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Getting Real : Speak your peace
This thread is closed
Rites of Passage Into Manhood | from tuneman7 - Tuesday, February 13, 2007
accessed 3873 times Thoughts on life. ... 
Rites of passage into manhood:
When a man senses that he is on the verge of crossing the threshold and taking his first step into true emotional manhood that man sometimes takes certain actions in order to remind himself and others for the rest of his life what lessons that passage into manhood taught him. Sometimes a man cuts and/or marks his skin so that he will always remember those lessons. I have done so.
Prior to the battle of the last two years I had no ink on my body and only one piercing in my left ear, no piercing in the right ear. The battle of the last two years, as well as all my education, as well as all my work experience, has culminated over the last three months during which time I've done more intense soul-searching that I have a prior 32 years combined.
I've pierced both of my ears left and right to signify balance. A byproduct of that balance is the ability to display beauty, or intimidate foes. I wear beautiful and at times intimidating pieces in these ears to signify to friends that I'm one of them and beautiful like them. To enemies the tribal patterns strike fear and awe, this is the intended result.
I have found that in life you must know who your friends are. I divide people into three categories; friends, enemies, last but not least we have frienemies. The third category is the most dangerous, these are individuals who seem to be friends, but the instant you cease to give what it is that they desire, need or lust after, they show their true colors and indicate that in fact they were never your friend but simply were attracted to what it is that you could give them, or the way the you made them feel about themselves.
I have also born the pain of two beautiful works of art on my body, I bled to receive these pieces, and their colors on my skin will remind me and others until the day of my death of these awareness is and truths which I now embrace in my personal life without hypocrisy.
On my right chest muscle, I have imprinted in black and gold and white my family crest. It is the same crest that exists on my signet ring which I will pass on to my heir when he has reached 21 years of age. My family crest is a wall, similar to a castle wall, which has on top of it a chest of drawers, on top of the chest of drawers there is an armor clad hand clenching a wreath of Holly. Arching over the above described the scene there is a ribbon with the four Latin words;"Haud Ullis Labentia Ventis," which is the war cry of my ancestors. Those words are interpreted as meaning, not easily shaken by any wind, not easily shaken in a very strong wind, or not easily shaken by the strongest winds.
This work of art signifies what I hold closest to my heart and what most gives me strength to wield my right arm in the world and conquer what I must. I must always be true first to myself and what I believe. I am the custodian of my own conscience and my own future. Only I have that power, it may not be taken from me, although I may incorrectly choose to entrust the wrong people with it.
On my back on the left-hand side I received the pain to depict two beautiful lions. There is a reason that is on my left side, the weakest side.
I have found that in anything noteworthy that I endeavor to do in life it is necessary for me to have a strong partner. Some things I can do on my own, but for the most intensive tasks it is necessary to have a strong partner. I am a lion, therefore my partner must also be a lion. By lion I do not mean one born under the astrological sign of Leo, but rather an individual of principle, strength, moral fortitude and un-shaking steadiness in the face of opposition.
Anything that I have endeavored to do in life, when I reflect back, I find that the only reason I was able to do it was because I was in the company of another warrior lion. Before going into battle is absolutely certain that I ascertain whether or not the other going into battle with me is in fact a lion. What I have found is that there are many individuals in life masquerading as lions, but, in fact, they are mice, or, worse yet, rats. When I encounter one who appears to be a lion I must test that individual to ascertain whether or not the individual is in fact a lion or a mouse. If I determine that the individual is a mouse is imperative that I do not mistakenly going to battle with that individual thinking that the individual is a lion. I may not going to battle with that person at all!
If I going to battle with a mouse, part of my focus will be distracted on protecting the mouse from the other lions in the fight. Similarly, if I am a mouse and another lion takes me into battle him or her, the individual is putting themselves in harm's way because not only will I be unable to protect their back where they are most weak, but the sound of me being killed by other lions will unravel them to the point that they will die in battle. Thus, if a lion cannot be found, the warrior is best off fighting by his or herself. This is not the ideal. More can be done with two lions. But they both have to be lions.
To mark the learning of these lessons in my own mind, I've cut my flesh and marked my skin. The cuts and markings are bold, even as I, their bearer, am bold.
Enclosed are two JPEG images of these markings.
Take it easy,
Don |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from sapience
Tuesday, February 20, 2007 - 07:04
 (Agree/Disagree?)
