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Getting Through : Creative Writing

My Emo Moment

from fragiletiger - Monday, April 30, 2007
accessed 1198 times

OK I know that, seeing as I just bagged vixen for doing it, it's a bit rich for me to go and change my articule. But hey, the other version sucked.




Their blind adoration for beauty
They adore you, strangely unique
Yet sad, too weird to fit blithely

Cynical, but not unfeeling
Your sanity another sideshow
Madness on display for mocking

Your voice is too loud in their ears
Your laugh is to harsh in their ears
Your words are to vulgar in their ears
Your jokes to bitter in their ears

Never quite right, never quite wrong
The monster of childhood nightmares
A lust for beautiful minds to tear into
Watching them jerk with emotion
(See how I use my words?)

To heal you, to save you
To give them their happy ending
This bottle's done, unnatural violation
That it should be so empty





Reader's comments on this article

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from Kelly
Monday, June 18, 2007 - 14:02

(Agree/Disagree?)
My heart,
I hope you know
If you are happy
That is meaning for me

I want you to know
If you have meaning
That is happiness for me

I want/hope you (to) know
If you are happy
And have meaning

--I’ll never stand in your way
(reply to this comment)
From Samuel
Saturday, June 23, 2007, 05:59

(Agree/Disagree?)

Pay no attention to cheeks, Kelly, I thought your poem was great, even if it is a tad simple. Does poetry have to be complex to be good? I think not.

And Lisa, I don't know when you changed your article, but I like this one better than the one it replaced. You have some talent.

One last thing, Happy Birthday, Moonbeam!(reply to this comment

From cheeks
Saturday, June 23, 2007, 06:50

(Agree/Disagree?)
Oh Sammy, you little turd. That's not what you said in the chatroom.(reply to this comment
From Samuel
Saturday, June 23, 2007, 16:26

(Agree/Disagree?)

I would not have said anything about Kelly's poem in the chatroom, cheeks, as I had not read it yet.

(reply to this comment

From cheeks
Saturday, June 23, 2007, 20:38

(Agree/Disagree?)
Well then, perhaps in the future you will not comment before you read. I do believe there were several people in the chat besides myself, who read what you said. Maybe next time you will double check with what we are discussing instead of adding your two cents and then go and try to take back the silver dollar.(reply to this comment
From Samuel
Sunday, June 24, 2007, 04:55

(Agree/Disagree?)

Cheeks, I was speaking of the poetry in general. It's a bit ironic that you would choose to have this discussion on one of the few poetry threads that has two fairly good poems on it.

But you're right, I do have a habit of forming opinions before I see everything.(reply to this comment

From cheeks
Monday, June 25, 2007, 14:12

(Agree/Disagree?)
I see little irony in calling you out for saying one thing in the chat and another to Kelly. Her poem was not that good. That is a fact. She posted her poetry in the commentary of another persons work. I was not impressed. But this thread was not about her poetry but about you being two faced.(reply to this comment
From Samuel
Monday, June 25, 2007, 17:19

(Agree/Disagree?)

Cheeks,

I still think most of the poetry on the site lately stinks. I just thought Kelly's was pretty good, especially when viewed against the other recent poetry on here. Kelly's poem had a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling to it- and I liked that. I like the kinder, gentler poetry. It appears that you didn't, and you have a right to that opinion.

In contrast, there was a poem posted on here yesterday by an unknown person that looked almost like a suicide note. My hope is that that person was just having a bad day, and this site allowed them to vent their anger and frustration.

(reply to this comment

From Ha,Ha,Ha
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 10:53

(
Agree/Disagree?)
Are you referring to Bang Bang you’re dead—now deal with eternity? Sammy? --This is truly Hilarious! No, it was not a suicide note (though, my use of grammar and spelling may have died for the night)!
(reply to this comment
From Samuel
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 16:41

(Agree/Disagree?)
Yes, that is what I was talking about. Hey, if this site helped you to let off some steam, then I'm happy for ya.(reply to this comment
From Sammy, tell me?
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 13:55

(
Agree/Disagree?)

