Clearing The Air

from Eva St John - Monday, January 09, 2006
accessed 1361 times

Recently I was sent a copy of an email that was originally sent to a reporter by an anonymous (ex SGA?) ‘informant’ explaining to the reporter what has really been going down inside TF here in Australia of late. It was powerful and extremely well researched, except for one or two instances where the informant appears to ‘fall back’ on his/her Family ‘programming’ and makes blanket statements about TF’s past that are actually erroneous, and which come directly from TF’s own whitewashed PR statements, misinformation which the defector / informant obviously still believes to be true and is still unwittingly ‘propagating’ as such.


Along these same lines, a few questions have been put to me and doubts have been voiced of late, in regards to statements I have made about TF and/or my own and my children’s past experiences, which reflect the same still-partially-misinformed state of mind some sincere ex SGA’s and ex FGA’s appear to be in due to years of ‘indoctrination’ and ‘prop

From Lisa to Eva:


“(In one article)…you state : ‘Even though I was convinced we had 'the truth', I was almost always in trouble with the leaders for questioning TF policies and practices -especially in regards to the treatment of the children - and was labeled and scape-goated as a 'trouble maker' because of it.’


However I have heard from a ex-family SGA that your son used to try and ‘make love’ to her (I understand that he is in no way at fault having been taught this from a young age) and when she complained and you where asked to stop him, you replied, ‘well fine if she doesn’t want to do it we’ll find some other sexy young girl to’.”


From Eva to Lisa:


I have soul searched regarding this ex SGA’s apparent memory of something I allegedly said whilst in TF, and I honestly have no recollection of such an incident happening, nor can ‘the real me’ imagine ever saying such a thing to a child.


However, that’s ‘the real me’. While in TF, as you know, most of the time we were not operating out of our own authentic consciences, but were constantly inculcated and entrained into thinking and acting and talking in accord with the Mo Letters and ‘how Grandpa and Mama’ would expect us to ‘respond’ to situations.


So whilst the ‘real me’ is horrified at the thought of such a possibility, I’m also aware that I was ‘not myself’ the whole time I was in TF. As you know, we were all under a huge amount of pressure to fashion ourselves in the image of our ‘prophet and prophetess’, and speak and act like they did – or else. Consequently, I now regard the majority of what I said and did while in TF to have been utterly stupid and idiotic, so I don’t want to discount this ex SGA’s claim outright. Under the circumstances of the time, it’s not impossible that I might have responded with some sort of brainless ‘Mo Letter’-type answer of the type she infers.


Remembering the highly pro-‘Davidito book’-type environment we were in for awhile in the early 80’s when naïve, brainwashed young women were going as far as offering themselves to young boys like my son ‘in obedience to the Letters’; and naïve, brainwashed young mothers like myself were idiotically believing they had to allow it ‘in obedience to the Letters’; and where the children were being allowed or even encouraged to sexually ‘experiment’ with each other; I find the claim “…she complained and you were asked to stop him…” interesting.


I think I would remember if a young girl had complained about an alleged sexual advance from my young son toward her and I had been ‘asked to stop him’.

The continuous bombardment of Berg-&-co’s treatises and ‘testimonies’ on the subject had created an extremely ‘pro-free-sex’ environment, and those who did not want to ‘co-operate’ were publicly vilified in the Mo Letters in the cruelest way, so I was in such a state of inner confusion and ‘inward splitness’ about the whole thing (while ‘obediently’ going along with it outwardly), I would have thought such an incident would stick in my memory (as other incidences of my children’s involvement with sex have). But as I said, like most FGA’s I was regurgitating a lot of the idiotic, looney stuff Berg and co were dictating at the time, so I’m not willing to discount her ‘account’ altogether.


The reason I’m even going so far as to question the purported recollections of the ex SGA you mentioned is that, given the fact that many SGA’s like yourself (especially in Australia) have been inculcated with Family leadership’s grossly fabricated ‘anti-Eva St John’ propaganda since they were young children (due to my involvement as a ‘whistleblower’ and witness for the prosecution, etc), I would not be surprised if some SGA’s childhood memories of me may now be ‘colored’ or even subconsciously modified in accord with what TF leadership insisted the SGA’s think about me.


