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from iratepirates Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 18:00 (Agree/Disagree?) Stockholm Syndrome Origin of the name The syndrome is named after the Norrmalmstorg robbery of Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg, Stockholm in which the bank robbers held bank employees hostage from August 23 to August 28, 1973. In this case, the victims became emotionally attached to their victimizers, and even defended their captors after they were freed from their six-day ordeal. The term was coined by the criminologist and psychologist Nils Bejerot, who assisted the police during the robbery, and referred to the syndrome in a news broadcast. Capture bonding Main article: Capture-bonding An offshoot of the Stockholm syndrome is the aptly-used term capture-bonding defined as a bond that in some instances develops between captor and captive, or terrorist and hostage. The term is modeled on the Swedish woman who became so attached to one of the bank robbers who held her hostage that she broke her engagement to her former lover and remained bonded, or in bondage, to her former captor while he served time in prison. Loyalty to a more powerful abuser — in spite of the danger that this loyalty puts the victim in — is common among victims of domestic abuse, battered partners and child abuse (dependent children). In many instances the victims choose to remain loyal to their abuser, and choose not to leave him or her, even when they are offered a safe placement in foster homes or safe houses. This syndrome was described by psychoanalysts of the object relations theory school ( see Fairbairn) as the phenomenon of psychological identification with the more powerful abuser. (reply to this comment)

from Tish Saturday, February 19, 2005 - 11:10 (Agree/Disagree?) Total agree (reply to this comment)

from GoldenMic Saturday, January 22, 2005 - 12:24 (Agree/Disagree?) I found your comments commendable in some ways, but very offensive in others. Frankly, I am glad that you believe you have let go and moved on, and of course its wonderful to be able to toot one's own horn, so good for you. However, you are assinine in suggesting that Post Traumatic Stress occurs only for those who already have a disorder. The designation of this disorder is based on extensive research that conclusively demonstratetes that otherwise-healthy people can be permanently and irreparably damaged by significant stresses in their lives. If you are lucky enough to have been born with unusually high levels of resiliance, it seems arrogant, elitest, and heartless of you to fault others who may not be the same. Frankly, even if there are people here who would have been disturbed even without the horrifying abuses they suffered, why are you picking on them and trying to shame them for having personality defects they were born with? Are you just saying "I am all better now because I am so superior, and you people are scum because you still hurt"? The lack of compassion in this approach astounds me. What exactly is so wrong about reaching out to others who have been wounded, exploring those wounds, and slowly building up the strength to move on? What are you so worried about? The reaction I have to your contempt makes me want to respond by saying "nobody came to your door and ordered you to attend to our pain, and it seems that you cannot empathize or respect that pain, so maybe you shopuld join MENSA or some other self-congratulatory website where you can sit around and bad mouth those inferior scum who dare to suggest they have been hurt." Further, don't you believe a place as evil as TF deserves to have a counter-site, where the lies are exposed and the damage is given voice? Frankly, that's the least justice they deserve. I should tell you that I speak from the perspective of a long and happy marriage, two wonderful children, a college education, and a six-figure income, but such accomplishments do not stop me from feeling compelled to honor and respect the people with enough integrity and courage to get on this web-site and proclaim their pain, reach out to others, and insist upon justice. (reply to this comment)

From Xenon Saturday, January 22, 2005, 14:19 (Agree/Disagree?) NWMT(reply to this comment)

From Vicky Saturday, January 22, 2005, 12:33 (Agree/Disagree?) WELL SAID, GoldenMic!(reply to this comment)

from Excuse me!! Saturday, January 22, 2005 - 10:49 (Agree/Disagree?) If no one spoke out(it's not our fault it's not all rosy memories) then how the hell would we be able to do anything about seeking justice. We'll know not to thank you when we Activist's take Zerby and Kelly down. (reply to this comment)

from clark Saturday, January 22, 2005 - 09:26 (Agree/Disagree?) If you want to hear more positive stuff, then POST IT! We would love to hear about good things happening to you and there are lot of people who are doing well and can chime in. Get the ball rolling. Poeple are hurting right now because our "roll model" just murdered someone and took his own life, he was so lonley and devastated. That will open some old wounds. But instead of coming down on those who are venting thier hurt, pick poeple up, share something positive. We are all in the same boat, we have different persaonalities but we are a family and family shoud be there for one another and do everything in our power to pick people up and help them succeed. My 17 year old sister who got knocked up 2 years ago in TF just yesterday moved into her own apatment with her husband and little boy very near by me. YIPPIE. She is tops in her class in college, works at school and with the help of my mother is raising her son. I was crushed when I heared about her being PG. But she has turned her life around, has knocked out 2 yrs worth of college in a year, married her baby's daddy. They are have no money and their whole lives ahead of them. I am so HAPPY for them. They remind me of me when I left 8 years ago, all apartments smell the same. They are young and can do anything and be anybody they want to be. Life is wonderful. She is scared to death and thrilled at the same time. It's a big bad world out there but one thing TF did for all of us was make us very STRONG and versitile. Best of luck to ALL. (reply to this comment)

From Saturday, January 22, 2005, 11:04 (Agree/Disagree?) Unfortunately, when people go to the trouble of posting positive things, they tend to be deleted somehow. I guess there is someone on here who doesn't want others to hear that there are those going on with their lives and finding healing. By the way, I agree with what you said about us being a lot stronger than the average "joe". I get told that all the time. People have a hard time believing my story, and so do I at times, but it has made me who I am today: someone who is a lot more compassionate of others and empathic, as well as a lot stronger because I have learned to not take the crap I used to from ANYONE, without being angry and a victim. Victims never win, conquerers do. (reply to this comment)

