In 1995 the Lord spoke explicitly on the subject. Here is an excerpt from that GN:
As far as we're concerned, that's the final word on it. Any questions about whether adult/minor sexual contact is at all possibly permissible in theory or theologically were laid to rest. This overrides anything that was ever written suggesting otherwise. Once the Lord said it was sin, we announced it to the Family and that has been our stance since that time." What you have still failed to realize, is that not only is it a sin, IT IS A CRIME! Will this never get through? You may have "laid to rest" this notion of yours, but refuses to rest in peace! We have crawled back from the premature burial you have planned, covered in the dirt you flung on us, to point a finger AT YOU! We will not let you whitewash this. You say your wittings in 1886 override anything else you may have said, that may be so, but what it desn't do is absolve you of your past criminal activity. And let not even get into the semantics of your notion that God periodically changes His mind in terms of what is a crime or sin towards children, or anything else for that matter! It's just too ridiculous to entertain.
"Our detractors, however, continue to bring it up and try to document supposed wrongdoing on my and Peter's part. The facts stand. We've faced these accusations in many court cases and have won every time. We have admitted and apologized for the past, we have asked forgiveness, we have put strong rules in place, and we have moved on from all of this. My question is, why don't they?" You want the secret why you always won in court? It wasn't PTL, Jesus! It was me! and hundreds of others who were coerced into giving false testimony in court, thus perjuring oursevles. As a minor under duress, I bore no resposibility for that action. Though it's consequenses weigh on my mind almost daily. Yes I was abused, I was wittness to abuse. I was wittness to criminal behaviour. I was your victim, and your greatest champion! Yes, I put aside and "moved on" as was necesary, enough to lie to a judges face while in the privacy of her chambers! IN YOUR DEFENCE! I knew my older sister had been molested, my brothers toys broken on his head, my little sister denied knowledge of her mother's existance for years. (She was out of the family). You know what you've done. But you haven't a notion what you've caused. My mother spent 15 years looking for her first 4 children, thanks to Family policies. The damage has not been repaired! My mother spent time in an insane asylum, what you did to her broke her mind! And it breaks my heart. BUT NOT MY SPINE! Zerby, your day will come. I promise.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From ChrisG
Saturday, January 22, 2005, 20:41
(Agree/Disagree?)
I remember that the first statement that TF put out in the 80s condemning child and adult sex was a statement forbidding sex with children up to the age of 15. That is not the same as forbidding sex with minors, since 15-18 year olds are still minors. I remember this very clearly because they read the notice during devotions, and then a girl was turning 15 in my home and I wandered into a room and saw a group of aunties talking about how they were going to "wrap uncle ____ up in a ribbon and give him to _____ for her 15 year old birthday present". Then my mom went out FFing that night, so the uncle proceeded to have sex with this girl on her birthday in my mom's bed--the same bed that I was sleeping in. He pounded the poor girl until 2:00AM in front of my eyes. My little 1 year old sister was sleeping in her cot on the other side of them and she woke up repeatedly looking for my mom and the uncle proceeded to beat her with a shoe each time she woke up because he was pissed that she was disturbing his love fest. (reply to this comment) |
| | From thinker79
Tuesday, January 25, 2005, 11:33
(Agree/Disagree?)
I remember around 1986 the Family raised the official "adult" age to 12. Twelve-year olds were allowed to drink coffee, wine and were put on sharing lists. This is the family's "stringent policy" concerning sex between "minors" (under 12) and adults. The worst part, however, is that this "official policy" was rarely followed and never enforced. It was put in place to simply to ward off potential persecution.(reply to this comment) |
| | From thinker79
Tuesday, January 25, 2005, 11:32
(Agree/Disagree?)
I remember around 1986 the Family raised the official "adult" age to 12. Twelve-year olds were allowed to drink coffee, wine and were put on sharing lists. This is the family's "stringent policy" concerning sex between "minors" (under 12) and adults. The worst part, however, is that this "official policy" was rarely followed and never enforced. It was put in place to simply to ward off potential persecution.(reply to this comment) |
| | From moon beam
Tuesday, January 25, 2005, 07:40
(Agree/Disagree?)
I witnessed a simular situation also. I left in 88' and had only just recieved my personaly copies of TTH, heavens Girl etc.. with letters still encouraging sex with children and becoming pregnant at 12. So it was banned in 86?, that is a lie. I willed myself to start my periods so that The men would finaly stay away from me, ut they made it clear that you could still have sex with a boy who hadn't started ejaculation.
Also it stated that it was because they didn't want to many teen pregnancies, so if you were not yet mensterating you could still go ahead and have sex. For boys it was fine before you started ejaculation. I'll have to find the reference.
The judge in the UK court case found TF witnesses to be telling "less then the truth" in evidence, and found each acusation agaisnt TF by ex-memers to be truthfull. He just imagined that TF would take that opportunity to change, hence his decision to alow the child to remain with his mother, on the proviso that he not leave the country and attend school.
He states;
" Nonetheless, I regret to find that in many instances there has een a lack of frankness and a falure to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."
Exert from "The Devil hates sex!-But God loves it!"
"The only way to get free of (the devil) and his lies and his prohibitions and guilt complexes about sex is to get rid of his lies and his lying propaganda, his anti-sex propaganda, and believe the Lord and his word and his creation and God's love and his freedom! - that there is nothing in the world at all wrong with sex as long as it's practised in love, whatever it is or whoever it's with, no matter who or whatage or what relative or what manner (my emphasis) - and you don't hardly dare even say these words in private. If the law ever got a hold of this, they would try to string me up! They would probably lynch me before I got to the jail! When Paul said "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient" (1 COR 6: 12), he was as good as saying, "I can indulge in any kind of sex I want to, but I've got to watch out for the system because its against the law!" (Maria/Zery: At least not let'm find out if you do it!)... We are free in privacy, and that's about all, and we mightn't be free if they discovered what we do in private!... There are no relationship restrictions or age limitations in his law of love.... If you hate sex you are one of the devil's crowd! If you think it's evil, then God and love are evil, for he created it! Come on, let's love and enjoy it like God does! he loves it.!"
"The meaning is perfectly plain!"
"I have had to look at text like that and pictures like that over these many months but still I recoil from them. I find that children exposed as they have been to widespread activity of this kind and to literature as crude as that are children who have been abused for they have been robbed of their childhood sensibilities and have been exposed to that from which they should be protected."
"Berg, Maria and Sara practised what they preached and what they preached was practised by their flock. Children should not have been exposed to blatant and indiscriminate sexual activity. It was an early experience for many, many children. It robbed them of them of the precious youth. It defiled them. It was abusive. It was deplorable."
"I am totally satisfied that there was widespread sexual abuse of young children and teenagers by adult members of The Family, and that this abuse occurred to a significantly greater extent within The Family than occurred in society outside it."
"It is, therefore, quite unacceptable for The Family to cast the blame upon the immature or weak members and not to face up to what is a harsh truth unpalatable to them that Berg bears responsibility for propagating the doctrine which so grievously misled his flock and injured the children within it."
The means was a form of physical and mental atrocity mercilessly dished out to young, often already emotionally damaged children. There seems little acknowledgement from the leadership of the abusive nature of that regime. In my judgment, the leadership must stand condemned. That this went on and they did not know it is a conclusion which I cannot accept. Jose and Faithy were in charge. Faithy was Berg's daughter. MB was his granddaughter. I simply cannot accept that he and World Service did not know what was being done. The fact is that knowing that the treatment meted out to those difficult, damaged teenagers would never stand the test of any reasonable scrutiny.
"The Family now try to rewrite the truth not just to the outside world but more importantly to their own members to whom in the Teen Special letter Macau is now presented as a rural idyll. What nonsense!" (reply to this comment) |
| | From
Wednesday, January 26, 2005, 07:54
(Agree/Disagree?)
Is this what they mean about the ban in 1986? TTH
Question 1 was "What are the rules regarding sex for a 15 year old, as well as for younger teens?"
"Answer: Here's what Dad and Maria say that can help clarify that from the letter Teen Sex, paragraph 36: "(Maria: for the sake of potential problems with the system, we have set a rule for our girls that they can't fuck a seminating male after starting their period till they are 15). Yes, now you are making the qualification as I said, I think there is no reason to discourage them from having sex with each other until the girls begin to menstruate and the boys begin to seminate...Man's laws are in violation of God's laws, and because of this, we just have to be careful with our revolutionary living and our radical ideas and our liberties and freedoms, which the system doesn't have and sometimes doesn't tolerate. So boys and girls, you can have all the sex you want within the guidelines of counselling with your shepherds and/or parents, but boys, once you start having semen, you should not fuck any girls who have started their periods and are under the age of 15 years old. Once a teen girl starts her periods she must refrain from actual fucking with any boys who have semen because then you could produce a baby....Its o.k. to fuck boys who do not yet have semen, and girls, once you've reached your 15th birthday, you can go ahead and fuck.
So it makes it clear you can have sex with a child if you are seminating, which is child abuse. Just not whilst they are mensterating. And Okay for a girl who is mensterating to do it with a boy who hasn't yet started seminating.
So they didn't Ban sex with children after all!
(reply to this comment) |
| | From Nancy
Saturday, January 22, 2005, 15:05
(Agree/Disagree?)
Oh, so now James Penn is responsible?! When are they ever going to stop blaming other people and take responsibility? Ricky clearly had anger towards them for years and years, for what they did to children. He said so in his video. Those are his words. Read his letters to them on his memorial website.
Now they point the finger at their dead founder! Unbelievable! They, the cult leadership under Zerby and Kelly, and they alone are responsible. They can try to claim that there are only a few of us, their child victims, but the numbers here alone refute that.
They continue to have legal and media problems because nothing they can say or do will ever undo the years of exploitation hundreds of children suffered at their hands. Nothing! History is written, and they are on the wrong side of it. No projection or denial or spokesperson can undo it. (reply to this comment) |
| | From Jerseygirl
Saturday, January 22, 2005, 14:41
(Agree/Disagree?)
Calling the justification through "explanation" of wrongdoing an "apology" is ,quite frankly, an insult to my intelligence. And what is with trying to convince us that Pete is not Ricky who was Davidito? (phew-- what a mouthful) Not for nothing, but the excuses and explanations are becoming more lame as the day wears on. What is truly sad is that even complete silence in the event of YOUR SONS DEATH would be more dignified and respectful than all this explaining of why you are so upset over the death of your "dear friend and sister" Angela while in the same breath trying to justify your mistakes or lack of attention to your own son just because he became a different person than the one you were used to. We "apostates" , which seems to be the word of the moment, DID NOT contribute to Rickys anger. You have done more to anger a generation than any website could ever do. (reply to this comment) |
| | From katrim4
Saturday, January 22, 2005, 14:31
(Agree/Disagree?)
" 'The Devil Hates Sex' opened the door for sexual behavior between adults and minors, such sanctioning being a direct cause of later abusive behavior by some Family members at that time. In addition, we also acknowledge with regret that more specific and concrete restraints were not introduced earlier, and that Father David should have done so immediately upon receiving indications that problems were beginning to develop. "
If Bergs writtings were a direct cause of abuse, why isn't there more of an effort to heal the abuse? Where is the therapy fund? Where is the legal fund for those who want to take action? Who is the contact person within The Family that will tell you if your abuser is still part of The Family, what their legal name is and where they are. Where is the form that we can fill out to give WS or Maria or Peter an account of what happened. Who is going to keep track of the complaints and make sure that everything humanly possible is being done to resolve the complaints?
What about all of the other abuse that wasn't sexual in nature. What about our inadequate educations? What about the child labor? Where is the apology for that? Who is resoliving those complaints?
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From
Tuesday, January 25, 2005, 02:02
(Agree/Disagree?)
"It is sad that issues that have been resolved for years are once again brought up"
My dear Xerby, I am sure that it is more scary for you than sad.
Let me inform you, a unilateral declaration by the party at fault that something has been resolved doth not a "resolution" make. Got it? Not yet? Hang around, there's time yet.
--One of those who never could stand calling *you* "Mama"(reply to this comment) |
| | From Blondie_B78
Saturday, January 22, 2005, 13:47
(Agree/Disagree?)
What stood out to me the most about the above notice from Peter were these sentences from one of the printed apologies:
"...there were instances in which some individuals did not always strictly follow the principles & guidelines of the Law of Love, & in some cases, some of these liberties unfortunately were used as an "occasion to the flesh."--Gal.5:13. If any of you were personally guilty of any unloving acts, we trust that you have sincerely asked the Lord to forgive you. If you haven't already, we're sure you'd also want to ask anyone you have offended to forgive you, providing they are in your Home or nearby in your area, & you're able to verbally apologize to them. We do not recommend that you write others about things of this nature. "
For some people a verbal apology may be enough. Obviously though, if the person who receives your apology decides that it isn't, having something in writing would be extremely damaging. To me this sentence speaks volumes about their core attitude towards past "abuses". They (WS) are willing to apologise and take responsibility for their actions in theory as long as they are not required to offer more than words or policy changes. Or maybe I'm missing something?? Perhaps someone should ask Borowick in an interview if she could explain that sentence...(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from exister
Friday, January 21, 2005 - 08:39
(Agree/Disagree?)
I just perused the statement from Zerby and Kelly that is being circulated among CMs regarding Ricky's death. It once again makes painfully apparent the fact that these people live in a demented comic book like land of make believe, where Ricky had gone over to the "dark side" and was in cahoots with Satan, blah blah blah.
How can one possibly reason with these people? They refuse to accept even the most basic conlusions of modern psychology. I find it hard to believe that any thinking person could look at a situation in which a man is filled with homicidal rage toward his mother and conclude that his upbringing had been just peachy. It just doesn't happen, unless of course your spend your days living in a simple minded stupor making up new demons to scare your followers with.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from Baxter
Thursday, January 20, 2005 - 04:08
(Agree/Disagree?)
Why do they all sound like they were emasculated at birth?
I know some of these people, and I know for a fact that some of them are just following the frikking crowd!
WIMPS!!! CROWD-FOLLOWING WIMPS!!!!
(reply to this comment)
| from barf
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 - 17:52
(Agree/Disagree?)
http://www.myconclusion.com/
A wonderful lovefest of incestous inbreds scratching each others backs
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | from geo
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 - 12:42
(Agree/Disagree?)
Go here: http://www.mikeandnina.net/ for more "insightful" discussion topics like these:
Posted at 17:33 in Former & Current Family Members Speak Out! . | 1 Trackbacks | 1 Comments
The time is now. Our beliefs and lifestyle are being slandered in the media by a small group of people who publicly say they have our best interests at heart, but privately on their websites and forums say they want to destroy and disband us.
Ricky Rodriguez has told the media that there are "thousands" who in The Family "have been methodically molested, tortured, raped" and "many who they have as good as murdered by driving them to suicide".
What kind of weed was he smoking?
I don't even know what he's talking about. I can't even begin to fathom the complete and utter stupidity of that statement. That lie is now being perpetuated across the airwaves and in print, fed by people like Daniel "Albatross" Roselle, "James Penn" and co. Their point? That The Family is an unsafe place for my children...or anyone for that matter...
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | From just go back to sleep...
Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 14:50
(Agree/Disagree?)
I think it would be ridiculous to consider the opinions of someone born, raised and still in the fam as anything other than a talking head for the group, they have and, realy, there is no way for them to have, any perspective other than the slanted one handed to them; which they obviously have espoused and subscribe to. Good for them for finding their "happy place" where no wrong happened and a simple denial from their leaders is enough to "prove" that it never happened. Three cheers for those whose minds are made up and don't want to be confused by the facts (talk about "flat-landers" it doesn't get any more 2 dimensional then that.)(reply to this comment) |
| | From j.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 17:22
(Agree/Disagree?)
I agree, I know when I left I didn't have any particular feelings about the cult, just knew I wanted to do something else. Now after being out and having my mind de-toxed for the past few years; looking back on what I went through really angers me, because I have a different perspective and more importantly something to compare it to. I think that the fam's "statement of truth" on brainwashing makes the argument that you cant forcibly change someone’s mind, but in retrospect there’s no other way to describe our state other than brainwashed. The trick is that we weren't kicked around or caged like POW's (usually) it was a gradual, all encompassing, steady dripping, completely cut off from all other views, all outside material filtered and parsed, and all the while being told they "loved us" "It was for our own protection" etc. Why else would we need "breakings" and the constant struggle with "yieldedness" etc. if it was the simple "truth that would set us free"?
How can you say that it’s the best thing in the world if it’s the only thing in the world you have ever known? It is not surprising to see that the conditioning worked on some weak-minded characters and now they are full grown and are trying to convince us that it was all their own choice; yet they instantly 'jump to' and start mindlessly blabbering the party-line, showing the kind of zerby puppets they've become. If there was even one original thought or fresh argument I might be convinced otherwise; but it’s all the same crap that’s been spouted time and again. How many of us in the past stood up to the press and to authorities in defense of the family with our "sincerely wrong" testimony and whatnot and can now look back and say "what was I thinking" or maybe more accurately what weren't we. How subversive the quote "truth resisted, loses its power over the mind" now seems.
Here’s a thought... why don’t you try a little experiment: go even one whole month without your daily brainwashing session of "word time" and see how much your perspective starts to change, those little things called doubts that you are told to resist may actually be your conscience. Give it a whole year, you've been spoon-fed it every day of your life how could a fraction of that life-time make much difference? Then come back and we'll have a real conversation.
It seems that those still in, forget that we once were in the same place they are, mentally and physically, but our current states couldn't be further. Why? Because we took our heads out of the pressure cooker and were willing to consider, just consider, a different viewpoint. And despite the “traumatic testimonies” telling us the contrary, we are happier, more content, and most importantly making our own choices.
Another thing, I’m not sure why you “SGA’S” are getting all riled up, we are directing all this to the generation that raised us, that didn’t stop to consider that maybe every last one of us didn’t want to be the kind of quasi-missionaries that you now seem to be happy as, maybe we wanted to be something that required a bit of actual education, and now as we try to catch up on the years wasted by those who tried to force us into their mold we feel a bit of understandable resentment etc, and want our younger siblings and friends to be able to chose their own way and get the support they need to realize it. And our seeking a bit of justice on those who did use the power they had to take advantage of and/or harm and abuse us as vulnerable children shouldn’t be that hard for you “open minded people” to understand.(reply to this comment) |
| | From ack
Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 13:59
(Agree/Disagree?)
Don't judge someone who might choose to smoke weed.
You choose to believe in spiritual transexualism, WITH JESUS (by the way have you ever seen that famous painting of jesus cruxified as a male with breasts? bet Zerby would love that one)
You choose to cling to some imaginary keys, the way a mental invalid will cling to his imaginary friend.
You choose to abandon common sence in favour of cheap rhetoric.
And now you choose to put your own kids through the same process that enabled you to make such brilliant choises.
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From JohnnieWalker
Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 13:19
(Agree/Disagree?)
Three things about this made me laugh:
1) He calls us a "small group of people". Last time I checked 100-200 people was not a small group.
2) "who publicly say they have our best interests at heart, but privately on their websites and forums say they want to destroy and disband us." Privately? Perhaps he doesn't realise that Websites are public?
