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from Jeannie Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 13:00 (Agree/Disagree?) I think the site is great! I have found it to be a very therapudic way to work through my grief over the recent tragedy regarding Ricky and Angela. Yesterday being his birthday was tough, but visiting the site was comforting, somehow. I also feel that FG ex members really should go on the site and read the postings. The exfamily site for FG's is not nearly as exciting to visit. Movingon is a very alive vibrant and happening place, and never dull or boring. As an FG member, I personally find it to be real, gutsy, and the strong language doesn't bother me a bit. I love to see people being able to tell it like it is and call it like they see it! If a site like this had been up and running when I left, it would have been a tremendous help to me during that dark time in my life. As it was, it took me years to come to terms with what happened to me. I was left to struggle on my own, and it took a long,long time to sort it all out. I wish I'd have had the information available to me at that time. Everything would have become clear much sooner, if I had known what was really going on behind the scenes with Berg,Zerby and Kelly. It would have dispelled much of my confusion and I sure would not have taken what happened just lying down playing dead the way I did. Ricky's expose on his parents' lifestyle and the truth he told, the Lord Judge's ruling and Mene's story would have brought perspective to events in my own life and that of my family, and I would not have felt so alone. I spent year trying to reconcile it in my mind and just could not do it! I would have realized I needed to fight like hell to get my kids out, and not just accepted that I was somehow to be blamed because I was such a non-conformist in the group! You guys are doing a fantastic job and I think every comment posted on this site has relevance to us all, even the most strongly worded ones! It thrills me to see the way many of you have survived the odds, considering the way your individuality was stifled, and gone on to get your education and become confident, strong individuals with principles and purpose. I have tried to do this in my own life, but at least I had some frame of reference from my childhood and normal upbringing. I find it remarkable that those who were born into the family and suffered so much have rebounded so amazingly. Your stories are a great source of personal inspiration, though the magnitude of the abuses many of you endured saddens me greatly. I think many of the FG's had no idea these things were happening to our kids in other places, and I guess we were just so brainwashed we just couldn't see the forrest for the trees too. Surviving makes you stronger, and I think the network this site has created is a force to be reckoned with and the dialogue the site affords its users only strengthens the resolve of individual users. So, more power to you all! You have my support and admiration........each and every one of you! (reply to this comment)

From Tess Friday, February 04, 2005, 12:27 (Agree/Disagree?) Jeannie, I just read your article rating the movingon web site and I must say that I wholeheartedly agree--this site is a wonderful resource for those of us who have had to sort out our years of being in the cult. I was fortunate in that I left with my husband (and our 6 children). We think very much alike so we had eachother to help with processing our emotional, psychological and spiritual adjustments. What I would like to say is that it was the tragic event involving Ricky and Angela that led me to this site and I have been coming back regularly since then. I have also visited the exfamily site and I definately find this site of/by/for ex-members much more interesting.It seems that much of what I discovered on the other site was almost an extension of the cult in that much of the content reflects an effort of trying to be "nice" and "Christian"--with an emphasis on the ability of being able to still "serve the Lord" outside the F. Yes, Movingon is more gutsy, real and perinent to what many of us have gone/are going through, not to mention the intellectual sophistication, depth of insight and brilliant sense of humour expressed here. I'm now 50 but I find this site refreshing, inspiring, heartfelt and damn funny. You guys are great! (reply to this comment)

from J Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 12:06 (Agree/Disagree?) (reply to this comment)

