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from DeeJay Friday, January 21, 2005 - 21:06 (Agree/Disagree?) Judging from the number of positive responses here, i'd say there's your answer, plus there's one more to count here. continued luck in your life as well. (reply to this comment)

from Superman Wednesday, January 12, 2005 - 21:23 (Agree/Disagree?) there are some happy people out there (reply to this comment)

from glorena Tuesday, June 17, 2003 - 01:08 (Agree/Disagree?) I have found that in order to get by, I have had to sort of be a comelian. I cannot fully open myself and my life to just anybody out there. But on the other hand I have been surprised to find some very open-minded people who can accept and understand far more than I imagined. Every person has their unique story no matter where they were raised or what culture they were raised in. There are countless tragedies I hear about all the time, things that I can relate to, but that happened under totally different circumstances and were influenced by different belief systems and life styles. To me, what it comes down to is this, I can relate to people and I can have close friends if I focus on the present and I don't let myself constantly slip into the chambers of the past in my mind to find the answers. Instead, I choose to find answers today, in educating myself, in learning from my new acquaintances and reaching into the future with a positive attitude. You are only as capable as you think you are. I have found this to be all too true. After all, what else can I do? There certainly are no answers in the past and in the injustices I survived? My best bet for a brighter future lies in my present. Using my skills, and improving on my strengths, to build my self esteem by developing relationships that help me in the direction I want to go in life. And finally, being true to myself, and finding out what it is I really want, and going for it! I don't know if this works for anyone else.......but that is one of the ways I have coped. (reply to this comment)

from 1984 Monday, June 16, 2003 - 22:30 (Agree/Disagree?) but bro, what is success, how can you measure that, according to western standars? what about those country folks who have never been to any civilized place, and they find their peace close to their dear ones, right now as i write this, my little nephew is trying to get my attention, and i can tell you bro that, though i find myself very successful in academical terms, i wouldn´t change the satisfaction i have found in my interaction with my dear ones in simple terms and matters for the, some times, superficial interaction i have to deal with in the academical world i´m in with my coleagues, etc. i know of people who have left the fam and now they work cleaning houses, washing cars, selling nuts in the street, etc, and they are doing very well. of course, these people wouldn´t be in your standars or in your perception of success, but in a way, they are moving on as well, and they are glad out of the cult. (reply to this comment)

from amo Wednesday, June 11, 2003 - 17:48 (Agree/Disagree?) I have been out of the group for about 5 years, I stumbled on this website a few days ago.  I totally agree with what you said.  I am going to college full-time to get my doctors in psychology, I am 24 years old, I have a great job, I am buying a gorgeous condo right downtown and my life couldn't be better. I read a couple things people have written, and I just couldn't read anymore. Our lives in the family were very difficult, but it is so important to not dwell on it, but to move on.  I have no friends from the family, my parents and sisters are still in the family and I see them once a year, but that is about it. For anyone who reads this who is just leaving, I know that it is hard, but my adivce would be just focus on what you want to do with the rest of your life and make your own dreams come true, and just forget about the horrible things that we have gone through. Also, I have seen a few articles were people don't know how to explain their childhood, what has worked for me is just to be honest with my friends and the people who are close to me, everyone else I just say my parents traveled a lot and  do not get into details about it. Over time you will realise that it is not such a big deal and you will get more accustomed and comfortable with it. (reply to this comment)

From Nick Thursday, June 12, 2003, 11:23 (Agree/Disagree?) I couldn't agree with you more. On both of your points that is. I have always been very candid about my background and my upbringing to all of my friends. They all know I was in a cult and that I didn't go to school as a kid etc. It's never once been a problem and I socialize with a very wide verity of people from doctors to dancers. Most of the time it goes from curiosity to it just being a none issue with people. It really does surprise me when I hear folks on this site say that that don't know how to tell the GF or BF. Or they have to hide it from their new friends. In fact I encourage my closer friends to come to this site so that they can maybe have a greater understanding of why I don’t know who won the super bowl in 1989 or why I have no idea who some cartoon character is from the 80’s. Also I agree that people need to simply move on. If you sit around ad dwell on the past and how bad you had it, or maybe use the cult as an excuse for failure then failure is exactly what you are going to achieve. I also left the cult and got a good job, bought a house and new cars etc. Anyone can do it once they put their mind to it. (reply to this comment)