When I looked at the above picture of your solitary sillouette outlined on the horizon I saw clear articulation of a man who follows the tenets of bushido and the warrior way of a true samurai.
The rest of the photos are just further testament to your martial perspective and warrior qualities.
Im sure that learning how to access your 'warrior within' helps you to overcome the many challenges and battles life sets against you.
This lion-like perspective also cultivates the empathy and fortitude that inspires you towards humbly serving others who need your help...giving you a real "heart of the warrior".
|  From quite interesting this bushido thing....
Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 12:39
(Agree/Disagree?)
In an excerpt of James Williams' article "Virtue of the sword", a fairly simple explanation of modern bushido can be found
The warrior protects and defends because he realizes the value of others. He knows that they are essential to society and, in his gift of service, recognizes and values theirs... take the extra moment in dark parking lots at night to make sure that a woman gets into her car safely before leaving yourself. Daily involvement in acts such as these are as much a part of training as time spent in the dojo, and indeed should be the reason for that time spent training... When faced with a woman or child in a situation in which they are vulnerable, there are two types of men: those who would offer succor and aid, and those who would prey upon them. And in modern society, there is another loathsome breed who would totally ignore their plight!
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| | From tuneman7
Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 09:56
 (Agree/Disagree?)
I am a student of the tenents of Bushido.
I am a student.
One day I will be "Sensei," that day has not yet come.
I bow to your insight and knowledge of philosophy and the martial arts. May we never have to use our knowledge of physical voilence against a nother human being.
Respect,
Don Irwin
Student of Bushido
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| | | | | | | | from Tester
Monday, February 19, 2007 - 15:52
| from steam
Monday, February 19, 2007 - 15:41
(Agree/Disagree?)
are all the other user names on this "private thread" just "eyes wide shut"? If so why not just post under your name?
| | | | | | | from tuneman7
Monday, February 19, 2007 - 11:48
 (Agree/Disagree?)
Thanks for getting the article back up.
Stay relaxed,
Don Irwin
| from AnnaH
Monday, February 19, 2007 - 11:45
(Agree/Disagree?)
What is with all the padlock images? And where are half of the comments on this article?
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From tuneman7
Monday, February 19, 2007, 13:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
I think my smack down on the vile theif element was getting a little too real for the general public, not to mention the vile theif element itself. Hence the need for caution, to protect the guilty I suppose.
Whatever, I just wanted to talk about my tats.
We'll see what happens by this coming Wednesday evening.
Take care,
Don Irwin
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| | | | | | | | | | | from Disappointed
Sunday, February 18, 2007 - 19:02
(Agree/Disagree?)
Family leadership is probably loving all this fighting/nonsense
| From tuneman7
Sunday, February 18, 2007, 21:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
I stopped caring about Family leadership when I left the cult.
Interesting that you still care about their opinion. I don't care about Family leadership's opinion. All I care is that they know I'm serious about brining them down, which they do.
If you really want to please family leadership, re-join the cult. I'm not in the business of trying to please or displease them. I'm trying to be true to myself and please myself. |
| | from flutterfly
Saturday, February 17, 2007 - 22:13
 Private Thread for: flutterfly tuneman7
| from tuneman7
Saturday, February 17, 2007 - 12:54
Private Thread for: tuneman7 Nancy Oddie
| from A friend
Saturday, February 17, 2007 - 10:34
Private Thread for: moon beam tuneman7
| from anovagrrl
Saturday, February 17, 2007 - 07:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
Tuneman, I don't understand all the context in your life that prompted you to bare your soul as you did in this post, but in reading through the various responses to it and your ongoing conversation about the psychosocial issues that you and other abuse survivors confront, I am able to identify a consistent theme.
You seem to be talking about the dynamics of victim and victimizer. Something I think I hear you saying is this post and subsequent repsonses is this: Ultimately, there is little or no difference between the one who wounds and the one who is wounded. That's a very high-level and/or deep understanding the issues, because at the practical level of personal survival there is a HUGE difference between perpetrators and their victims. When I confronted this dilemma as an abuse survivor, I concluded that if I had to err on one side or another of the abuser/abusee paradigm that unconsciously shapes & patterns my behavior, I prefer to be victim over victimizer.
This is not to say I've never been a victimizer or that I'm incapable of inflicting great harm on other people. There's a good reason I've never learned to use firearms, and it's not because I don't have active fantasies about what I might do with a gun. It's that in the overall pattern of existence, I choose to set myself up to be scapegoated and victimized much more consistently than some of the alternative roles I learned growing up. But even if my chosen role is more agreeable to my ego than presenting myself on stage as a rage-filled, manipulative, destructive & callous asshole, it really does suck to habitually play out the victim role in my relationships with others.