From Jules Saturday, January 22, 2005, 11:28 (Agree/Disagree?) I do not appreciate your accusation that content is deleted when I don't like it. THAT IS NOT TRUE!!!! Shame on you. We have emailed long before this site even existed and since you are an FG former member, this is not your space. PLEASE RESPECT THAT IT IS OURS! I'm so tired of all the accusations the Family is making about this web site. It is an OPEN FORUM! Unlike the procult web sites where content is carefully screened and censored before posting people's "true opinions", this web site is open to anyone. (reply to this comment)

From Blondie_B78 Saturday, January 22, 2005, 14:01 (Agree/Disagree?) Have to back Jules up here. I am a bit less extreme in my views than some on this site. I have never ever had a post deleted. I have been "jumped on" by people who didn't agree with what I had to say. That's life though. Debate is healthy! If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen. It's great to have a place where everyone can exchange ideas without censorship. Thank you Jules!! Just wish that boards run by TF were like this too. (reply to this comment)

from frmrjoyish Saturday, January 22, 2005 - 08:08 (Agree/Disagree?) Of course there is a lot of complaining and bitching..that's what this site is for. Most of us do not sit around all day and bitch about what happened as children in our daily lives but this is, for many of us, the only place where we can connect with the only people in the world who understand us. For many of you newer visitors you just happened to come at a time when many raw emotions and wounds are being opened up due to the tragic events of late. Of course you're going to hear mostly anger and frustration at a time like this. Esp. when now TF and their liars are trying again to discredit us "vitriolic apostates". Had you found this site a few months ago you would've probably been bitching about all the political talk. For months the main topic around here was the upcoming election then the unfortunate results of that BS election (oh sorry...stick to the subject, Lydia :P). Anyway, if you stick around long enough you'll see that the main topics around here change often and are as varied as we are. Of course the main thread that holds us all together will always be there but just because this is a place we come to vent and heal does not mean we sit around all day and bitch about our lot in life. If you get to know more of us you'll find that we are smart, successful, funny, obnoxious, sexy, silly, argumentative, and many other things other than poor abused cult kids. (reply to this comment)

From dave Saturday, January 22, 2005, 09:19 (Agree/Disagree?) right on(reply to this comment)

from geo Saturday, January 22, 2005 - 06:41 (Agree/Disagree?) Well conqueror you’ve certainly impressed me. Not only did you leave the cult without committing suicide in the process you also lived out the American dream by actually teaching yourself html (you mean you didn’t even have to go to html school) and now work in middle management in a mid-sized corporation, xenon you make me jealous. Even with all your success you still find the time to post advise and boast of your achievements to other xmembers on this site who you must believe are living in cardboard shacks, whining about their past on the internet while refusing to move on with their lives. While I won’t repeat everything that’s been said on this subject before, because believe it or not you aren’t the only person new to this site who’s felt the need to impart such wisdom. I will point out though that the name of this site is neither “Moved on” or “Move on!!!” but “Moving on” which implies its for people who are still in the process of dealing with their pasts. Something else that may be difficult for you to comprehend is that some people actually have the ability to lead normal lives, go to school, be successful at their job, raise a family, and check this out, still talk frankly and openly about the first 15 to 20 years of their life. I know this is hard for you to understand but none of those things have to be mutually exclusive. I believe it is not a major achievement to simply go on with your life after leaving the cult, everyone has different advantages and disadvantages starting out, but simply living a mundane life requires no special skills. There are people on this site with a cause that are doing something about the past, or at least trying to. That’s more then I can say for myself. Im just dealing with my life and my future which keeps me busy enough. But Im not going to use my shiny example of a selfish life to belittle other people’s efforts at dealing with their own demons and I certainly wont criticize people who are taking action to track down the abusers and bring them to justice. (reply to this comment)

from Silence_Restriction_Kid Friday, January 21, 2005 - 23:16 (Agree/Disagree?) Horale Vato Loco Xenon, West siiiiiide! Oh wait I forgot I'm not a Cholo esse. (reply to this comment)

from JohnnieWalker Friday, January 21, 2005 - 23:02 (Agree/Disagree?) Why, oh, why don't people ever get it? Of course there is a lot of negativity on this site. Of course there is a lot of whining. That's what happens when you suppress people voices for years and years and then you finally give them a place where they can express all of their pent up feelings without censorship. I guarantee you, it is not the same people whining over and over again. They usually fade into the background once they've gotten things off their chest. Stick around a while. You'll soon see what I mean. (reply to this comment)

from DeeJay Friday, January 21, 2005 - 20:47 (Agree/Disagree?) Agreed. I found this site the day after you did, and you said it pretty good. I came looking for someone who could relate, but sadly most of it was just alot of whining and complaining. Wish there were more who thought this way. p.s. how's the wife and servants? heh (reply to this comment)

From Wolf Friday, January 21, 2005, 21:13 (Agree/Disagree?) Believe me, there are plenty who think the same way as Xenon. If you don’t see many of their comments, it’s because they’ve picked up and left while the whiners stuck around.(reply to this comment)

from Xenon Friday, January 21, 2005 - 19:14 (Agree/Disagree?) This isn't the section I chose for my submission... This site doesn't suck. The site is great. Some of the people who may visit the site from time to time suck. -.:.. ..:.- (reply to this comment)