From Mir Tuesday, June 17, 2003, 10:50 (Agree/Disagree?) I'm much the same as you Nick.  I really don't mind talking about it, but I have not gone so far as to direct people to this website except my husband and my closest friend because more than how it reflects on me, I feel bad about how it makes my mum look.  I feel sorry for my darling mother who has had enough crap to deal with in life without everyone knowing all the gory details.  I feel she has already paid for her mistake (we gave her hell for 8 years and some of us are still a bit wobbly).  Also, my brothers are not keen on telling everyone, in fact, one of my brothers has looked at this website and has tried to "forbid" me from coming to it (huh- as if!!!) I must admit that when I first found this website I went through a little "grieving" time all over again.  After a while I told myself to snap out of it, and I have.  I like to come here because on some level I can relate to everyone, and even though some of us are pretty weird, I can still appreciate where they are coming from.   Cheers (reply to this comment)

From Christy Tuesday, June 17, 2003, 14:31 (Agree/Disagree?) I totally agree with with you Mir on not talking about your past because of how it makes your mom look. I've felt much the same way regarding my parents. If I were to tell my friends about how little education I've actually gotten or about how I spent my teen years doing full time childcare and cooking etc., I feel it would put my parents in a very bad light. I also have to accept the fact that I chose to stay in TF till I was almost 24 years old. I did this believing I was doing the right thing and serving the Lord, but also knowing much of the inside scoop regarding TF's past record. So far I haven't talked about my Family upbringing with any of my friends. After reading about how some people on this site have approached this, I am now considering telling at least my closest friends. So far, I've sort of found ways about talking about my childhood and "high school" years in a way that people could at least somewhat relate. I've been able to explain away things that I should know but don't (ex. various trivia such as popular songs from the 80's) by the fact that I lived overseas for so much of my life.  Up until recently I've really seperated myself from my past life. I've had very little contact with ex-members aside from my family and a few close friends. A few months ago I came across this site while surfing the web. It's brought back a lot of memories and had helped me to admit and accept some things regarding my past. It's great to see how many former SG's are doing so well with their careers and education. I know how much harder most of us have to work compared with many of our peers, in order to succeed. I am now one semester away from graduating (with honors) with an undergraduate in elementary education. I've been paying my way through school by waitressing and bartending.   (reply to this comment)

From Joe H Friday, June 13, 2003, 18:40 (Agree/Disagree?) I don't talk about it because I simply don't want to.  I want people to think of me as JOE, not as Joe the cult-kid.  I don't like explaining myself to people who don't understand.  I've told some of my closest friends but that's it, the rest of the world simply doesn't need to know.  They can relate to my current personality just fine without knowing details about my past.  (reply to this comment)

From katrim4 Friday, June 13, 2003, 13:29 (Agree/Disagree?) On the one side I can see how it would be a non issue to tell people about your childhood and past. Especially for those of us who's childhoods weren't necesarrily traumatic, just a little weird. But I can certainly understand how it would be much more difficult to tell someone if you had to get into all of the details of the abuse that took place. That awkwardness would be even worse if you were telling a person you really cared about and weren't so sure how they were going to react. I don't go around broadcasting how I grew up. Little snipets like " I have 12 brothers and sisters" raise peoples eyebrows enough as it is. While I agree that it isn't something earth shattering to be afraid of, I still wouldn't tell anyone that I didn't think needed to know. (reply to this comment)