Now I'm back to not knowing or understanding all the context in your life that prompted what I read as a personal statement of self understanding offered up for public discussion and debate. It seems to me you've cut really deep into yourself on this one. I wonder what it is you hoped to accomplish by opening up your psychic reality in this way to the inevitable brickbats, hoots, and rotten tomatoes? It's entirely possible I'm projecting my own stuff onto the issues raised by your post. But that's really all any of us can do--interpret reality through the distorted lens of our self projections. Hopefully, our projections get a little less tiresome, confusing & destructive with time and insight.
For me, maturity and healing reduced a compulsive need to keep playing the abuser/abusee game with significant others in my life. You probably are reaching a turning point where you're ready to cut some ties and move on to working through a different and newer set of interpersonal problems. That's all therapy really does, imo, is provide us with a broader range of choices for defining our problems and dealing with them. When we grow and heal, we simply exchange one set of old, worn-out problems for a newer, more challenging set of issues.
Thanks for the thought-provoking post & subsequent discussion, btw. Non est ad astra mollis e terris via.
| | | | From anovagrrl
Sunday, February 18, 2007, 18:09
(Agree/Disagree?)
"Truth is not subjective"---? WTF does that have to do with anything I said? OK, it's obvious you're not interested in a conversation with someone who's not part of your psychodrama. Store this in the back of your head for when you step out of this movie you're producing: There are people in the world who care about you, respect you, and wish you well. |
| | from Oddman
Saturday, February 17, 2007 - 03:27
(Agree/Disagree?)
Ho-hum, yet another episode of the Movingon Springer show.
Since I'm feeling so zen too, I won't comment about whether tuneman needs therapy or not. I won't comment on his mental state, attempt to figure out his sexuality, or count how many times he's repeated then contradicted himself. I won't even comment on whether his family crest looks like a fruit exporters seal, or whether his Lion duo tatt hints of homoerotic appetites. Look, I couldn't care less.
If he thinks he needs therapy, that's up to him.
Tuneman7 is right, the company of some ex-SGs can be detrimental to a "healing process". I'm against putting them all in a box, but that's up to him isn't it? Sometimes boxing is neccessary. I know some SG's who have totally cut off all contact with old friends, until they got on their feet. I don't know if it's the best way, but that's a personal decision only he can make.
It is fact that the abused are prone to develop abusive tendencies. That doesn't mean all abused WILL become abusers. If someone wants to label me a danger based on experiences I've had, (over which I had no control or influence) and stay away from me, then fuck them anyway. I'd think less of them, and that would be it. What does interest me is whether Tuneman wishes to label other exers a threat to him, or does he wish to seclude himself from society in general, because he realises he could be a threat to others?
If we took a count, how many people consider themselves as potentially dangerous or abusive beings? Oh, and just because someone cracks a few jokes at your expense, or points out your every flaw, boo fucking hoo, that doesn't make them abusive. If it did, Yankees stadium would have been named abusive persons central.
| | | | from neez
Saturday, February 17, 2007 - 00:53
(Agree/Disagree?)
Are your rantings here supposed to encourage people to seek therapy? All I can see is a poster boy for therapy gone seriously wrong.
And repeating yourself over and over again is, at best, just fucking annoying. Somehow I don't think that's what Churchill had in mind.
I hope you didn't pay any money for the lion tatts.
| from steam
Friday, February 16, 2007 - 12:04
Private Thread for: steam tuneman7 EyesWideShut
| from anonymously concerned
Friday, February 16, 2007 - 09:15
Private Thread for: tuneman7 EyesWideShut truly Falcon
| from an apostate
Friday, February 16, 2007 - 06:37
(Agree/Disagree?)
Dude, I’m just so happy that you don’t think 32 is too young to enter manhood! I mean, if you had waited another 5-10 years, think how much ‘manhood’ you would have missed out on by not getting a tattoo or second piercing. Plus, the symbolism in your tattoos screams ‘manhood’ to all who see them. Bad ink work, gay hairnet wearing black and white/yellow lions, a bizarre family crest that appears to be the logo of a pineapple exporter, and a Latin phrase about passing wind…dude, mad props!
| | | | from mr. lion
Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 15:12
(Agree/Disagree?)
