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Getting Through : Lighten Up
Good Questions? | from Lance - Monday, September 23, 2002
accessed 2293 times I pulled these off an e-mail just like much of the material in this section, just in case some of you are thinking that I am either really bright or exceptionally corny.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
going to look up there anyway?
Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't
he just buy dinner?
Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion
stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is
wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from neez
Wednesday, September 25, 2002 - 04:05
(Agree/Disagree?)
If quizzes are quizzical, then tests are definately testicle.
Great stuff.. I'll have to remember that one.
(reply to this comment)
| from porceleindoll
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 19:46
(Agree/Disagree?)
That was too funny! Had a good laugh!
(reply to this comment)
| from JoeH
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 19:13
(Agree/Disagree?)
Jimmy cracked corn tells the story of a slave whose master Jimmy fell and cracked his head, about which the slave seems to be either indifferent or elated, you be the judge.
(reply to this comment)
| from Craven loves PHP
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 18:23
(Agree/Disagree?)
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
It was Noah, he claimed he was drunk but most just thought he was a perv.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Because toasters reached the peak of their technological advancements 5 min after they were invented.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Because the glass would crack more easily.
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
going to look up there anyway?
Because imagination beats out reality, let them savor the moment.
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion
stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is
wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
Because we're too lazy to count but touching paint is easy.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Absolutism and morality does indeed come from morons.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from Elsie
Monday, September 23, 2002 - 23:18
(Agree/Disagree?)
The Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star are both set to the Mozart
tune "Ah Vous Dirai-je Maman."
(reply to this comment)
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