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from Isn't the joke a bit old? Thursday, November 30, 2006 - 14:57 (Agree/Disagree?) What Clinton SHOULD have said... Members of Congress...people of America.... I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven't been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I haven't tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and Shalala, mostly because they're a little older than I like and they have legs that former Houston Oiler Earl Campbell would envy. Which isn't to say I don't appreciate Hillary... I do. If not for the ice-water coursing through her veins, I'd be pumping gas into farm equipment in Hope, Arkansas, and she'd be married to the President. So, let me set the record straight. I dodged the draft, hid FBI files, smoked dope, flipped Whitewater property, set up a new Korean wing in the White House, fired the travel staff, paid hush money to Hubbell, sold the Lincoln bedroom like an upscale Motel 6, and grabbed every butt that entered the Oval Office. Got it? Good. Six years ago, there's not a man, woman, or child who didn't know I was as horny as Woody Allen. But, you elected me anyway, which turned out to be a good move on your part. Your other choice was Bush, an aging baseball player and part-time resident of some place called "Kennebunkport" who thought he could bomb his way into the White House. Before him, it was Reagan, who left the office with the same Alzheimer's he came in with. There was Carter before him who brought you a 17% prime interest rate, smiling the whole time like his lithium drip had just kicked in. Nixon before that coined, but never really understood, the concept of 'plausible deniability,' and almost got a one-way ticket to San Clemente for his crackerjack style of governing. Johnson was an inbred, power-mad war criminal whose major contribution to American society was Agent Orange. And John Kennedy, who was a little naughty himself, didn't hang around long enough for America to spot that curious atavistic tic for "beaver-wrestling" shared by at least a dozen former residents of the White House. Which brings me back to my point. Since I have been strumming the banjo here at the White House, government is doing more for less. The budget is balanced for the first time since JFK did a one gun salute to Marilyn, a fact the press didn't seem to care about, evidently. Unemployment is so low today a blind felon can get a job as a night-watchman. And the stock market is higher than a D-student on a full gram of dumb-dust, and anyone with a degree from a junior college who can spell 'Internet' has enough money to ponder the annual maintenance cost of his boat, instead of where his or her next meal is coming from. Bottom line: I'm running a country here, and I'm doing it with my pecker showing. What I'm asking for is your support, not a date with your daughter... unless, of course, she's a hotty with thin ankles, and then I'd like to discuss it. In the meantime, think about where you are today and that kind of life you're living before you get too interested in where I'm parking the Presidential limousine. God Bless AMERICA. Thank you (reply to this comment)

from Dr. Seussmeister Thursday, November 30, 2006 - 14:53 (Agree/Disagree?) I am Starr. Starr I are. I'm a brilliant barri-star. I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see, Did you grope Miss Lew-in-sky? Did you grope her in your house? Did you grope beneath her blouse? Did she give you gifts and ties? Were you spied by prying eyes? I did not do that here or there! I did not do that anywhere! I did not do that in a chair! I went not near her giant hair! I did not join -- even for fun, The Mile High Club in Air Force One, So stow your feathers and your tar, I did not do her Starr you are! Did you smile? Did you Flirt? Did you peek beneath her skirt? And did you tell the girl to lie, When called upon to testify? That is it; you've gone too far! I do not like you Starr you are! I will not answer any more! In fact, I think I'll start a war! The public's easy to distract, When bombs are falling on Iraq! (reply to this comment)

From Samuel Thursday, November 30, 2006, 17:49 (Agree/Disagree?) Very funny. Bravo!(reply to this comment)

From neez Thursday, November 30, 2006, 23:38 (Agree/Disagree?) Samuel, I thought you might like to see this: http://www.amateurgear.com/voyeur/photoset0000976.html This is what happens when white Britney trash hangs around with Paris Hilton too long. Be warned though, if you look at that link you'll probably go to hell. See you there.(reply to this comment)

From Regis Philbin Monday, December 04, 2006, 05:48 (Agree/Disagree?) Hi! I'm Regis Philbin with "Panties for Celebrities". It is heartbreaking to hear the many stories of celebrities who cannot afford, or do not know how to wear something as simple as panties. In the worst cases, they may even be embarrassed by photographers who wait on the prowl to take their pictures as they get out of limousines. "Panties for Celebrities" was started about three years ago, and has helped many celebrities who can't seem to afford panties. But it goes far beyond that. They are given training in how to wear these panties by our highly skilled volunteers. Those who donate can recieve letters from their sponsored celebrity thanking them for their generosity. "Panties for Celebrities" will be doing their annual "Panty Drive" during the last two weeks leading up to Christmas, so please stop by one of our "Panties for Celebrities" shelters and make a life saving donation. (reply to this comment)