from Haunted Wednesday, May 12, 2004 - 07:44 (Agree/Disagree?) The board's been here for over two years, and gone through lots of changes -- like most of us. What do you think of it? I agree with Joe that this question is simply too broad. Is it a big part of your life? As it relates to the many years of my life spent in TF, yes. In relation to the now 'normal' life I live, no. Is it a good part of your life? Sometimes. I appreciate what this site has allowed me to do, it's been a learning experience. Why do you find yourself coming here? Sometimes you just wanna be 'real' with people. I'm very guarded normally with where I came from and how I grew up so this provides a place where I can 'let my hair down' so to speak. It's also a great place to catch up with old friends!! What do you value about it -- if you do? What I value most about this site are the certain people I interact with here who make the experience meaningful and humorous as well as the many friends I have made from this site. What do you like the most about it? provides a forum for topics not easliy discussed with anyone but Exers What do you dislike the most about it? What would you like to change? The damn chatroom is always "freezing up" on me ;-) Do you ever think of telling "outsiders" to come here to learn more about your background? If not, why not? No, I'm not sure it would be an accurate representation of who we were back then - it reflects who we are now. There are also many topics which have nothing to do with our backgroud and I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable using them as a "representation" of my backgroud. Do you think the board needs more guidelines on sandbox behavior, or less? Don't really want to comment on this one..... What guidelines would you suggest? Don't really want to comment on this one..... Or do you prefer a little more anarchy? Don't really want to comment on this one..... If the board shut down tomorrow, how would that affect your life? I think I'd miss it. (reply to this comment)

from highonhigh Friday, May 07, 2004 - 22:52 (Agree/Disagree?) I like the site it's interesting. From my point of view is like a club for americans, canadians, europeans, but open to the so called "natives to put in their two cents once in a while. I wish some latin ex would have the iniciative to do something similar to the hundreds latins an other "nationals" especially now that so many are leaving TF. I don't have the time to do. but it would be nice, a site where some of us can also come in and "browse, read ,rant,write,whatever" without worrying to much about grammar & spelling because for some of us english is just a language that we heard growing up when we live with a bunch of gringos. I think Jules did a good thing by creating this site. (reply to this comment)

From cholito, pantalón blanco Monday, May 10, 2004, 22:24 (Agree/Disagree?) if Berg would have been from Spain, we would probably be talking in Spanish, or if the guy would have been French, the same thing would had happened, but happened that the man and all his stupidity was American, so we all communicate in English. big deal. if you want to do an old fashion chovinistic thing, why dn´t you started yourself, why asking someone else to do it? i mean, what is your point, si puedes perfectamente comprender los dos idiomas. i´m sure people from all over get in here in spite of their language, así que relájate, deja ese nacionalismo trasnochado para otro lugar, not this site. buena suerte.(reply to this comment)

From highonhigh Tuesday, May 11, 2004, 15:19 (Agree/Disagree?) Good I have two days off from work so I get to answer some of this post. Helloo! Am I asking anyone else to do anything here? My english may not be the best but I sure no the difference between wish & ask. I did say I don't have the time to do it so maybe you are missing something. I can put my nacionalismo transnochado any where I want. Are you in charge of anything in here? & why not this site? No wonder you called yourself cholito it suits you fine. buena suerte a ti tambien.(reply to this comment)

From Sunday, May 09, 2004, 02:26 (Agree/Disagree?) Don’t mistake Europeans and Canadians for the loud mouthed obnoxious American bullies. (reply to this comment)

From lucidchick Saturday, May 08, 2004, 10:48 (Agree/Disagree?) Highonhigh, Is there anything I can do as a participant here to help you feel more included? I would like that myslef, as I grew up in South America and had never lived in the US until I left the cult. My parents seemed to reject all things American and I had a very hard time adjusting. Maybe some of what comes off as clubby is that many of us did not grow up in our home countries, so even though we speak the language we had to make special efforts not to seem like outsiders where we now make our lives. Maybe this makes us act overly American at times, on top of the fact that sometimes people seem to think that since the cult forced us to efface ourselves, it is a sign of being more "systemitey" to be mean. Jules, how about a Spanish-language section here? A Portuguese one? I would visit and contribute to both. I have often lamented not finding as many people I know here as those who were in The Family in Asia, Europe or the USA. Hasta pronto, highonhigh.(reply to this comment)