3) He says the the point of people like James and Daniel is that "The Family is an unsafe place for my children". Funny. I don't recall either of them ever saying that. But I DO recall James saying that these abuses were not taking place in the Family anymore and there was no need for a witch hunt.
It's sad how their knee-jerk reaction is to label anything their opponents say as "lies" without stopping to think about what is being said or why it is being said. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't point the finger. I used to be the same way when I was in the Family.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From weegirlie
Thursday, January 20, 2005, 06:28
(Agree/Disagree?)
That's what's so sad. We used to be the same way. Personally, I can't help but feel anything but pity for these SG kids. I mean a large majority of them seem to be very young, so probably didn't experience the abuse that we older ones did and it's possible they may not even have read the publications which we were brought up on (Ditto book, Heavens Girl etc.) since TF has done such a good job of trying to erase the past. Even if they did experience it, I know I never really thought I'd been abused when I was still in TF and I actually felt guilty about being a "rebellious child" and for "letting the devil in" and the rest of that crap they fed me all my young life. It wasn't until about a year after I left that I realised that the experiences I went through were not normal and that I had in fact been abused. And I reached these conclusions by myself, no one "told" me this. Thank goodness, I no longer have anyone telling me what I'm supposed to be thinking, which is something excredibly precious to me and would never let anyone take that away again.
The stupidest thing they are saying is that us "ex-members" only started claiming we were abused once we started going on these type of websites. Well, I left almost 6 years ago and I never once went on any ex-F websites until this week when I heard about Ricky from my sister and that was only to try and find out what exactly happened. For the past five years I've had almost no contact with any other ex-members except my personal family as I wanted to get on with my life and put all this in the past, so how do they account for my knowledge that I myself and others were abused and that this abuse was encouraged by TF's leadership. They don't seem to realise that their denial of all of this is what is enraging us so much.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from More from WS...
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 - 11:34
(Agree/Disagree?)
Notice from WS – January 18, 2005
Dear Family,
A number of you have written in, asking if it’s okay to share the information about the Pete and Angela situation with your former member friends and relatives, and many of those in WS have also been wondering what they can share with their loved ones. By far the majority of those who have left the Family are favorable, and it would be preferable if they were able to hear the truth from Mama and Peter, rather than just getting their information from the media or the apostates.
When we prayed about this the Lord said that it’s fine to share any of the recent updates that Mama and Peter have posted on the MO site about the situation with your former members and relatives who are no longer in the Family. The Lord said that it’s important that each person has a chance to make a well-informed decision about what they are going to believe, and it would be sad if our friends and relatives were swayed by the media and the apostates only, simply because they didn’t know what other information to believe.
We’re also working on a statement that can be given out to the GP regarding this situation, that basically focuses on the bare facts of the situation—and includes less background, explanations, etc. We’ll be getting this to you along with some other materials and statements as soon as we can, but in the meantime, feel free to share the recent posts from the MO site, or excerpts of them as the Lord leads you, with those who you feel will appreciate receiving the information and explanations.
Also, posted along with this notice you’ll find five files of compiled Word relevant to the recent events—encouragement in persecution and promises of protection and victory, counsel about how to strengthen our faith and not be weakened by attacks from apostates and detractors, and also some of the previously published answers to the old accusations which are being dug up again and spread around by the media and our detractors. Peter referred to these Letter links files in the latest notice he posted. We pray the easy access to these Letters is a blessing to you and a help in strengthening your faith.
We love you, and are praying for you!
Love,
Your World Services Family
(reply to this comment)
| From
Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 12:02
(Agree/Disagree?)
How patronising. Still ignoring the point.
WE ARE YOUR CHILDREN AND WE ARE VERY UNHAPPY AT YOUR IGNORING, CONDECENDING, ILLOGICAL REFUSAL TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE WRONG YOU HAVE DONE. WHICH YOU CAN'T DO UNTILL YOU LISTEN.
I think this shows to the world just how they treat us and why we have to go to the media and get the word out.
We have to get their asses in court.(reply to this comment) |
| | From Vicky
Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 12:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
I think it's crucial that whenever we can, in our dealings with the general public, we make a clarification in reference to TF's 'most ex members are favourable' line. It's important to note that many ex members are FGAs who joined in the first place and whose experiences with Family life are NOT the same as ours, by any stretch. Some or even most of them may be deluded and naive enough to look back with nostalgia at their own entanglement with TF, but that does not in ANY WAY take away from the truth of the terrible things that many children and teenagers endured whilst in the cult. TF's PR machine latches on to this empty reference to a nebulous demographic of 'ex members' as if we all had the same experience and fit neatly into one great big lump. NOT SO! I am not going to speak for everyone, but it's obvious by the participation on this site that a great deal of the SGA ex member demographic is anything but favourable. We deserve for our opinions on the damage caused by our cult upbringing to stand alone. (reply to this comment) |
| | From weegirlie
Thursday, January 20, 2005, 06:50
(Agree/Disagree?)
Also I think that a large portion of SG ex members have (like myself) totally distanced themselves from anything to do with TF, including ex members, in order to get on with their life. This doesn't mean that they are "friendly" towards TF by any means. For myself, if Ricky's murder/suicide hadn't happened I would have continued to try to forget my childhood, but that doesn't mean that I don't know that I was abused as a child by TF and that I wish with all my heart that those abusers get just punishment (although let me clarify that I'm talking about punishment by the law for their crimes, I don't at all condone the murder, even though in a way I can sympathise with the anger and frustration that Ricky must have been feeling).(reply to this comment) |
| | from Nancy
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 - 10:25
(Agree/Disagree?)
"Blair said the difference between democracy and tyranny was that in a democracy when 'bad things happen' the perpetrators were held to account." I guess under that reasoning the cult is tyranny.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | from An insult to Ricky's memory
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 - 08:38
(Agree/Disagree?)
There is now a photograph of Angela Smith posted on The Family website's 'graduates' page. There is still no photograph of Ricky.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | From weegirlie
Thursday, January 20, 2005, 07:01
(Agree/Disagree?)
Has anyone else noticed that considering Zerby's supposed to be "the sweetest, most loving person I know" according to "Peter", she doesn't seem to be showing the heartache that a normal loving mother would feel at the death of her son, not even considering the tragic circumstances? I know when someone who was close to me died a few years ago (but no where near as close as a son should be to his mother) I was racked with the whole unreasonable guilt thing "was there something more I could have done for him" etc. Surely she should at least be putting on a bit of a better show considering she's trying to pass herself off as a caring parent. But then I don't suppose anyone in TF's leadership would actually know what a loving parent's reaction would be. (reply to this comment) |
| | from sarafina
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 15:08
(Agree/Disagree?)
Email Correction! Sorry about the mistake on the email address. I just talked to one of coordinators again it seems I had miss understood him, it’s a good thing I got the email address wrong as he did not want his email made public. His email is to send our statement to when it is ready to post. They just want one.
The email address you want to direct your concerns to in regard to the “Family International” and their statement is ..
support@abcnews.go.com
In the subject matter put “Re; Family International and their statement” This way the right person will get it. I will also ask that you be patient there are many reasons ABC had to post the family’s statement. For one I think we all agree to freedom of speech, there are also reasons we are unable to disclose at this time. Know this there are many people at work on many things and it will all come together eventually.
(reply to this comment)
| from Jerseygirl
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 12:24
(Agree/Disagree?)
The saddest and perhaps most infuriating part of all this to me right now is the way our peers who are still members of TF are acting. Not only do they sound more and more like FGA's as the days go on but it is downright scarry how well they prove that brainwashing is alive and kicking. These are the boys and girls that we grew up with and many of whom had the exact experiences we did and worse! Reading their thoughts and angers on the current event is almost impossible to comprehend. It is as if they are doing a skit on how to bury your head in the sand so you don't have to admit that things are fucked up.
One of them says on his personal website that he will not even entertain the possibility of discussing these events with any ex member and especially not one from movingon.org. Coward! I have no respect for those who want to say their piece and sling the mud at you and then refuse to be fair and hear your side. Of course Borrowick and her crowd are appalled at the media!!! The papers are finally printing some truths and not just what "TF" approves of and can distort! I think she is hilarious! The New York Times is biased??? Whatever, woman.
This certain current member also says on his site that he will not be persuaded to believe that Angela Smith has done anything wrong. To him she was a sweet loving endearing woman who was innocent and did nothing to deserve her death. My only response to him there (that is it WOULD have been my response but he won't listen) is how would he feel about me or some other 30+ yr old woman fondling and sexually abusing HIS sons??? YEAH- THOUGHT SO DUDE- I rest my case.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from IWasNotABlindChild
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 11:10
(Agree/Disagree?)
There was a man named Bernabe in Argentina. He was an abuser of the first kind! He threw his 2 yr old daughter against the wall, breaking both her legs and her pelvis. She spent months in an A frame cast. His son, an infant, was taken to the hospital with breathing complications resulting from his being held over a pot of steaming water, A home cure PTL. He never came back.
I met this man at a later time, a couple of years at most. This man has not done any time for his crime against his own children. I think he was finally exomunicated. I'm sure some leader at some time, believed that punishment fit that crime.
(reply to this comment)
| from moon beam
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 10:54
(Agree/Disagree?)
http://religionnewsblog.com/9922/Murder-and-Suicide-Reviving-Claims-of-Child-Abuse-in-Cult
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from girlie man
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 09:40
(Agree/Disagree?)
Interesting article from Mercury News
http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/10670239.htm
Group, P.A. woman's slaying intertwined
KILLER, SON OF SECT'S LEADER, BLAMED IT FOR CHILDHOOD ABUSE
By Elise Ackerman and Kim Vo
Mercury News
For years, Angela Smith's parents had asked her to leave a religious group she had joined in the 1970s. As the new year began, Smith finally seemed ready. She had recently moved to Palo Alto and landed a steady job.
But Smith, known to some friends by the nickname ``Joy,'' never got the chance to put her past behind her.
During a trip to Tucson on Jan. 8, she was stabbed to death by Ricky Rodriguez, the estranged son of the missionary group's leader. Rodriguez then drove west, to the California border town of Blythe, where police say he killed himself with a single shot from a semiautomatic handgun.
``My husband and I kept telling her to get out of the group,'' Smith's mother, Jo Kauten, said in a tearful conversation from her home in Winchester, Va.
Smith, 51, was the executive secretary to Rodriguez's mother, Karen Zerby, the spiritual leader of Family International, and to the group's late founder, Oakland native David Berg.
On its Web site, The Family says it is a Christian fellowship with 12,000 associates working in more than 100 countries. But the Washington, D.C.-based group also has been accused of child abuse in a number of countries.
According to the New York Times, before his death Rodriguez sent three videos to his wife and other family members in which he said he was avenging children like himself who had been beaten and subjected to sexual abuse.
Claire Borowik, a spokeswoman for The Family, said in an interview that the group has been vindicated in the abuse cases and called the criticism the work of ``vitriolic ex-members.''
In a statement, Borowik added that some of those ex-members had prompted Rodriguez to display violent tendencies after he left the group in 2000.
And, she said, Smith had in fact left The Family two months ago because she was ready for a change after three decades of missionary work.
Group's origins
The Family was founded in 1968 in Huntington Beach under the name the Children of God. Its founder, Berg, took on the name Moses David and was known to some of his followers as ``Mo,'' according to the group's Web site.
Scandal dogged the group after claims of brainwashing and child sexual abuse surfaced in the 1970s. Authorities from France to Argentina to Australia have raided the group's homes and taken children into custody.
The group's leaders have said they are targets of religious persecution. In her statement, Borowik acknowledged that minors had been ``subject to sexually inappropriate advances'' but said the group had tightened its policies in the 1980s to forbid sexual contact with children.
Nevertheless, ``Historically they've been known as one of the most horrifically abusive and destructive cults in American history,'' said Rick Ross, director of the New Jersey-based Rick A. Ross Institute and affiliated with www.cultnews.com.
Ross said he had interviewed several former members of the Children of God group, including Berg's daughter and granddaughter, who said they had also been abused. Berg died in 1994.
Though its leaders say the group has been reformed, Ross said, doubts remain because many of its longtime leaders -- including Zerby -- still run the organization.
Ross, who has been tracking cult groups for two decades, said he wasn't shocked by the Rodriguez murder-suicide.
``It doesn't surprise me because so many of these children suffered so much,'' Ross said. ``There have been many suicides over the last several years. There's a tremendous amount of pain.''
At a Web site for children whose parents belonged to The Family, www.moving on.org, members sorted out their tangled feelings about the deaths.
``While the facts regarding these events are still not clear, what happened to Ricky Rodriguez and Angela Smith was a horrible tragedy, and something that we sincerely hope is never repeated,'' the Web site's editors wrote.
A Moving On representative did not reply to an e-mail seeking further comment.
Colleague mourned
News of Smith's death has been especially painful to the staff at Palo Alto's Restoration Hardware, who remember their co-worker as an exceptionally kind and trusting spirit. ``Always something sweet,'' said Gretchen Mills, who took a chance and hired Smith though she had no retail experience.
According to her mother, it was Smith's first job in years that was not connected to Family International.
Mills said Smith caught on quickly, winning over customers and staff with a ready smile and warm personality. She brought snacks for the stock team and would interest herself in the details of her co-workers lives -- remembering to ask about dates and doctors appointments.
Said Mills, her boss: ``There was nothing creepy about Angela.''
(reply to this comment)
| From Vicky
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 10:39
(Agree/Disagree?)
May I extend my deepest sympathy to the family of Angela Smith. I am not heartless and I realise that there are those who are at this moment mourning her death.
It is tragic beyond words that Ricky felt he had no other course of action than that he chose, but an even greater tragedy is that The Family does not mourn the loss of a woman whose character they describe in glowing terms, and that of the flesh and blood of their own Leader, enough to make amends with the many children, their OWN CHILDREN, whom they so cruelly abused, carelessly discarded and now, in an attempt to save themselves yet again, vehemently blamed for this disturbing event. (reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From catch 22
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 10:51
(Agree/Disagree?)
Well yeah, but that makes us all weird then, doesn't it?
If I'm weird, I'm weird, and if I'm normal, I'm weird.
Not that it's an issue for me, because I'm weird.
But it's true, I do worry about the normal people, and try and stay away from them.
Psychos.(reply to this comment) |
| | from Nancy
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 09:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
In order to refute what the cult is saying now and will be saying more of in the future, we need to remember and repeat over and over until we are heard, that WE are NOT disgruntled ex-members. We were never members. We never chose to be in the cult. We are their CHILD VICTIMS. They are attempting to blame their child victims for the acts of one of their other child victims. This time, their one trick pony, they used against Watchman and everyone else who spoke out against them will not work because we are not the "angry ex-members", postulates, etc. they always lump their detractors into. We are their CHILDREN! We are their VICTIMS!
This is a case of Sleepers, except on an international scale. This is a case of a horribly abused child growing up and killing his abuser. We need to say that over and over and over until we are heard. The horrible abuse he suffered and witnessed drove him to this, nothing else, certainly not other child victims.
Another issue we need to make clear is that this was not just a murder/suicide. This is much larger. This cult has operated an international, (they are in numerous countries), conspiracy, (because their abusive doctrines involving children were dictated by cult leadership and consented to by members), to exploit children, (exploit because we were systematically used for cult purposes, whether sexual, physical, mental or financial). This cult has operated an international conspiracy to exploit children on the largest scale. This cult may very well have been one of the largest cases of exploited and abused children not related by nationality or ethnicity in the modern world.
Nothing has so far ever been done about it because unlike some other cases of child exploitation, we were their own children. When our very own parents conspired in the cult to exploit us, then who was there to protect and defend us or prosecute our abusers? No one. When such tremendous wrong goes unpunished and even unprosecuted for so long, then it is not so shocking that a case like Ricky's has occured.
Further, unlike the movie Sleepers, we were not in a reformatory. We, and there are hundreds, if not thousands, of us, we were only in the cult and subjected to its doctrines and practices, as a result of having been born to our cult member parents. We did nothing wrong. We did nothing to deserve the horrific abuse inflicted upon us or the indoctrination and mental oppression which went along with it. We are not EX-MEMBERS! We are the child victims of a cult that operated on an international level.
What happened to us was dictated from the very top of the cult. The way we were raised and exploited was dictated by cult doctrine espoused in mountainous cult literature and for which every member was made to read and live out. Ricky was the founders' own son upon whom they practiced all their most abusive doctrines. He was the test case upon which we were all modeled. Now we have the final result of their test case. Their own self-proclaimed "prince" is dead as a result of what they did to him. Yet, rather than issuing an apology to the hundreds, if not thousands, of parents and children for whom they dictated their twisted practices that they practied and modeled on Ricky, they seek to blame their other child victims. The cult leadership does not even take pause at Ricky's death. They go directly into victim attacking mode, their long time modis operandi. Ricky's very own mother remains silent, living in hiding and having her cult members issue statements placing blame onto her other victims.
Is it shocking? Not really when you consider that very few pedophiles, child abusers, sweat shop owners or child exploitation ring leaders ever issue apologies or even admit their guilt. The most shocking aspect is the scale upon which this cult has operated and the inability of the authorities, in even industrialized countries, to put an end to it.
Does it not strike anyone as suspicious that the leadership of this cult lives in hiding? Does it not give the authorities pause that everyone in the cult uses fake names? Is no one concerned that the highest leadership in the cult changed their names legally to very common ones which are difficult to track? Some have even changed their names more than once. Does no one have information on the passport buying scheme the cult leadership was busted for in Canada awhile back?
If nothing is wrong and this cult never exploited or abused its children, then why do hundreds of their children now spend large amounts of their time speaking out and telling their stories? Why do they bother? And why are all of our stories the same regarding what kind of abuse was inflicted on us? Why do so many of us commit suicide? Why are so many of us in therapy? Where is the financial support Claire Borowik claims has been extended to us to help us heal from our injuries?
I don't know one person among us who has ever received a red cent from the cult. I do know many, many horror stories, though, of how many of us ran away from the cult and had to struggle to make a life for ourselves with no money, no education and no support system. I know of many of us, including myself, who have supported a younger sibling to make his or her struggle a little easier.
Have you no shame Claire Borowik? There are hundreds of us. The cult for which you speak has hundreds, if not thousands, of child victims. You can't call us all liars. We are all telling the same story.
You may have gotten away with lying in Argentina about what the cult did to children there, but the United States of America is no Argentina. Here we have a justice system which is among the best in the world.
Run and hide, Zerby, run and hide. The truth will find you. Your son is dead. You only son is dead. Your legacy is a dead son and the truth of what you did to him. You better find a very big rock to hide under because the truth is out, and its looking for you, you and Kelley and Lonnie Davis and your agent, Claire Borowik.
Here in the United States we have justice, of the non-violent kind. If you don't come to it, we'll bring it to you. But most importantly, we have freedom of speech. We have freedom to speak without fear of retribution, unlike what we grew up with in the cult. And when so many of us are speaking and telling the truth of what the cult did to us as children, we will inevitably be heard. We will be heard, and not you, your agent Claire Borowik or the gods of abusive lying cults can stop that from happening.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | from Fish
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 08:39
(Agree/Disagree?)