From Samuel Friday, December 01, 2006, 05:39 (Agree/Disagree?) Yeah, that's disgusting. But I seriously doubt I'm going to go to Hell just for looking at it. That girl needs to quit hanging around with Paris Hilton while there's still time to redeem herself in the public eye. It's possible it might already be too late. I don't know what is going on in that girl's mind. And her kids are supposed to look up to her as a role model when they grow up? I could say this has stopped me from buying another one of her CD's, but I never bought one to start with. I got it for free from a pawn shop. Lindsay Lohan should also quit hanging around with Paris. She's being a bad influence on those girls. I don't usually agree with Rosie O' Donnel, but she has it right this time. By the way, there's no need for you guys to keep posting stuff about Britney on here. I read enough of it in the tabloids. " 'Dress casual' means: Don't show up looking like you just raided Britney Spears' closet" (reply to this comment)

From neez Sunday, December 03, 2006, 21:59 (Agree/Disagree?) Yeah sorry but you will go to hell now.(reply to this comment)

From Samuel Monday, December 04, 2006, 05:26 (Agree/Disagree?) NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Neez made me do it! : o )(reply to this comment)

From AndyH Friday, December 01, 2006, 13:10 (Agree/Disagree?) Disgusting? I don't know about that. Though I can hardly blame you for being frightened of female genitalia, I've gotten into my fair share of trouble for it. But I assure you, their power can be used for good as well as evil. Try it! You just might like it! (reply to this comment)

From an apostate Saturday, December 02, 2006, 02:48 (Agree/Disagree?) roflmmfao(reply to this comment)

From Shaka Friday, December 01, 2006, 11:08 (Agree/Disagree?) *rolls newspaper...SMACK!! NO! Bad!(reply to this comment)

from Rain Child Thursday, November 30, 2006 - 01:32 (Agree/Disagree?) Samuel, did you write that yourself? I'm impressed. (I'd almost forgotten about Monica though...) (reply to this comment)

From Samuel Thursday, November 30, 2006, 04:03 (Agree/Disagree?) Yes. Several years back. You know, as a young guy with no siblings to play with I sometimes had to come up with ways to entertain myself. (reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Thursday, November 30, 2006, 04:12 (Agree/Disagree?) You talking to me? Or you just got Aussie popstars on the brain?(reply to this comment)

From Samuel Thursday, November 30, 2006, 04:18 (Agree/Disagree?) lol, Rain. You are too much.(reply to this comment)

From Samuel Thursday, November 30, 2006, 04:42 (Agree/Disagree?) Okay, you got me. I was doing both. I was thinking of you dressed like an Aussie pop star. : o )(reply to this comment)

From Shaka Thursday, November 30, 2006, 13:26 (Agree/Disagree?) lol, shit dude! She wasn't the least bit subtle.(reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Thursday, November 30, 2006, 11:53 (Agree/Disagree?) Shut up. It was a not-too-subtle hint to please use my screen name. *SIGH* Suppose I should spell it all out then...The reference to Aussie popstars was because you have mentioned Olivia Newton John in the above article.(reply to this comment)

From Samuel Thursday, November 30, 2006, 18:03 (Agree/Disagree?) Rain, I do remember writing that comment (I think it was yesterday) but I can't remember which article I wrote it under. Do you remember? I'll be sure to ask Administration to remove it. Again, I'm sorry. It's just I always felt weird calling you "Rain". I didn't think you would care. And Shaka, I'll stop calling you by your name on here also.(reply to this comment)

From AndyH Thursday, November 30, 2006, 20:12 (Agree/Disagree?) No, it was under this article, twice. I think admin decided to be proactive and help you out. You can't buy service like that! (reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Friday, December 01, 2006, 18:47 (Agree/Disagree?) Thanks Admin for looking out for me! you're the greatest.(reply to this comment)