From Shackled Sunday, May 09, 2004, 20:03 (Agree/Disagree?) I grew up in Asia but haven't found anyone I know here. Maybe due to the age difference. The active ones are a few years older then me. (reply to this comment)

from GoldenMic Friday, May 07, 2004 - 20:09 (Agree/Disagree?) I know that I am a guest here, and an outsider, but my own little cult, Isot, is thankfully too small to generate the quantity of conversation and commentary that I find here. Our own little website is very important to me, but despite suggestions here to the contrary, the people on this website have experienced things so similar to me that its almost uncanny, and nobody, NOBODY else can even imagine, let alone discuss, what it means to be an ex-cultie. So here's my 2 cents worth. Is it a big part of your life? Yes, I log on daily. Is it a good part of your life? Yes, though it does sometimes depress me, it feels important to my own journey towards health to have others around that understand. Why do you find yourself coming here? Interest in the comments/ideas/thoughts of other ex-culties, and a need to speak with others who have been where I have been. loneliness.What do you value about it -- if you do? I really like the authenticity, and the amazing gift that occurs when somebody takes a chance to open up and share their pain and struggle. I also enjoy the repartee, and there are some word-smith's here that are truly a lot of fun. Of course, like many others here, I am also deeply inspired by the courage and inspiration that led to this website being created in the first place.What do you like the most about it? The sheer number of participants. There are so few of us, but when I am here I experience myself as part of a significant (albeit horrible) variation in the human experience. What do you dislike the most about it? What would you like to change? I don't particularly like the feelings of anxiety and fear of rejection I feel when I write here, my own problem. Do you ever think of telling "outsiders" to come here to learn more about your background? If not, why not? I have recommended this site to exIsots, but I would refer "normals" to more general sites... this would be so far out that they would probably never even recognize what they were seeing.Do you think the board needs more guidelines on sandbox behavior, or less? It seems pretty good. I like the "trailer park", and the spell-checker is nice, though I don't mind spelling/grammar problems so much. What guidelines would you suggest? I think that Jules does a pretty good job of balancing her own commitment to being generally even-handed while also giving herself the right to interact as a peer. Or do you prefer a little more anarchy? Nope, there seems to be plenty of anarchy here, and lots of humor.If the board shut down tomorrow, how would that affect your life? I would miss this site, and it would seem a large loss for me, for others here (and still on their way), and for the world. This site is a testament to survival, a living repudiation of the cult's lies. (reply to this comment)

From tired of your little cult Monday, May 10, 2004, 22:28

from Benz Friday, May 07, 2004 - 16:39 (Agree/Disagree?) I come here to see what the crazy’s are talking about next. Those who top the “crazy’s” list include of course Joe H, Sarafina, Jules, Alf, Culti, Sunny etc. I return to the site on occasion to try and match the intensity of whatever flare of “craziness” happens to be on special at the moment. It’s amusing and even challenging to be continually competing with the various forms of craziness which present themselves from day to day. Ranging from idiocy, dumb sarcasm, pretentiousness, desperate attempts at being condescending, show-casing some sort of sexual superiority/ prowess, or just bragging about an education, this site has it all……….but hell, it sure beats having to hear any thing from the COG. (reply to this comment)

From Jules Friday, May 07, 2004, 19:44 (Agree/Disagree?) Not to be all Joe H on you, but I think the correct grammar is "crazies", not "crazy's". Gosh, also not to get all tearful on you, but it's an honour just to be nominated. I'm deeply touched that I made the short list. Not to be campaigning for votes or anything, but I am pretty sure that if there is anyone who is overly passionate (I prefer to use that term, obsessed sounds so harsh) about exfamily stuff it's me. Sara is a sweetie-pie, Joe is a techie, Alf is English, Culti goes on binges and Sunny is adapting as we all are. I think I am the only true obsessive here, and if I weren’t, this web site would not exist. So, if a rant was out in cyberspace and no web site was there to publish it, would it make a sound?(reply to this comment)