Sammy, is that what you were talking about??...or should we be worried?(reply to this comment

From mad dreamer
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 10:13

(Agree/Disagree?)
The curious thing about most poetry is that it is utterly meaningless to a person who cannot relate to the emotion being expressed. Even the simplest poem can resonate deeply with someone who believes that the author put into words what they themselves felt but had difficulty expressing.

I for one, like every single one of Kelly's poems so far.(reply to this comment
From placebo
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 11:12

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Curiously enough, that's what backstreet boys fans say to me.They also want to have A.J.'s babies....(reply to this comment
From mad dreamer
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 12:52

(Agree/Disagree?)
LOL! Well for the record, I'm not a fan of boy band lyrics....and AJ's so not my type.(reply to this comment
From placebo
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 10:04

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Yes because Kelly's primary schoolesque stanza outshone other recent works like let's say live-fast-die-young's recent efforts?

If you want "kinder, gentler poetry" may I suggest Blue's clues to you.

Lastly, like cheeks, you're entitled to your own opinion when it comes to the arts, however if you were born in Sparta they would have left you on a hill...(reply to this comment
From Dissonant
Monday, June 25, 2007, 15:09

Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

You are mean and abrasive. I hope your liver hurts.

(reply to this comment

From cheeks
Monday, June 25, 2007, 15:32

(Agree/Disagree?)
Oh please is that the best you come up with?(reply to this comment
From Dissonant
Monday, June 25, 2007, 15:36

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Not at all, it was just the most amusing to me at the time. I find liver pain excruciatingly funny.
(reply to this comment
From cheeks
Monday, June 25, 2007, 15:52

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
How odd. Have you ever had Liver pain? Or is that your expression of what it is like to be sober?(reply to this comment
From Dissonant
Monday, June 25, 2007, 16:29

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Yes, I think I have had liver pain. It was not as funny when I had it as it is when I see someone else with it. I'm not sure if I can answer the last question, I don't know exactly what it means(reply to this comment
From JohnnieWalker
Monday, June 25, 2007, 14:53

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Oh, cheeks. When will you learn that there is a difference between what is fact and what is merely your opinion?(reply to this comment
From cheeks
Monday, June 25, 2007, 15:33

(Agree/Disagree?)

Yeah and my opinion was, it wasn't any good.(reply to this comment

From cheeks
Saturday, June 23, 2007, 20:38

(Agree/Disagree?)

One more thing my name is a proper noun.(reply to this comment

From Doesn't matter
Tuesday, July 10, 2007, 01:59

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
If your name is a proper noun, and you're so bothered about grammar, then why the f*** didn't you capitalize it when you created your account? (reply to this comment
From cheeks
Tuesday, July 10, 2007, 12:50

(Agree/Disagree?)
Ha! You little crapper ashamed of your own name? Don't bother taking to me if you don't even want to use your own name.(reply to this comment
From cheeks
Friday, June 22, 2007, 15:03

(Agree/Disagree?)
What was this supposed to be? Crap?(reply to this comment
from madly
Saturday, June 16, 2007 - 19:55

(Agree/Disagree?)
Hey, frag, do me a favor and post this up on the main site where everyone will see it. It is too good to be left down here. Don’t worry about cheeks, she will get over it when the contractions hit, plus she is a closet poetry fanatic anyway.
(reply to this comment)
From cheeks
Friday, June 22, 2007, 18:01

(Agree/Disagree?)

The comment was meant for Kelly. But please for the love of all things holy do not post poetry on the main site.(reply to this comment

from Kelly
Saturday, June 16, 2007 - 17:03

(Agree/Disagree?)

WTF is up with that?