From Samuel Thursday, November 30, 2006, 20:19 (Agree/Disagree?) No, you can't buy sevice like that. Thanks for the help, Andy.(reply to this comment)

From AndyH Thursday, November 30, 2006, 20:23 (Agree/Disagree?) I do what I can. (reply to this comment)

From Shaka Thursday, November 30, 2006, 22:18 (Agree/Disagree?) Andy, how cold did it get where you were in the sandbox? I'm wearing my damn poly-pros and gortex! Jesus, does this place have anything that's not a fucking extreme? We had nice weather for like two weeks. It went from Satan's living room hot to my-balls-are-raisins-and-my-nipples-can-cut-glass cold in the space of a month. FUCK THIS COUNTRY!!! FUCK IT WITHOUT LUBE!!!(reply to this comment)

From AndyH Thursday, November 30, 2006, 22:42 (Agree/Disagree?) BWAHAHAHAH! That's what you get for joining the Army! No seriously, we got there in the winter, so we didn't start buying thermometers from Haj till the summer. But yeah, it was balls cold. Sucks to be you! But seriously, take care of yourself. I lost a good friend recently and it would kick my ass if something happened to you. Keep your fucking head down. (reply to this comment)

From Shaka Friday, December 01, 2006, 00:43 (Agree/Disagree?) There's no such thing as a light drizzle either. It's sunny as hell one day then it's fucking Noah's flood the next. One night the lightning was so hard and so close that for the first few seconds when it woke me up I thought it was a rocket attack. I was rolling out of bed and grabbing for my gear when I heard the rain. The whole base just turns into a damn lake. (reply to this comment)

From AndyH Friday, December 01, 2006, 09:53 (Agree/Disagree?) I just realized I've become one of the over-bearing civilians who used to annoy me so. Shame on me. Also, shame on me for saying "Haj". Are you still at Marez? That place was a mud puddle in winter and a dust bowl in summer, you just can't win. I was trying to arrange a local contract to have much of the problem spots paved over, but they wanted to plant grass instead, which I think is idiotic because you know they won't keep up on watering it. Did they ever do anything like that? If you ever run into 1-23 IN (The Tomahawks!) show them some love for me. (reply to this comment)

From Samuel Friday, December 01, 2006, 05:45 (Agree/Disagree?) Wow! I do kinda feel sorry for you, Shaka (just a little bit). You take care of yourself over there. I'll definitely be thinking of you guys today. (reply to this comment)

From AndyH Thursday, November 30, 2006, 12:20 (Agree/Disagree?) Samuel, I know you didn't mean it, but using someones real name when they go by an alias is a major netiquette no-no. I'm sure admin will change it if you ask them, they've done it for me more than once. Cheers!(reply to this comment)

From Samuel Thursday, November 30, 2006, 16:31 (Agree/Disagree?) Okay, okay, I get it now. Sorry, Rain.(reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Friday, December 01, 2006, 06:40 (Agree/Disagree?) Thanks boys, You actually cared about it more than I did! Pretty much everyone on Moving On knows my name anyway. But do you know how I found Moving On? My name was googled by my ex, who was looking for dirt on me. The only place my full name was to be found on the World Wide Web was here in the archives of connections when someone had been looking for me. And I didn't even know this site existed! But that led to the site, which led to everything else. That's why I'm careful with my name now. Thanks for respecting that.(reply to this comment)

From Samuel Friday, December 01, 2006, 07:00 (Agree/Disagree?) I had no idea, Rain. It still feels a little bit awkward, but if that's what you want to be called, that's what I'll call you. I have to go to work soon. Have a great day, Rain.(reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Friday, December 01, 2006, 07:07 (Agree/Disagree?) Why does it feel awkward? It's all you've ever called me before today.(reply to this comment)

From Samuel Friday, December 01, 2006, 16:25 (Agree/Disagree?) I don't know. Probably becasue it's a double name. Maybe I'm just being weird. By the way, if you liked this article, you'll probably like some of my other work on this site. I also wrote "You're So Vain", and "Inexplainable Stupidity" (which is a spoof on Vas' "Irresistable Simplicity" song). They can be found here: http://www.movingon.org/article.asp?sID=8&Cat=12&ID=3235 http://www.movingon.org/article.asp?sID=8&Cat=12&ID=2305(reply to this comment)