From frmrjoyish Thursday, June 12, 2003, 22:26 (Agree/Disagree?) I think it's really great that you guys have found success in life.  Good for you and all of us who have.  I have to say, though, that I'm really shocked at how many people on this site find it so easy to reveal to others their past.  I, for one, did my absolute best to never reveal this to anyone. Even to the extreme of making up a childhood to everyone.  Now, I didn't go around advertising my "story", but esp. with boyfriends who would really press me on the issue it just seemed more comfortable than the truth. For some reason, I was scared to death that anyone would find out.  If on the rare occasion I was to bring one of them home to "meet the parents" there was a huge lecture beforehand on what to say and what not to say. I don't know why really, if it was a desperate desire to fit in, or just shame.  I know it was not my choice to be in TF, but somehow that just doesn't make it any easier to tell people. Perhaps it was because when I got out I was thrown straight into high school completley unprepared socially or emotionally for this type of alien atmosphere.  HS is tough on any normal kid but for me, as a "cult kid" it was esp. difficult.  I guess trying so hard to be "normal" and fit in with these people.  I was lucky and did have good experiences and was very socially involved in HS but on the inside I was terrified.  Being discovered was truly my greatest fear.  As I've grown older (yuck..I hate how that sounds!!) I've made my peace with my childhood, if you can call it that, but I guess it's turned into a habit for me to hide my past.  I've done real well at moving on except in this one area.  Since I've found this site its been really amazing for me to see that there are so many other people who've had the same experience as me.  I guess being isolated from other exers, I forgot how much we all have in common.  Even though I'm not really in personal contact with hardly anyone, just knowing that I'm not alone has been meant alot to me.  It's great to be able to talk to people freely about my childhood without any hesitaiton at all.  I'm really proud of everyone so far on this site (with a few exceptions :)) as most people seem to have really come a long way.  The intelligent commentary here is amazing esp. given our poor education during our childhoods.  Keep it up everyone!!!!!   (reply to this comment)

from Isislively Friday, February 14, 2003 - 11:30 (Agree/Disagree?) I do agree with alot of what you said. I left the Family over nine years ago when I was 14. At the time I hated everything they were and are and everyone who had anything to do with it, except my brother. Yes, I hated my parents and the leaders and shepherds who had put me through so much crap in the different Victor programs I was in. To save my sanity and begin a "normal" life, I buried very deeply all memories I had of life before 14. I made many many friends and, like alot of people I guess, went a little nuts with all the freedom I had all of a sudden. I went through alot and by trial and error began to discover who I was, outside of the box TF had put me in. Besides my brother and the occasional fight with my mother I didn't have any contact with TF and didn't know anyone who'd left, and that's the way it needed to be. I did eventually meet some exfam when I moved to Texas and, again, that was needed at the time, and I made some great friends, but more often than not, I'd find myself depressed when discussing TF. Later on, I got married and had two beautiful girls, and all in all a very successful life. I'm divorced now, and still finding out things about myself everyday, and I do believe I've found a happy medium in my feelings on TF. Certainly, I still do not agree with the things they stand for, and their practices, but hating them is not worth my time and energy! There are so many other things I want to do with my life, I'm still just getting started. I have a successful job, and am going to chef school in the fall, and, of course, my two faerie girls, (who can be demons at times), and the people I love, love me and accept me for who I am. When I first left, I never told anyone about my past. But I've come to realize that it's nothing that I should be ashamed of, and I wouldn't be the strong person I am today otherwise. My point is, we shouldn't try to hide who we are or how we grew up, but we also don't need to dwell constantly on the bad memories, IMO. I'm really glad my brother (who is out now, too) told me about this site, as it is a fun place to visit every so often, and for those who are helped by the posts here, great! One of my biggest issues when I first left is that I did feel very much alone and abandoned by my family. I got alot of "we're praying that you'll see the error of your ways." and "you know what god does to backsliders" etc, etc. and it was extremely hard to buck the tide of 14 years of brainwashing, so it would've been nice to know there were others out there who felt the same. All I can say is everyone has to get through it in their own way, and if coming to this site to vent your spleen is the thing that helps you most, go for it! If steering clear of anything family related helps you, more power to ya! The important thing is, we got out, and we're all working on putting our lives together, and it may be quicker for some and harder for others, depending on how much baggage we carry, but WE GOT OUT! And we all deserve a round of applause for taking that biggest step of all! Cheers! (reply to this comment)

from Jules Sunday, February 09, 2003 - 23:43 (Agree/Disagree?) Jovi, One quick thing you can do is check the user directory. A number of people have listed their occupation and many are students and/or professionals. One of the things I have been meaning to do for ages is send some interview questions to some of the people I know that are success stories. There are some very impressive accomplishments out there, but like so many things on my list, I haven't gotten to it yet. Perhaps I should just post the questions here. (reply to this comment)

From ... Friday, February 14, 2003, 18:28 (Agree/Disagree?) Also to add, that there are those of us who, like myself--either because of other responsibilities or personal choice--may not be students and/or professionals, but are success stories in our own right: happily married, happily raising kids, happily adjusting, and happily enjoying our new life, regardless of the unique challenges that we face with the backgrounds that we have. So, even if we don't have the "credentials" that many consider accompany a "success story," we are certainly successes! (reply to this comment)