Does anyone know the email add for people to write in comments or complaints to ABC? Someone find out and post it. They need to be told that they’re essentially siding with rapists and sadists. God I hate it when the fam uses their network of contacts like this!!
(reply to this comment)
| from Holon
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 05:32
(Agree/Disagree?)
I am deaply upset by the message I found on ABC. My sister saw his video this am.And it will air again on thursday night on "Primetime". But This is just crazy That they have this message on here go to:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=420820&page=1
(reply to this comment)
| From Albatross
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 11:54
(Agree/Disagree?)
Hi guys,
I am aware of the Family’s response to my speaking out in the media. Don’t worry about it. I did anticipate this and knew that the Family would do what it always does: Shoot the messenger. Blame the victim. Ignore the real issues.
The bottom line is that this is not about me. The Family may not realise this now but will be forced to face that fact very soon. A lot more continues to unfold, hour by hour now.
I am not worried about the Family’s attacks. It simply proves the point of their continued callous disregard for their victims.
The truth is being told and will bear out. (reply to this comment) |
| | From Nancy
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 12:33
(Agree/Disagree?)
Daniel,
Did I not write here just a week ago that the cult was becoming more and more aggressive in its attempt to blame its victims? I wrote that it would probably start naming names. Now it has.
Let me say this, I am a licensed attorney, as you know. I lived with you when we were children. I witnessed many of the acts of the cult of which you speak. I was the victim of abuse dictated at a school run by your own father. We, you and I, and many, many, many more of us here know the truth of which you speak because we lived it with you. Let me make you this promise here in this public forum. Listen up Claire Borowik. I will personally be involved in legally representing you Daniel in any action the cult could conjure up. If I am not personally best suited for the job of your representative, I will call in every legal marker and contact at my disposal on your behalf.
The cult and Claire Borowik, especially, needs to understand that every time they defame and attack another one of their victims, it will only make more of us stand up and speak out. This is not Argentina! Claire Borowik will not get away with defaming and attacking the child victims of the cult here. We will not ever rue any day, as they claim, that we tell the truth of the abuse committed upon us. If they want a legal fight, let them continue. Here's your rope. Claire please keep talking! Keep naming names and attacking the cult's child victims. In the years since we got away from the cult, we have made lives for ourselves and learned what our rights are. We will not roll over. We are not afraid. I am not afraid, especially not of you.
If you want to continue to attack my childhood friends and the cult's victims, you're going to find yourself under the jurisdiction of the courts in which I live and practice. Here justice is blind, but it is not deaf to the cries of the hundreds of child victims of the cult, for which you speak.
You could have taken advantage of the fact that many of us have separate lives and are not interested in wasting our precious time on your cult. You took our childhoods. That is all you get. But, now you unite us in attacking our friends and fellow victims. Not a smart legal strategy. Keep it up and the truth will come out a lot faster than it already will.
Daniel, I support you with all my resources. You are not alone! When we were children, we were vulnerable to this viciousness. But, we are grown now. And we live in the United States, which despite any criticism is still a land of freedom, freedom to speak out, especially when you speak of truth and demand justice. (reply to this comment) |
| | From SuzieQ
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 12:22
(Agree/Disagree?)
What is so incredulous to me (it shouldn't be I know) is that this woman's (claire) husband is one of the worst child abusers there has ever been in the Family who used to spank his own adolescent step-daughters and then fuck them while they were still crying. I know because I was there and because I have heard it from their very own mouths. They are too busy with their own lives to be involved with this, but it's the truth.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From chainedgirl
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 17:04
(Agree/Disagree?)
It was so hard to hear of this latest news. I cried for Ricky, for yet another one of us who tried and lost the battle to live. Suicide for me too has been a daily thought since leaving TF, something I still have to fight against. I do not condone murder, but Angela had it coming in my opinion. You cannot live in and around, be a witness to and DO the things these adults have done to us and not expect there to be some sort of consequence. They knew better! Makes me think of what I just read a few hours ago in a psychology magazine, "Humiliation is arguably the most harmful condition known to man, all it does is breed revenge." - That reminded me of where I read how Ricky kept using the word "embarassed" when speaking of some of what he went through in TF.
I want to scream out, "It's about time!!" It's about time our voices, our cries were heard, I mean really heard! - It's good to see the media picking this up...finally! Nancy, you are right! This is not Argentina or some quick little media spill TF is going to make spotless with all their lies, then cover it up to their own members with the "decievers, yet true" crap.
I proudly add my name to this list in support of Daniel and all of us who had no choice or know-how to make things better, just the fucked up circumstance of having being born to the COG. It makes me so angry that they are trying to blame this on the ever present "disgruntled ex-members"! It will not work this time...better think of something else and quick cause we are finally coming out. We are NOT ex-members, we are the fruit of your sick and twisted labors. I'm just sorry Berg isn't still around to go down with you. He was a perverted, weird, nasty old man and I hate him! I hate that I was made to dance numerous times for him! To know that he watched that and many, many more of us as well. I was 12, 13, 14 and 15 years old when told to dance for his ass. How old was he? And to think those videos are still floating around somewhere, where I have no clue.
I have been raped, molested, masterbated and abused physicially, verbally and mentally countless times since the age of 11 and I know I'm not alone in this. I have fled from authorities in the middle of the night, why...I never really knew, been deprived of any real education and any contact with the outside world. Was without my consent nearly "married off" to an Indian national to secure my visa and told to be thankful for it, was threated with and in the presence of severe public spankings performed by Sara Davidito and Ho. These were filmed! Saw Mene (Berg's grand-daughter) go from a scared and timid person to going seemingly crazy. TF had her tied down to her bed, she was wearing diapers and screaming in the middle of the night. TF told us she had conscented to being the Devil's whore and was having sex with Satan and that we should pray for her and take her lesson to heart, least we fall pray to the "Devil, walking about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour". They opened our mail and took our money, read our journals and made us cut up our pictures, searched our stuff and put us in solitary confinment, deprived us of any music or books not their own and publically humiliated us in front of all with what they considered our many NWOs. Worst of all, they gave us no real understanding of this planet that we live on, nothing for even the simplest of tasks. Huge world events I came out of TF not even knowing they existed, how to drive, bank, shop, get a job, these were all things I had to learn after I left and it's been quite the journey. Yes, TF stole our childhood, 22 years of my life personally and we deserve justice! We deserve our time, to tell our side loud and clear. So ....run Zerby or try to anyway, cause you're doing down.(reply to this comment) |
| | From Nancy
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 13:05
(Agree/Disagree?)
The following is what I wrote to this individual at ABC. I included my personal contact information. My email was returned to me. Would someone find the correct email address for someone at ABC who is involved with the press release? I will resend my email in that case. Thank you!
Dear Sir,
I am writing with regard to the press release published by ABC on behalf of the Family Care Foundation International, and more specifically the charges and untrue allegations regarding Daniel Roselle. Let me begin by saying I was born into the cult now known as the Family Care Foundation International. My parents were members, and by no choice of my own, I lived in the communes and schools run by the cult off and on until I was 17 years old when left for good of my own accord. I lived in one school in Mexico with Daniel Roselle which was run by the cult and more specifically, Daniel's father. At that school, I personally experienced and witnessed much of the abuse and exploitation of which Daniel now speaks. I personally experienced both extreme physical abuse and sexual molestation in the schools in which I lived which were run by the cult.
After leaving the cult at the age of 17, through many difficulties and struggles, I was able to get an education and attempt to make a life for myself. I am now a licensed attorney. Yet, I live every day with the scars both mentally, emotionally and on my body which were inflicted by the cult. I have, through the help and resources of compassionate individuals in this great country, been able to mend much of the injury inflicted on me as a child. But, I will never get my childhood back. I will never know what it is like to go to the prom or stand on the high school graduation podium with childhood friends or regain my virginity or experience the innocence of teenage dating or know the joy of carefree childhood play. Instead, I live with memories too ugly and painful to recount here.
I do, however, celebrate the freedom of our country in our ability to speak out. It is a stark contrast to what I knew as a child within the cult. I see the benefit of the public knowing of my past and that of the hundreds of others like me and Daniel Roselle. I hope that in exposing the exploitation we endured, it will heal some of the pain I see my friends, like Daniel and others, living with.
I would ask that our stories be told along with the allegations of the Family Care Foundation International. Please allow our voices to be heard. The cult drowned our voices as children. Let our voices and experiences be respected as adults. Thank you for your time and attention. With best wishes and highest professional regards, I am,
Very sincerely yours,(reply to this comment) |
| | From Nancy
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 13:38
(Agree/Disagree?)
The phone number for ABC News is (212) 456-7777. It is difficult to obtain the contact information for an editor or reporter to whom to send editorial responses. I got transferred a couple of times to audience relations, which is now closed, and only available for comment during certain hours.
I was able to get through to ABC's legal department. I left a message for an attorney there named Sherry Carr. I asked her in my message for the contact information for which to respond to this press release. I was able to get her fax number as well. It is (212) 456-7753. I would advise sending her editorial responses and requesting that she forward them to the correct individual. I have separately requested information with regard to the statement as it regards Daniel Roselle.
I am not entirely sure whether this wasn't a paid press release. If it was, then I'm sure a response can be made through identical channels as the statement was published.
If any one obtains any further information, please let me know. I think it is important to be thoughtful, articulate and succinct in any responses. ABC is a great news medium and not responsible for the content of this release. They will most likely be helpful in providing information on whom to send responses to this statement if we are polite and courteous. (reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | From frmrjoyish
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 14:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
I sent the following statement hours ago and have not recieved an error message. Hopefully it got through. Daniel and everyone else putting their necks out for the truth, thank you! You make us proud!
"I am writing this in support of Daniel Roselle as he works to dispel the lies currently cascading from the cult formerly known as The Children of God.
Myself and another child, who I will keep anonymous, were both sexually abused for years, sometimes separately sometimes together. The leadership in the homes we lived in knew of and condoned the abuse. Not once was any effort made to stop it or punish the abuser. Even when I reported it 1986 no investigation was conducted nor any consequences suffered by our abuser. Not once since their public retraction of their child-adult sex practices did I or this other individual ever receive an apology or an offer of therapy.
It is my hope that as a respected institution of journalism you will have the ability to discern the truth from lies. This is a group that is well adapt at lying and deceiving the public, academics, and members of the media. It is my hope that your news organization is equally adapt at finding the real truth.
If I can help in any way I will. Thank you for your time."
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | From Nancy
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 14:11
(Agree/Disagree?)
I would probably issue a warning or disclaimer of the contents with the link. I know I originally wanted to see a the video, but after I heard about its contents, I changed my mind. I know it would break my heart. Without passing judgment, I know it would just break my heart to see someone in that much pain. I'm grateful for people who are stronger emotionally than I am who have the strength to watch it.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From JohnnieWalker
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 08:55
(Agree/Disagree?)
So, Ms Borowik. How many investigative cases into allegations of abuse has the Family made recently? How many of your group's members were convicted of past or present abuse? How many were turned over to the authorities for committing the abuse? Was the investigation recorded? Could you please publish the results?
I'd also be interested to find out about this policy TF claims it has for investigating abuse. What third-party officers have they set in place for such investigations? What are their contacts? Why have these contacts not been made readily available to anyone who even so much as hinted at abuse?
Have any other ex-members out there heard about such a policy before?
I have the feeling, she was only bluffing.
But let's suppose for a moment that Claire Borowik wasn't bluffing when she said the cult has policies in place to investigate reports of abuse.
What if each and every ex-member who was abused, sent TF a letter, via Ms Borowik, demanding an investigation into the abuse. As these requests for investigation would involve matters of child abuse as well as rooting out abusers from within their midst (both these issues being of apparent high importance to The Family according to Ms Borowik) they would be within their rights to demand that these abuses be investigated immediately.
Once the investigations are complete (I am being generous in assuming they would even begin), it would become painfully obvious that TF is prepared only to investigate allegations of abuse, but not actually see to it that the perpetrators are brought to justice. Sadly, nothing would ever come of it and it would mean revisiting the legal route to bring the abusers to justice.(reply to this comment) |
| | From I agree
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 09:55
(Agree/Disagree?)
Maybe someone should ask MS Borowick for a copy of the procedures manual TF developed to investigate allegations of sexual abuse. It's not the thing you wing it on.
Maybe someone should ask her to produce records of some cases that they did investigate. Show us the money.
But I have thought of this also for some time.
If many people who were abused wrote somewhat detailed letters to the group, outlining what happened, where, and who, and asking the group to investigate. Also ask to be kept appraised of the investigation, assigned a contact person in TF, a case number, and an outyline of the process that will be fired.
Of course they won't do it, but in the process they will expose themselves.
There will be no internal investigations, because the abuse starts at the top and goes down.
But that fact needs to be conclusively exposed. (reply to this comment) |
| | From Kate
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 10:29
(Agree/Disagree?)
There's already prove that the claim of abuse investigation is pure BS!
I wrote them, I told them about my case. Did they ask anything regarding the incident? NO! Did they offer to investigate and get to the botttom of things? NO! Did they DO anything about it? NO! For all I know the perv is still in TF. When I wrote them the letter I didn't write names because I wanted to see if they would at least be interested in asking for names. Did they ask for names? Not once, never.
All they did was write a letter basically telling me to forget the whole thing. It's posted it somewhere on this site.
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From afflick
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 09:30
(Agree/Disagree?)
When I lived in the DC Home with Dust (Mike Edwards) and Ahlai (Cindy Thompson), I remember a situation where Dust told me that he heard about a situation in Cincinnati where an adult member was messing around with a 13 year old girl.
In my opinion, Dust was very concerned that this girl would cause trouble for the adult man, in the way of getting "put on babe's status" and be unable to read the new letters the Family was putting out.
He voiced his desire, as the leader of the Family in North America, to try to help "smooth out" the situation for the adult man, so that he wouldn't have to be on babe's status. That was in 1998. I am sure there are many other stories like this one.
First of all, if you have a story of sexual abuse being covered up currenly, please post it.
If you can give the date and the legal names of those involved, even better.
The media needs to know that the Family's way of dealing with issues is through "babe's status" maybe no videos, no new missives to read, no alcohol. They definetly do not turn over offenders to the law as they believe they are above it.
The world must know.
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From xolox
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 08:54
(Agree/Disagree?)
I cannot in anyway blame the Family for posting a unified concerted effort to defend themselves, it's human nature after all.
I can however find fault in the fact that we have not!
How can we let The Family villify us this way with no response? As if we are the ones who started this whole mess! Or perhaps it it ABC'S fault for not seeking our side before publishing TF's slanderous remarks.
I think that the acctions of just a few individuals, as well meaning as it is, is simply not enough! Where are our tactics? Our strategy? Why are we always reactive? Are we taking a page out of TF's book?
I don't want to seem condemning of anyone. And if there is in fact an effort being made count me in. If I am simply not well informed, I beg you to set me straight on this matter.
-Disgusted to the core.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | From Update
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 09:19
(Agree/Disagree?)
There is an effort being made. ABC is getting the full story and will be airing it soon. Updates will be posted when we know more. The people talking to the media are definitely doing all they can to make sure the truth of Ricky's life is known.
If anyone would like to be involved, please email Daniel at the email address posted on the home page. (reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | From Haunted
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 07:59
(Agree/Disagree?)
The thing is, like any other responsible media outlet - they SHOULD post the Family's reply to what we have to say. I think that the most important thing we have to remember is that in exposing these zealots for who they are, we must be careful not to become zealots ourselves.
Not that I didn't feel horrible having to skim that response from them saying that I'm a liar, but hey, they have to right to say whatever they want, and seriously, anyone with half a brain can figure it out for themselves after reading something like!
It'll bury (and by this, I mean no violent connotation, I assure you) them in the end anyways...
Joni Bogle(reply to this comment) |
| | From tiahogan
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 06:42
(Agree/Disagree?)
I am shocked that ABC would allow only one side of the story to be told in such a lenthy story. I don't mind that the other side of the story is told, but saying that other news papers were unethical for telling the story from what Ricky's friends said is totally uncalled for. Those news papers tried to get statements from TF & were unable to. So that's why the stories came out the way they did.
It's funny to me how the Family tries to sound so terribly intelligent & sophisticated when the vast majority of its members barely finished High School and its children were not even allow that much. Another thing that really hurts is to read how they portray TF's past as such a "non-issue", like none of the accusations really happened, they are simply created by TF's enemies. Try this, no one ever came out with it because we were totally brainwashed & many of us were embarrassed by those incidents. It's very hard for abused people to come out & report abuse, especially if it's sexual in nature or done by people known to the victim. Even rape victims who have never been brainwashed have a hard time reporting their assault because it's traumatizing & embarassing to face. Victims of sexual & physical crimes tend to not want to bring it up because they feel ashamed or guilty that somehow they brought it on themselves. God knows how many children are sexually abused or physically abused (i.e. beaten) but never report it because it's done by their parents or people close to them. They cannot face it & somehow feel it's their fault it's happened.
I'm sorry TF has to paint such an one-sided picture of us ex-members and of their policies. Of course in the books everything looks great & peachy, but nothing happens according to book, 90% of the time. It's easy to hide behind policies & written rules, but it's hard to come clean with the fact that those rules are not always followed.
No one is saying Angela was a bad person, Ricky himself said she was the first opportunity he had, that's why she was chosen. I don't belive any of us blame all that happened to Ricky on Angela, we know she simply represented TF in Ricky's mind, that's what triggered him. Not all of us will remember Angela as a rapist of children & such, but at the same time, she's not a complete victim in the picture, she did play a part in Ricky's past.
Loosing someone is always hard, no matter who you are, no matter which side was right or wrong. Also, there is always two sides to a story & both sides will always paint themselves "in the right" against the other, any trial has an accused & a victim. I belived in this case we have two victims and two defendants (not necessarily Angela being guilty, but the cult she represented).
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From moon beam
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 06:30
(Agree/Disagree?)
In response the family in that statement saying that they never condoned violence and respect life, read the following from David Berg:
"God damn Cory Aquino, and help this revolution against her to succeed, in Jesus' name! Help Gringo Honasan, in Jesus' name! Give him strength ... over Ramos, that God-damned compromiser Ramos! Lord, in Jesus' name, give them the guts to kill'm!—To kill her & to kill Ramos ... including that sinful Cardinal! Strike him down! Let him get killed, Lord! He deserves it, Lord! He opposed us & persecuted us! May he now get his judgment! Help them [the rebels] not to stop at anything that will give them the victory!
“Help them not to be afraid to kill Aquino & Ramos & Cardinal Sinful! Help them not to hesitate, but to eliminate those wicked people, in the Name of Jesus! Help the rebels to kill them, to destroy them! May they thoroughly destroy them! Kill them, Lord! They did us evil, Lord! Now vindicate us, Lord! Revenge us, Lord, & destroy them! Help them not to hesitate to strike, to bomb, to machine gun & destroy Cory Aquino & her wicked associate Cardinal Sinful & ... Fidel Ramos. Help them to slaughter them! Help them to do it without any whim of conscience. Lord, help them to do it now, to kill Ramos, kill Aquino, & kill Sinful! Help the rebels to destroy these fountains of evil, these sources of evil! Help them to kill them, Lord!—To kill the sources of evil! Kill Cory! Kill Cardinal Sin! Kill Ramos!"
