Moving On - Children of the Children of God

Call me sensitive. Call me nostalgic. Call me whatever you like. However, I was shocked at the reception I got upon visiting a "Family Home" (full-time members, no less) recently. I felt I had walked into a cold, dark, emotionless place. Mind you, I have never been the "bitter" or "antagonistic" type, but they treated me as such. There was "no love" in the air. It wasn't suspicion; it was complete and utter lack of anything! There was no soul about the place. There was nothing warm about it. They knew who I was (a former member) and yet they treated me like a stranger and with _zero_ concern.

It was bizarre. These were supposedly self-proclaimed "Christians" that were supposed to do-unto-others, etc. and yet they were colder than some tribe in the Amazon forest meeting an outsider for the first time. What happened?

Has it really come to this with them? They can have their "ye are either for me or against me" mantra all they like . . . but such lack of anything? And I am not talking about leaders, FGAs, or anything here. I am talking about people (SGAs) I used to know and quite well (and even called friends). Is that what this group has become?

Unbelievable! And they call themselves Christians! I am not, but don't they, at least, believe to "love the sinner, hate the sin"? I felt nothing of that. I felt nothing but utter contempt.

Shame on them! I went to visit old friends, but left feeling like an animal no longer wanted.

Reader's comments on this article
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from lemonhillrose
Monday, December 22, 2008 - 14:47
(Agree/Disagree?)
I'm afraid i have seen similar behavior in other groups after one has left them..not as bad though.
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from PopNFresh
Monday, August 11, 2008 - 20:46
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Since you haven't obtained your "key of hallucination", you probably didn't notice you were accompanied by Mr. & Mrs. Doubt and all their little Doubtlets. They are on guard, and resisting the enemy! PTL! TYJ!

In all seriousness though I understand your dismay. I used to be close to my stepsister, and now we can't talk about anything. She's still in, so when we joke about the "good ol' days" she just gets so very defensive. It's like we didn't live and go through all that together. When I talk to my other sister, it seems like at times she has individuality, but as soon as I mention something even remotely negative it's like a switch goes on where immediately you are the enemy, and nothing you say should be accepted. It's painful to see because it's like you know it's there, but they're so trained to supress it.

If I talk about my success or if things seem to be going well for me it's like they don't believe it. It's impossible to be truly happy outside the cult. I think my younger sister doesn't believe it as much, but sometimes I wish my step-sister could see that. Two amazing women with so much potential wasted away in a cult. So very sad.

The coldness of the homes in general was something that I saw the day I told people I was leaving. Instantly I was an outsider. These people who just one day earlier were so loving and caring suddenly treated me like a lepper. It was good for me though, as it helped me get over that whole "this is my family" mentality that was the last little strand holding me in.
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from Moonsetter
Thursday, August 07, 2008 - 11:32
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What did you expect, man? When you develop a mind of your own and turn your back on the herd, there is nothing but resentment. Every sheep fears the odd-one-out. You abandoned the hive and chose to forge your own paths out where the grass truly is greener, thus they look on you with a combination of resentment and awe that you actually made a decision on your own. You are clearly in a different league; you have evolved in ways their feeble sheep minds can't understand. You are not one of their equals anymore. This is a cause for celebration!
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from Randi
Thursday, August 07, 2008 - 04:17
(Agree/Disagree?)

You shouldnt allow yourself to feel like a forsaken animal on their account. They're just wierd. They probably feel self concious and maybe slightly ashamed. At least the SGAs. They know you might think of them as being insane and not smart enought to leave etc... that is probably why they are acting that way...It probably has nothing really to do with you.

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from madly
Wednesday, August 06, 2008 - 23:25
(Agree/Disagree?)
I am confused as to your surprise. When was there ever a feeling such as the one you expected to find?
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From Marc
Wednesday, August 06, 2008, 23:50
(Agree/Disagree?)
I was surprised as it was the first time I had visited a "home" since leaving the group over 12 years ago. I didn't know what to expect, but I sure didn't expect such cold people. Anyway, I suppose I should not have been so surprised, but I was.(reply to this comment)

From madly
Thursday, August 07, 2008, 00:11
(Agree/Disagree?)

I guess, for me, I would have just expected to feel that way. The way I always felt, a sort of nothing, empty and void. They lacked any sense of genuine emotion.

That's how I always new it was a lie, what they told people. They offered something they never had, and never gave to me.(reply to this comment)

From madly
Thursday, August 07, 2008, 00:45
(Agree/Disagree?)
*knew(reply to this comment)
from Phoenixkidd
Wednesday, August 06, 2008 - 12:11
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Why even go back? Make some new friends. I am surprised they even let you in the house, I know that a while ago, when leaving was rare for 2nd generation we wouldn't have let any ex-members in the house. Just leave and find other ex-friends or better yet make new ones.
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From Marc
Wednesday, August 06, 2008, 23:52
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Obviously I wasn't going "back" to make new friends. I went to the house to visit with my brother (who is still in). I didn't care about any of the other people there and would have preferred to meet him _anywhere_ else.(reply to this comment)