Moving On - Children of the Children of God

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?"

I finally realize that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to bed. The very next day we went shopping at a big unnamed department store... I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them.

She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I say OK. And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK.

She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during the spring thaw....

Reader's comments on this article
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from Cultinvator
Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 23:04
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Cool!
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from Cultinvator
Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 23:03
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The book "Men are from Mars, Women from venus" is totally overrated. I saw a doc about how this guy basically pulled it all out of his ass, hardly any research or statistics to back anything up. He doesn't even have a degree or is specialized. In an interview he looked like a total idiot.
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From Vicky
Tuesday, July 20, 2004, 23:30
(Agree/Disagree?)
That book has the most patronising tone I have ever encountered in a self-help book, which is quite a feat. IMO there are some good points in his overall perspective on relationships, but it is definitely nothing profound. Personally I think his approach appeals to people who are particularly simplistic (easily seduced by the Mars/Venus metaphor), and not necessarily prone to looking for substance.(reply to this comment)

From Haunted
Wednesday, July 21, 2004, 06:41
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Actually, I've never read the book, but of course, self-help is sometimes like any other 'cult' where someone who is uneducated and under-qualified spouts off about things they've completely made up!(reply to this comment)

From Banshee
Wednesday, July 21, 2004, 08:16
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This is the very reason why I hate that "Dr. Phil" creep and his creepy son. It's hard to believe there are people who watch him and buy his books. All he does is sit there and give "advice" that, if people had thought for even just a few minutes, could have come up with themselves. Oh, wait...he does it with a Texan accent....(reply to this comment)

From Vicky
Wednesday, July 21, 2004, 07:59
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Absolutely! -- I have quite a collection of self-help books as evidence of a period in my life, a few years ago, where I felt the need for someone else to tell me what to do still. I now feel that it is a bit of a cop out to rely on them in any real sense; I no longer want to live my life in a mould prescribed to me by someone else, and I am capable of deciding on my own what I need. I do still like to read some of the more psycho-analytical ones, though, because I find them fascinating and quite useful in understanding myself and my impulses.

I think it's interesting that so many self-help books have a very religious/spiritual slant to them - It demonstrates quite clearly the fact that often the people who rely on these books as a formula for life are the same ones who cannot face the responsibility of truly growing up and relying on their own strength. One of the books that I do enjoy reading every few years is "The Road Less Travelled", I find I can identify with the author's perspective on many levels, but it does contain rather a lot of talk about God. I just skip all that and don't take any notice of that aspect.(reply to this comment)
from Dr.4_Shure
Wednesday, July 14, 2004 - 19:33
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I got a kick out that one!
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From Dr.4_Shure
Wednesday, July 14, 2004, 19:35
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Sorry! forgot the word "of". (reply to this comment)
from Shackled
Wednesday, July 14, 2004 - 17:56
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Good Stuff!!!
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from Joe H
Wednesday, July 14, 2004 - 17:50
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Hilarious!
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