(reply to this comment)

from Kelly
Saturday, June 16, 2007 - 17:01

(Agree/Disagree?)

i really got something speical from that


(reply to this comment)

from Kelly
Saturday, June 16, 2007 - 17:01

(Agree/Disagree?)

i really got something speical from that


(reply to this comment)

from Kelly
Saturday, June 16, 2007 - 17:01

(Agree/Disagree?)

i really got something speical from that


(reply to this comment)

from Kelly
Saturday, June 16, 2007 - 16:59

(Agree/Disagree?)
Is that how come there is something instead of nothing FT?
(reply to this comment)
from Simon Cowell
Wednesday, May 02, 2007 - 19:13

Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Frag, the poem was very nice. Not a bad start, you expressed how you felt in a beautiful way.


(reply to this comment)

From fragiletiger
Friday, May 04, 2007, 02:29

Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Who gave this idiot thumbs up??

He didn't even post under his own name. (reply to this comment

From Randy Jackson
Tuesday, May 08, 2007, 10:49

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
Yo dog, why you gotta diss him like that. He was givin you props and you was like "Yo, who gave this idiot thumbs up??". Props are props, baby. Don't front.(reply to this comment
From fragiletiger
Tuesday, May 08, 2007, 15:08

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Maybe becuase I'm not desperate for approval? (reply to this comment
From Sigh....
Tuesday, May 08, 2007, 15:42

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
Maybe you should have this thread locked so no more "Idiots" can openly approve of what you wrote. After all, we would hate to have people going around complimenting you under just any old screen name.(reply to this comment
From fragiletiger
Wednesday, May 09, 2007, 15:34

(Agree/Disagree?)
I can do that?(reply to this comment
From Uh huh!
Thursday, May 10, 2007, 12:33

(
Agree/Disagree?)
Yes, Admin can lock it for you. Better yet, you could take this down and cease posting any more "Creative Writing". That way you could sleep soundly knowing that idiots can not even form opinions regarding your prose.(reply to this comment
From fragiletiger
Friday, May 11, 2007, 02:28

(Agree/Disagree?)

Hmm that could work...but then...I would still know they where out there.....and forming opinion willy nilly.......I don't know if I'll ever get a good nights sleep again.

(reply to this comment

From Samuel
Friday, May 11, 2007, 16:49

(Agree/Disagree?)
Oh NO! Lisa, please quit hanging out with Prince c, you're starting to develop his habit for overusing the "." button. :)(reply to this comment
From fragiletiger
Saturday, May 12, 2007, 17:19

(Agree/Disagree?)

you catch on quick

(reply to this comment

From Damn it!
Friday, May 11, 2007, 12:44

(
Agree/Disagree?)

Well you could post something you didn't write, that ought to fuck up the world pretty badly. Think about it.....................Eh?

(reply to this comment

From fragiletiger
Friday, June 15, 2007, 01:21

(Agree/Disagree?)

I'm not sure if this is a clever comment, or if your accusing me of not having written this.

If its the latter then I have to say, it is true I did not come up with every single word or line in this poem. This is actually, a recounting of a conversation I had with a friend whom I love. These words are the ones that went round and round in my head, for a year untill I finally let them out.

(reply to this comment

From fragiletiger
Friday, June 15, 2007, 01:23

(Agree/Disagree?)

In case anyone besides me cares, the lines I didn’t write are:

A lust for beautiful minds to tear into
Watching them jerk with emotion
(See how I use my words?)

This bottle's done, unnatural violation
That it should be so empty(reply to this comment
From Kelly
Saturday, June 16, 2007, 12:17

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

i like that..

you are good with words

(reply to this comment

From idiots anonymous
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 13:01

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
Heh! The part she didn't write you praise for being 'good with words'! Wonderful! The reading comprehension skills on this site continue to be staggeringly pathetic!(reply to this comment
From yes..
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 16:11

(
Agree/Disagree?)
I agree the reading comprehension does suck but that is no surprise--did your mommy and daddy send you to school? It is not excuse but, a damn good explanation! Practice makes perfect—or better at least.
(reply to this comment
From comprehensionally challenegd
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 13:15

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
It's obvious that Kelly was referring to the introductory sentence of fragiletiger's post, dim wit.

Reading comprehension indeed! :P(reply to this comment
From idiots anonymous
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 14:33

(
Agree/Disagree?)
Wow! You are stooooooooooooooooooopid!!!

