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from Rain Child Friday, July 07, 2006 - 06:55 (Agree/Disagree?) Fucking excellent! Just what I needed to take my mind off things. The sad thing is it could almost pass for the real pub. (reply to this comment)

from true Thursday, June 02, 2005 - 20:04 (Agree/Disagree?) what the fuck ?????????? (reply to this comment)

From scarecrow Thursday, June 02, 2005, 20:54 (Agree/Disagree?) 24. I'M GOING TO CLOBBER HIM WITH THE POWER OF GOD! Beat him over the head with you, the Spirit of God, he can't resist. He has to fuck & fuck & fuck & fuck & fuck until he gives me some seed. Because I don't have hardly any seed anymore. 25. (MARIA: BUT HONEY, A LOT OF TIMES IT SEEMS LIKE HE HAS A LOT MORE OF THE SPIRIT & he knows how to make decisions & he really gets answers from the Lord a lot more than I do.) More than what? More than me? (Maria: No, more than I do.) Oh, Honey, you're the Queen, you're the consort of the King. The Queen, the Queen. So forget it. The King rules by the divine right of kings. God rules over all. 26. IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT DISCUSSION. (Maria: Why Honey?) So you can know the truth, & the truth will make you free. So you can be free of Timothy & he can be bound to you. You must be free but he must be bound. Source: http://www.exfamily.org/pubs/ml/b5/ml0845.shtml(reply to this comment)

from Wolf Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 04:56 (Agree/Disagree?) Pimp Mama – that’s perfect! Pimp Mama and Queen Peter – much better han Zerby and Kelly. They might even agree! (reply to this comment)

from vixen Friday, April 15, 2005 - 16:34 (Agree/Disagree?) TYJ, PTL. Dear Ones, I have a question. Whilst reading this fucking awesome word, I received a strong check in the spirit, namely that I had done fuck all today and the Lord wanted me to put some of this counsel into practice straightaway. And that I duly did. But my question is, why did the Holy Spirit use the term, 'fuck all'? Surely she should have known that I, having done nothing, could not have fucked all (the brothers) today. Please ask the Lord to explain this. Thanks. Also, I heard my shepherd telling the hottie, uhh, I mean sweet YA girl, that sleeps under me (on the bottom bunk, I mean) that he hoped no one would fuck her over. What does this mean? Does it mean that doggie is not a revolutionary position? Does it mean that the shepherd should be the only one to fuck over his sheep? What legitimate place is there for this term of speech in our loving, fucked-up revolution? Please clarify. Thanks so fucking much! (reply to this comment)

From vixen Friday, April 15, 2005, 16:50 (Agree/Disagree?) Also, when is it appropriate to say 'fuckin' A' and what does 'fucked up' actually mean. Thank you!(reply to this comment)