From Jules Tuesday, February 18, 2003, 09:36 (Agree/Disagree?) You're so right, there are many paths to "success" and what that even is might be different for all of us. Personally I have a tremendous amount of respect for the young people that are parents and who in addition to all the challenges we face are giving their children the love and support and happy childhood that so many of us missed out on. My sister Jo and brother in law Rob have two children and in addition to being university students they are terrific parents. My unbiased opinion is that their children are the most wonderful niece and nephew ever. Jo and Rob, you totally rock. :D (reply to this comment)

from dave Sunday, February 09, 2003 - 15:11 (Agree/Disagree?) Good post Jovi. I’ve thought some of the same things at times myself. To answer, well… I, like a number of people who first found this site MovingOn.org did so quite by accident. In my case I had left the cult years before. I was doing some personal research and came here much to my surprise. The very existence of this site is a success story from an old friend who grew up in the cult and persevered. (Again Jules, great job here!!) I may be deviating from the topic a little bit here but I don't think we can (or should attempt to) define people solely by how they communicate on this site. For example, I know some people who post articles and comments on this site that may give readers the impression that they (the authors of the articles/comments I'm referring to) are nothing but "losers" who haven't "moved On", sitting around all day playing video games and posting stupid stuff online. Some of these “authors” probably don't mind such a reputation. But what most people don't know is that some of these "loser" authors who haven't "moved On" are in college full-time or have already graduated with degrees and are extremely successful in the professional lives. Some of these "virtual bums" probably make more money going to work 5 days a week that many of us but see no need to brag about it. I think we should assume we know nothing about a person unless we know them personally. This is a very broad statement that I will refine here: No matter how much we know about someone, unless we know them personally, have met them in person, or unless they write personal details about themselves, we can conclude that we only know fifty percent of the complete person, and that’s a large percent. Just because someone doesn’t announce “I’m a medical school graduate” doesn’t mean they are not. Some people are very private in nature. There are other reasons why people prefer to not say much about their personal and professional lives on the Web. I understand what you mean though, Jovi. I too would like to read more successful accounts on this site but I for one, don’t have much time to write. I’m planning on getting into school soon while trying to juggle a 50+ hour workweek working with Linux servers, programming, and all that IT stuff. Sincerely, Dave (reply to this comment)

From Jovi Sunday, February 09, 2003, 17:30 (Agree/Disagree?) Why so sensitive dave? what makes you think that i think everyone here is a loser? again, you might have missed the point of my question.I'm sure there're a lot who are studing and have a very good life and I wouln't mind reding about their success it's nice to know about ppl moving on don't you think?i mean what's wrong with being positive It's not about ''braging''.and if this is not your case then don't worry about defending ''your friends''or ''author'' who don't mind''such reputation''.(reply to this comment)

from Lauren Sunday, February 09, 2003 - 10:50 (Agree/Disagree?) Jovi, it would seem to me that most people don't come to this site to brag or to tell everyone how good they've got it. Those kinds of things they can tell anyone at any time & often if one feels an great need to tell others about how well they are doing (unless it is to answer an honest question such as yours)then chances are, the person is deluded about how "well" things are actually going. But when it comes to the point of needing to let some steam off regarding your past, there are a limited few who can understand or relate to it and this site provides a forum for it. From my own personal experiences and from what I've observed from the people I know personally who post on this site, what is written here is not a good reflection of what those people are like in every day life, nor does it reflect their successes or failures in life. Some perhaps, but not all. (reply to this comment)

From Jovi Sunday, February 09, 2003, 17:21 (Agree/Disagree?) Why the term brag? sounded something the fam would say. To say that you're happily studing or married to a nice person or have a good job is not''braging'' why such limited thinking?? anyway if you read again my articule i do understand and respect all of those who suffered while in the fam, but i'm not talking about braging, just wanna know if someone has something diff to say besides all the same stuff we always hair. (reply to this comment)

