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from solemn Friday, July 21, 2006 - 11:05 (Agree/Disagree?) I am so bored here I wish I could die right now Someone kill me please I want a fun job Like one with wild animals Porn would be fun too Not with animals I am not that kind of guy Please don't get me wrong I like animals But not in that way my friends Christ what have I done I sound like a freak I guess I should stop writing It is too late now Great, I am still bored Fridays tend to suck at work There is no releif Haiku does not help I wish it cured my boredom It is of no use (reply to this comment)

From Tinkerbell Friday, July 21, 2006, 15:27 (Agree/Disagree?) Fairy dust has been known to be a fairly reliable cure-all. Want some? (reply to this comment)

From solemn Friday, July 21, 2006, 16:30 (Agree/Disagree?) I dunno, I heard it causes insomnia, or was it that it makes you shrink. Oh hell, I'll take some. (Not to much I've never tried it before)(reply to this comment)

From Tink Tuesday, July 25, 2006, 07:04 (Agree/Disagree?) If you're still bored but not up for fairy dust today, you could try to alleviate some of that boredom by reading this thread: http://www.movingon.org/article.asp?sID=8&Cat=12&ID=3459 There are one or two well-crafted comments in there, I think you'll agree. (reply to this comment)

From solemn Tuesday, July 25, 2006, 08:43 (Agree/Disagree?) Yay, you rock!(reply to this comment)

from roughneck Monday, February 16, 2004 - 00:00 (Agree/Disagree?) these bashed together over stressful weekend. haiku relaxes. No food on the table? Who cares? Charter: pay at least tithe one hundred bucks beaten bloody, abuse? No sweetie, mistakes were made don't be a Daniel educate your children? No. ballooning clowns count cash “professional” bums guilty endtime soldier swing your morphing keyring fear Vandari sabers you forget what you did we do not. Now spend twenty to contemplate big inmate Bubba touches in love. Enjoy penitentiary. Spread your legs honey prostitute yourself for God for gold we shall go Love thy neighbour assault innocent children terror by night Spare not the rod bruise the rotten apples ignore all screaming Immigration crimes smuggle porn through customs gotcher flee bag folks? Turn in your flee-funds WS needs reserves. Trust God! Where is your faith? (reply to this comment)

from steam Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 11:50 (Agree/Disagree?) Voices from the grave Volumes overwhelm Nothing ever said Crystal streams? Rolled gold Pandora’s box Green paper pig Paper Agape Priceless, worthless Translucent light Crowded orgy Heavenly mansion Two plus two is five Bundle that in faith You will do well Sickness = chastisment Eyes that light hurts Weakness now spiritual Interpret literally Obey all Immature leadership Comet Kohoutek I mean Halleys comet, 1993 Make that Y2K WS wants more Begging in rags for food Financial power Heartrenching need Gods dedicated elite It’s my W&R Doubting the latest Predictions unfulfilled Never siad that (reply to this comment)

from Hungry Cold Monday, January 26, 2004 - 19:12 (Agree/Disagree?) Tithe to me children So what you've barefoot toddlers? Mo said make it pay Bitter Vandari Read food or poison as kids Need more white sugar Mistakes, forget them? Elephants never forget Vandari mascot. (reply to this comment)

from sailor Friday, January 23, 2004 - 18:14 (Agree/Disagree?) Abrahim needs vodka Parents need the Word I need counseling Such sweet memories I'm Isaac on the altar Jesus has no rams (reply to this comment)

from ChrisG Monday, December 08, 2003 - 09:49 (Agree/Disagree?) Blood on the snow The white sheets are soiled All things are lawful Beaten like cattle Black and blue marks all over The rod drives sin away Silenced like lambs Bright signs decorate necks Pride comes before a fall Watermelon in my stomach I’ll have my first kid at sixteen God loves child brides Shivering in the cold Trashy pictures in the hand We’re in the last days Empty, unfilled mind Cast the demon of knowledge out The droppings of David are gold Wandering in a maze Aunties, uncles, grandpa, Maria We’re all living one wife (reply to this comment)

from JohnnieWalker Saturday, November 29, 2003 - 23:58 (Agree/Disagree?) Never wrote Haiku Everything has a first time Let’s hope I don’t suck! --------------------------- God’s Endtime Army. Revolution for Jesus. We are not a cult. No using more than Three sheets of toilet paper Double demerit! Law of Love is cool Partner swapping is God’s Will Now fight jealousy Mama needs the cash Send more gifts and offerings Pension fund is low. Prophecy will lead Why are they never fulfilled? Look, God changed His mind. Family disbands Maria has Alzheimer’s Forgot who she is (reply to this comment)

from Cultinvator Friday, November 28, 2003 - 16:08 (Agree/Disagree?) I like it, it's funny and genuinely original! (reply to this comment)