I say this in the light of the fact that several ex SGA’s who – (as children or teenagers in TF when the court cases were happening here in Australia) - formerly publicly denied any knowledge of child abuse happening, are now coming out as young adults and saying they lied (as they were trained to do), and that it was happening, but that at the time they were kept in a fog of brainwashed denial about it ‘to protect the Lord’s work’ (ie: the perpetrators).


However, because of the state of enforced denial they were kept in, they ‘believed’ what they were saying at the time. They also ‘believed’ what they were being told about me and other ex member whistle blowers (as ‘enemies of the Lord’) and were having their perceptions and memories of me ‘modified’ to suit this new picture TF leadership were painting of me. And until all those ‘programmed denials’ and ‘false memories’ are directly questioned and challenged, they will remained lodged in the mind of an SGA/ex SGA (or ex FGA even) as if they were ‘fact’.


To give an example of this: The whole thing that triggered my involvement with exposing TF’s abuse of it’s children after I left was when I saw on TV that the authorities had raided TF’s Homes and taken the children into care. (I had known nothing of, and had had nothing to do with the investigations or raids, and only found out about it via the media reports after it happened).


I had no intention of getting involved until I saw a certain young teenage Family girl I knew well from her childhood appearing on a television interview with a leader, stating that she had never ever seen or known of any sexual abuse happening to any children in TF. And yet I knew personally that this young girl had been quite emotionally attached to my young son of the same age at one time, and they had had an ongoing ‘sharing’ relationship while we were in the same Home. (I have a never-to-be-forgotten memory of her, for example, standing outside a bedroom door wringing her hands and in tears because my son was in there ‘sharing’ with an ‘auntie’ and she felt left out. – Meanwhile I was nervously pacing around trying to cover up my confusion and discomfort with the usual programmed ‘Praise the Lord’ bullshit response).


At the time we were in Indonesia where there was the usual ‘wife swapping’ and fellowship orgies and ‘children’s romance nights’ and all kinds of things going on that she and all the kids were being exposed to. (When I returned from the ‘mission field’, I can say that a lot of these things were also happening, in a more subdued and secretive way, here in Australia as well).


So when in 1992 I saw on TV that TF kids were literally being brainwashed and entrained to publicly lie and deny stuff that they had witnessed or that had even happened to them personally, I began to realize the full extent of the evil of TF and to really fear for the future sanity and well-being of these young people. So that’s when I decided to speak up and expose what had really been going down for these kids.


I’ve brought up this particular ‘Family teenage spokesperson’ because I’m using her as an example of how TF’s life-long entrainment and programming can still affect ex SGA’s even years after they’ve left ‘the fold’. Even though my children and I know personally that she was witness to, and involved in, the ‘free sex’ practices of TF as a child, she recently expressed anger towards me for being interviewed by 60 Minutes due to the accidental and unintended repercussions it had on her, because this old footage of her ‘denying everything’ as a teenager was re-aired in the report (which was 60 Minute’s doing, not mine as a mere ‘interviewee’). And – unbelievably – all these years later as an ex SGA she was still denying that there had been any sexual abuse of children in TF – even when we know she was exposed to it herself personally!


This is clear proof of the long term insidious effects of TF’s all-encompassing ‘conditioning’, indoctrination and ‘culture of denial’ on it’s members and ex members.


From Lisa to Eva:


“I have also heard that you were right into all of the Family’s sexual doctrines, promoting and practicing them. By your own admission you allowed your son to have sex with an adult. I realize the pressure and indoctrination you where under, but its hard for me to accept you as a valiant spokesperson who only wants the truth and is ‘compelled to stand up and speak out publicly again on behalf of former child victims of TF in the presence of some government officials, duped 'experts' and the top Australian Family leaders’ when you where an active participant.”


From Eva to Lisa:


I guess I’m what would be termed a ‘whistle blower’. A whistle blower is usually a person who has been a member of, or has been working for, some form of organization which they initially joined in good faith. They usually get duped and sucked into operating in alignment with the tenets and methods of that organization until such a time as they begin to realize something doesn’t feel right and/or begin to see that some things seem to be wrong about the way things are being done. They often start asking sticky questions or trying to introduce change, only to be met with a barrage of indignant denial, threats, punishment, reprisals, etc, for daring to ‘rock the boat’.