"Prayer Against the Forces of Evil in the Philippines!" (ML 2593:1,2,4,13,17,24,30,31,37,40).
"May God damn the God-damned Jews! My God, I think if I could get over there and had a gun I think I'd shoot 'em myself! My God damn them in Jesus' name! In Jesus' name, strike! Strike! Strike! God damn the Jews! Those Anti-Christ, Christ-hating Jews, God damn them! O God, if I had a gun I'd shoot them myself! God damn the Jews! God damn them, God damn them, God damn them, in Jesus' name! Damn the anti-Christ Jews! Damn them O God! God damn them!"
"A Prayer for the Poor!", 681:23,25,33,34,35,76
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | From tiahogan
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 07:01
(Agree/Disagree?)
Holy shit!!! Berg truly was a joke. He was a freaking jew himself for Christ's sake!!! Didn't he notice his own name??? "BERG"!!!! What a hypocrite. He preached all that love, all those values, all that peace & crap & when you stop to look at it, he was a drunk, violent, anti-jew, pervert, child-molester, sadistic, manipulator, psyco-genius for the group he started. He created this whole other world who supported him in his world travels & he sure did know how to manipulate the Bible & how to get people to do WHATEVER he wanted!!! He even pimped & got away with it!!! (reply to this comment) |
| | from Some news clips
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 05:25
 (Agree/Disagree?)
The Release from Pain
(AP, December 22, 1997) A father mourns a son slain by a drug addict. A daughter turns her back on a violent, alcoholic mother. A husband thinks of killing himself or the wife who abandoned him.
A minister, a mother, and an attorney - ordinary people who lived in unendurable pain.
Until they stopped it with an extraordinary act: forgiveness.
They are part of a national trend reflected in an increase in religious revivals, mass movements such as Promise Keepers, and best-selling books extolling the virtues of forgiveness. But their stories reveal that the road to forgiveness is different for each individual.
None forgave easily or quickly. Each got there in different stages, sometimes even when their tormentors were unrepentant. But none regrets it.
"The anger has totally gone away," said Jim, the newly divorced man. "God had a plan. I still don't understand the plan. But it's got to be something good, after all He's put me through."
---
The Rev. Walter Everett's shock at the murder of his son, 24-year-old Scott, turned to rage when the killer plea-bargained his way to a five-year sentence.
When the killer, a drug addict named Michael Carlucci, was sentenced, he said that although they must sound like empty words to the Everetts, he was sorry for what he had done.
Everett's friends dismissed the remorse as a ploy for leniency, but Everett himself, a United Methodist minister in Hartford, Conn., was moved.
On the anniversary of his son's death, he composed a letter to Carlucci in which he talked of his family's suffering - "the pain is almost unbearable at times" - and said he could not accept one person having so little regard for another.
And then he wrote: "Although words seem so trivial in some ways (yet they are all that we have now), I do accept your apology, and, as hard as these words are to write, I add: I forgive you."
Those words, the bearded minister would later recall, were a turning point. "I felt a burden lifted from my shoulders. It was the beginning of healing for me."
But it was not the end. His marriage would fail; his wife could not understand his forgiveness. When he went to visit Carlucci a few months after writing the letter, he was enraged anew to find that the murderer had already been transferred from a maximum to a medium-security prison.
"Healing doesn't come immediately. It comes in stages. It's a process that goes on through one's life," Everett said.
At that first meeting, Everett was making small talk about Carlucci's weight when the prisoner, who had never been forgiven by anyone before, reached over and embraced him. Both broke down in tears.
Everett and Carlucci would become friends. It was Everett's testimony that helped Carlucci win early release from prison, and it was Everett whom Carlucci would visit while on prison furlough. In 1994, Everett officiated at Carlucci's wedding. They still see each other regularly.
Everett will never forget his murdered son. But if you are going to love your enemies, as Christ commanded, you first have to forgive them, Everett believes.
"When I look at Mike, I don't see a man who injured my son," Everett says. "I see a man who is forever changed by God. And I celebrate that."
---
When Kate's husband told her he had invited her mother to stay with them for Christmas, Kate was furious.
When Kate was growing up in poverty in a small Canadian town, her alcoholic mother regularly beat her while in a drunken stupor and left her alone to care for six younger siblings.
No amount of bruises on Kate's face the following morning would elicit any remorse from her mother, who accused her daughter of lying when confronted with the truth.
When Kate started her own family at age 20, she never looked back. But after the birth of their fourth child, her husband made the Christmas attempt at reconciliation.
The visit was a formal one. Kate sensed her mother was often on the verge of telling her something, but she was determined not to give her mother the opportunity. Kate refused to accompany her to the airport with her husband.
"It was just at the moment of her walking out the door, and she said, 'Can you ever forgive all those years?' And that was all I needed to hear," said Kate, now 48, but still in tears as she relives the moment. "That point was the beginning of a healing process that was an absolute miracle."
Kate had found peace in a Hutterite religious community, where all seek to live like the early Christians, but hatred had burdened her. Given the chance, she discovered she wanted to forgive.
"It only took me about 30 seconds to respond to it, because in a way this was what I had been struggling with for years," she said.
Still, forgiveness came slowly. It took her years to trust her mother to babysit her own children.
"The first time she ever genuinely wanted to hug me, afterward I just tensed up because the physical contact before had been only violent."
Forgiving is not forgetting, and Kate would not want it any other way.
"I don't think I could ever forget," she said. Otherwise "I could not remember the miracle of forgiveness."
---
Jim was a modern-day Job, the biblical embodiment of the divine mystery of why bad things happen to good people.
When the '90s began, he had a successful law practice, kids in college or prep school, a vacation home in Vermont.
Then he lost his mother to a long illness, and his father was killed in an auto accident. His business collapsed, and he lost his house.
Two years ago his wife of 28 years threw him out with the dog.
Like Job, Jim cried to the heavens. "I blamed God. God's given me a bad set of cards. I'd be better off killing myself."
He became consumed by "pure unadulterated anger, to the point I even thought of killing her," the stocky ex-Marine told his support group of divorced and separated Catholics in Hamden, Conn.
What changed his life was prayer, and the realization, after his wife vehemently objected to court-ordered counseling sessions, that his marriage was lost. At that point, "it became very easy for me to forgive," he said.
"My anger went down by volumes that were just incredible," said Jim, 54. "It's given me a real inner peace."
He could sleep at night. The fury he carried within him was replaced by a sense of serenity. These days, when another driver cuts him off on the highway, he laughs it off.
He went around to other people, asking forgiveness for injuries he had done to them. He has a new job counseling ex-addicts.
With a smiling thumbs-up, Jim describes the point at which he knew he was a changed man: when he could be polite to his ex-wife's boyfriend, whom she brought to their son's wedding not long after the divorce.
"I know where I am," he said, "and I know where I am with God, and that's all that matters." q
News Reprint
The power of forgiveness
By Jane Lampman, The Christian Science Monitor , Januray 28, 1999
Little Earl and his mom and dad were having a terrible time. Diagnosed as hyperactive and defiant at school and at home, the redheaded seven-year-old with a sprinkle of freckles couldn't seem to control his anger. One tumultuous week it got so bad he was hospitalized for the weekend.
Six months later, Earl was much happier: He had found a new way to deal with his feelings, his parents' relationship with each other had improved, and he no longer needed the Ritalin or Prozac he was being given for hyperactivity. He began to do well in school.
Both he and his parents had found a "third way" to deal with their anger. Rather than denying or venting it, they had learned how to forgive. And their answer is one that is being explored much more widely today.
"Forgiveness has remarkable healing power in the lives of those who utilize it," says Richard Fitzgibbons, the Philadelphia psychiatrist who worked with Earl and is one of the pioneers in introducing forgiveness into the mental health field.
Whether it be small wrongs, betrayals, or great crimes and injustices, most people struggle with the resentments and grudges that can arise from being treated unfairly. And the failure of so many to deal effectively with them echoes loudly in today's school violence, high rates of divorce and domestic battering, drug and alcohol abuse, as well as in criminal acts, ethnic warfare, and terrorism.
Some see hope in the rediscovered power of forgiveness. They see its potential not only for personal life, but in community, national, and international relations. And many are practicing it.
Forgiveness is a "hot topic" now in many areas, from academic research to marital and family counseling to politics and community life. "Long considered the extra mile of mercy toward the offender that is required from a 'believer,' forgiveness is now being rediscovered as a creative human faculty for overcoming estrangement," says Lewis Smedes, professor emeritus of theology and ethics at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Calif., in Dimensions of Forgiveness (Templeton Foundation Press, 1998).
"Forgiveness is more than a moral imperative, more than a theological dictum. It is the only means, given our humanness and imperfections, to overcome hate and condemnation and proceed with the business of growing and loving," says Paul Coleman, a psychologist in Wappinger Falls, N.Y., whose work "was rejuvenated" when he started planting that seed with his clients.
Forgiveness has "a spiritual component," Dr. Coleman says, "a grace from God, if you will," and spirituality has only become a little more accepted in the mental health field in the last decade.
Dr. Worthington, author of To Forgive Is Human , says the key ingredient is empathy. "The degree to which a person can empathize is related strongly to the degree they can forgive." Given what is happening in the world, he adds, forgiveness "has the potential to be enormously influential" in the 21st century. Research will also soon show, he says, that it will be very healthy not just to forgive an event or a person but to have a forgiving character. q
(reply to this comment)
| From xolox
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 12:58
(Agree/Disagree?)
I think a crucial point is made by all these stories. And this point is: Forgiveness while healthy and wonderful, must first be sought with contrition by those who have wronged. How can one forgive someone who is defiant, and seeks nothing else but to hide what they have done by pointing fingers at their very victims? Or at best, offering token apologies laced with accusation, cynisism, and hate.
I hope everyone who was injured can find one day the luxury of forgiveness, for a luxury is what it seems to be. But most of all, I hope that every injured soul can find forgivness for themselves. The cult inculcated into it's members a sence of low self worth, and self hate, and self deprication. Often this takes years to overcome, but unfortunately some don't last long enough to realize this, and wind up taking drastic measures with irrevocable consequences.
The road to forgiveness is long, and hard, and must begin with a SINCERE apology, And followed with actions that prove there is remorse.(reply to this comment) |
| | From peace
Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 18:44
 (Agree/Disagree?)
I think the key lies in the phrase from the above article: "Forgiveness has remarkable healing power in the lives of those who utilize it". It is a proven fact that unforgiveness and bitterness hurt the person who can't forgive more than the person who needs to be forgiven. Look at Ricky? Who did he hurt the most (besides Sue/Angela)? HIMSELF!
True forgiveness does not depend on whether the person or persons who offended you have asked forgiveness or are even SORRY for what they did. However, the problem lies in the undeniable fact that as long as we can't and don't forgive, we are actually giving our abusers, offenders more power. Is that what we want?
Who can say anything against someone whose peace in this life does not depend on how others treat them or consider them in ANY way. Now that's a hard thing to do, but it IS doable.
Did you ever notice that those who are bitter against someone else, usually have a hard time getting on with just about everybody? Unless all they hang out with are other bitter people!!
Please don't think I am trying to preach. I was a very bitter person because of the abuses that I endured while in TF as well as after I got out, which led to years of therapy and a near suicide; however, one day, I finally took to heart what others who cared about me had been telling me all along: "You must forgive. It is more important for YOU to forgive than for the other person to even ask forgiveness. If they do, that's a bonus, if they don't...you are much bigger than them because of it, and your life will not be ruled by anger and hate and ultimately by THEM...because THEY are controlling your life as long as they are controlling your emotions"
One fine day I finally realized that what they were telling me was indeed true and so, I let it all go and took my peace and my life back, throwing away my anti-depressants, anti/anxiety drugs and becoming again the sweet person that everyone knew me as before I had let bitterness and hate take over...and OH, what relief....that was when the healing BEGAN...it didn't come over night, but it got easier and easier every day to the point of, now if I ever feel ANY anger or bitterness towards another (including myself), I immediately let go of it...and then the peace comes again.
Forgiveness is a choice.
Maybe it is too soon for you to see this. I, too, in hearing about Ricky and reading all of your stories as a consequence, trying to learn more, have been tempted to let it all come back in again...but why go there? Do I want to live in that torment again? For what? NO,I prefer to be the "captain of my soul" and not another...I prefer to let go of all the negative stuff and REALLY start MOVING ON. It really IS possible, believe me.
There is a time for everything, a time to weep, a time to mourn, a time to laugh and a time to cry and a time to put away crying. I am not saying that you are ready yet to forgive. Hopefully that day will come for you all sometime soon, so that you don't live the years of torment and anguish that I did before I was finally able to let go. Hopefully one day you, too will be able to do this...whether they EVER say they are sorry or not...I'd love to see that. Don't think that is the coward's way out either...or, that you are being a doormat, a wimp. To forgive does not mean that you will allow your abusers to continue to treat you that way...in fact, many times it means separating yourself from them for awhile (or, as in the case with TF, forever, if need be!) It means creating healthy boundaries for yourself, surrounding yourself with people who love you and truly have your best interest at heart and who will encourage you and uplift you when you need it, and not run you into the ground. It also means, not allowing what THEY DO OR DON'T DO to control you anymore. People don't usually change that much, short of a miracle...so, why should we expect TF to?
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From shut up
Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 23:26
(Agree/Disagree?)
the ramblings of FGAs are most unwelcome here, you who were part of the problem; how could you possibly know where we are coming from?? the audacity of you all to try to lecture us as in times past... you were weak minded enough to subscribe to bergs dementia in the first place and then to perpretrate it, do you think we will ever feel right in listening to your drivel?(reply to this comment) |
| | from panich77
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 04:18
(Agree/Disagree?)
Rest In Peace Dear Ricky Dominguez.
Your passing marks the end of an era and represents the pain of thousands of your peers. Althoough we never knew you personally, we grew up together, you in front, and us just a postbox behind.
I will remember you always.
(reply to this comment)
| from panich77
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 04:18
(Agree/Disagree?)
Rest In Peace Dear Ricky Dominguez.
Your passing marks the end of an era and represents the pain of thousands of your peers. Althoough we never knew you personally, we grew up together, you in front, and us just a postbox behind.
I will remember you always.
(reply to this comment)
| from Latest from TF
Monday, January 17, 2005 - 12:05
(Agree/Disagree?)
Additional information re: Ricky and Angela
By Peter
Dear Family,
God bless you! We love you and are so thankful for your prayers, as we feel their effects every day. Over the past few days we have received further information regarding the death of Angela (Joy) at Ricky’s hand. We wanted to update you on what we know so you will be informed and can continue to pray.
First of all, I want to let you know that Mama and Techi are holding up well through all of this. Mama told me that she is using the invaluable weapon of praise which is helping her to rise above the sadness of it all. We know that your prayers are helping us in great ways. Thank you so much.
We are presently working on a GN which gives the Lord’s insight on the matter. We believe this GN will explain a few more things which will be a help and strength to you. When we prayed about what is the best thing we could do to help you in this trying situation, the Lord said that giving you the Word would be the most effective thing we can do. The Word gives faith, and faith is what you need at difficult times such as these. The Word gives peace; it gives truth, strength and hope. We’re sorry we haven’t been able to get this GN to you more quickly, but it takes time to receive the prophecies, write the GN and get it to you. However, you have an abundance of Word at your fingertips which should help to strengthen you and give you faith.
If you have specific questions, or things that are bothering you about this situation, you can get the Lord’s personal Words to you if you bring those questions to Him and let Him speak to you in prophecy. A number of “Letter Links” will be posted very soon, so you will have a list of previously written GNs to read which will be a help to you.
If you are struggling in any way in regards to this situation, we ask that you please go to the Lord and the Word. We ask that you seek the help and prayers of your shepherds. Please don’t feel ashamed if you need help, or if you are doubting, or if you have questions. If you are battling fear, of either repercussions of this event, or that your life or the lives of your children are in danger from other hostile ex-members, then please take those fears to the Lord. Let Him speak to you and comfort you. Talk about it with your shepherds, pray and hear from the Lord. He can give you His Words which will give you answers and will give you peace.
In regards to our former members, the great majority of them are friendly. Of the tens of thousands of former Family members, all but a small number have moved on with there lives. Many of you have contact and fellowship with former members, they know you well and love you, so you should not let Ricky’s actions change that relationship.
There is a very vocal group of former members who regularly post on the former member web sites. While they have grievances with the Family and speak of them on a regular basis, many, if not most of them, have not advocated violence against the Family. They speak of fighting the Family, but in terms of either trying to take the Family to court, or to convince Family members that the Family is “evil” and that they should leave.
There are, unfortunately, those who have posted on the former member sites who have advocated violence. Ricky was one of these. In his posts he was seeking others who were of a like mind. Since Ricky’s murder of Angela, there have been a number of postings condoning the murder. There was very little in the way of other former members challenging these statements. Thankfully, the administrators of the site took down these postings, albeit after several days. Our hope is that they are beginning to see that such material is detrimental.
We want to reiterate that we don’t feel that these events should cause you to pull away from former members out of fear. However, if it’s necessary for some reason for you to have contact with former members who are very hateful towards the Family, who are apostates who have said things in the past or recently which would make you feel unsafe, then we suggest that you keep your distance, at least physically, during this time. It’s not that we think there are a lot of apostates who would cause violence, but at this time emotions are running high and some postings have indicated that there are those who agree with and condone what Ricky did. Please be very prayerful and wise.
It has recently been confirmed that Ricky pre-meditated the murder. He made a video beforehand which makes it quite clear that he planned to kill Angela. He had originally moved to Tucson (where Mama’s relatives live) to find out Mama’s whereabouts, with the hopes of finding Mama and killing her. He changed his plans when he found he could meet Angela. While we haven’t personally seen the video, those who did have explained that the video is of Ricky with his gun and knives as he explains his plans to kill Angela, and to then take his own life. He makes a general call to our former members to hurt and damage the Family. When we have seen the video we will share more about it with you.
There has been a great deal of misinformation about Ricky’s motives, affirming that it was a “crime of passion”, and that Angela was sent to give him a message from Mama, etc. All of this has now been disproved by his video. It is now understood that his goal was to harm Mama. When he found out that Mama had paid a visit to her relatives, he moved to Tucson to develop a relationship with them, in the hopes that he would discover Mama’s whereabouts.
A few years ago, when Angela was living in Texas, she visited Mama’s parents, who own a small retirement home. After that, she would visit once or twice a year. During her visits, she would assist with the old folks and help in any way she could. In time, Mama’s relatives invited her to join the board of directors of the retirement home, as it was a non-profit foundation. She agreed, and from that point on she visited for board meetings twice a year. Angela’s role on the board was totally unrelated to her being a member of the Family.
Some former members are now claiming that Mama bought the retirement center for her parents. This is totally false. Mama did not buy the retirement home for them, nor has she ever had anything to do with the retirement home. Her personal family is in no way connected to The Family.