From Benz Friday, May 07, 2004, 22:33

from sarafina Friday, May 07, 2004 - 11:36 (Agree/Disagree?) "Is it a big part of your life?" hmm, lets just say it is A part. "Is it a good part of your life?" Yes, most of the time. "Why do you find yourself coming here?" Many reasons, I might have something to say, need a good laugh, or you know how misery loves company or sometimes simply cause I'm bored at work. "What do you value about it -- if you do?" Well honestly it's really helped me a lot when I really needed it. Like when my 8yr old cousin died last year,then a few months later my brother. I was extremely depressed and couldn't sleep many nights and would come on line at all hrs of the night in the chatroom and many good people would talk to me. Some till ever 3 or 4 in the morning. It was nice cause they really helped get my mind off things. Plus there are a lot of things I was dealing with like family members w/ suicidal thoughts including myself at times and I couldn't really talk to my normal everyday friends about it. Yet on MO there were so many who understood or went/were going through similar things. Some would even call and just talk or give me advice on how to deal with stuff. All I know is in many ways it saved me from some pretty horrible times. Those of you who did I just want to thank you for being there you may never know the effect you had just sitting there talking to me in those wee hrs of the night making me laugh or sharing your personal experiences and pains. Many of you are now really good friends who I see often who I would have never met otherwise. Including my best friend. I have to say in general you all have been a great support system. "What do you like the most about it?" That's it's always here if you ever need it. "What do you dislike the most about it? What would you like to change?" I dislike having to listen to people who are symatetic toward the family it would be nice to have to separate parts of MO one for family bashers and haters (like myself) and one for the "oh they've changed" or "what about the childern and inocent people in there" Kind of people. I know that won't happen so other then that things aren't to bad. "Do you ever think of telling "outsiders" to come here to learn more about your background? If not, why not? NO. I thought it could be ok but the one time I did someone posted something malicious about me having had sex with them which wasn't true. It cause a few problems with my b/f at the time and I had to do a lot of explaining. Thanks Alf!;-) See he's not as innocent as Jules mentioned before. "Do you think the board needs more guidelines on sandbox behavior, or less?" Just Two "What guidelines would you suggest?" One I would suggest that we initiate a rule that your not allowed to spoof other peoples names or pretend to be another person. Its very misleading and fraudulent. It's abuse of the privilege to post Anonymous. Two if your going to say something slanderous or malicious you should post under your regular screen name. I think if your going to bad mouth somone you at least you let the person know who you are. It's pretty cowardly to throw stuff about people while hiding. "If the board shut down tomorrow, how would that affect your life?" Well I'd be a bit sad I unless it's been a lot of fun and I've come to love and respect maybe of the participants. (reply to this comment)

From sarafina Friday, May 07, 2004, 11:39 (Agree/Disagree?) Should have read "many* of the participants." I'm sure theres a bunch more mistakes so you'll just have to deal with it.(reply to this comment)

from Joe H Thursday, May 06, 2004 - 15:21 (Agree/Disagree?) "What do you think of it?" This question is too open-ended. "Is it a big part of your life?" no "Is it a good part of your life?" Yes and no "Why do you find yourself coming here?" Boredom, morbid curiousity "What do you value about it -- if you do?" The ability to vent the anger that gets built up from dealing with stupid people in the real world, but that I don't express cause I'm too polite (That's right, in the real world, I'm polite, believe it or not) "What do you like the most about it?" How is this different from the previous question? "What do you dislike the most about it? What would you like to change?" Dani. But, also the people who disregard the basic rules of English language cause they're too lazy, stupid, or they just don't give a fuck. "Do you ever think of telling "outsiders" to come here to learn more about your background? If not, why not?" Probably not, I get a little too carried away on here and I wouldn't want my normal friends reading it. I might send them to other, pure information sites, if they were really interested in learning more, which they aren't "Do you think the board needs more guidelines on sandbox behavior, or less?" less guidelines. Really disgustingly offensive stuff should just be deleted, but if you can't take a little ribbing then you should rejoin the cult where everyone allegedly loves each other and has to be nice. "What guidelines would you suggest?" Check your English before you hit "Submit" The editors should edit comments as well, and put people who routinely disrespect the English language in the Trailer Park where they belong. "Or do you prefer a little more anarchy?" What's that supposed to mean? "If the board shut down tomorrow, how would that affect your life?" I'd be much more productive at work "I'd like to hear some comments. What value does this board have in your life, and how could it be more meaningful?" Ok, here's my comment: I can't believe I actually took the time to answer this stupid survey, but since I already did all this typing, I might as well hit "Submit" (reply to this comment)

From Dani Sunday, May 09, 2004, 02:29 (Agree/Disagree?) Quit obsessing Jo. (reply to this comment)