Lol! ...from a pineapple, to a fruit salad, to a beehive... to mr. lion jerking off!!! It looks to me like someone is fucking jacking off!
| from Shaka
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 - 12:45
(Agree/Disagree?)
Now I have the munchies.
| | | | from Falcon
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 - 12:02
(Agree/Disagree?)
It looks as if someone was smoking up a bit too much, hence the subconscious similarity to a cannibas leaf in the clenched fist. Most Rastas I know are not easily shaken by anything either.
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | from manhood
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 - 08:47
(Agree/Disagree?)
So what enlightenment guides you in your epic task and against what criteria do you classify people into your anthropo-lion/mouse/rat categories? If, say, Im a lion, can we join up and fight some battles?
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From Tester
Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 10:47
(Agree/Disagree?)
I noticed that the hair on the top lion is blowing in the wind, but the hair on the lower lion is not. Is that because there is more wind up on top where the top lion is? Or does the lower one just have a hairnet.
Also, are these the same two lions from the new Taco Bell commercials? Cuz those are some cool lions...
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| | | | | | | | | | | | | | From manhood
Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 10:44
(Agree/Disagree?)
Did you develop your 'family crest' yourself or did your family previously have it? I suppose the tattoo symbols of the chest of drawers and brick wall also have several very symbolic very private meanings? If so I should not choose to make it my concern... |
| | | | | From manhood
Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 11:00
(Agree/Disagree?)
Well I suppose (and following the philosophical guidance to interpretation given so far) it can mean anything you want it to (just like the lions). However if you read Tunemans own description you would not be led to these conclusions. The part you think is a pineaple is VERY obviously a fist holding some holly. (Correct me if im wrong tuneman) the brick wall is at the very bottom in a single (very meaningful) line. |
| | From AnnaH
Sunday, February 18, 2007, 12:03
(Agree/Disagree?)
"VERY obviously?" It's not that obvious if everyone else who looked at it thought it was a pineapple, including myself. Maybe you should upload a higher resolution picture.
I may be wrong, but your blatant self-defense leads me to believe that you are Tuneman7 which makes you quite the hypocrite since you've been throwing around pathetic insults like "nameless, shameless cowards."
However, that would mean you've been having a conversation with yourself which is just weird, but I wouldn't put it past you. |
| | | | | | | | From Falcon
Sunday, February 18, 2007, 13:37
(Agree/Disagree?)
Um first off, you guys have to understand that manhood carries within himself the epitomy of sarcasm. If he appears to be "understanding" of T-man, it is only to get a rise out of him and have him reveal more wierdness. I know this, because Manhood is my brother, and a part of his essence is getting into people's minds. Do not for a minute mistake my brothers comments to be sincere. He is merely playing with T-man as a boy teases a snake with a stick. |
| | | | | From tuneman7
Sunday, February 18, 2007, 15:32
(Agree/Disagree?)
More likely the second issue, that of gullibility.
A few rules of confrontation:
1. Know who is an emeny, who is a friend, who is on the fence.
2. Calculate the danger/strength of any/all involved.
3. Do "worst-case" fear analysis.
4. Gather primary, secondary and ancilliary decsion-making data.
5. Make a decision based on sufficient data and sufficient analysis of that data.
6. Execute against the decision.
7. Evaluate the result of your decision.
8. Discover weaknesses in the decision making process.
9. Discover weakenesses in the execution methodology.
10. Correct errors / protect against weaknesses.
11. Repeat the process with higher goals.
12. Make friends, drive cars, have laughs and stay relaxed.
Take care,
Don
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| | | | | | | | | | | | | | From murasaki
Thursday, February 15, 2007, 07:01
(Agree/Disagree?)
Yeah, on first glance I thought it was a pineapple on tope of a beehive.....reminded me of a logo for a local variety of pineapple wine that I sampled once upon a time. And those lions......I hesitate to bring it up, since they are tats and all, but they bear an eerie resemblance to Mo-lion. |
| | | | | from Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 - 06:38
(Agree/Disagree?)
Dude..... Put down the pipe!
| | | | From tuneman7
Monday, February 19, 2007, 15:27
(Agree/Disagree?)
I know man, unfortunately the crest came from Ireland and I'm suck with it.
If I was tasked with making it, believe me, I'd be going straight to Kingston Town to hang out with the surviving members of the Wailers, and get their input on how to get a decent cannabis plant on that crest.
Rock on!
Don Irwin
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