Upon hearing about the death of Angela and Ricky’s suicide, we sent a message to Elixer, Ricky’s former mate, via her father, offering our help, especially with the costs of the funeral. She initially refused any help or contact whatsoever, but later accepted some financial aid to pay for the expenses in Tucson, which included mortuary and other related expenses.
Elixer made it clear that she didn’t want anyone from the Family to attend Ricky’s funeral and that she didn’t want contact with any Family members, except her father. We have honored her wishes.
We also want to reiterate that when Ricky broke off friendly relations with us several years back, he made it very clear he no longer wished to hear from Mama or me. We honored his wishes and only sent Christmas greetings each year since then. Contrary to what some apostates allege, Ricky made no attempt whatsoever to contact Mama or me, or to discuss issues. There was no indication at all that he was seeking to talk with us. We never received an email from him or a response to our Christmas notes. He never sent word to us via Family members he saw or talked to that he knew could easily contact us. He never sent word to us through Mama’s relatives. The idea that Ricky tried numerous times to have a dialogue or initiate reconciliation with Mama and/or me is completely false.
During the past week there have been a number of news articles published in Tucson, Arizona, where Angela was murdered. There were also three articles published in national American papers, one in the New York Times and two in the San Francisco Chronicle. We’re not sure at this point how extensive the media coverage will be, taking into account what has transpired so far. Our detractors are attempting to drum up as much media as possible and are trying to use the deaths of Angela and Ricky as a platform for their stated purpose of harming the Family. Thank the Lord for His wonderful key power to bring to naught the attacks of our enemies! “When you call on the power of the keys of protection, My strong angels of defense who stand ready to keep you from harm will do whatever it takes to protect you.”
That’s the latest news we have at the moment. We will update you as to any further development. We’re sorry to have to write you the details of all of this. However, because the media and the former member sites publish a lot of misinformation, we wanted to keep you informed. We will be publishing an official statement from the Family on all of this in the near future.
Please pray that we can complete the GN and get it to you very soon. In the meantime, please keep praying, keep going to the Word and keep doing the job of witnessing and winning the world. We love you and are proud of you.
Love,
Peter
(reply to this comment)
| From Jules
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 08:49
(Agree/Disagree?)
I am quite appalled that there still has been no mention of the position of the administrators and editors of this site on violence. We published this before Peter's previous announcement to the Family, portraying us all as vigilantes.
Peter is still misinformed, as we have not removed comments supporting Ricky's act, although we do not agree with them. I cannot find the first quote they used and it may have been removed by an editor before we agreed to let all comments stand.
Why, with all the attention focused on a few remarks made in anger, have they paid no attention to the abusers we have named or the heart rending accounts of pain and abuse written here? Why do these great spiritual leaders have no empathy for those that they have hurt and the despair and desperation of their own children? Why do they insist on attacking the victims instead of attempting to rectify the harm and help the suffering heal? (reply to this comment) |
| | From thinker
Monday, January 17, 2005, 16:17
(Agree/Disagree?)
Gee, I thought good Family members were not supposed to read the papers or visit this web site. If they were all obeying, they wouldn't need this misinformation update.
I think Peter's explanation so far about Angela's relationship with Zerby and The Family is suspect. First of all, right after the news broke, they say she was a longtime Family member. Then they backtrack and say she was on furlough, whatever that is. She "had an appartment, was travelling around..." Well, in the real world, that costs money. She didn't have a job, so where was she getting her money to flit around, helping old folks, etc.? My guess is that she was on a monthly stipend from Zerby and co. Knowing what she knew after a lifetime of living with them, they knew that she had tales to tell. Better keep her on the payroll.
In my view, there is no way that Angela was on the board of directors of the directors of Elderhaven without the express consent and approval of Zerby.Zerby was probably helping her parents with some $ every month.
And what's all this about Angela being in contact with Gabe and Amy? Those two are direct emissaries of Zerby and Smith: they don't spit without asking permission first.
It does not add up, IMO. I think Peter is lying, but what else is new?
Angela did not deserve to die, but I think Peter and TF are lying about her relationship to them and TF at the time of her death. A perusal of her emails and bank records would probably tell the tale.
On another subject, the word is that Grant at FCF is on an extended trip and cannot be reached until February.
All these leaders can't step up to the plate when leadership is called for. Instead, they send their hack,Borowick, who never even knew Ricky.
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From Bootylicious
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 15:57
(Agree/Disagree?)
The answer, Cassy, is simple: their children are detractors, apostates, bluntly put, the bad guys. "Oh my!" A zerbyan shouts, "but...but...the bible says that a good tree canNOT bring from bad fruit"
"Gee", zerbyans ponder, "then the bad guys just CAN't be our kids, cuz we is da good tree and we don't bring forth bad fruit! Well...let's just keep calling them detractors, leave the term OUR OWN CHILDREN out of the picture and make ourselves feel better that we overlooked that little verse there now!"
...and they lived happily in Zerbylandia...for a while...(reply to this comment) |
| | From JohnnieWalker
Monday, January 17, 2005, 12:44
(Agree/Disagree?)
For those of you who don't have the time to read through this, here is the gist of what Peter says:
"Dear Family,
"Former members on MovingOn are spreading misinformation regarding Ricky's death. Since you're not supposed to visit that site, I'm going to give you some misinformation on the misinformation that they are forming. Since I don't want you to miss any of the misinformation (which would cause you to be misinformed about the misinformation and miss the formation of information) we are forming an informational GN covering the misinformation you missed.
"If you feel that your miss is in form and yet missing all forms of misinformation, please call on the Keys of Misinformation.
"Love, the Queen"(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from January
Sunday, January 16, 2005 - 04:39
(Agree/Disagree?)
From a visitor's point of view, the Family's internal memos (as they appear here) seem to offer persuasive evidence that may be far more derogatory and damaging to TFs name and reputation than any (and perhaps all) of the comments posted here. Is it intentional or not?
Surely they must know they are reproduced on this site?
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | from Activated
Saturday, January 15, 2005 - 22:19
(Agree/Disagree?)
Something any of us can do:
We can write letters to the editor for each of the print articles. It can be done online. There is a good chance that some thoughtful, relevant letters will be published.
If nothing else, it shows that the story is being read -- something writers and editors want to know.
It may also encourage follow-up.
Show you care!
(reply to this comment)
| | | | From frmrjoyish
Sunday, January 16, 2005, 06:05
(Agree/Disagree?)
Agreed! The following is what I wrote to the NY Times.
To whom it may concern:
I would like to commend your newspaper for the January 15 article by Laurie Goodstein on the murder-suicide death of Ricky Rodriguez. It was an accurate description of what is unfortunately common knowledge for those of us unlucky enough to have been born into such an environment. As a former second generation member of the same cult I can understand the mental anguish Ricky was forced to endure that drove him to such actions.
His life was filled with documented cases of physical and sexual abuse that were then turned into a public spectacle for tens of thousands of cult members to mull over in their daily readings. I can only imagine the shame and embarrassment of not only having to live through what no child should have to but then having to relive it as an adult through the countless internal cult publications documenting the crimes committed against him.
The other individual who lost her life that day was present for, participated in, and at the very least stood by and did nothing as young Ricky was subject to multiple acts of sexual abuse. While his actions against this person are regrettable and tragic, it should not be forgotten that the abuse Ricky endured as a child is just as tragic. I would ask that everyone take a minute and please try to understand the horrors that drove him to commit such a horrible act.
While many of us never met him, his life was part of our daily life while growing up in The Children of God, The Family, etc.(they change their name frequently) since publications about nearly every aspect of his life were required reading for us as kids...in a way he grew up alongside every single one of us. His death is tragic and I am deeply saddened and angered that it came to this. It is my sincere hope that perhaps your article will bring to light the frustrations many of us feel as the very people and parents who abused us are now calling us "vitriolic apostates" and liars. I hope it will help the public to understand what thousands of children in hundreds of countries around the world have endured at the hands of Ricky's parents and the other adults in this cult. It is a tragic situation and should not be allowed to be forgotten or swept under the rug by the very capable public relations machine The Children of God, The Family, ect. is now dispatching in response to this tragedy.
Again, thank you and and I commend Laurie Goodstein on this article.
Sincerely,
Lydia
Here is the email address:
executive-editor@nytimes.com
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from ThinkingDavinci
Saturday, January 15, 2005 - 21:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
How about the news that Zerby bought a retirement CENTER- a whole center- for her parents?? Isn't that almost the wickedest thing you've heard yet? Then put her relatives in charge of running it, putting Sue ON THE BOARD to protect her apparently hefty investment?? Making sure her parents have a cozy retirement, while the rest of our parents get forced out of the group when their health becomes a liability & their faithful years of service don't mean squat. She spent our parent's tithe to buy a comfortable future for her parents...... The Family at large needs to know this.
We need to do something to further cramp their lifestyle. How about posting a "Wanted" poster? Between all of us there must be either some pictures, or at least someone who knows quite a bit about them can draw a police-style sketch, weight & height estimate- Last seen in- type of thing. Who can draw? Someone who knows them? Can we make this happen? Right now our website has so much traffic from being mentioned in the press, let's get some renderings with DOB/ Offenses, weight, features, etc. Let's make it really difficult for them to get out & live a normal life!!
(reply to this comment)
| From Cultinvator
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 08:03
(Agree/Disagree?)
Good Point. The fact that most businesses, including church organizations that send missionaries, ensure that their efforts in the organization are not done in vain, their support is taxed and part of the money goes towards their retirement fund, whereas WS's Tax from the beginning has not taken their distant future into consideration, blinded by their apocalyptic zeal, and projections of 'transformation' into heavenly bodies.
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From 1 hoo nose
Saturday, January 15, 2005, 22:43
(Agree/Disagree?)
Did anyone besides me know the so-called "academics" had FFing priviledges, long after it was banned??? Gordon Melton & others got the goods after they were off the shelf. I know, I was sent to fetch "a good Merlot" when he used to come over to spend indoctrination time with A-Lay (Ahlai). Not to mention how well we were prepped before those interviews. If you can beat a lie detector test by clinching your sphincter, it should be understood a social scientist's studies can be totally erroneous, if your reading list prior to your interview includes "A rose by another name", Deceivers yet true, Know Your Enemies, & "Mama's letter to a raped teen telling her she wasn't really abused because it was done in Love & it was the Lord's way of telling her to move to Africa".
To Do!!
1) Create a list of whoever's left in the GOG that needs to go down, maybe 5 or 10 people.
2) Get Height/weight/eye color, & a good sketch, just like at the Post Office.
3) Send this link to local press- Police- FBI- & International embassies & State Departments, Immigration officials, with a list of offenses, as accurate as possible- IE not hearsay, but what Eyewitnesses among us have seen, & what do they do in the group?
IE Silas- Finance guy of the Pacific Rim, heads a software pirating network in Thailand- Likes Windows & Spyware programs, DVDs of new releases- keeps all the profits for himself, puts it in the stock market with a High School buddy who's a broker, & Real Estate in Florida, leaving when he has enough loot for retirement (True, BTW).
We need a task force. A resistance movement. We're good, concerned citizens now with the right to lobby & practice our legal freedoms of speech & press. Haven't you seen the Mormons doing it? Non-violent results oriented awareness campaigning.
How about a list? A contact list- of all of us, putting our names & contact info down, offering up anything we know- We all know something, none of us know everything. We can get 100 names & email addresses of us who are willing to stand up & take back our innocence, Jules- Can you give us a link we can put ourselves down on??? That way all the press flooding our site now can get more of the truth than ever. We attach our list to the Email we send out around the World. We also send it to their contacts. If they solicit in a city we send it to city hall. If they have a unit somewhere we send it to the local zoning department for city ordinances investigation.
Who's up for it??
(reply to this comment) |
| | From 1 hoo nose
Saturday, January 15, 2005, 22:42
(Agree/Disagree?)
Did anyone besides me know the so-called "academics" had FFing priviledges, long after it was banned??? Gordon Melton & others got the goods after they were off the shelf. I know, I was sent to fetch "a good Merlot" when he used to come over to spend indoctrination time with A-Lay (Ahlai). Not to mention how well we were prepped before those interviews. If you can beat a lie detector test by clinching your sphincter, it should be understood a social scientist's studies can be totally erroneous, if your reading list prior to your interview includes "A rose by another name", Deceivers yet true, Know Your Enemies, & "Mama's letter to a raped teen telling her she wasn't really abused because it was done in Love & it was the Lord's way of telling her to move to Africa".
To Do!!
1) Create a list of whoever's left in the GOG that needs to go down, maybe 5 or 10 people.
2) Get Height/weight/eye color, & a good sketch, just like at the Post Office.
3) Send this link to local press- Police- FBI- & International embassies & State Departments, Immigration officials, with a list of offenses, as accurate as possible- IE not hearsay, but what Eyewitnesses among us have seen, & what do they do in the group?
IE Silas- Finance guy of the Pacific Rim, heads a software pirating network in Thailand- Likes Windows & Spyware programs, DVDs of new releases- keeps all the profits for himself, puts it in the stock market with a High School buddy who's a broker, & Real Estate in Florida, leaving when he has enough loot for retirement (True, BTW).
We need a task force. A resistance movement. We're good, concerned citizens now with the right to lobby & practice our legal freedoms of speech & press. Haven't you seen the Mormons doing it? Non-violent results oriented awareness campaigning.
How about a list? A contact list- of all of us, putting our names & contact info down, offering up anything we know- We all know something, none of us know everything. We can get 100 names & email addresses of us who are willing to stand up & take back our innocence, Jules- Can you give us a link we can put ourselves down on??? That way all the press flooding our site now can get more of the truth than ever. We attach our list to the Email we send out around the World. We also send it to their contacts. If they solicit in a city we send it to city hall. If they have a unit somewhere we send it to the local zoning department for city ordinances investigation.
Who's up for it??
(reply to this comment) |
| | From 1 hoo nose
Saturday, January 15, 2005, 22:42
(Agree/Disagree?)
Did anyone besides me know the so-called "academics" had FFing priviledges, long after it was banned??? Gordon Melton & others got the goods after they were off the shelf. I know, I was sent to fetch "a good Merlot" when he used to come over to spend indoctrination time with A-Lay (Ahlai). Not to mention how well we were prepped before those interviews. If you can beat a lie detector test by clinching your sphincter, it should be understood a social scientist's studies can be totally erroneous, if your reading list prior to your interview includes "A rose by another name", Deceivers yet true, Know Your Enemies, & "Mama's letter to a raped teen telling her she wasn't really abused because it was done in Love & it was the Lord's way of telling her to move to Africa".
To Do!!
1) Create a list of whoever's left in the GOG that needs to go down, maybe 5 or 10 people.
2) Get Height/weight/eye color, & a good sketch, just like at the Post Office.
3) Send this link to local press- Police- FBI- & International embassies & State Departments, Immigration officials, with a list of offenses, as accurate as possible- IE not hearsay, but what Eyewitnesses among us have seen, & what do they do in the group?
IE Silas- Finance guy of the Pacific Rim, heads a software pirating network in Thailand- Likes Windows & Spyware programs, DVDs of new releases- keeps all the profits for himself, puts it in the stock market with a High School buddy who's a broker, & Real Estate in Florida, leaving when he has enough loot for retirement (True, BTW).
We need a task force. A resistance movement. We're good, concerned citizens now with the right to lobby & practice our legal freedoms of speech & press. Haven't you seen the Mormons doing it? Non-violent results oriented awareness campaigning.
How about a list? A contact list- of all of us, putting our names & contact info down, offering up anything we know- We all know something, none of us know everything. We can get 100 names & email addresses of us who are willing to stand up & take back our innocence, Jules- Can you give us a link we can put ourselves down on??? That way all the press flooding our site now can get more of the truth than ever. We attach our list to the Email we send out around the World. We also send it to their contacts. If they solicit in a city we send it to city hall. If they have a unit somewhere we send it to the local zoning department for city ordinances investigation.
Who's up for it??
(reply to this comment) |
| | from RIP Ricky
Saturday, January 15, 2005 - 12:23
(Agree/Disagree?)
WE ARE NOT APOSTATES!!! Apostates start by having a choice, something we never had.
Does Zerby actually think I would have joined her Black/Jew/Catholic bashing cult? "Please let me think about a 2000 year old dead man and masturbate. Please control every bit of my life and tell me what is and isn't real. I want to make you wealthy and live a life of a vagabond."
Did I ever say that? NO!!! You blind fuckwipe. None of us did. We were reared to believe that all that crap was all there was to life. You lying anal drip. I will pursue every means to bring you and your kind to an end no matter how long it takes. As one of my fellow TCK's (Third Culture Kid, that IS what we are) said, "Time is on OUR side" you aging whore. Bleed bitch. Bleed.
(reply to this comment)
| from James Penn
Saturday, January 15, 2005 - 11:39
(Agree/Disagree?)
New article in San Francisco Chronicle
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/01/15/MNGNVAR3CD1.DTL&type=printable
Rage turns to vengeance against 'Family'
Anguished ex-cult member decried years of abuse before killing 'molester,' himself
Don Lattin, Chronicle Religion Writer
Saturday, January 15, 2005 now part of stylesheet -->
Ricky Rodriguez was exhausted, scared, frantic. He'd just fled his Tucson apartment, leaving behind the body of 51-year-old Angela Smith. He'd stabbed her three times and slit her throat.
As a baby, the 29-year-old Rodriguez had been christened "Davidito," the young prince and future prophet of the Children of God -- a freewheeling religious sect founded in the late 1960s by Oakland native David "Moses" Berg.
But heading west into the desert last Saturday night in his Chevy Cavalier, all Rodriguez could think about was whether to kill himself. Or someone else.
He pulled out his cell phone.
At Elixcia Manumel's Seattle apartment, the phone rang. She was not surprised to hear the drowning voice of her husband on the other line. It had been only a matter of time, she told The Chronicle, before Rodriguez committed suicide.
Rodriguez had disavowed the Children of God, now called the Family, five years ago, but he could not escape his own demons. His mother had set up the toddler for sex acts with his nannies -- all part of her being a missionary for the international evangelical sex cult.
The former "Jesus baby" blamed his mother and was obsessed with revenge. On a Web site for former Family members, he proclaimed: "Something has to be done about these child molesters."
Angela Smith, a former nanny of Rodriguez and confidante of his mother, seemed to be an easy target.
"Don't let anyone ever tell you that taking someone else's life is easy. It's not," Rodriguez told his wife on the phone. "It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life."
His wife sobbed.
"I miss you so much. Come die with me," Rodriguez begged her. "All I ever wanted in life was to be loved."
During the spiritual counterculture of the 1960s, Berg embraced a strange brew of evangelical Christianity, radical politics and free love.
By the late 1970s, his secretive cult, the Children of God, would be known as the Family, an "international Christian ministry" with thousands of members living in communes and missionary organizations scattered around the world.
In Berg's search for new converts, he encouraged many female followers to expand the "law of love," which promoted "sexual sharing" among members. They were sent forth into the world as "sacred prostitutes."
They called it "flirty fishing," after Jesus of Nazareth's call that his followers become "fishers of men."
