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from maydreamer Thursday, September 08, 2005 - 08:46 (Agree/Disagree?) Completely agree with you Tish... got the point of it all. (reply to this comment)

from porceleindoll Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 19:51 (Agree/Disagree?) Maybe someone should compose a form reply and then just post it under the articles that tell us to move on and get a life? It would make the whole process of answering so much easier. (reply to this comment)

from Bella Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 18:25 (Agree/Disagree?) Just because a victim of abuse wants to see justice served, does NOT mean they have not moved on! Furthermore, just because someone frequents this site, does NOT mean they have not moved on! Jesus Christ! I'm so sick of this! I have "moved on" just fine - have a successful husband, beautiful baby, am educated, etc etc etc. But I'm still waiting to see the bastards who abused my siblings, cousins and friends, burn! Honestly, you sound like you could do some venting yourself. Don't keep all that abuse bottled up - there are so many individuals like you and we are ALL in this together! (reply to this comment)

from dave Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 07:29 (Agree/Disagree?) Tish, I've read a number of articles and comments posted on this site where some people feel they have to "straighten us out". We are constantly told the we haven't moved on and that this site sucks. First of all: I don't need anyone preaching at me, honey. I will say however, I am glad that you have found a site where you can speak you mind without your words or posts being censored or simply not published at all because the webmasters don't consider them positive enough. You need to vent, well.. vent. That's what this site is for. Secondly: When I find websites that I can't stand for one reason or another, or sites that I think suck or I feel people should get a life.. I don't go there. For awhile I though I had "moved on". But, with this whole Ricky thing, I'm right back to square one. Old wounds have reopened. I'm afraid those wounds will never heal now. I see now that sweeping my past under the carpet while I do my IT thing is not good enough. Come to think of it, Ricky heard "get over it" and "move on" one too many times from closeminded, sheltered people like you. The Dr. Phil approach will not work with this crowd, friend. You can't shout resolutions or solutions to people who are hurt and still grieving. If you want to see us move on, start by listening a bit first. Sincerely, dave (reply to this comment)

From Friday, February 18, 2005, 07:04 (Agree/Disagree?) I agree with Dave, it's actualy Tish who is slagging off people. We do "slag" of people and things but it's perverts and TF's twisted teachings. If she wants to defend their lifestyle, interpretations of the bible, practises, fine but she is on shaky ground with general name calling and insults.(reply to this comment)

From Roland Friday, February 18, 2005, 06:48 (Agree/Disagree?) Dave. Sounds like you were a " Shephard in TF. Venting and sharing points of view is what Moving on is all about. You sound to me like you haven"t moved on at all. You sound angry. Remeber that being open minded and listening means taking in points of view that differ from your own. I am sure that you have your reasons for needing to respond to these articles and that is fine, but I believe we would all be served better by giving and taking constructive criticism about our ideas. Try not to be so " self righteous" about how other people feel about things, maybe if you opened your mind a bit more you wouldn't be back at squre one!(reply to this comment)

from DeeJay Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 06:40 (Agree/Disagree?) I can understand your sentiment. i felt pretty much the same when i first visited the site (as you will see if you ever view some of my other comments), but i think you will find as you read more that that's not all it's about. and that there are many stages of "moving on" and all are equally important. I say this: Listen before you speak. Understand before passing judgement. Just because you do not feel this, does not mean someone else does not have reason to. You may be strong, some are not. Expression is a beautiful thing. Expressing one aspect of what you feel, does not tell someone everything that you are, nor everything about your life. it's simply that, an expression of one feeling. we all have many. that fact that we lead happy lives outside TF, does not imply that we do not have feelings toward TF that once in awhile scream to be let out. Does it really make you feel better to sit around endulging yourself in your self pity and misery? yes it does. sometimes. i don't have the luxury of talking about my childhood with my friends, due to certain circumstances. i find it both interesting and refreshing to talk with others who understand what i've been through and to hear about their experiences. Get a life? i have a pretty good one, thank you. this site just so happens to be a small part of it. (reply to this comment)

From melzar Monday, January 31, 2005, 03:27 (Agree/Disagree?) As I explained to my dad the other day, most of us have lives. Our lives have absolutely nothing to do with our past. Some of us don't even tell our colleagues, friends, even significant others about our past as it's just simply too unfathomable. This site is a place where people can vent and feel understood. Venting and anger are part of any grieving or moving on process. And every once in awhile, actually more often than not, I stumble accross articles, expressions, information, people who make my hidden life a little easier to bear.(reply to this comment)

from WipeyourTush Saturday, January 29, 2005 - 13:17 (Agree/Disagree?) Hey Tish you are talking from where the sun don't shine mate! some of us have got a life, there is nothing wrong with letting off some steam, at first this site stressed me out but now I am beginning to enjoy it, I find it therapeutic and healing to talk about these things with people who empathise, granted there are some bafoons that come to this site but not everyone is, I think you are generalising...not cool! (reply to this comment)

