Moving On - Children of the Children of God

I don't know about many of you, but I was born and pretty much raised in TF for most of my life up until a few years ago. My marriage to a man I met in TF lasted for about 9 years. He was pretty much the first real love of my life.

Being raised in TF I was always taught to be very open and honest about my feeligs. I have always been a very affectionate and passionate woman. Whether its because I was raised in TF or just grew up around hot blooded, passionate latins I don't know. But I've never liked the idea of playing with peoples's feelings. Perhaps its because I've had my heart broken before and my feelings trampled on by insensitive, selfish and immature men and I personally would never do that to a man. I don't play "hard to get" (or at least I don't know how) but I'm not a "easy" either, if you know what I mean.

After my divorce I was in a two year relationship with a man who I met at my previous job. It has ended but we still remain good friends.

I have just recently started dating. To be quite honest, it is a whole new world for me. When I go out with guys, they are intrigued with me because they say that I am "different". They have never meet anyone quite like me. I guess they mean it in a good way. However, many guys are used to women playing games with them and teasing them. When they meet a mature, sincere and deep person, they are not quite sure how to react. Men and women alike have grown up knowing how to "play the game". Or at least they are familiar with it. There are many do's a don'ts to dating and relationships. I have found it many times to be quite confusing to say the least.

I know this is not a dating site, but I wonder how many folks out there are looking to date someone with the same background and who share some of the same experiences as I have. I have visited a few dating sites online but I have not found anyone I can really relate to. I would really like to meet a nice guy with whom I have a lot in common with and share the same views as I do. If you're interested in writing me, feel free to drop me line. My e-mail is on my profile, I'd be happy to send you some pictures.

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from surfgirl
Friday, August 05, 2005 - 06:09
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I would like to talk with you sometime if you don't mind. I have been in a similiar situation to you, married for 10 yrs to someone i met in TF. Now that the relationship has broken down I am finding it hard to pick up the pieces of my life. Since we knew each other so well and knew where we had both come from, i now feel very alone in the world and am not sure where to begin. I have some very good friends that keep my head above water, but in other areas of my life, I feel a bit like I'm drowning! Anyway, it would be nice to chat sometime if you want too. You can e-mail me through my profile.

surfgirl
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from xhrisl
Tuesday, November 30, 2004 - 02:15
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Dear Xena,
Your post highlighted on several interesting facets regarding dating and romance here on the outside, which I can assure you, are experienced by many others in our predicament.
Namely, those involving self-disclosure and honesty, how does one for instance try and explain to another, a wholly different perspective?
In conversing with several other ex-SGA’s I have found that they too express many of the same concerns and desires. Chief among these being the desire to find an individual with whom they can share their life, their hopes and their dreams with, and who preferably are able to understand where they are coming from. Not all of these facets are often found in any one individual---particularly the ability to empathize with our unique backgrounds. Resultantly, I have met some exers who express a desire to find someone within our own community who share, among other things an understanding, or continuity of sorts, a person with whom a common phrase relates to a shared experience. As a dear friend of mine once expressed when conversing on the subject “I want someone who I can sit back with when I’m old and gray and say---remember when, without having to explain what a Jumbo was, or what TTC stands for.”
That being said, it is also important to realize that in life, all the future “remember whens” are resultant of building memories together in the present. Having dated both former SGA’s and outsiders I can relate to the desire to be with a person with whom a shared history exists, even if it is a history of oppression. Such relationships provide a continuity, which many other outside relationships seem to lack. There are however draw backs to such relationships, as I am sure you are well aware---chief among them being that both parties may carry the same emotional baggage. In summation, I wish it where simple---but I guess its not. I guess what I’m trying to express, is simply this---you are not alone.

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From Frank
Thursday, December 02, 2004, 07:28
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"I want someone who I can sit back with when I’m old and gray and say---remember when, without having to explain what a Jumbo was, or what TTC stands for."

It doesn't have to be till I'm old and gray haired....... day to day living with someone that understand where you're coming from would be heaven....... if I may call it that!(reply to this comment)