Rodriguez was the only son of Karen "Maria David" Zerby, the current prophetess and spiritual leader of the Family International. Zerby was an early convert to the Children of God who became sexually involved with Berg in 1969.
According to several former members, Rodriguez's biological father was a Spaniard named "Carlos," one of many "flirty fishing" recruits who did not stick around long after their initial encounter with Children of God missionaries.
But that didn't stop Berg from taking Ricky as his own spiritual son when the boy was born in 1975. Berg proclaimed the infant "Davidito" and anointed him the future prophet and spiritual leader of the Children of God.
"Davidito was almost like a mythological creature when we were growing up, '' said Jonathan Thompson, who was born into the cult two years after Ricky. "We were given comics and story books with prophecies about how he would one day take over the world as one of the two witnesses written about in the Book of Revelation.''
For his entire life, Rodriguez had lived in the secretive inner circle that clustered around his mother and Berg. They were always on the move -- Greece, Spain, the Philippines.
Most of the sect's thousands of members never knew where the leadership was located. They communicated with their far-flung flock through a series of missives entitled "Mo letters" and "Mama's Jewels."
Former members say there was rampant sexual activity in Berg's inner circle among adults, teenagers, children and even toddlers.
Some of that sexual fondling was described in a Children of God publication, "The Story of Davidito," which was given to adults and children as an activity to emulate.
One scene describes sexual activity between the 20-month-old Rodriguez and another one of his nannies.
Other pages show pictures of "Davidito" lying in bed with naked teenage girls.
"We were sexually abused from a very young age,'' said a former "playmate" of Rodriguez who has left the group. "It was a lot sicker than they wrote about in the book. It was very morbid. We were the guinea pigs of our era."
Rodriguez was a bit older when Berg, his spiritual father, came up with the idea of "Teen Training."
Young teenage girls selected on a rotating basis would be sent to the boy's room for sex.
"Of course, I didn't have to have my arm twisted for that,'' Rodriguez would write years later. "But I must say it was a bit awkward -- especially since I was much younger than most of them were, and I could tell that a couple of them were uncomfortable with it.''
Rodriguez was about to turn 21 when he met his future wife, Manumel. This time she was the younger one, age 16, and one of the growing army of second- generation members of the Children of God.
"We clicked right away," said Manumel, who went by the name "Nicole" when she was in the Family. "We knew we were different than everyone else. He took me in his arms and said he would take me away."
And that's exactly what he did. In 2000, Rodriguez could no longer handle being "Davidito." He had to escape.
Rodriguez and Manumel tried to settle down in Seattle, but their marriage wasn't working.
"It was hard for Rick to be with me," Manumel sad. "I was going to medical school, and it was hard for him to see me doing so well. I had found a way to move on with my life. He just couldn't do it.''
Rodriguez moved to Tucson, where he was trying to get his life back together. But according to Manumel, who is now a nurse, and others who knew him, he was determined to get back at his mother, his nannies and others he blamed for his early sexual abuse.
According to Manumel, Rodriguez had not seen his mother since 2000, when "The Unit" -- as the inner circle was called -- had landed on the southern coast of Portugal. By this time, Berg had died.
Rodriguez began meeting with other disgruntled second-generation members of the Family, and writing postings on their Web site, www.movingon.org.
"Someone needs to put an end to it," Rodriguez wrote in an Aug. 14, 2004, posting, ominously titled "Still Around."
"Because only then can we feel some semblance of justice."
His opportunity for "justice" came when Rodriguez learned that one of the nannies in the "Book of Davidito" was staying in Tucson.
She was Angela Smith, just 18 years old when she joined the Children of God in the early 1970s.
In the book, she is photographed with the toddler prophet. In another photo, she lies naked and seductive in a bathtub with another of the child's teenage nannies.
According to several former members, Smith served in recent years as the personal secretary of Rodriguez's mother, Zerby.
Smith also was on the board of several organizations with ties to the Family, including the Family Care Foundation, a California nonprofit public benefit corporation in the San Diego area. She was also on the board of Elder Haven, a Tucson nursing home run by some of Zerby's relatives.
According to police, Rodriguez learned that Smith was coming to Tucson for an Elder Haven board meeting, and he arranged to meet her for dinner.
"She was the first person he had access to,'' said Manumel, Rodriguez's wife. "He wanted people closer to his mom, but Angela just came along. He wanted to get other people, but he was just too exhausted. Angela was (his mother's) eyes and ears.''
Police in Blythe (Riverside County) found Rodriguez's body parked in the driveway of the Palo Verde Irrigation District, dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
Authorities called the last number on the dead man's cell phone. Elixcia Manumel answered. She suggested that someone go over and check out Rodriguez's Tucson apartment.
On Sunday morning in Tucson, homicide Detective Benjamin Jimenez drove over to Rodriguez's apartment on North Los Altos Avenue. Smith was dead on the floor.
It was a murder-suicide, former Family members say, spurred by the haunting echoes of a life wrecked by sexual, psychological and religious abuse.
On Friday, a video that Rodriguez made the night before he killed Smith surfaced in which he displays his weapons and talks about the abuse he and other kids suffered in the Children of God. "Unfortunately," said one defector who saw the tape, "there's a rallying cry of sorts for others to 'take out' their perps."
Attempts to reach Angela Smith's family were unsuccessful. The Family keeps secret the whereabouts of Rodriguez's mother, and officials at its Washington office did not return phone calls.
But in a written statement, Claire Borowik, a spokeswoman for the Family International, said Smith's "memory has been slandered by individuals who never met her, nor knew Ricky Rodriguez throughout his entire childhood.''
After leaving the Family in 2000, the statement said, Rodriguez "became estranged from his mother" and "began to manifest violent tendencies.''
"In searching for a motive for this tragic crime," Borowik said, "journalists should take care to not casually write off Angela's death and justify the actions of an obviously disturbed young man."
Borowik goes on to say that "Family leadership officially addressed ... questionable past actions of individuals regarding discipline, education or sexual misconduct," adding that "apologies were published" and "Ricky Rodriguez received ample financial and emotional support to assist him in his transition."
Yet in his August posting on www.movingon.org, Rodiguez made it clear that his transition to the real world was not going well.
"No matter how much longer I live, the first 25 years of my life will always haunt me,'' he wrote. "I was so brainwashed with 25 years of s -- that I had no idea which end was up. I just knew that I had to get away from my mom. ''
E-mail Don Lattin at dlattin@sfchronicle.com.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from justagirl
Saturday, January 15, 2005 - 10:21
(Agree/Disagree?)
I find it sad that we, no longer being family members have so much hate as a whole. I understand we have been through hell in our lifetime, I for one have. But why the hate? In the longrun that's what's going to kill us. I believe there is justice out there for those who have wronged us...somewhere. Hating will not get us there any faster.
(reply to this comment)
| From karenyna
Monday, January 17, 2005, 12:54
(Agree/Disagree?)
I toltally agree with you. we were all victims of this society, but its up to us to change our destinies and live our own lives, so many systemite kids grow up with drunk abusive parents too I really think thats not an excuse. hatred really fulles hatred. We have to get the anger out. We don´t need abusive hatred,lets act practically, use our contacts around the world, we all know eachother, get all together and track em down. we owe that much to him...who cared so much for all of us.
k(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | from Haunted
Saturday, January 15, 2005 - 09:12
(Agree/Disagree?)
Well, SOMEBODY messed up this poor boy enough that he committed an act as brutal as he did!
Zerby/Smith, I am one of your most "vicious apostates" - my name is Joni Bogle - put that on your lists of names. I have also been around my former members who hate you and are trying to bring you down and yet not a one has influenced me to act violently! Ask any of them, I'm the biggest "liberal, pacifist, pansy, peacenik" out there.
The only thing however, that makes my blood boil is when I think of the years it took me to overcome the abuse I suffered at the hands of your cult and to learn to have confidence in myself despite all the years when you told me I was nothing and worth nothing and beat out of me every thought I had that I was an individual with intelligence and worth.
Ricky was an innocent child whose life you ruined! As a mother I am well aware of what goes into shaping a child's psyche, shame on you!
Rest in Peace dear Ricky, while I cannot condone what you did, I understand the driving force behind your actions and acknowledge that you were mentally tortured to the extent that you felt you had to lash out in this way.
My heart breaks for each and every one of my generation who bravely try (and some fail) daily to work through the tattered remains of our lives and create new and wonderful members of society.
Invictus
OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley. 1849–1903
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | | | | from LTN'S
Saturday, January 15, 2005 - 00:56
(Agree/Disagree?)
Where Is The Love of a Mother?
I'm a parent and all my children are finally out of TF. I won't go into my history here but what breaks my heart is that in all the communication coming out of TF over this sad incident there is not one tiny bit of love shown from dear Ricky's mother for the death of her only son. "Karen, will you be coming to bury your only son?" "Will you be at his grave site to grieve over him?" "Will you be weeping for the loss of your child?" "This is where the change in your heart will begin, at the grave of your child. But, I fear you are too full of fear to be there, to see his body laid to rest, to touch him one last time. No, you're too spiritual for that, aren't you? You're too spiritual to go to the grave to weep. More spiritual than the Lord Himself, aren't you. Oh, how sad it is for all our children who have died and who will continue to pass on without the love of their mothers, their fathers. So many parents still so blind to the pain and anguish that our children still suffer. Too blind to really reach out and be the loving parent that God intended for us to be. How sad that The Family has become a great destroyer of the family. But, you'll spiritualize even this, right? You've got your justification for your actions. You know you're right, right? You're so right. How sad you are and what a pitiful site you are. So miserable and scared in your rightness. You heart is so small, your love is so limited, your perspective so short. You live a life comparing yourselves among yourselves, seeking approval from one another instead of listening to the still small voice of truth being spoken by your own dear child. Your own babe that's opened his mouth in a desperate cry to bring the truth to your doorstep. But, you live in darkness and despair. You live in a hole in fear of God's light and His truth. Fearful that it will shine upon you and expose your hypocrisy and sins."
(reply to this comment)
| From di
Saturday, January 15, 2005, 21:30
(Agree/Disagree?)
I agree. I am compelled to remind you that this is the woman who was sitting at Berg's feet, nodding and "Amen-ing" when he not only cast his judgement on a poor family whose mother had been raped and killed in front of her children, but he sympathized with the rapist! - blaming the mother for ruining his life!!! What insanity! The following are quotes from the letter Irfers Beware:
10. They obviously weren't whole-hearted or totally sold out for the Lord, or he could have at least been tithing ...If they had at least been tithing or serving the Lord fulltime, they would have been more in the will of God . ...There's no point in our trying to take money from out of the poor fulltime missionaries mouths who really need it, & their children, & are serving the Lord fulltime, to send to some backslider because his wife got killed! (Luke 9:62 -- They'd left the field!)
16. ...She must have resisted [the rape] so she was disobeying the Letters right there. ・17) And that husband is suffering too, probably for letting them both get out of the will of God.
23. ...Look what she did to the poor murderer! She not only lost her life, but he's going to probably lose his because she resisted ! ...(26) The Lord must have known that she was not going to be a good mother for those kids ...(28) She may have reaped what she sowed and got what she deserved.
30 God could have prevented it, but he didn't. So it must have been His will. ... (44) I almost feel sorry for the poor murderer. His life is ruined now.
45. I tell you, when you don't give, God takes a collection! If she wasn't willing to give her life or her time or her money or her children or her husband or her love or her body to the Lord for His Service, it looks like God took a collection and she lost it all! -- She lost everything she went home for & died a tragic death. I could almost bet my bottom dollar she was a backslider at heart!
And now the Family statement says that Angela was "taking a furlough from the Family for a few months." I can see it now.... "So THAT explains everything...."
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| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | from thank you
Friday, January 14, 2005 - 16:01
(Agree/Disagree?)
Thanks whoever is posting these memos from Smith and Smith. It's a great help to see what they are feeding Family members.
(reply to this comment)
| from Latest from WS
Friday, January 14, 2005 - 15:41
(Agree/Disagree?)
Notice from Mama and Peter -- January 14, 2005
Dearest Family,
Thank you for your continued prayers for us. We are praying for you as well.
We wanted to let you know that we are working on putting together some of the abundant instruction, counsel, and comfort that our Husband has poured out about the situation with Ricky (Pete, Davidito) and Angela, and we will be posting it for you on the MO site via GNs as soon as we can. As you can imagine, there is a lot happening right now that we have to attend to, but we wanted you to know that we have a lot of counsel from the Lord to share with you, and He has given answers and insight that help to shed light on this situation and will help us learn from it all we can, as well as partake of His perspective and comfort.
Mama and I want to thank those of you who have heard from our Husband for us and sent us the messages you received. We have been so encouraged by them. We’re very thankful that you have taken the time to do it, not only because of the great encouragement they have been to us , but also because the Lord has been able to speak to you and comfort you and help you to have His perspective on the matter, which is very important.
There is a lot of confusing information floating around about this situation, and there are some people who are exploiting this tragedy and trying to use it to their own ends to hurt Mama and me and the Family, and tear down our work for the Lord. Some of our detractors are trying to get as much mileage out of this situation as possible. As always, it’s your choice whether you’ll listen to those who are bent on destroying the Family, or whether, as a strong disciple, you’ll turn to our Husband and open your channel to Him to receive His perspective and counsel.
It’s natural to be curious about the details in a situation like this, but please be aware that you’re not going to find out the truth via the news media or the Internet. Unfortunately, the media is being contacted and fed extensively by some of our most hostile apostates; the reports in the newspapers are for the most part not giving the full picture, nor are they referring to the official studies credible academics have done and published on the Family.
Mama and I are interested in the truth, and we want to give you the truth. We are working on finding out what happened, so that we can inform you of the full story and also give you God’s mind on the matter. However, the media is being stirred up by rhetoric from our apostates and detractors, who are using this situation to their own ends.
I find it nearly unbelievable that some of our detractors will stoop to such low levels to blame Mama for what happened. Mama is the sweetest, most loving person I know, and has lived to give and sacrifice for others for as long as I’ve known her. And at a sad time like this, some people have the nerve to say that Mama deserves this, that it’s her fault. They’re trying to make Ricky look like an innocent victim, and even a hero and role model, ignoring the fact that he actually murdered someone. No matter what his motives might have been, and no matter how overcome by the Enemy and forces of darkness he was at the time, that does not justify his killing someone.
Ricky was 29 years old. He made his own decisions—decisions that Mama had nothing to do with. To the contrary, Mama went to every length she could to love Ricky, to try to communicate with him, and to pray for him. This turn of events is very sad for Mama and me; we never wanted Ricky’s life to turn out this way. But it did, because of his choices.
We explained briefly in the first notice posted on the MO site the events that took place surrounding this tragedy, but for those who have heard bits and pieces here and there from the news media and would like more of the full story, this is what happened.
At the time of her death, Angela was not in the Family. She had written Mama and me about a month ago, explaining that she was taking a furlough from the Family for a time. Approximately two months ago, she had left the mission field she was on, and had gone to help her aunt in the U.S. She was living in her own apartment in California. She was favorable and kept in touch with some of our staff and others in the Family who she was good friends with, but she wanted to travel around and have some time to think about what she wanted to do with her life. She wasn’t sure how long she wanted to have a break, or what her long-term plans were.
Ricky was at the time living and working in Tucson, Arizona, and had been there for several months. He was in contact with Mama’s relatives who live there, and had spent time with them over Christmas; he was friendly with them. He had recently gotten a job as an electrician. We had been praying for him to find something that he was happy doing. Communications from Ricky were non-existent in recent years and ours were limited to sending him Christmas or birthday greetings. Our last communication was when Mama and I sent him a card and present this past Christmas.
Saturday night, January 8th, Ricky and Angela met for dinner. Angela was in Tucson on a visit. She was on the board of directors for the elderly care home that Mama’s relatives run, and twice a year when they would hold board meetings, she would travel there to attend. While there she would do what she could to help out. During this last visit, she wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to visit Ricky. She and Ricky had been friends before, so they made plans to go to dinner. She was not going on our behalf, nor did she have any message to give to Ricky from Mama or me. It was something she wanted to do. Mama and I were not involved.
At some time in the evening, we believe after they had dinner, Angela and Ricky went to Ricky’s apartment where he stabbed Angela to death. Then he drove to Blythe, California where he checked into a motel, and made some phone calls, then left the hotel, drove some distance away and then shot himself. He was found in his car in a parking lot early Sunday morning, dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. In one of the calls he made before he died, he apparently asked the person he was talking with to alert the Tucson police to check his apartment. Later the police found Angela’s body in his apartment, she was dead.
Mama and I, as well as the other relatives, were notified on Sunday, and on Monday stories started running in the Arizona and California newspapers.
Over the next days we began to hear from a number of different people that Ricky had made a video which he wanted sent to certain people. We have not yet seen this video, nor at this time do we know what it contains, though it is our understanding that he filmed it shortly before meeting with Angela and that it made reference to his intentions to do her harm.
Ricky had made public reference to doing harm to Mama and me in the past. In 2002, he posted on the site how he thought of returning to Portugal, finding Mama and me, and cutting our throats. Then five months ago on the Moving On site, this subject came up again, in which he talked about destroying the Family, and he was looking for people who wanted to join him in his mission. He said this would “probably involve a great deal of sacrifice, and would best be accomplished, by people who have nothing to lose, such as myself. … someone needs to put an end to it because only then can we feel some semblance of justice.”
Our detractors and ex-members are saying that Angela had gone to see him as our representative, that she was sent with an “ultimatum” from us, and that it was something she said or did that made him go into a violent rage and kill her. While we don’t know what transpired between them that night, we do know that Angela was meeting with Ricky of her own accord, and while he might have looked on her as our representative because she lived with us for many years and was very close to us personally, she had gone to see him of her own volition, and there were no ulterior motives that we know of, nor was she bearing any kind of message from Mama or me or WS for Ricky.
Others of the ex-member camp are saying (and it’s being picked up by the media) that this happened because Angela had abused him as a child, and so he had pent up rage against her. The truth is, Ricky and Angela were friends, or at least had been during their time in the Family. While they were from two different generations, Angela was very youthful in spirit, and when they lived together, they would often hang out or do things together. They had had a mutual friendship, and enjoyed each other’s company on a friendship level.
Angela was also never Ricky’s nanny, as some of the media and our apostates are insinuating. Angela was always a secretary in our Home. Much of the time that Ricky lived with Dad, Mama and me, Angela also lived with us. During all those years that they both lived with us (until Ricky was approximately 20 years old), he never showed any unhappiness with Angela at all. They had always been friends. They did things together. Angela had a boyfriend at the time, and she, her boyfriend and Ricky would regularly do activities such as hiking together, and he never showed any anger whatsoever toward her.
It’s possible that Ricky says on the video that the reason he did what he did is because of the “abuses” he “suffered” in the Family. We will not be surprised if he blames Mama and the Family for the murder, or if he explains this as his deserved “revenge,” but whatever his tack, we must not lose sight of the fact that he brutally murdered someone. That is never, under any circumstances, justified or right! He was not the victim; Angela was the victim. She was a wonderful woman who suffered a cruel and violent death!