from GoldenMic Saturday, January 29, 2005 - 10:21 (Agree/Disagree?) It gets tiring to respond to comments like this, but decency requires that an attempt be made. Frankly, you are incorrect about the process involved in letting go and moving on. Any counselor with sufficient education and experience will confirm that the way to move efficiently through trauma is to lay it out there, repeating it and defining it as long as needed, until one has psychologically "mastered" the experience. Otherwise, the trauma is only buried in the psyche, resulting in unconscious "complexes" of destructive energy, and bursting forth from the unconscious in unseemly and immoderate ways. Frankly, I wish that many more survivors had the courage and the will to fully examine their past trauma, rather than naively assuming they can "muscle through", deny, and short-cut their way to health. It doesn't work that way. Probably, you have loved-one's and friends that KNOW this about you, that while YOU say you're all better now because you ignore the past, they would probably point out many, many areas where you are clearly "stuck", dysfunctional, and exhibiting and inflicting your past damage upon them. Of course, they can't tell you that, because you deny it exists, and so they will have to put up with you thinking you're all over it. I do not say this to be hurtful, but because you are wrong, and its sad to wonder how long others will have to pay for your unwillingness to face the ways you have been hurt and crippled by your life's experiences. I guess you could be one of the truly reslient one's, in which case you should be thankful rather than contemptous, but I have noticed that those who really do "move on" show MORE compassion, not less, and that its the most damaged who have the incivility to demonstrate such fury at the evidence that such trauma cannot be ignored, since it brings up the hidden truth that "all is not well". Please, shut up for a minute and think about it. Mike Martella. (reply to this comment)

From jenna Sunday, April 23, 2006, 18:29 (Agree/Disagree?) I completely agree with you on that issue, my doctor ( who by the way has no idea about my former life) Has told me that most of the problems i have with my health ( i have really bad migrains, and really high blood presure) Is cause i won't let anything out, that i have too much anger accumulated, that i have to losen up with other people , and let things out, other wise my frustrations and anger will only build up and cause me to have another stroke, i asked him why he thought that way, did he think i was an aggresive person? he said to the contrary , he thought that, because i didn't let it out , it was causing my body serious problems. he asked me when i had the stroke if i had argued with anyone, i said no, i got upset cause my boss was screaming and yelling at me, because of something i didn't do, and he said well maybe its your time to do a little screaming and yelling. it'll do you good!! believe me it has!!(reply to this comment)

From FGA with sis still in group Sunday, January 30, 2005, 06:14 (Agree/Disagree?) Just wanted to say that I agree with this statement: "I guess you could be one of the truly reslient one's, in which case you should be thankful rather than contemptous, but I have noticed that those who really do 'move on' show MORE compassion, not less, and that it's the most damaged who have the incivility to demonstrate such fury at the evidence that such trauma cannot be ignored, since it brings up the hidden truth that 'all is not well'. And to quote a wise man who lived many, many years ago (few thousand, to be exact): To every thing there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to pluck up that which has been planted; A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to break down and a time to build up; A time to weep and a time to mourn; And a time to dance; A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get and a time to lose; A time to keep and a time to cast away; A time to rend and a time to sew; A time to keep silence and a time to speak; A time to love and a time to hate; A time of war and a time of peace. (Eccles. 3:1-8) NO one can tell anyone else when that time is...but rather, it is an individual thing. Anger is part of the grieving process, which many here are still going through. It is true, that at some point, that anger needs to be let go, but it would certainly help if the recognition from the parents and leaders came first. See the posting : Speaking Out: statement of Mr. John LaMattery (Jan. 27, 2005). Now, that is where some real healing took place. I wish more parents/leaders would have the courage to do what he did...it is such a simple thing and yet so powerful and it is what would have the most impact on helping others here to "let go" of their anger and move on. There is power and love in asking AND giving real forgiveness. (reply to this comment)

From whiskers Sunday, January 30, 2005, 06:48 (Agree/Disagree?) Hi "FGA who has a sis in the Family". There's a great place for FGs to post and to dialogue. Go to http://www.exfamily.org/chatbbs/. Or there's the http://www.newdaynews.com/ (reply to this comment)

From FGA with sis still in group Sunday, January 30, 2005, 06:56 (Agree/Disagree?) Thanks! I'll try those...(reply to this comment)

From Vicky Sunday, January 30, 2005, 07:25 (Agree/Disagree?) For what it's worth, FGA with a sis still in group, I think your comments on this site so far have been interesting and valuable. (reply to this comment)