Often a whistle blower doesn’t arrive at this point until after they themselves have naively believed in and ‘played the game’ for some time and have also been involved in the corrupt activities, and/or have seen and experienced (or suffered) first hand the ‘fruits’ of the organizational corruption and misconduct.


Now when the organization is a high demand religious cult like TF that constantly bombards its members with the concept that this ‘not feeling right’ is all their fault because they’re ‘listening to the Devil’ or just being ‘selfish’ or ‘prideful’ or ‘weak’, the average member (whose sense of self worth and self belief is by now virtually non-existant) usually takes this on board and believes their superiors’ assertions that it must be they themselves that are ‘at fault’.

Accordingly, they usually respond to this ‘feed back’ by re-doubling their efforts to be a ‘good soldier’, ‘stop doubting and murmuring’ and try to be more enthusiastic than ever to prove they are ‘worthy’ of love and acceptance by their peers and elders. As an SGA I’m sure you yourself have experienced this in TF.


Consequently, sometimes a seemingly ‘sold out, enthusiastic’ member can actually be the one experiencing extreme inner confusion and unhappiness, because they are working doubly hard to deny and hide their real inner feelings for fear of the utter devastation that confronting the actual truth would reek in their lives.


Anyone who knew me well in TF, especially in the latter years, would have said I was a ‘driven’ personality. I was feverishly still trying my darndest to believe in what I had invested and committed my entire life to, in spite of the utter private misery I was feeling on the inside. I can honestly say I was very, very split. Like a well-programmed automaton, I would sing and smile and witness and preach what the Mo Letters said and ‘play the game’ during the day, and then I’d be secretly crying myself to sleep every night, wondering why I felt so confused and miserable and alone. (I’m sure a lot of ex SGA’s can relate to this, too).


This imposed ‘schizophrenic state’ can continue for years until such a time that the ‘split’ the cult member is experiencing within themselves becomes untenable and some form of crisis point brings things to a head and they leave. Then there is usually a period of lostness and confusion (especially if the individual has no access to information that would help them understand their dilemma), until such time as they are able to make sense of their experience in the group and come to terms with it.

Then – for those who are willing to face the truth and come out of their life-long ‘brainwashed denial’ - there is the long and painful journey out of one’s former deluded state by confronting the painful truth of one’s complicity in what has turned out to be a ‘deceptive, abusive, criminal organization’ instead of a ‘beautiful safe haven in which to live out one’s highest spiritual ideals’.


From Anonymous ex member informant to the media:


“…incidences of sex with a minor did not take place in Australia and other western countries such as the USA and England."


From Eva (via email) to Anonymous ex member informant:


Sorry to say, this is completely incorrect! There are a lot of testimonies by ex SGA's on the Moving On site who were sexually molested by adults in England, the US and here in Australia. I also know of several personally myself. Also, both my son and daughter were sexually molested by adults here in Australia, and I'm not talking about the VD / baby incident. My son had sex with at least one adult woman in Sydney - (maybe two, I'd have too ask him about it again) - that I know of in 1984-5 when he was about 7-8, and at about age 5-6 my daughter was molested by an FGA known as Maori John - who (I’ve heard) molested just about every little girl in the Homes he was in here in Australia. The Australian leaders knew all about it. It was right around the time I was on 'punishment' for questioning, and he just got 'prayed with' about it and nothing else was done.



There are other Australian ex SGA's my children have been in contact with in the past, as well as some Natalie knows of, who were also molested by either their own fathers and/or older brothers, or other FGA's like Maori John. Hell, there are even at least a couple of ex FGA fathers whom I've heard about in the past who have been prosecuted and jailed (once they left TF) for molesting their children, a practice they began while in TF because of the teachings of Berg.


The problem was/is much more wide-spread than TF here would have you believe. I know this may be hard for you to accept, but I'm telling the truth. Why do you think I've come out so strongly against TF's doctrines and practices here in Oz? Because they're just as guilty as TF was/is anywhere else in the world. Sexual abuse is a very insidious thing. It usually always happens in private and the victims will seldom ever talk about it, even to their peers, especially when they're being brainwashed to 'forget' about it and deny everything. So it went on a lot more than you realize.