From roughneck Saturday, April 16, 2005, 00:36 (Agree/Disagree?) Dear Sweet Vixen, GBY! Sorry for the delay in replying. As you know, Queen Peter and I always try to take time out of our schedules to answer questions from you young people out there on the mission field, but these days there are so few young people left in The Family that we've taken to semi-retirement in the Cayman Islands. Between watching out for the sun, and Praying and Spraying 3 times a day as per the Charter, we've had our hands pretty full lately. Luckily for us kleenex makes quality tissues. Look, there's one that's only been used for 6 glasses cleanings, 1 face wipe, and 3 nose-blows. It's still good! Let's not forget dear Dad's "ragman" counsel! Needless to say, we're not as "up" on the latest Vandari trends due to the activities I described earlier, though we're basically pretty sure whatever they're cooking up will all blow over soon. Queen Peter has been loving Jesus so hard and often lately, how could there be any other possible outcome? We've claimed all the keys, and we are only a triple-word-score away from becoming a +1 Heaven's Girl. Much later after that, if we're good, we'll graduate on to a +1 Endtime Prophetess, but one thing at a time. We're very encouraged to hear that one of the more vitriolic movingon.org apostates, Joe H, has decided to leave the Vandari fold. He recently posted a long reaction to the Vandari's recent memorial in which he stated "I Love You Guys", which is of course what all JETTs are programmed to say after graduating a properly run Victor Program. Praise the Lord for our wonderful Family teen training! Now in regards to your first question, we suspect that the Holy Spirit punched through with the phrase "fuck all" because you haven't fully forsaken all and are not upholding the Law of Love in your heart, and we feel, your bed either. What this boils down to for you, honey, is that you're going to have to have a major fucking shakeup in your life, and start showing a lot more fucking affection, even if it fucking hurts! (Dad speaking) Praise the Lord honey, if you haven't fucked all today, why not? Are you the Girl Who fucking Wouldn't? Or were you the one who preferred a bible class to the fucking Lambada? Last time we had this problem we had the boys line up outside the bedroom until she was fucking free of the Demon of Fucking Frigidity, hallelujah! To fuck all is to die fucking daily, Amen? (Damnit, Abrahim, I said fucking WAIT on sucking my cock until I get off this damned heavenly hotline! Sheesh! Here I thought I was a perve, I've got nothing on these fucking drunken Romany Gypsies. -They fuck anything with a heartbeat and several things without.) Anyway, I'm sure it's just a scheduling problem to fuck all the brethren in the home. Get Peter to help you, he's always been a whiz with fucking schedules. Look I gotta go, Abrahim, Genghis "G-daddy" Khan and Paul Pot (he changed it from Pol to Paul when he became a new man and started smoking the hippie lettuce) have started up another fucking gangbang with Miss February '73 around the fountain that I have just gotta be in.(end of message from Dad) So as you can see, it's quite clear that you should immediately begin this new revolution in your life as soon as possible. We strongly recommend setting aside the next WNR (or three, if that's what it takes) for getting down to business with your obvious lack-of-loving-freedom-in-the-spirit problem together with all the men from your home/NAS area. We're sending a letter via the CROs to your home's teamwork, so they too can help you with your burden to become more of a "holy hole" in the future. In order to avoid fucking jealousy issues, though, we suggest you fuck-all in alphabetical order, in other words, Fucking A through Fucking Z. Which brings us, of course, to possibly the only Family-correct usage of the phrase, "fucking A". Of course, the Lord would allow you to reverse the alphabetical order, "fucking up" as it were. According to your faith be they unto you. Now in regards to your questions about a shepherd's love for his sheep: it's perfectly natural for shepherds to love their sheep, and yea, to know them and be known of them as well. As for the breaking of their legs, we feel that this should only be done in serious cases, -or when they just won't lie still- but always, always in love. It's still a very common practice in many countries and a little touching is a beautiful, natural gift from God. But should you wish to produce lambs with coats that are speckled, we recommend you follow the biblical advice to put straked rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chestnut tree in the gutters of their water-trough.(Genesis 30:37-39) As we admonished in earlier letters, it's important to divide the sheep from the goats,'cause they like to kick against the pricks. (Peter: Amen!) (Dad speaking, about doggystyle:) There are no age or species limits to the Law of Love. Why don't you guys ever read your MO letters?? As long as the Romans don't find out about you bridging the Species Gap, to the pure, all things are pure! (Hitler whispering:) Heil! I am now trappinged in zer UnterVandariFuhrer JohnnieValker's Basement for almost sixing monz. He is kapturing me in zer last channeling sezzion mit der use of ein klever Vandari tricking. He is saying, looking over zere, Brunheld is take off her breastingplate, and zen next sing I am knowing, I'm trappinged in zer bottle, like zer I dream of Jeannie chick. Zer UnterVandariFuhrer Valker means to keeping me here until I am surrendering zer neuwenwein message to der unvashed vandari schwein, but zo far I am behavingk like zer proper German P.O.W. unt only speaking mit mein rank, name und serial number. Maybe Herr Valker vill come and pump me for some more information today or tomorrow, or maybe ze day after zat. Hitler likes zer pumping interrogaychuns, jah. Over and Outing. Heil!(end of message from Hitler) Hey Adolf, quit cutting in on this frequency with your P.O.W.-barracks-radio-stuff already. I'm trying to get my mack on with Misty here. OK? (end of message from Dad) Wow, it's sure been a busy day in the spirit world, hasn't it? PYJ for his wonderful spirit helper counsel! Your loving wine-bibber, "Pimp-mommy" Mama (reply to this comment)

From Miss February, 1973 Saturday, April 16, 2005, 00:46 (Agree/Disagree?) http://www.movingon.org/gallery2.asp?ID=1991 this is of course, post-pubs-purge. :D(reply to this comment)