From Jovi Sunday, February 09, 2003, 18:04 (Agree/Disagree?) oops!I meant hear.(reply to this comment)

from DodgyTodger Friday, February 07, 2003 - 12:26 (Agree/Disagree?) Jovi, I browse this site often enough but remain cautious about expounding on my details and personal situation. This is simply because it is in the public domain and although ideally one's upbringing shouldn't endanger their career prospects there is a lot of very explicit, dark and controversial content here so I'm not taking that chance. This is one of the more sincere questions posted here - I've been out for 6 years and everything has gone precisely as planned. If you would like to hear a "moving on" story from a positive chap who is looking forward and has a mixed group of ex and on non ex friends, drop me an email via my profile. (reply to this comment)

from Friday, February 07, 2003 - 11:52 (Agree/Disagree?) I left the Family, and I don't meet up with any ex-family members either. I keep in touch with some via email (being forwarded jokes, etc), but that's it. I'm married now to someone (he doesn't know about TF), and I am happy with him and we live our life. The only thing that's sad is my parents send me prophecies every so often, telling me to open my eyes and wake up, the Endtime is coming and you shall perish if you're not in My Will, etc., and then write, "I wasn't sure if I should give this to you, but the Lord told me to." I feel like they're secretly praying that something horrible happens in my life or something. I have no support whatsoever to the decision that I made in my life, and they have always been lukewarm towards my husband, because he is a systemite. --At least he is loyal and would not betray anyone he's close to for the world. My siblings who are still in are very sweet and treat me as if nothing has changed, and it's always nice to know that at least your siblings are not wishing bad things happen to you. All of a sudden the shepherds and my parents think that my siblings and them coming to visit me would be a bad influence. Why? Because I left? I never told any of my siblings to leave, and I even paid for their tickets and landing funds to go to their respective mission fields, and I feel like I've all of a sudden labeled as a bad influence. Why am I all of a sudden being called a bad person? And that's just one thing that really hurts me, and I can't talk to my husband about it because he doesn't know anything about the Family. It's I think my only burden, that thing that makes me feel heavy and makes me cry and this is the only place I can let it go. I can't even write my own parents privately, as there is only one computer in the house, and the TW sends and receives emails. I was told by one of my siblings that the last email that I sent to my parents, the TW held onto it for a week, and warned my parents or something. --Makes me wonder if some of my emails get to my parents at all. (reply to this comment)

From Jovi Tuesday, February 11, 2003, 20:55 (Agree/Disagree?) I'm very sorry the way your parents feel about you and your husband.It's sad when ppl get so ''controled'' with the pear pressure the family promote in this situations. I guess all these kind of things make us be better parents, but i undertand you, it's hard to think that your parents can choose to go around saying what good missionaries they are or ''showing god's love to the world'' but not show it to you,or hear from the lord about what to lecture you about and not take the time to find out how you feel.i believe there're much ppl like them in the fam. just by reading your note I know that you're a sweet and sincere person don't let elementary ppl get you to think you're not or that you're worldly or whatever things they say about one when leaving the fam, it's just that elementary thinking. I agree with you in not sharing your past with your husband I mean how could you explain this to him? it's not easy at list not for now.I know that even ppl who didn't grow up in the fam don't talk about their''dark past''specialy when there's not much nice things to talk about, its always better to wait untill you're prepared to do so.and as you said, your husband's been loyal to you why caused him a sad moment or hurt if he respects the fact you don't wanna talk about it. Hope you the best! the way i see it, at list in my case, is that the only family i owe my self to it's my wife and kids, the rest: parents and all don't exist.But that's just me,of course. take care!(reply to this comment)

From question? Tuesday, February 11, 2003, 15:49 (Agree/Disagree?) I am curious to know to know how in the world you could marry someone without telling him about your background. (reply to this comment)

From Tuesday, February 11, 2003, 20:13 (Agree/Disagree?) My husband knows that my parents are missionaries, that my siblings are in the uttermost parts of the earth as whatever fancy name the centers name themselves (Educational Resourses Officer, Administrative Officer, etc) but I didn't tell him, "Yeah, my parents are missionaries with this group known as TF, they used to FF in the past, and Argentina persecution, and the France persecution, etc., etc." So on those days when he thinks I'm being such a considerate compassionate person or someone with high morals, he just says, "Gosh, your parents reared you so well." --I leave it at that. Give credit to my parents, but I'm not about to drag the whole Family and its COG past, and "What you see is Jesus' love in me"-thing. And it's worked out for me so far, maybe just sometimes when I need to vent about other Family members did, I can't share that with him, and I have to get over it myself, or come here to this site. (reply to this comment)