As we have explained before, Ricky left our Home on good terms. He and Elixir left WS in early 2000, and continued on in the Family for a few months, first in a Home in Southern California, then at the Activated desk in England, then in Venezuela. Mama and I helped them all we could to get them set up in a Home, we gave them a gift and landing funds, and for several months we continued in fairly close communication with them, and they wrote some sweet letters that showed they were happy and wanting to be in the Family.
It wasn’t until they left the Family, and started having a lot of contact with some very vindictive apostates, that Ricky started coming out with accusations against us, complaints about his upbringing, and demands for money. At that point, Ricky started openly vocalizing his complaints and bitterness, including many that he had never expressed before. His contact with these apostates grew, and so did his complaints. This is the cycle of apostasy which we have explained before. (See “None of These Things Move Me”.) Eventually he told us that he didn’t want to be in contact with us at all, and to please stop writing him. So we respected his wishes with the occasional note at Christmas or birthday. Some time later, he came out with a physical threat in his post on the Moving On site, saying he wanted to find us and physically kill us.
Some of Ricky’s former associates apparently were aware of the seriousness of Ricky’s threats. They had heard him talk about his desire to kill his mother and they knew he had a penchant for knives. We can only assume that they tried, unsuccessfully, to convince him that this was wrong.
Unfortunately, however, there are a few apostates who don’t seem to have a problem with violence--not only tolerating it, but even saying such things as that’s what Mama “deserves” and, “Maybe it's callous to say it, but WTF [what the fuck], if he had to go, he might as well have taken one of the fuckers with him; it's almost too bad he only got one.” Another said: “Yeah it is terrible but I honestly couldn’t give a shit about the fam member/former personal abuser of him. I hope she died knowing why she died.” Or another said, “In Ricky's case, it was no more wrong to kill than it was to remove an annoying splinter from your thumb.”
We’re appalled that these apostates would publicly make such statements, and even more so that those who administrate the ex-member sites would promote such statements by allowing them to remain on their site. I would think that they and those who visit their site would be ashamed to associate themselves with those who speak so ill of someone who was so violently murdered.
There’s a whole lot more to this situation that happened in the spirit, which those of us who are blessed to understand and believe in the spirit world can comprehend—and we’ll be getting more of this information to you in GNs as soon as we can, as I mentioned earlier. But in the meantime I wanted to clear up a few of the rumors circulating, with the facts, for the benefit of those of you who are getting your information from the media. If I were you, I’d be very wary of believing most of the information that is circulating at the moment.
Besides giving you a bit more information on what has happened, Mama and I want to warn you about who you listen to regarding this tragedy. We are trying as quickly as possible to get the Lord’s Words to you on this, but in the meantime, we don’t recommend that you go online to find the “news” and see how things are developing. As more reliable information becomes available, we will communicate further with you.
Here is a short message that we’d like to share with you for your encouragement. This isn’t enough to cover the subject, of course, but as I said, there is more counsel from the Lord coming.
(Jesus:) Even though the Enemy has manifested his power in a very physical way, and desperately wants to cause fear and trembling as you hear of these events, let Me remind you, My brides, that there is nothing that I cannot turn for good in your lives, and in the lives of My children everywhere.
I know you have a lot of questions about how and why, and if it’s even possible for good to come of something like this. But watch and see, for My promises will be fulfilled, and the time will come when the Enemy will rue the day this attack was mounted, for all his intended evil will be turned to good, and he will have only helped to bring about a greater witness, a greater victory, a mighty strengthening. Even though he succeeded in bringing about death, those who died are in My hands, and both went straight to a better place—Angela to her great reward for her years of faithful service to Me, and Ricky to a place where he can slowly turn to face the light and begin to let go of his pride and rebellion, which has caused him so much torment. Both are My children, and though both came Home to very different rewards, yet they are both safely Home, where no harm can touch them again. That is one great and irreversible victory for Me.
This will also bring about persecution, media coverage, and opportunities for greater witness. For those who are ready and obedient, the persecution will bring blessing and open doors to get out the message like never before. It will fill the cups of iniquity of those who fight My children. It will wake up some in the ex-member camp who have been duped by the lies when they see how far the apostates and detractors have gone, to be taking a situation as tragic as this and twisting the facts to their own advantage and breathing out of threatenings. Their strong delusion will become apparent for all to see, and it will save many more from falling into their camp. It will wake up some of My blind and sleepy wayward children and cause them to turn away from the poison of the detractors and their evil words, for they will want no part in it.
It will also be a thundering wakeup call for you, My children of David, who are entering the year of strengthening, and will cause you to grow and mature and prepare in ways you were not anticipating. I will use it in each of your lives.
Many victories will come of this, until like I told you, the Devil will regret the day that he brought this attack to Earth, for it will backfire severely on his own camp, and cause him great defeat.
Be comforted, My loves, and know that I have much to speak to you about on this topic. Come to Me and hear My Words. Shun the ranting of those who have rejected Me and been given over to strong delusion.
Be comforted that as long as you stay close to Me, you have nothing to fear. Be encouraged to know that I will use this to get out the message like never before. Be encouraged to remember that I am a God of justice and righteousness, and the wicked will not go unpunished. Be encouraged to remember that I am the good Shepherd, and My sheep will hear My voice and follow.
What can you personally do to bring about good, you ask? Witness like never before, and give as many as possible the opportunity to receive and know Me personally before the great darkness falls upon all the earth. Prepare for persecution through having a solid witness, through strengthening your testimony, through obedience to Me in your personal lives, and through praying that I will hold back the wrath of man until it suits My purpose. Prepare spiritually through connecting with Me each day, practicing with the new weapons, and training for the war which is already upon you.
And then know, My loves, that though the time you are living in will wax even darker, yet My light will shine forth from you like never before. Though the accusations against you will grow more vile still, yet will your testimony become more and more spotless for all the world to see, and many will be drawn to Me. Though the attacks of the Enemy in both the physical and spiritual realms will increase with intensity, yet also will you be strengthened in spirit to face them fearlessly and without loss or casualties.
There is nothing to fear, nothing to worry about, but much to prepare for. So strengthen your spirits, strengthen your brethren, prepare, for we are at war! The victory is promised to those who persevere. (End of message from Jesus.)
Mama and I love you very much, and we appreciate your continued prayers for all those involved, including us personally. We know it is a miracle of grace that we are able to continue taking care of all that is facing us at this time, and we are thankful for your prayers which are giving us strength and comfort.
Much love in our Husband,
Peter
Here is a rebuttal that one of our Family spokespersons wrote to one of the negative articles that was published. Thankfully, after receiving this information, the same reporter then wrote a second more balanced article.
From Claire Borowik for The Family International
I am writing to express how appalled I am by the coverage your newspaper is giving to the deaths of Ricky Rodriguez and Angela Smith. I believe that it opposes all journalistic ethics, in its one-sided nature and its basis in unsubstantiated hearsay and rumors.
Both these deaths are cause of great mourning and grief to the members of our Fellowship and the families involved, and it is grievous to see them handled in such a callous way.
I would like to clarify the following in honor of Angela Smith, whose memory has been slandered by individuals who never met her, nor knew Ricky Rodriguez throughout his entire childhood. The blatant lack of respect for the loss of Angela's life is appalling--one would think she had committed the crime in this sad tragedy, rather than been a victim.
To set the record straight, Angela Smith was never Ricky Rodriguez's "nanny", nor was she "sent on a mission" to speak with Ricky. She was on an extended furlough from the Family and lived in her own apartment, detached from Family communities. From what she told friends, she believed Ricky to be on friendly terms with her, which is why she visited him. Ricky published several statements in the latter years of his life, after connecting with our vitriolic former members, but never once did he state therein that he had been abused in any way by Angela Smith throughout his childhood.
Ricky Rodriguez withdrew from The Family fellowship in 2000 in order to pursue his education and other interests. Although he departed on good terms, he later became estranged from his mother and sister.
After contacting some of our more vitriolic apostates on the internet, he began to manifest violent tendencies, which were encouraged by this circle of former members. A careful perusal of the site brings up a number of instances where hate and violence are discussed without restraint.
In searching for a motive for this tragic crime, journalists should take care to not casually write off Angela's death and justify the actions of an obviously disturbed young man. Our society is rife with violence--regularly the public is exposed to violent crimes of individuals that act out the violence they witness via the media, and discuss anonymously via the internet. Such crimes are not particular to religious groups; in fact such violence is shocking and entirely unheard of in Family communities.
As Christians, we deplore and are diametrically opposed to acts of violence and the suffering these inflict on innocent people. We believe that human life is sacred, and each person should be respected as an individual created in the image of God. It is our belief that God's love is the solution to all of man's problems, even in such a complex, confused, and highly complicated society as that of today. As Christians, our duty is to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:39), and to share the news of God's love and salvation for humanity and care for the needy.
In 1994, The Family initiated a concerted reconciliation process to attempt to resolve differences with any and all former members who held grievances either from their time in The Family or from the lack of communication with Family members after they departed. In 1994 and 1995, in open letters to former members, Family leadership officially addressed concerns in regard to any questionable past actions of individuals regarding discipline, education, or sexual misconduct that any may have undergone from 1978 to 1985 before clear guidelines were articulated. These apologies were published and have been reiterated in official Family publications over the years. The Family's Charter (first published in 1995) also advises parents to assume responsibility for assisting their children through what can be a difficult transition from a close, nurturing, faith-based support system to an independent secular lifestyle. Ricky Rodriguez received ample financial and emotional support to assist him in this transition.
In 1986, the Family enacted stringent policies to ensure the safety and protection of our children at which point any inappropriate contact between an adult and minor (any person under 21 years of age) was rendered an excommunicable offense. All previous literature underwent careful scrutiny to ensure that it was in line with this position and any questionable publications were expunged.
The Family's success in protecting our children and ensuring their well being has been documented by independent and court-appointed investigations in the early 1990s of almost 700 children living in Family communities. After extensive physical, psychological and educational testing, all of the children were found to be healthy with no sign of abuse in a single case. This total absence of abuse speaks for the efforts made to safeguard children in Family communities.
We would suggest in future that you consult a broader base of third party resources regarding our Fellowship. Several reputable academic books have been published in the last 7 years, by researchers who have studied the Family and their research has been reviewed by their peers. (We would be happy to make these available to you.) None of these people have been contacted, nor has their expertise been sought out. Balanced journalism would require offering us a fair possibility to present our side of the story, as well as consulting unbiased third party sources who have performed serious research on our movement.
(reply to this comment)
| From Ronnie
Saturday, January 15, 2005, 21:10
(Agree/Disagree?)
David Berg's response to his son's suicide about the same as Karen Zerby's response to her son's suicide.
It is never "the prohpet's" responsibility.
If Ricky was half as lonely in death as Paul (Aaron) was, then I am truly saddened... all over again.
The story continues from generation to generation. It's so sad. It's a damn shame.
Peace to all of you.(reply to this comment) |
| | From Regi
Saturday, January 15, 2005, 09:28
(Agree/Disagree?)
To: Smith and Smith (aka Maria, Mama, Zerby, Peter, Kelly, or whatever your names are now),
You show your weakness! Not a hint of responsibility for the son you raised. Not a hint of love for the son you bore, “Mama” Maria!! It’s all his fault, and the fault of the apostates. Your “small” circle of so-called “vitriolic apostates” is actually quite large and growing! The way you kick and step on the wounds of the victims you abused emotionally, psychologically, sexually, and physically as children is only making us all the more angry. We will not use physical violence against you to get our revenge, but BEWARE you will reap what you have sowed.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From Tom
Saturday, January 15, 2005, 11:00
(Agree/Disagree?)
For Claire Borowik, The Family International, Peter and Mama:
It seems to me a letter (or email) from Jesus addressed to the New York Times or the San Francisco Chronicle and, well, why not, the President and the Pope, about Ricky's act would be more effective in clearing the matter up than to just His followers on the Family web site. If Jesus wrote these folks/instituitions and included maybe, just one little prophecy like, say, the name of the next soldier killed in Iraq, or the next official Tsunami victim figure, or simpler yet, who's gonna win the Clippers-Lakers game on Saturday and by what point spread, He'd more effectively, I think, get your message across and put the tragedy of Ricky and Angela behind us. I know Jesus doesn't like to be called to task to prove His powers, but, as in His own times (walking on water, water to wine, raising Laz from the dead and, later, Himself) and in more recent times (Lourdes, Fatima, the Boston Red Sox) He's relaxed his anti-miracle code to reassure the flock. I think this is one of those times. If for no one else, than the memories of Angela and Ricky, who have so recently joined him at Home (though, from His last communication via Peter, it sounds like Ricky ain't having it so easy at up/down? there -- does that mean that he's getting a little more abuse at the hands of that nasty Satan? Maybe Martyr Angela's been given another go at his genitals...her "reward," his "punishment"?)
Whatever the case, I think you'll agree Peter, Claire, Mama (Sun Yung Moon?), et. al., desperate times deserve desperate measures. So let's hear it straight from the horse's mouth -- to the newspapers -- whaddaya say Lord? A little missive DIRECTLY TO THE EDITORS OF TWO OF THE NATION'S MOST INFLUENTIAL NEWSPAPERS with a little miracle thrown in for good measure.
I think in the very least Saint Angelea and Fallen Ricky deserve it.
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | From Big Sister
Friday, January 14, 2005, 22:53
(Agree/Disagree?)
Buried in the middle of all this offensive rhetoric is this surprising assertion: "Over the next days we began to hear from a number of different people that Ricky had made a video which he wanted sent to certain people. We have not yet seen this video, nor at this time do we know what it contains, though it is our understanding that he filmed it shortly before meeting with Angela and that it made reference to his intentions to do her harm."
If true, it implies that there was pre-meditation.(reply to this comment) |
| | From
Friday, January 14, 2005, 23:05
(Agree/Disagree?)
January 15, 2005
Murder and Suicide Reviving Claims of Child Abuse in CultBy LAURIE GOODSTEIN
rowing up in the 1970's in a religious cult known around the world as the Children of God, Ricky Rodriguez was revered as "the prince." The group's leaders were his mother and stepfather, and they taught that their son would guide them all when the End Times came.
He was so special that his unconventional upbringing - by a collection of often-topless young nannies - was chronicled in "The Davidito Book," which was distributed to cult members as a how-to guide for rearing children. And children the cult had in multitudes.
Last Saturday in Tucson, Mr. Rodriguez, now 29, invited a former nanny, Angela Smith, to go to dinner. He took Ms. Smith to his apartment, stabbed her to death, went to his Chevrolet, drove west across the California border to a small desert town, Blythe, and called his wife on his cellphone to explain why he had killed Ms. Smith, the police in both states and Mr. Rodriguez's wife said.
Then with one shot from a semiautomatic handgun, the police said, he ended his life.
The group lives on. What was known as a 60's cult that attracted members like the parents of the actor River Phoenix and Jeremy Spencer, the Fleetwood Mac guitarist, is now called the Family International.
A spokesman in Washington, Claire Borowik, described the organization as a Christian fellowship with 4,000 children and 4,000 adult members who lived in 718 communal houses in 100 countries. The group sends aid workers and missionaries to disasters like the recent tsunami. Its musical troupe, the Family Singers, have at various times sung in the White House.
But Mr. Rodriguez's murder-suicide is reviving accusations by former members about routine physical, emotional and sexual abuse that they say they experienced as children.
There is evidence of the practices in documents that the cult's leaders consider so damaging that they acknowledge they twice sent out "purge notices" to their followers with explicit directions about which pages to burn, which photographs to white-out and which to excise with Exacto knives.
Mr. Rodriguez recorded a videotape the night before he killed Ms. Smith and committed suicide. The video, which was provided to The New York Times by Mr. Rodriguez's wife, was taped in his apartment in Tucson and shows him loading a gun and showing off other weapons.
He said he saw himself as a vigilante avenging children like him and his sisters who had been subject to rapes and beatings.
"There's this need that I have," he said. "It's not a want. It's a need for revenge. It's a need for justice, because I can't go on like this."
Mr. Rodriguez is not the only suicide among people reared in the Children of God. Some former members who keep in touch with one another through a Web site, movingon.org, say that in the last 13 years at least 25 young people reared in the cult have committed suicide.
In response to questions, the Family strongly insisted in an e-mail message from Ms. Borowik that the formers members were intentionally inflating the count by including accidents, overdoses and people who are alive.
For the Family International, the latest murder-suicide threatens to revive a past that Ms. Borowik said she thought the organization had put behind it. The Family announced in 1986 that it had changed its guidelines and would excommunicate anyone who had sexual contact with children, she said.
The group survived investigations into child abuse in Argentina, Australia, France and Spain in the 90's. Although some members were briefly jailed, there were no convictions of top leaders.
Ms. Borowik attributed Mr. Rodriguez's crime not to his past, but to his current "peers." She said that when he left the group in 2000, he came in contact with former members who are "virulent vitriolic apostates, which we have a small circle of, who want to do damage to our movement."
They failed to point him in "positive directions," she said.
Mr. Rodriguez's mother, Karen Zerby, known as the Queen or Mama Maria, still leads the Family. Her whereabouts and travel schedule are kept secret, even from most group members, Ms. Borowik said, "because of her spiritual ministry to so many people."
Ms. Zerby refused an interview request submitted to Ms. Borowik.
Mr. Rodriguez's wife, Elixcia Munumel, from whom he had recently separated, said he had spent the last few years trying to find his mother and his half-sister, Techi. He wanted to see his mother prosecuted for child abuse, and to free Techi from the group, Ms. Munumel said.
She said that Mr. Rodriguez had moved to Tucson because he had heard that his mother and half-sister had stopped through there on Christmas 2003 to see his grandparents, who run an old-age home there and that he hoped they might visit again.
"He always wanted to do something to make right his mother's wrong," said Ms. Munumel, who left the Family with Mr. Rodriguez and is studying for a nursing degree. "He felt he owed it to all of those who never got justice.
"I'm not justifying what he did and I'm not saying it was right, because it was a life that was taken. But I want people to understand that what he did was out of pain and hurt and years of that pain building up and not being able to have that weight lifted."
The founder of the Children of God was David Brandt Berg, a son of Pentecostal evangelists. In the late 60's, he attracted a group of hippie followers who styled themselves as revolutionary Jesus freaks.
Ms. Zerby was his second wife. Promoting a gospel of free love, Mr. Berg urged his female followers to go out and offer sex to lure converts, according to histories of the organization. He called it "flirty fishing."
The group hopscotched the globe, and its history has been well documented by scholars. Internal documents that former members provided this last week also fill in details.
In the Canary Islands, Ms. Zerby gave birth to Ricky, whom the group called Davidito. Church documents show that the father was a handsome hotel clerk in Tenerife. Mr. Berg adopted the baby, but he was cared for day to day by a coterie of young female members, including Ms. Smith, the nanny who was killed.
"The Davidito Book" was written by a nanny known as Sara, and it was among the documents that the leaders ordered purged. But some former members saved their copies and sent e-mail excerpts to one another this week in an effort to fathom Mr. Rodriguez's violence.
