|
|
 |
|
Getting Through : Creative Writing
Smoke in the Vent | from dave - Friday, July 11, 2003
accessed 1208 times A piece I wrote about a guy who hates his ex-girlfriend so much for having left him, she kills herself when he refuses to take her back. Down in the basement
Down with your attitude
There’s smoke in the vent
Since you lit that fuse
Out of my basement
I’m tired of your attitude
There’s smoke in the vent
Since you lit that fuse
I’ve been hoping that you would die some day
I’ve been wishing that you would collapse some day
Down in the ocean
Drown in the deep
I reject your emotion
Though you’re on your knees
Down in the desert
Down in the dust
Remain there forever
‘Till you turn to rust
I hear your voice the basement
Now you’re down on the floor
There’s smoke in the vent
And blood on the door
(c)Copyright May 2003 by David A. Rugely
|
|
|
|
|
Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from WildChild
Wednesday, August 25, 2004 - 04:46
(Agree/Disagree?)
Guess what?
I'm not dead, never will be!
Trash the past André, and live in the present, or you will become like it : one piece of rotten, worm-infested, bitter shit!
(reply to this comment)
| from Joe H
Tuesday, July 15, 2003 - 00:02
 (Agree/Disagree?)
I like it! I think you should elaborate more and tell a whole detailed story, keeping that sense of rage present the entire time.
(reply to this comment)
|
|
|
|
|
]
[About the Trailer Park] [Who Links Here]