From Cultinvator Friday, November 28, 2003, 16:08 (Agree/Disagree?) Funny we just covered Haiku at my class last week. 575(reply to this comment)

from enigma Friday, November 28, 2003 - 15:12 (Agree/Disagree?) Last week in my English class I had to write some haiku. With all that practice I thought I’d add to this fun post. By the way I didn’t include these in my paper. Somehow I didn’t think the teacher would get it. Tamar draw your pics jesus reveals demons? Boris will sue you. We did not abuse That is what they say to me Past is past? F* you! Apostates we are? Blood dripping Vandari spawn? You’d rather us dead I hate my parents They brought me up in a cult They will regret it mama says send gifts We need your money today Swiss account needs more (reply to this comment)

from For Cacho and Claire Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 23:11 (Agree/Disagree?) I'm 12, you fuck me I'm sixteen you slap me rebellion's witchcraft No greater love has A shepherdess than this, to lend child to husband (reply to this comment)

from banal_commentator Monday, November 24, 2003 - 15:36 (Agree/Disagree?) Can someone please tell me what a Haiku is??? (reply to this comment)

From Banshee Monday, November 24, 2003, 15:58 (Agree/Disagree?) Here are 3 definitions I pulled from the Web. The third is more detailed, and if you go to the link that I got it from, it gives lots of hints for writing Haiku. It's a very fun type of poetry to write. Hope this helps! ;) 1) Haiku is a Japanese verse form that relies on brevity and simplicity to convey its message. It is usually three lines of five, seven, and five syllables, and frequently includes natural images or themes. It is believed to have been first written in the seventeenth century and is based on a Zen Buddhist philosophy of simplicity and the idea of perfection that excludes the extraneous. 2) A Very Brief Definition of Haiku Haiku is a form of poetry that comes out of Japan. As it's practiced in Japanese, it consists of 3 lines of 5, 7 and 5 syllables. In English, people often compose haiku poems more loosely with less syllables, because the Japanese language sometimes takes more syllables to say something. The images in haiku should be concrete, leaving profound concepts unsaid, but perhaps somehow evident to the reader in a non-verbal way. The reader should discover the meanings in the poem for him- or herself. In the fall the leaves Turn to colors at night for They are beautiful Fall is a big ball Always bouncing up and down Leaves flying around 3) Definition of Haiku 1) An unrhymed Japanese poem recording the essence of a moment. Nature is combined with human nature. It usually consists of three lines of 5/7/5 (5 onji in the first line, 7 onji in the second line, and 5 onji in the third line) totaling seventeen onji. 2) A foreign adaptation of 1, usually written in three lines totaling 17 syllables or LESS. As you will notice, there are two definitions. Definition #1 is where many get confused. People tend to confuse onji with the English syllable. This is like comparing apples to oranges. Onji cannot be compared to syllables. Unless you are Japanese, have been writing Japanese, or speak fluent Japanese, you will be writing definition #2. The difference between the two is that in definition #2, you will be writing three lines of poetry, 17 syllables or LESS. This means you do not have to write three lines of 5/7/5 (5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second line, and 5 syllables in the third line). You may do so, if you can do it well without fluff words (many can't). If you write 5/7/5, that does not make your poem more of a haiku than someone who does not write 5/7/5. An ideal haiku should be short/long/short - but that depends on the haiku itself. There is nothing wrong with 5/7/5, if that is what you want to write. However, the majority of modern haiku in most of the journals are not 5/7/5. That doesn't mean that it doesn't have its place. However, it is all "haiku," not "haiku" and "other." It's just haiku. If you like, you can refer to 5/7/5 as "traditional" -- but even that is not entirely accurate, as it is quickly becoming more traditional to veer away from 5/7/5. The plural of haiku is also haiku, NOT haikus. After you have been writing and studying haiku for a while, you may be ready to break a rule. This is fine, if it is needed to improve the quality of an individual haiku. However, before breaking any haiku rule, you must learn and practice the rules. Then after you are more experienced, you can determine which rule, if any, you want to break on occasion. Break rules out of experience, not inexperience. http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/haiku/haiku.html(reply to this comment)