From Shaka Saturday, December 02, 2006, 04:14 (Agree/Disagree?) Tsk tsk, shameless self-advertising.(reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Friday, December 01, 2006, 18:46 (Agree/Disagree?) Umm...except inexplainable is not a word. If anything it would be 'unexplainable', although I would probably favour another word choice... 'incomprehensible' perhaps? Then again, I don't know the Vas song, so I probably wouldn't 'get' the spoof. And my name...sick of the subject so this is my last comment on it...nobody uses the full two words anyway. Just like nobody calls you Samuel M_______. (I'm thinking of your name google here. You should try it. Prospective employers often do.) Your words: "You can call me Sam, Sammy, Samuel, whatever you like" In return, I say: "You can call me Rain, Rainy, RC, Gorgeous, whatever you like"(reply to this comment)

From Samuel Friday, December 01, 2006, 19:46 (Agree/Disagree?) Well, Gorgeous, I hate to do this to you, but let me reach over and grab my American Heritage College Dictionary. Inexplainable: adj Difficult or impossible to explain, inexplicable. Fish actually led me to start using "Inexplicable" instead. I find it rhymes better with the word Vas used ("Irrestible"). Thanks for thinking of me, Rain.(reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Friday, December 01, 2006, 21:05 (Agree/Disagree?) Heh...just looked at the link. I see the 'inexplainable' debate has been done to death. Well, I guess it is a word then...but I have a suspicion it's one of those new words that result from Americans not learning correct grammar and spelling for so many generations that the wrong versions become accepted and find their way into dictionaries.(reply to this comment)

From Samuel Saturday, December 02, 2006, 05:29 (Agree/Disagree?) Now, Rain, if you ever play Scrabble with someone, you know a new word that can rack up lots of points for you. 20 points for that word. 40 if you can set it up inside a "Double Word Score" spot.(reply to this comment)

From neezy Sunday, December 03, 2006, 22:07 (Agree/Disagree?) This comment is even more dumb then your article.(reply to this comment)

From AndyH Friday, December 01, 2006, 21:58 (Agree/Disagree?) Ha! I was wondering how you were going to handle that one. thought you'd either ignore it, or laugh at yourself and apologize. But no, you chose secret option 3, "I'm not wrong, the dictionaries are!" (reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Friday, December 01, 2006, 22:05 (Agree/Disagree?) Okay, and I'm doubly wrong because unexplainable is not a word! This is INCONCEIVABLE! (Australia as we all know is entirely peopled with criminals)(reply to this comment)

From neez Sunday, December 03, 2006, 22:03 (Agree/Disagree?) Unexplainable is a word: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Unexplainable(reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Sunday, December 03, 2006, 23:53 (Agree/Disagree?) Well, yes, and that dictionary didn't have "inexplainable" in the thesaurus of words for 'unexplainable'. I just don't get it. I always thought that inexplicable was the word used instead of inexplainable. I should really shut up about this, but it's just bugging me.(reply to this comment)

From vixie Monday, December 04, 2006, 02:56 (Agree/Disagree?) Online dictionaries can be unreliable. Oxford Dictionary lists 'unexplainable' as a word but there is no entry for 'inexplainable'. However not all words are represented in the dictionary unless you have the twenty-volume set (Yes, 'tis the stuff of daydreams...) so it could be that they have simply left it out of the single volume as it's not in common usage. It's also very possible that webster's online (which I cited last time in this thread) is far less stringent than Oxford in its inclusion policy. Personally I think inexplicable is far more elegant, and preferable to either of the others. When in doubt go with Oxford, it's the greatest authority on the English language. For an interesting read you might want to have a browse of this site from time to time: http://www.askoxford.com/?view=uk There are lots of cool tidbits on there. I especially enjoyed the following section because I had always been a terrible snob about English vs. American spelling and in particular the 'ise' vs. 'ize'. http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutspelling/ize?view=uk Yay, I've had my word time for today! (reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Monday, December 04, 2006, 04:44 (Agree/Disagree?) Good old Oxford! They've almost redeemed me! I did have a suspicion 'inexplainable' was an American invention...hmmm...(reply to this comment)

From Shaka Monday, December 04, 2006, 03:48 (Agree/Disagree?) It's French Fries! Not chips! And anything thicker than fries are potato wedges! Ohhhhh say can you seeeeeeee.....(reply to this comment)