From 1984 Saturday, February 15, 2003, 12:04 (Agree/Disagree?) agreed, why should you tell him about your parents past, i mean, it is not your past, you did not go out ffing and molesting little children and promoting family weird doctrines, it was not your foult to be born in a cult. I ´ve been out for a while, and of course i´m not going around telling every one about my past, why should i on the first place? after all, when i was face with the depressive facts of family history, i knew that i had nothing to do with the cult any longer, and i´m sure the same happened to you. i can tell for your note you r a nice person, it´s so funny, who has not gone through those feelings (being cursed by people in the cult) when they asked me to leave, their argument was that if i stayed an accident could happen to the children in the home. funny, those who gave me such an ultimatum are out as well, very pathetic, to say the least. so dear person, i know what is that, so much mental torment for nothing... p.s. when i talked about ffing, molesting, etc i´m not saying that your parents were involve in that, i´m refering my self to the first generation in generic terms not as individuals. all my respect to your parents, and my very best wishes to you(reply to this comment)

From .. Friday, February 14, 2003, 11:47 (Agree/Disagree?) I guess I thought husband and wives should share everyone. I would be very irked to find out my significant other had not be completely honest with me about his past. (reply to this comment)

From ... Friday, February 14, 2003, 11:48 (Agree/Disagree?) oops..I meant "everything"(reply to this comment)

From Isislively Friday, February 14, 2003, 12:14 (Agree/Disagree?) Yeah, right. Talk about a Freudian Slip! LOL! ;)(reply to this comment)

From someone who's been there Sunday, February 09, 2003, 08:32 (Agree/Disagree?) please don't take this the wrong way but are you planning on ever letting your husband know anything about TF?? even if he never experienced it himself it might help being able to speak to him about what you're going through, even if all he can do is listen and sympathise.........I don't know, it's a very personal choice however when I was married I never spoke about anything, I'm divorced now since some time and am seeing someone now and have chosen to share my past with him, which I have found quite helpful as our past is what makes a part of what we are now and I feel that personally it's been a help not having to hide all of it from the person sharing my life. anyhow, hope this didn't sound like some sort of sermon or something because it isn't! take care, my thoughts are with you.......and don't let that "bad person" lable get to you, I don't know you but am persuaded that you are not one. courage friend.(reply to this comment)

From TimR Saturday, February 08, 2003, 01:27 (Agree/Disagree?) I know how you feel, I still have some siblings in the cult too. All I've been able to do is just keep in touch, and keep letting them know that we're there for them when they're ready to leave. I wish I knew how to speed up this process.(reply to this comment)

From porceleindoll Friday, February 07, 2003, 22:00 (Agree/Disagree?) Thank you for posting that good insight to your life and how you deal with the different things that come up with your parents and the questions it leaves in your mind. Things like (withholding emails, restricting your communication with your siblings) make me quite upset and I know that one day it will come back on your parents and they will regret the choices they have made in these areas, and it will be too late to make it up to you. It has happened in my family and my dad is surely regretting his decisions to bring us into and raise us in the Family.(reply to this comment)

From Puff Friday, February 07, 2003, 13:42 (Agree/Disagree?) I don't know who you are, I wish I did. You sound so sincere, and I feel bad about your situation. Unfortuneately there are some extremely immature ppl in the fam. You should confront the situation, if you need a friend. Write me. (reply to this comment)

From Saturday, February 08, 2003, 16:20 (Agree/Disagree?) Thank you, Puff, Rorceleindoll, & Tim R for your encouraging words. You don't know how comforted I felt reading what you wrote. I know there really isn't anything I can do or say at this point to resolve the situation, but I do hope that things work out in the end. --Starting with a much needed home-change for my parents and siblings, as I think it's really just that home that's so letter-of-the-law. But thank you for hearing me out. (reply to this comment)

from Puff Friday, February 07, 2003 - 10:27 (Agree/Disagree?) well it seems to me that it is a very good question, nevertheless from the what I have seen here on this site, that this is not really the issue of, lets move on, but rather how much crap can I spew out, what irrelavant subjects can I talk about, and how can I continue to justify the useless life I still have. I have been really diappointed with this site, as I was hoping to find old friends or make new ones, but more as a support group in the positive. I don't have time to just waste on subject that seem to me to have no positive effect on me or my life. So many of those who are regulars on this site that critize those who have remained (by their own choice, for their own reasons, fall into the same category of one-sided, empty, and brainwashed themselves. So what can we do to change this, and actually be better, to learn from our past and truly move on? (reply to this comment)