In several pages of the book that former members sent to The Times, the toddler Ricky is described or else pictured as watching intercourse and orgies, fondling his nanny's breasts and having his genitals fondled. All that is recounted in a tone of amusement and delight.
Ms. Borowik, the spokeswoman, said in a lengthy telephone interview that Mr. Rodriguez had been reared in an atmosphere similar to "a nudist colony," where sexual freedoms were taken for granted. She cited scholars who said the sexual practices appeared to cause no harm to the children and a psychologist who evaluated Ricky as a teenager and found him well adjusted.
"He was never taken advantage of," she said. "Rather he was allowed to explore his sexuality freely. He was allowed to explore as a young boy what comes naturally, and usually in our society, we do not allow such exploration."
In interviews this last week, more than a dozen people who grew up in the cult gave detailed accusations about experiencing or witnessing sex abuse of minors.
"At the time, I didn't think of it as abuse," Peter Frouman, 29, of Austin, Tex., who left in 1987, said in a sentiment echoed by many others. "I had no concept that normal people didn't do this sort of thing. I thought it was perfectly normal for parents to have sex with their children, and children to have sex with each other and with adults.
"When I was 11, I had sex with a 28-year-old woman, and it was with the approval of everyone in the room. I found out later that my mom was watching."
In 2002, Mr. Rodriguez posted a memoir on the movingon Web site saying Mr. Berg, who died in 1994, had sexually abused his granddaughter and daughters. In Mr. Rodriguez's account, the group's founding father came off as a debauched pedophile and his mother as cold and violent toward the children.
Mr. Rodriguez, like others, gravitated to other former members who seemed the only others who could understand the strange world that they had inhabited. Some discussed whether they could work through the legal system to lock up their former abusers. But many said they despaired.
Tracking down people was difficult. Pseudonyms were the standard in the Family, and members often changed their names. They live in isolated, often clandestine, communes all over the globe.
"It happened everywhere - in the Philippines, Japan, Greece," said Celeste Jones, a former member in England. "So where do you go for legal redress?"
Mr. Rodriguez called Ms. Jones in the 24 hours before the killing, saying he could not go on. "I was telling him, "Things will be taken seriously,' but he didn't believe it," Ms. Jones said.
The police said the last telephone call that Mr. Rodriguez made was to his wife, Ms. Munumel. She said he told her he that had done something very wrong, to avenge not himself, but his sisters. He then asked her to call the police in Tucson because he had killed a former nanny.
Ms. Munumel said, "He said the hardest thing for him had been that as she was dying, she didn't understand what she had done wrong."
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | From
Saturday, January 15, 2005, 15:20
(Agree/Disagree?)
What upsets me is the coldness of The Family's comment. Suggesting that there are not enough suicides that anybody should care.
She should also remember that some of us were told that our friends who had left had killed themselves so we would be scared into staying, when the death was from something else. The typical statement was that they had hung themselves, because that would remind us of Judas. Not to mention all the other horrible stories about people who left who turned out to be living decent lives.
My parent called someone else one random day following 9/11 to ask if I was still alive. Then retreated back into radio silence in an unknown location. Because of how this happened there is this picture running through my mind where she tells her leaders, "no, sorry." And my high-renaking abusers can't breath a sigh of relief that another one of their prey is dead because I may still say again: you are lying and you most certainly did reach into my belly and help yourself to my innards and into my brain and help yourself to my peace of mind.
Some overdoses are also suicides. Each time I have been hospitalized I lived, but if I hadn't you could count it as a tentative suicide with definitive results. Other overdoses may not be intentional but I still think they can be a cry for help.
What are the chances that there are other survivors whose loved ones killed themselves who have just not yet stumbled across this site one day while surfing for answers like I did a year after it was made?(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From Fish
Friday, January 14, 2005, 20:36
(Agree/Disagree?)
The fact that they took so long coming up with this makes it very suspect. Not to mention some parts that are clearly BS. WTF is this “furlough” business? Since does the family allow people to take “furloughs”? This type of nonsense is typical of the idiots in WS. They latch on to a pet term while thumbing thru some archaic thesaurus, and proceed to “dazzle” their “sheep” with its misuse. It sounds to me like their attempting to cover their asses by claiming she wasn’t fam at the time. Hats off to Baxter and the others who appalled WS!!(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | From DillingerEscapePlan
Friday, January 14, 2005, 19:32
(Agree/Disagree?)
"Though the attacks of the Enemy in both the physical and spiritual realms will increase with intensity, yet also will you be strengthened in spirit to face them fearlessly and without loss or casualties. " Oh, we're just your children, no loss there, not much of a cusualty huh?
"In 1986, the Family enacted stringent policies to ensure the safety and protection of our children at which point any inappropriate contact between an adult and minor (any person under 21 years of age) was rendered an excommunicable offense. All previous literature underwent careful scrutiny to ensure that it was in line with this position and any questionable publications were expunged." Covering your tracks, what an admission! Lawyers call that a shredding party! And what about jail time? Last I heard molesting a child could land you in prison, Federal Prison, POUND ME IN THE ASS PRISON! Could you please inform me if anyone who molested in the Family, has ever done jail time? Surely Child Protective laws were in place prior to 1986.
"In 1994, The Family initiated a concerted reconciliation process to attempt to resolve differences with any and all former members who held grievances either from their time in The Family or from the lack of communication with Family members after they departed. In 1994 and 1995, in open letters to former members, Family leadership officially addressed concerns in regard to any questionable past actions of individuals regarding discipline, education, or sexual misconduct that any may have undergone from 1978 to 1985 before clear guidelines were articulated. These apologies were published and have been reiterated in official Family publications over the years." Did you send that list to the Federal Authorities? And I say Federal because the Family is NOTORIOUS for crossing state lines!
I could go on and on... but I think you'd have to be in a coma not to get it.
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | From Jerseygirl
Friday, January 14, 2005, 18:34
(Agree/Disagree?)
I am SICK! I am physically ill. My name is Vicky!!! Do you hear that Zerby?? Kelley??? I am not some apostate! I am the daughter of one of your converts that spent the first 21 years of my life in your sick cult--not a sect or NRM or whatever fancy name you want to give it. Your lies and stories will never shut me up. I know your tricks and the lies you use to turn your own sins into the sins of others. If , after all the bullshit you fed us, IF I could still believe in God then I hope he is just as you say and that it is better that a millstone be hung around your neck and you be cast into the sea than to have "stumbled one (or in your case thousands) of my (Gods) little ones". Like some other blind folks in your group have said --"God help us all"--well I say God help YOU!! P.S. I am not cowering in the dark--if you want my address or phone number so you can have specific details when you pray against us just ask--I will be more than happy to give it to you.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | From JeanMooney
Friday, January 14, 2005, 16:16
(Agree/Disagree?)
I can't believe that peter actually has the guts to lie in such an open manner. The only thing he is trying to do is cover his tracks and the family's tracks so that they can seem holy in the eyes of God. Are you really going to tell me that sue wasn't his Nanny? Are you kidding me? Who are you trying to fool? Do you even slightly remember the story of Davidito? How can you possibly lie about so many things in one letter and not feel guilty about it!? How can you really think that you are actually able to talk to God and listen to God and call yourself a Christian when you can't even be truthful to your self. Do you actually know what it means to live by the bible, follow Gods comandments or walk in His light? Do you really think that even if God is looking down at you that He would give a rats ass about trying to deal with a whore as yourself and Mama?(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | from EXFM
Thursday, January 13, 2005 - 12:58
(Agree/Disagree?)
I agree that they should tell the children about what has happened, and tell them in a way that they will understand....maybe sugar-coat it a little. But what I do know from past experience is that even if they try to cover it up the truth is going to come out no matter what, and if they don't tell them the truth and they find out about it and what really did happen..... then those kidz aren't going to believe them anymore and that's just the way it is. You have to say the truth no matter how much it may kill you inside.
This is something that I believe TF has taught all of us, and they should put their words into action, for everyones benefit.
They have to realize that things are just best said the way they happened. These are my thoughts and hopefully some of you will agree with this.
(reply to this comment)
| From ack
Friday, January 14, 2005, 18:56
(Agree/Disagree?)
Let them lie, I hope they continue to do so. Please zerby, lie to the children.
I hope they continue to it exactly the way they have... Because every lie they get caught in is one more word out of her mouth damning her.
We are all living proof (except Ricky) that their lies will be their downfall. And their pathological dishonesty will be the one way ticket out for those still there who are just waiting to leave.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from Mir
Thursday, January 13, 2005 - 03:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
I'm horrified and yet sadly, not surprised about what has happened. Please, let's not judge Ricky... He has carried out a fantasy that most, if not all of us have harboured at some point or another. What a tragedy. The article says that Maria is heartbroken... I don't think that evil bitch is capable of heartbreak- I really don't think she has a heart!
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from More from Zerby and Kelly
Wednesday, January 12, 2005 - 14:25
(Agree/Disagree?)
Latest notice from Zerby and Kelly, taken from The Family's site:
Timely P.S. from Mama and Peter
From Mama and Peter
Dear Family,
Mama and I love you and pray for you, as we know you are also praying for us. Our Husband is helping us and upholding us.
I wanted to post a short P.S. to the timely announcement and prayer request I posted yesterday, regarding Pete (Davidito) and Angela (Joy).
A number of you have written in asking if, when, and how you should explain this situation to your children. When we prayed about it, the Lord reminded us that because everyone in the Family, including the children, knows about Davidito, that it’s important to inform them of his death in an age-appropriate manner. Although it’s vital that the adults and young people who know the full scoop exercise extreme wisdom and prayerfulness by not discussing the situation around the children, Davidito’s death will undoubtedly come up sometime soon or in the future, so it’s better that they hear it from you parents and/or shepherds in a calm, prayerful, wise manner than for the children to find out about it some other way.
When informing your children, of course please go according to your faith and how the Lord leads you to proceed. The Lord gave a few suggestions that you might find helpful in knowing how to present it, which we’ll share with you here.
The Lord said that the children don’t necessarily need to know any details of how Davidito died, nor do they need to know about the connection with Angela. You can simply tell your children that he went to Heaven, and focus on positive thoughts. You might even want to consider combining it with a class or some stories or talk time questions about Heaven, to make it a memorable and uplifting experience for the children. (If your children have already heard the news accidentally, and perhaps more details than they should have, then you will need to pray and ask the Lord how to explain it to them simply and answer any questions they may have.)
If your children ask for more information, or ask how Davidito died, as some older ones may probably ask, you parents/shepherds/teachers should again go according to your faith and what the Lord has shown you to do. Some ideas are that you can either avoid answering, or else say that he just got hurt very badly. This is not lying. This is telling the truth, but not going into details that are unnecessary and inappropriate for younger audiences.
As far as what and how much to explain to your JETTs and junior teens, Mama and I leave that responsibility with you to pray and proceed with what the Lord shows you to do. More background and information from the Lord on the situation will be coming out in the near future, God willing, and in many cases you will want to share portions of that with your JETTs and junior teens, as the Lord leads you. So you might want to give them a more full explanation at some point, or even now. It's up to you to pray about.
As far as dear Angela’s death, the Lord said that if the children didn’t know Angela personally, then it’s better not to even mention her. If the children did know Angela, and the Lord shows you parents and/or shepherds to tell the children about her death, you may do so with wisdom. Again, following the same guidelines above—not getting into details of how it happened, and focusing on her wonderful heavenly reward. Focus on the positive. Talk about Heaven and not about the details. Also, if the children knew Angela, it’s may be better not to inform them of Davidito and Angela’s death in the same sitting, in case a connection is made.
Our Husband promised that He would show you, dear parents and/or shepherds how to present this news without making the children fearful. Much depends on the age of your children, so you’ll have to hear from the Lord for the specifics of exactly how to present it, within the boundaries of these guidelines. We’ll be praying and claiming the keys of wisdom, insight and faith for you.
Love,
Peter
(reply to this comment)
| | | | From Harikari Voodoo Vandari
Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 22:38
(Agree/Disagree?)
Lemme translate this for you dummies.
Do not tell your children the truth. If they hear that Dito murdered Auntie Sue, they would tell that something was seriously wrong. You should lie to them, and make it not sound so bad. If they knew Angela, she died for the lord. Mebbe lukemia. If they didn't know her, she didn't exist. You should tell them before the Vandari get's around to telling them. That way the'd think their older brothers and sisters are lying to them, or simply deceived.
Jesus Christ, this is outright BS, and betrayal to the people that believe in their good intentions. Sheesh. I called up a LOOOOOOTTTTT of people and told them first. Heh heh, they didn't know. They said no way. Heh heh, I sent them all the articles.
We gotta knight Ricky. If you look at it as a murder case by a disturbed young man with a past of abuse, it wasn't right.
If you look at it as Ricky pulling the gun in some Harikari to mark the begining to an end, he deserves some major recognition and memorial.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | From Nancy
Thursday, January 13, 2005, 08:23
(Agree/Disagree?)
Kelley wasn't talking about just five year olds. He referred to teenagers as well. Since when has the cult been afraid to tell horror stories which scare children? They've done it from day one when it suited them. The whole series, what did they call it, traumatic tales or something, was designed to scare children into not leaving the cult or the same horror stories would happen to them. They read us stories about devils and demons and made up names for the demons and drew pictures of what they looked like to scare us all our lives. We were taught to pray to be good, so those demons wouldn't get us.
Now when this tragedy doesn't work to their purposes, then they lie.
You're right sane people don't tell their five years olds about horror stories, devils, demons, death, etc. But, the cult has never been sane. That continues to be evidenced here. Pathological lying is a symptom of a behavior disorder. (reply to this comment) |
| | From damned
Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 04:04
(Agree/Disagree?)
"The whole series, what did they call it, traumatic tales or something, was designed to scare children into not leaving the cult or the same horror stories would happen to them."
TRAUMATIC TESTIMONIES (if you leave you will be, raped, pimped, beat up, addicted etc.)(reply to this comment) |
| | From thinker711
Friday, January 14, 2005, 17:25
(Agree/Disagree?)
How about those family stories telling children that their families will be tortured murder (hell, they even had songs about it). How about them telling little girls that they will one day be raped by antichrist soldiers (i.e. Heaven's Girl). I remember as a kid I was terrified that any day my parents and siblings (and myself) would be tortured and kill. I am sure that the Famliy continues this practice of scaring the shit out of their kids to keep them in line.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | From typical
Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 18:31
(Agree/Disagree?)
but what an expose on their process... "the Lord' doesnt want to inspire doubt we have our spin department on this "hearing form god" on it but in the meantime lets just pretend it didnt happen." we'll get a great GN showing the dangers of listening to the devil, how he can possess even the saved etc. doubts, yieldedness, etc all the usual crap. this is what happens when you think for yourselves and dont blindly swallow our crap etc...(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | From thinkaboutit
Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 14:39
(Agree/Disagree?)
How pitiful! Each kid in each Home is going to get a different variation of the truth -- none of it true. Imagine some kid visiting a kid from another home and getting a totally different spin. And anyone knowing Angela will get yet a greater spin. Everybody gets to construct their own version of reality.
Unbelievable how they try to control everything. They will go to their graves trying to control and manipulate.
Thanks whoever posts this internal stuff. Makes it easier for reporters to do their jobs, and cut through the PR bullshit TF publishes. (reply to this comment) |
| | from Nick
Monday, January 10, 2005 - 11:00
(Agree/Disagree?)
Following is I guess some sort of memo that the family sent out to it's members.
Dear Family,
We love you very much. You are in our prayers. We have some sad news to share with you. It is about Pete (Davidito), our son. (You might know him as Ricky.) Please do stop a minute now to claim the keys of faith, peace and grace, as this is shocking news. I will explain the situation in brief, although we do not know all the details at this time.
Pete had been living in Tucson for the past several months where he had an apartment and a job as an electrician. Recently Gabe and Amy made a trip to California and while there they called him and he seemed quite happy to hear from them, the conversation was positive, and he commented that he would like to see them sometime.
A few days ago Angela, (Joy), a Family member who lived with us for many years, who was visiting in Tucson, and who knew Pete very well, called him and asked to have dinner with him knowing that he had responded positively to Gabe and Amy’s call. The situation is still being investigated, but it looks like, after dinner, they went to his apartment, where Pete killed her. He then drove to California where he took his own life. His body was found Saturday night by the police in California.
WTF dude! Her own son just passes away and they want you to Claim the keys???
(reply to this comment)
| | | | From Blondie_B78
Monday, January 10, 2005, 11:11
(Agree/Disagree?)
Here's the rest of that memo:
"We know the Lord is in control, and nothing can happen except He allows it, so we can trust that He will bring good from this tragedy.
As you might recall, Pete has threatened violence against Mama and me. However, when he left our Home in Portugal years ago, he was positive; he wanted to continue in the Family as a missionary, and did so for a few months. It was only after he had contact with some extremely vocal vindictive detractors that he became so negative. (This process that happens to those who leave new religious movements and become apostates is explained in “None of These Things Move Me”).
If you could please take some time to pray for the following, we’d be very thankful:
--For all the Family members who knew and loved Angela, that they’ll have grace and faith when they hear this news.
--For Angela’s relatives in their time of grief.
--For Elixir, Pete’s former mate--for peace of mind and heart for her, for stability and faith.
--That the Lord will bring about victories through this terrible tragedy.
--That our Husband will help us all to understand that the spiritual warfare has intensified and that we must do all we can to keep ourselves spiritually prepared.
--That our vindictive former members who will undoubtedly try to blame this on Mama and the Family, will realize that they have played a part in this sad situation through their negative influence on Pete and that they will reflect upon it.
--For Mama, Techi and me. The Lord has given us miraculous grace, and we know it’s a result of the keys of mercy and the undefeatable weapon of praise.
Thank you very much! We are depending on your key-filled prayers!
Much love in our Husband,
Peter"
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From Shaka
Monday, January 10, 2005, 12:27
(Agree/Disagree?)
"For Mama, Techi and me. The Lord has given us miraculous grace, and we know it’s a result of the keys of mercy and the undefeatable weapon of praise. "
I'll bet Zerb and her fat pony-tailed sidekick didn't shed one tear, at least no sincere ones. They're probably gleefully planning their next GN series about the dangers of listening to us demon possesed Vandari.
(reply to this comment) |
| | From JohnnieWalker
Monday, January 10, 2005, 11:45
(Agree/Disagree?)
Peter's right. It is time to stop for a moment and reflect.
It is time to reflect on the fact that too many of us have spoken of bringing abusers in the Family to justice and have done nothing.
It is time to reflect on the fact that we -- each of us -- are individuals who do not need to be influenced by other ex-members to come to the conclusion that what many of us experienced as children is something no child should ever have to live through.
It is time to reflect on the fact that it need not come to such horrific circumstances before the perpetrators of abuse in the Family face up to their actions.
It is time to reflect on the fact even when a former member is driven to take such extreme measures to draw attention to the issues faced by so many of us, The Family will more readily blame its former members than pause for a minute to reflect on their role in this tragedy.
I never met you, Ricky. And yet your passing away has affected me in ways neither of us will ever understand.
Goodbye, Ricky.(reply to this comment) |
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