From Wolf Friday, April 15, 2005, 21:15 (Agree/Disagree?) "Fuckin’ A" is short for "fucking Aaron in the spirit" and "fucked up" is when your name is moved up a notch on the sharing schedule, and placed next to uncle Uriah. Oh, and your loving shepherd was probably trying to express his hope that nobody would fuck your YA friend over breakfast, so she would still be fresh for their bathroom encounter during JJT. GBY, sweetheart. Keep fucking the good fuck.(reply to this comment)

from Cecil says... Friday, April 15, 2005 - 16:16 (Agree/Disagree?) Dear Cecil: The following question isn't something I could send to Action Line, but I've always wanted to know: what is the origin of the "F" word? A friend told me it's an abbreviation of "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge,'' which was supposedly stamped on the foreheads of couples who were locked up in the stocks for fornicating without benefit of matrimony. Also, whither the expression "fuck you"? I've always agreed with George Carlin, who says "unfuck you" would be a more appropriate curse, indicating you hope the person you are cursing would never enjoy the pleasure of sex again, rather than wishing them the opposite. --Lois S., Mesa, Arizona Cecil replies: This is going to be a little crude, folks, but let's try to keep a stiff upper lip. I've heard a number of variations of the "fuck-as-acronym" story, none of which, in my opinion (and that of most linguists), is even remotely likely: (1) It stands for "fornication under consent of the king," which was supposedly tacked up over the doors of government-approved brothels in early England. (2) It stands for "for the use of carnal knowledge," which allegedly was stamped on condoms, or, alternatively, used the same way as "for unlawful carnal knowledge." This passion for preposterous acronyms seems to be peculiar to Anglo-Americans, and some believe it started around World War I, about the same time many acronyms began popping up in government. Others I've come across include P.O.S.H. ("port outward, starboard home"), said to have been stamped on the tickets of first class passengers on India-bound British ships who wanted their cabins on the shady side of the boat during the passage through the tropics; C.O.P. ("constable on patrol"); and T.I.P. ("to insure promptness"). All are rubbish. The best guess is that "fuck" comes from the Middle English fucken, to strike, move quickly, penetrate, from the German ficken, meaning approximately the same thing. A related word may be the Middle Dutch fokken, to strike, copulate with. We get a clue here as to the level of delicacy and tenderness that has characterized the sex act down through the ages, and which is recalled by the charming epithet "fuck you." Many other possible etymologies have been offered. Some claim the F-word (sorry to have to resort to this lame expression, but you have no idea how tiresome it can be to type "fuck" a million times) is a truncation of "fecund." Richard Spears, author of the splendid Slang and Euphemism, says the word may be a disguise of the French foutre, same meaning, which comes from the Latin futuere. Another possible origin, Professor Spears says, is the Latin pungo, to prick. Give me a break, doc. Having totally ODed on gutter epithets, let us move briefly to the cheerful world of euphemism. Professor Spears has amassed an awesome collection of synonyms for the generative act (under "occupy," p. 278, in case you're the type who likes to look up dirty words in reference books), including the following, which gives you an idea of the never-ending richness of the English language: bang, batter, beef, bumble, blow off the loose corns, bounce the brillo, dance the buttock jig, do a dive in the dark, flimp, flurgle, foin, foraminate, futz, get one's leather stretched, get one's nuts cracked, get one's oil changed, go bird's nesting, go bush-ranging, go like a rat up a rhododendron, go star-gazing on one's back, have a bun in the oven, have a game in the cock-loft, have a leap up the ladder, have hot pudding for supper, hide the ferret, hide the salami, hide the sausage, hive it, jazz it, knock it off, lay some pipe, light the lamp, lose the lamp and pocket the stake, make her grunt, mix one's peanut butter, palliardize, pestle, pheeze, pizzle, play cars and garages, plow, plug, plook, ram, rasp, ride below the crupper, shoot between wind and water, strop one's beak, varnish one's cane, wet one's wick, wind the clock, and work the hairy oracle--some 675 synonyms in all. The ingenuity displayed in this, ahh, well-plowed ground is nothing short of awesome. (reply to this comment)

from Banshee Friday, April 15, 2005 - 15:39 (Agree/Disagree?) That was too funny! (I'm not kidding...I read it to my mom, and she laughed so hard, she had to sit down because her heart hurt...lol!) Thank you for another hilarious reminder of the fact that sometimes there's nothing else you can do but laugh at them! If I had a hat, it would be off to you! :p (reply to this comment)

from Solo Friday, April 15, 2005 - 15:30 (Agree/Disagree?) Now that was fucking funny you are unfucking believable my respects (reply to this comment)

from l*******k Friday, April 15, 2005 - 13:06 (Agree/Disagree?) Too ufcking ufnny. (reply to this comment)

from vixen Friday, April 15, 2005 - 12:53 (Agree/Disagree?) All I can say is, 'Fuuuuck me'! : P (reply to this comment)