From neez Friday, February 07, 2003, 11:01 (Agree/Disagree?) "What can we do to change this & move on"..? Why don't u start by moving out of the family..(reply to this comment)

From Friday, February 07, 2003, 19:05 (Agree/Disagree?) (reply to this comment)

From Puff Friday, February 07, 2003, 13:40 (Agree/Disagree?) I am not a family member. I left over 2 years and I am very happy with my decision. I feel freer now that I don't have constant condemnation for things that are normal. I just don't like to go to any extreme. I had really good times in the fam & I still have friends in, although we have chosen different paths, I think mutual respect is what makes a dif. to set the record straight...just because you leave doesn't mean you need to diss everyone & everything.(reply to this comment)

From neez Friday, February 07, 2003, 18:25 (Agree/Disagree?) & u think they can honestly say they have 'chosen' this path? That choice was made for them, even if they refuse to comprehend it.(reply to this comment)

From neez Friday, February 07, 2003, 18:27 (Agree/Disagree?) It's just easier to stay in..(reply to this comment)

from thepersoniamnow Friday, February 07, 2003 - 10:20 (Agree/Disagree?) You`ve had quite the success story urself there Jovi (reply to this comment)

From Tiger Sunday, February 09, 2003, 01:43 (Agree/Disagree?) Jovi, I also just found this site by chance around the new year, I've been out a while and like you have little contact with many Xpats. I email quite a few people who I've known both in and out of TF. I have been able to make some close friends since leaving & I spend my leisure time with these people. At times having the past that I have it's been an interest of mine to know what others in my predicament have gone on to do and how their thoughts and perspectives have developed with time. I don't think that I will make this site my one and only activity, yet I think the whole concept is a positive one. Granted there are things said and conversations that I don't agree with and I think the fact that I don't visit too often speaks for itself. But I supposed the way I see it, any dialogue between people and any forum for it is better than none. Especially for people who have recently left or have a difficult time in the social arena for whatever reason. Best of luck and take care. (reply to this comment)

From OrdinaryGuy Sunday, February 09, 2003, 23:34 (Agree/Disagree?) Yoo-hoo, I finally found my password for my nick, Ordinaryguy, so I can post under my original nick!! As far as college goes, if U haven't checked it out, I highly recomend U do, this is the time of year y'all to be studying for those ACT and/or SAT tests (in the US)if U want to get in for Fall semester (September). I have had a crazy "Short Term" (we have a month-long term w/ only 1 course all day during Jan that is inbetween Spring and Fall terms), stayed up till 4 every night for this class, Governmental/Non-profit Accounting, but I got my A (happy meeeee). Spring Semester has started and I am taking a pretty large overload so will be staying up tonite, but I am loving it!!!! I am about to enter my 5th year, NO DEBT YET!!! I have been awarded about $120K in scholarships and grants so far (not like I see any more than about $1300 a semester to live on, but it covers rent, car, etc) I go to a relatively small institute that has been ranked #1 in it's category by US News for several years now, it has high academic standards so it's fun to watch all the highschool 4.0 GPAs freak out that the classes are hard here. I could've graduated last semester but I really like it and am getting a second major since scholarships will cover 1 more year, many people see college as just a path to a better job, but it's really one of the funnest times cuz U are around tons of people Ur own age with similar interests, crazy keg parties and also stress-out study/paper-writing times, plays, dances, etc, at little to no cost. I've got to get back to studying, I just wanted to get people who are putting it off to check it out. Peace(reply to this comment)

From Jovi Monday, February 10, 2003, 09:53 (Agree/Disagree?) Way to go OrdinaryGuy!!(reply to this comment)

From 1984 Saturday, February 15, 2003, 12:21 (Agree/Disagree?) hey Jovi, it´s me, your bro, i´m very glad you´re starting a new life and soon you´re going to College, i´m quite glad that you r finally moving on. ps thanks for your article, it´s a good thing to bring out the positive and beauty aspect of life, some times sadly avoided in this site. best wishes, your brother.(reply to this comment)