From ChrisG Monday, November 24, 2003, 21:55 (Agree/Disagree?) Thanks, Banshee, for doing research on Haiku. I got a bit mixed up (as is evident from my post below) as to what it means, but now that I know I will have a go at writing some during the next few days. (reply to this comment)

From banal_commentator Monday, November 24, 2003, 16:07 (Agree/Disagree?) Those genius Japs: they have a different way of presenting art that is indirect and understated but somehow more powerful. Thanks Banshee(reply to this comment)

From Jules Monday, November 24, 2003, 20:51 (Agree/Disagree?) Just wanted to say BC, for not knowing what a Haiku was, you caught the essence of it brilliantly. Alby, as always, you rock. "Sweet illiteracy " absolutely brilliant. Where is Joe H? This should be right up his alley (it's all about the meter).(reply to this comment)

From Joe H Tuesday, November 25, 2003, 17:21 (Agree/Disagree?) I don't really care for haiku, I think the Japanese should have stuck to beer and electronics. Ooh I could use a Kirin right now!(reply to this comment)

From banal_commentator Wednesday, November 26, 2003, 17:42 (Agree/Disagree?) I think JoeH is even more of a banal commentator than I am. (reply to this comment)

From Jules Wednesday, November 26, 2003, 19:08 (Agree/Disagree?) Drop the "b" and that's the Joe we know and love. (reply to this comment)

From Joe H Monday, December 01, 2003, 12:22 (Agree/Disagree?) Ah yes, so true.(reply to this comment)

From banal_commentator Tuesday, November 25, 2003, 00:09 (Agree/Disagree?) yeah, unspoken implications are innately appealing to me. I think art is always better when its not in your face or straining to "touch" you. (reply to this comment)

from Albatross Monday, November 24, 2003 - 11:46 (Agree/Disagree?) Ah..... Who can resist Haiku time? (a response to Jules's third Haiku) Yes..we still have sex But Viagra is not cheap And our brood has fled Burning system books Oh, sweet illiteracy Thank you, firepit Faith of my fathers Rusty blades cut raggedly Hand me a clean knife These god's and monsters It's far to dark inside this well to tell them apart Jesus loves me so But get him off me for now He's crushing my smokes Water runs uphill Linkletter speaks before the grave FUCK ME Mocumba Santa Cruz Cali. Comes any good thing from there? ABDICATE! Peter! Old Man of the mount leave the little girl alone you have my mother. And not a Haiku but with thanks to Omar Khayyan A loaf of bread A Jug of Sherry And Berg. Albatross (reply to this comment)

From Holon Monday, January 19, 2004, 15:05 (Agree/Disagree?) OMG Daniel, Loved the one.... Yes..we still have sex But Viagra is not cheap.Now thats comedy!I have tears from laughing over that one!(reply to this comment)

From Joe H Monday, December 01, 2003, 19:15 (Agree/Disagree?) These are definitely the best ones Dan. Though I'm not a huge fan of haiku, I especially liked the "rusty blades" and "sweet illiteracy" ones. Good work.(reply to this comment)

From anovagrrl Friday, November 28, 2003, 08:31 (Agree/Disagree?) ROFLMAO(reply to this comment)

from ChrisG Saturday, November 22, 2003 - 22:44 (Agree/Disagree?) I started writing one to the song "My Life Got Cold", and this is what I (with the help of my husband) came up with for the first verse (chorus left as in the original): We prayed as we ate As we listened to the freaks And waited for our time of day We chalked up because we talked We missed get-out because we walked Cause we didn't do things their way We read letters as we choked From an old perverted bloke As we hid what was on our minds 1993 was the date He had prophesied our fate We were running, were running, were running Out of time My life got cold It happened many years ago When summer slipped away So chill now oh We’ve got many years to go So take it day by day (reply to this comment)

from Jerseygirl Saturday, November 22, 2003 - 18:26 (Agree/Disagree?) I nominate this for article of the month. True comedic genius -- Banal's as well. Good work folks! (reply to this comment)

from banal_commentator Saturday, November 22, 2003 - 01:34 (Agree/Disagree?) What's a Haiku?? Jesus tells us it will rain But next day sun shines Sweet Jesus tests our faith We molest our children Now the police bang on our door That damn devil again Tell teenagers go for gold Single mothers now on our hands Did I not give you a choice my children? (reply to this comment)