I think the difficulty here is that the Australian SGA's just got so heavily and repeatedly indoctrinated with the 'no sexual abuse has ever happened to Family kids in Australia' line by the leaders, - (they had to really inculcate that into your psyches because it was so important to them that you believed it and denied everything due to the court cases and media investigations) - that you guys are still struggling to see the reality beyond that lie.



From Anonymous ex member informant to the media:



"While I would in all honesty agree that the 60 Minutes program was tainted in content..."



From Eva (via email) to Anonymous ex member informant:



I was definitely not happy with the way they presented the story either. There was far too much sensationalism and far too little in depth content that really explained the whole thing properly. We all were interviewed for at least an hour to an hour-and-a-half, and we all harped on the plight of the SGA's in the past, and yet they only took the most sensational few lines from each of our interviews and 'blew them up'. I feel the NZ 60 Minutes program was far more explanatory (although still sensationalist to a certain degree).



However, that being said, I cannot say that the Australian 60 Minutes program was actually tainted in content. Whilst I would say that it was tainted by a sensationalist-type slant, what was actually said was true. The only reason I did not identify my son and daughter as being my own children on the program is because they had both requested anonymity and were in disguise. So I could not identify myself as being 'the mother' of the 'woman' who had contracted VD as a baby, as that would give away my daughter's identity. (They both have 'high profile'-type jobs, and it would have caused them a lot of strife to be identified).



As far as I can remember of the 60 Minutes report (I don't have time to watch it again right now), there is no actual false or untrue content in it. The content is factual, just presented in an overtly sensational manner. However, if you feel I am wrong about this, I would welcome your help in pointing out what part of the content of the report is not correct or is 'tainted'.



From Anonymous ex member informant to the media:



“While the Department of Community Services gave ‘the Family’ a clean bill of health in 1992 following the raids on ‘Family’ compounds….”



…and this quote in a purported ‘media release’ by an ‘anti-Moving On’ and ‘anti-ESJ’ antagonist:


“However when the total resources of both (Australian) State governments failed to prove one single case of abuse, the courts threw the case out as vexatiously motivated.”

Eva’s Clarification:

(As I was not involved in these cases at the very end while they were being settled out of Court, and am going on information passed on to me by Family Services personel, if I have any of these facts wrong, and an honest ‘unbrainwashed’ ex SGA or ex FGA who was involved can shed additional light on the actual details, I welcome their input).

My answer:

The case was most certainly not ‘thrown out’. As in many Family Court cases, there was a court settlement made whereby TFI had to agree to have themselves and their children closely monitored by department social workers for at least the next year or two, and they had to abide by some strict rules and guidelines laid down by the court. There was absolutely no so-called ‘exoneration’ or ‘failure to prove’ or ‘charges dropped’, as TFI claims in their PR literature and media releases about the cases.

If TFI was innocent, as they claim, then why did they agree to the dire imposition of being monitored and supervised and having to implement the court orders of the government welfare authorities, instead of allowing the court process to speedily ‘prove their innocence’? TFI’s willingness to stop the case from going ahead by making a contractual agreement with the welfare authorities to come under their ongoing scrutiny in reality proved their guilt.

Another important point is that the Australian welfare authorities did not get the chance to give any of the children a medical examination for signs of sexual abuse before TFI’s criminal attorneys managed to pull legal strings to have the children returned to the cult. The authorities had over 70 witnesses who were submitting sworn affidavits and were willing to come forward and testify against TFI, but again, through the devious antics of TFI’s criminal lawyers, the legal process was underhandedly prolonged and drawn out in order to keep any of the witnesses from taking the stand.

This was due to the fact that TFI and its legal team knew that the moment the witnesses took the stand and began ‘telling all’, it would spell certain death to their defense. Thus, due to the probability of the case dragging out for several years and costing millions of dollars, the decision was made to settle the case out of court - which is what happens in the majority of Family Court cases.

Since the time of the Australian raids and court cases, quite a number of the children that were involved in the raids have since left TFI cult as young adults, and have testified that they were, in fact, molested and abused as children, but had been intensively indoctrinated and programmed to deny everything to outsiders, especially to child welfare authorities – who in the cult’s children’s books, are depicted as malevolent wolves in sheep’s clothing not to be trusted.

Apologies for the length of this article. Just thought it would be helpul to bring clarity to these issues which have repeatedly been brought up of late.


Cheers,
Eva St John