"In case anyone besides me cares, the lines I didn’t write are:

A lust for beautiful minds to tear into
Watching them jerk with emotion
(See how I use my words?)

This bottle's done, unnatural violation
That it should be so empty"

That's the post that the reader 'Kelly' so grossly commented on, and which you clearly have trouble following along with as well. If you think that the introductory sentence from fragiletiger in the above quoted comment were what Kelly commented on as 'good with words' than you don't follow a comprehensive thought well. If Kelly was commenting on that first line, she has no taste in words and will never appreciate poetry or literature. I personally found that the words Kelly commented on were more likely "A lust for beautiful minds to tear into
Watching them jerk with emotion
(See how I use my words?)

This bottle's done, unnatural violation
That it should be so empty" which tiger mentioned as having plagiarized but can certainly be seen as being 'beautiful words'. If I'm right about what she intended to comment on, then you're doubly the moron. If I missed what Kelly was commenting on, then perhaps she should be more specific. Either way, you're wrong...and an idiot(reply to this comment
From fragiletiger
Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 01:52

(Agree/Disagree?)

As I said this whole for lack of a better word 'poem' is actually taken from a conversation. When I was putting it together, I struggle to find other words that weren't her's to put in their place, but hers fit, they where the end of the conversation, it was a melding of our twos voices, talking both about each other and ourselves. So my questions is, plagiariziem, where is the line drawn? How would you use someone else's words and not have it be plagiriziem? How do you correctly credit them as the author? If you both come up with the idea as in the first line( A lust for beautiful minds to tear into ) and together arive at the words and thought, who has the right to those words? Can you plagerize spoken word?


(reply to this comment

From idiots anonymous
Sunday, July 01, 2007, 15:39

(
Agree/Disagree?)
I wasn't so much accusing you of plagiarizing as I was trying to make the point about following a conscious thought that was in written form, and knowing what was being written. You did follow up your post of the quote by admitting it wasn't (entirely) your words, and so technically you were giving credit to another voice, albeit haphazardly. I happen to have liked the poem, and the lines you 'borrowed' and wasn't commenting on quality of content or a general like or dislike.

I was being a dick. That being said, you can indeed plagiarize spoken word but it can be hard to prove. Like I said earlier, you did give a passing credit to 'someone else', and as such I wasn't really accusing you of stealing someone else's words and thoughts as your own, but trying to make a point about reading something thoroughly before trying to comment, or to at least be clear as to your intentions of what you're referring to when you do comment.(reply to this comment
From comprehensionally challenged
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 14:58

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
Quite right. I am wrong....and intentionally so. My entire comment was tongue-in-cheek. I thought the general absurdity of the comment (not to mention the emoticon at the end) might have made that clear.

Ain't irony a bitch?

:P

(reply to this comment
From kelly said....
Tuesday, June 26, 2007, 16:00

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)

“i like that.. you are good with words”
Why do you assume she was talking to frailtiger? she said "you" –though yes, frailtiger is good with words. Maybe she simply posted in the wrong place or she is referring to frailtiger’s friends words… who knows? (reply to this comment

From .......
Sunday, July 01, 2007, 16:45

(
Agree/Disagree?)
Since when is 'fragiletiger' 'frailtiger'?(reply to this comment
From ........
Monday, July 02, 2007, 07:22

(
Agree/Disagree?)
Redundant! Please, anything new?(reply to this comment
From fragiletiger
Wednesday, May 09, 2007, 15:34

(Agree/Disagree?)
I can do that?(reply to this comment
from madly
Wednesday, May 02, 2007 - 12:39

(Agree/Disagree?)
I wish you would have more of these ‘emo’ moments. If you want to be embarrassed, you are going to have to try a lot harder. That was beautiful. I only wish you had have posted it on the main page, so that cheeks could enjoy it. :P
(reply to this comment)
From cheeks
Thursday, May 03, 2007, 16:31

(Agree/Disagree?)
LOL(reply to this comment

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