From Oxford Dictionary Monday, December 04, 2006, 05:17 (Agree/Disagree?) Potato wedges are defined by the "wedge" shape - not by any relational width to other potato products! And seeing how this language is indeed called English, the way it's spoken in England trumps whatever bastardisations you Americans have come up with.(reply to this comment)

From Shaka Monday, December 04, 2006, 07:37 (Agree/Disagree?) Well, there's more of us. And my dad can beat up your dad.(reply to this comment)

From Oxford Dictionary Monday, December 04, 2006, 08:50 (Agree/Disagree?) So are you all under-educated bullies, or is that just your dad?(reply to this comment)

From Shaka Monday, December 04, 2006, 09:07 (Agree/Disagree?) Actually my dad is Canadian and is appalled by my American use of the English language. And who said anything about being under-educated or a bully? Does a joke get your panties in a bunch, anonymous?(reply to this comment)

From vixie Monday, December 04, 2006, 05:54 (Agree/Disagree?) I don't particularly want to do this, but in the interest of protecting the purity of this great language I feel I must draw your attention to the fact that 'bastardization' can only be spelled with a 'z'. As it happens I almost used that word in my earlier comment today and its only through checking the spelling for that purpose that I discovered that my initial instinct to use 's' would have been incorrect. (reply to this comment)

From vixie Monday, December 04, 2006, 05:55 (Agree/Disagree?) Dammit, it's always the way! *IT'S!!! (reply to this comment)

From Google search Monday, December 04, 2006, 06:45 (Agree/Disagree?) I found at least three dictionary definitions for "bastardisation" as a result of a Google search.(reply to this comment)

From vixie Monday, December 04, 2006, 09:32 (Agree/Disagree?) I only corrected it because the person posted as 'Oxford Dictionary'. I'm aware of the fact that many online dictionaries would probably list it but they are generally less reliable than the print versions, not to mention less authoritative than the OED. (reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Monday, December 04, 2006, 04:42 (Agree/Disagree?) And what do you call the chips in packets?(reply to this comment)

From Shaka Monday, December 04, 2006, 07:40 (Agree/Disagree?) What, like Pringles? Those are chips as opposed to crisps. My Canadian father would be outraged right now. Nyaha!(reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Monday, December 04, 2006, 11:28 (Agree/Disagree?) We call them all chips, but if we have to explain, we will either say, 'hot chips' or 'chippies'(!)(reply to this comment)

From Ne Oublie Monday, December 04, 2006, 15:08 (Agree/Disagree?) Never heard of 'chippies' in that context - although over here we refer to a Fish & Chips shop as a Chippy, so I suppose 'Chippies' would be the plural.(reply to this comment)

From lisa Monday, December 04, 2006, 14:32 (Agree/Disagree?) CChhiiippppieesssssss(reply to this comment)

From Shaka Monday, December 04, 2006, 11:44 (Agree/Disagree?) lol, now that I've never heard.(reply to this comment)

From vixie Monday, December 04, 2006, 03:11 (Agree/Disagree?) Uh, I meant 'that thread'. (reply to this comment)

From Rain Child Friday, December 01, 2006, 18:53 (Agree/Disagree?) Yep, just googled you. Number one on the list is Moving On.(reply to this comment)

From Samuel Friday, December 01, 2006, 19:33 (Agree/Disagree?) Yes, Rain, but did you notice what the link pointed to? It pointed to one of my comments where I was trying to convince someone not to commit suicide, and I wrote: " Everyone has friends. There are relationship experts that study friendships and relationships. They have determined that even the smallest most insignficant person on Earth has at least 7 people who think the whole world of them. Samuel Mercuri." Hey, that is something worth being remembered for. And it was my fault, I had started a habit of "signing" all of my comments with my full name.(reply to this comment)

From AndyH Friday, December 01, 2006, 10:06 (Agree/Disagree?) The first time I googled my name the number one result was a petition to have The Church of Scientology's tax exempt status removed. That dropped off after a while, and then the only results were from this site, and I had admin remove those. It's not that I'm embarrassed about it, it's just that I don't want this to be the first thing someone learns about me. (reply to this comment)

from The critics raved>> Wednesday, September 20, 2006 - 09:29 (Agree/Disagree?) "That was so hillarious.... I laughed till I stopped...." (reply to this comment)