From Pubs Purge Latest News Flash & Prayer Request Friday, April 15, 2005, 16:08 (Agree/Disagree?) Dear Family, We have to announce a little pubs purge yet again. It seems that Peter was feeling quite down about this little mistake, as a simple "Fuck Me" happens to be his primary pickup line for SGAs who've just turned, uh, 21. So please use black ink or white-out to amend the phrase "Doesn't work so well on SGA women." from point #6 to say, "guaranteed to work well on SGA women if you wear a kingly dead-skunk toupee &/or ponytail in combination with John Lennon glasses & funky robe." So let it be written, so let it be done! This is also a charter amendment Family Membership Requirement (as well as an excommunicable offense in some cases) as of 14 April, 2005. Urgent prayer request: During one of Peter's recent forays into the spiritual realm, (where as we all know, he's a 38DD blonde named Helga), he found himself unable to change back into his normal physical self. His kingly if balding and somewhat pug-ugly face and personality that we all know and love is intact, but he seems to have retained Adelle's large endowments, as well as her spirit vagina in some mystical transgendered union that we can't quite get into right now. Peter himself seems fairly content with this change, however. He spends a lot more time than usual Loving Jesus, which can only be a good thing for his spiritual health, but is playing merry hell with his carpal tunnel syndrome. So we'd like the whole Family to desperately pray that I can find where I left the black leather strapon, as our sweet sharing time just hasn't been the same lately. -Or that the provisioners can find us a new one. Please also pray that there is a light at the end of Peter's carpal tunnel, as he's really going through it. (Jesus speaking) Behold, I have given thee two hands, and one organ, that ye may shake ever more, and use the mouse with the other hand to view images of me ravishing you. Beware thou dost not breach the charter restrictions against pornography while doing so, by clicking on the flashing banner on the screen. Yea, thou shalt switch hands from time to time, to avoid repetitive stress injury, but only if you pray! -and suck my cock under the table.(end message from Jesus) Wow, what a message from our Lover! Thank you all so much for your prayers. GBAKYAMYABTAYM! Your "Pimp-mommy" Mama. (reply to this comment)

From roughneck Friday, April 15, 2005, 18:37 (Agree/Disagree?) apparently Peter is both Adelle and Helga in the Spirit. Or something.. my bad. :P(reply to this comment)

from exister Friday, April 15, 2005 - 12:50 (Agree/Disagree?) Fucking hilarious! (reply to this comment)

from fuck Friday, April 15, 2005 - 12:49 (Agree/Disagree?) I laughed so fucking hard I thought I was gonna get fucking kicked out of the fucking library (reply to this comment)

from Wolf Friday, April 15, 2005 - 12:37 (Agree/Disagree?) Praise his fucking name! (reply to this comment)

from Kelly Friday, April 15, 2005 - 12:26 (Agree/Disagree?) Roughy, HaHaHaHaHeHeHe!! :-) Now that was fucking funny!! You're a genius--Keep it up! (reply to this comment)

from Sonderval Friday, April 15, 2005 - 02:22 (Agree/Disagree?) LOL, brilliant, best laugh I've had in ages. (reply to this comment)

from SeanSwede Friday, April 15, 2005 - 01:33 (Agree/Disagree?) Extremly funny! I laughed my brains out! The neighbors where practically knocking my door down. Good work! (reply to this comment)

from Lance Friday, April 15, 2005 - 01:15 (Agree/Disagree?) Dude, I laughed so hard I had tears running down my cheeks. Excellent work! And I believe it was George Carlin who originally came up with all uses for the word fuck. Nice spin on it though; it's funnier then when he did it. (reply to this comment)

from Peter Thursday, April 14, 2005 - 22:51 (Agree/Disagree?) That is fucking brilliant. Any chance you could find some people to record it on a CD? I could realy use a new tool for the Xmas Push. (reply to this comment)