From FGA with sis still in group Sunday, January 30, 2005, 07:38 (Agree/Disagree?) Thanks, Vicky, I really appreciate that...I was starting to wonder as I got an email from another FGA'er warning me that I should leave before someone gets "peeved". I don't feel that I am preaching, and please forgive me if I seem to be...my heart just really breaks for you guys and I would like to try to be of some comfort and encouragement if possible. NO one likes to be preached to, me included. I, too, went through some really awful years of bitterness against mine and my daughters' abusers and have only in the past year, maybe, found healing. I was not ready before that, though, to listen to what anyone had to say, so, I do understand. And believe me, I have a VERY busy life as a Single mom and teacher of 120 highschoolers. I have always felt more drawn to helping young people than adults, though...there is still so much that can be done, no matter what the circumstances. I try and "be there" for my students on a daily basis, not only as a teacher, but as someone who tries to understand where they are coming from...that's just my nature. Anyway, thanks again and if I can continue to contribute in any way, I feel it a privelege... P.S. By the way, for the record, I was asked to be interviewed by one of the t.v. producers when all this came out as I had been interviewed years before, but I refused, telling them that it was YOUR time to speak out, and I think you are doing a great job of it! (reply to this comment)

From Vicky Sunday, January 30, 2005, 07:56 (Agree/Disagree?) As far as I'm concerned FGAs are welcome here. What I don't appreciate is when people who have no idea of our experiences in TF come here and talk about how they think we should deal with it, or try to get us to understand how 'nice' TF was, because 'they saved me from drugs', etc etc. We've heard that monologue hundreds, if not thousands of times before and it gets extremely tedious. I can't speak for anyone else, but thoughtful, insightful and supportive dialogue between the generations is always a positive thing, in my opinion.(reply to this comment)

From Rainbow Friday, February 04, 2005, 14:28 (Agree/Disagree?) Vicky ~ I'm one of those people who has no idea of the experiences you and so many others went through (or are still going through) and even if I did, I would NEVER advise a way for ANYone to "deal with it". I'm not even sure how I came upon this site, but it was quite a while ago. I've read things that are unthinkable and unbelievable, but am educated enough to know that they are descriptions of truth. There are several people I've met here and spoken to for long periods of time........even may have come to 'know' as best as is possible and they are truly grieving the loss of their lives. Emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. They tell me they don't even know where their personalities or characters comes from. They were stripped at an early age of any sense of esteem or confidence. Altho these people I've met are truly, truly in pain, they are some of the bravest and strongest people I'll ever know. This site stands for many things, not just to vent or support. It should be used as a tool for people who WEREN'T in the "cult" to learn and be aware of what happens in our world and goes unnoticed for so long. Those people.......like ME..............should support you in your life and endeavors. I feel ashamed of the generation who stole your souls and left you scarred and discarded! Those people should be held accountable for their actions, not allowed to just slither away in the dark. Altho their punishment will not erase any of the destruction they've caused in so many lives, it is a lesson that we must ALL be accountable for our actions, no matter HOW long it takes to bring them to justice. Obviously, I didn't know Ricky, but it seems to me that his main purpose in life was brought forward with his death. He GAVE his life for all of you and all those still oppressed in the "cult" so that it would meet its demise...........NOW! My heart swells with pride for all of you who find your own ways to "move on" and the rest of us have NO RIGHT to judge the fashion in which you choose to do it. You have my full support, my prayers, my thoughts and ANY help I can be is yours also. God Bless You ~ (reply to this comment)

From FGA with sis still in group Sunday, January 30, 2005, 08:18 (Agree/Disagree?) I agree...we can and NEED to learn from one another. Isn't that what this is all about? We ALL need to be open and nonjudgemental..and, of course, that includes TF!! I do not have any "testimonies" of being saved from drugs and the like. In fact, I was one of the rare ones who was not even a "hippy", though my peers who know what my life has been would THINK so, in comparison to theirs. No, I was actually pretty much of a "systemite" in many ways...popular cheerleader/president of the biggeset social club in HS/one of the 10 represestative Seniors of my class as well as a nice, church-going Christian looking for a way to serve God. I had become dissillusioned with the churches because lots of my friends' (who were out there doing drugs) parents were deacons and chior leaders in the church. I was so sad that they could not see where their kids were at. My parents barely went to church and were nearing a divorce, so, I was really looking for a "Family" (seems ironic now) and a purpose, and people who were like-minded in wanting to change the world for the better. I thought I had found that in the COG/Family until things started to get really weird, which is why I finally ended up leaving. I spent the next 25 or so years trying to make sense of it all. I finally went back to school 9 yrs. ago, got my degree (I had gone two quarters to a University when I "dropped out" and joined the group) and am now teaching. I would STILL like to go back someday and get my degree in Professional Counseling, but in the meantime, I just do what comes naturally, and that is, try to encourage others in whatever place they are in.... Thanks again for YOUR encouragement...it is nice to know your comments are appreciated...(reply to this comment)

from JohnnieWalker Saturday, January 29, 2005 - 09:42 (Agree/Disagree?) Tish, Hi. Thanks for expressing how you feel about the participants of this site. Isn't it wonderful that you can do so on this site without getting your article censored? I would highly recommend you go through all the other articles under the "This Site Sucks" section and read the comments people have made on articles similar to yours. Who knows? You might learn something new. Cheers. (reply to this comment)