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Getting On : Family
Help me understand.......... | from flowerlove - Friday, June 13, 2008
accessed 1447 times Hello... My boyfriend and have been together for a few years now, we have a baby girl together, since we been together he would talk about when he was growing up but he would stop as if he could say no more. He did say that he grow up in a church called the family, I did not think to much of it or even the name for I never heard of it before, but when he did talk a little about it, I did see the hurt and pain in him, I know to some of you this is going to sound as if I made this up, so here it goes the other day I was watching tv and saw this Ricky R story, the things he was saying it was as if he was fishing what my boyfriend telling me but could not, so that nite I went to bed thinking, so the next day I asked my boyfriend, about the family I had told him what I saw on tv, as I was talking he would tell me things that he know, sure enough he grow up in the family, he has told me things but he's yet to come out and finish what he is saying, when he talk's about it he gets mad, you can just see the pain the hurt and most of all the hate, I love him so much ... I can see the hate he has and that dose scar me,there are things I would like to ask but I know that he is not ready..... Is there any thing I can do to help beside to hear him out when he is ready, I don't want him to be eating by the hurt the pain and hate.. I know that hate is not a good word but when he talks about the family you can see it, He doese tell me that not all was bad but he wont tell me what... He tells me I won't understand and he's right no one understands how any one feels I just want to be there for him. So anyone willing to talk thanks |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from become ONE
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 06:50
(Agree/Disagree?)
http://desteni.co.za/index.htm
(reply to this comment)
| | | |  From thatata
Saturday, June 21, 2008, 14:05
(Agree/Disagree?)
"Drugs are good/ they make you do things you know you not should..."
- NOFX[ not the greatest band in the world]
Still, Terrence Mckenna said something good, though perhaps ungrammatically:
"MEDIA:NEVER EVER CONSUME IT.ALWAYS CREATE IT.IT`S IMPORTANT TO PUSH OUT. NOT TAKE IN. ITS A MATTER OF SURVIVAL. THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD: ARTISTS AND MARKS."
- Terrence Mckenna(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | from sar
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 04:43
(Agree/Disagree?)
Don't try to understand. You never will. Just accept him for what he is, without an explanation as to why he is that way.
Just my two cents, I don't know him, so I can't actually say what's best for him or you.
(reply to this comment)
| from shikaka
Tuesday, June 17, 2008 - 12:46
 (Agree/Disagree?)
Ive decided to post something positive for a change, for those in need of encouragement.
We are awesome. Individually, we rock. But together, our combined ability to rock so far surpasses other people's abilities to rock that people are unable to look upon us, because our rockage actually causes blindness and siezures, so intense is the power of our awesomeness.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from Fish
Monday, June 16, 2008 - 10:54
(Agree/Disagree?)
Instead of "helping you understand", would you settle for someone "helping you not be a fucking moron?" "Last nite" are you fucking kidding?
I bet your one of those people who actually reads the revolting pseudo "news" on MSN or Yahoo. WTF! Last NIGHT I was checking my email and I forgot to look away after signing out and holy shit did I regret it. The site is so absurdly smarmily nauseating that I find it hard to believe it could possibly be unintentional. Seriously, I dare any of you to go to MSN.com rite now an read the totaaly kewl, dreamy, Xtreme BS posted there. Anyone who doesn’t immediately vomit on their keyboard deservers a healthy suicide bombing. Fuck!
Anyway, so much to say, PTL!
im a douche who cant capitalize or use punctuations……………………nite…………………
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | | | | From DeeJay
Tuesday, June 17, 2008, 21:36
(Agree/Disagree?)
Fish, come on now. Either it was or it wasn't. If someone offers you the benefit of the doubt, there's no need to further defend your already transparent error with follow up display of ignorance or attempt at wit. The only thing more annoying than ignorance is cocky ignorance that doesn't know or admit to ignorance.
I find it surprisingly inconsistent that your original comment bashed the author for an incorrect use of english, after which you then proceed to flaunt your own disregard for it. So others should get bashed for incorrect use, but not you, because...?....help me to finish the sentence here.
This is also the second time I've noticed that oddly your comments seem to pop up when there is sympathy being shown for someone else. Last time it was Randi.
Your comments are insensitive and seem to always be out of the blue and off topic. Randi talked about her parents, you proceeded to go on about the falling dollar and how it was affecting you. I felt for you, but other than the fact that it was on your mind, it really had nothing to do with the topic. If it was important enough, you could have started your own article. Now this article. I feel the need to ask, "What does watching MSNBC and the mass popcorn media have to do with her problem? If you do have a serious disdain for the kind that do watch it, again, write an article.
I know I am reaching here, but I get the impression that you have a distinct aversion to sympathy that possibly stems from your own hidden desires to receive it. It's possible that it remains unattainable to you because of the facade of strength, imperviousness and insensitivity that you've chosen to keep up. You wouldn't dare ask for it because it would then expose you as feeling, weak and vulnerable. Following this rhetorical logic, seeing others receiving the sympathy that you envy but cannot have, triggers an emotional outburst which are let out in the form of the attacking, totally irrelevant and useless comments you have been posting. Sort of the way many violent gay bashers' actions stem from the fact that they themselves harbor gay tendencies. An obvious overreaction. The viciousness of your comments often come across, at least to me, as quite the overreaction.
Again this is all rhetoric as I don't actually know you, but just from what I've seen from you so far, I'd say it's a possibility. Feel free to prove me wrong.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | From DeeJay
Thursday, June 19, 2008, 21:11
(Agree/Disagree?)
Hmm. A compliment. I actually let it go to my head for a second, before coming to my senses. Regretably, I am neither. I have at times held a few lofty dellusions regarding myself, most of which have been quickly and unceremoniously crushed by people putting their glasses back on and then screaming and running in the opposition direction. Sometimes I also try to be articulate and courteous to make up for the fact that I really know less than most others.
Thanks for the chuckle though.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From sar
Monday, June 16, 2008, 12:37
(Agree/Disagree?)
Are you trying to make a particular point by addressing your comment to god?
I can understand why some people who have worked particularly hard to overcome educational disadvantages would be annoyed by a display of laziness by others who were not so disadvantaged or even those that were similarly disadvanted but have not bothered to improve their communication skills. Poor grammar and spelling often makes one think that the user is less than intelligent, unless English is their second language in which case it more understandable. You yourself felt free to patronise the author of the article ("The poor girl"). Is there any chance that it was her poor grammar that made you feel free to do so?(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From sar
Tuesday, June 17, 2008, 05:47
(Agree/Disagree?)
I've reread my comment, but I still don't see how you came to that understanding of what I was saying. I wasn't making any comment as to how one could best move on from abuse, in or outside of the cult. I was simply saying that I understand why some people are annoyed by bad communication skills.
However, since you mention it, I do think good communication skills could have a part to play in two ways. Firstly, concentrating your mind on something other than abuse might help one to take ones mind off of abuse. There's conflicting theories as to whether talking about abuse would actually help and I think its different for different people. I'm no psychologist, but I can imagine that for some people it would help to trivialise abuse stories so that their own memories hurt less, so that they become numb to it. Secondly, being able to demonstrate a good command of the English language makes it that much easier to find a good job or get into a good university. Many of us were deprived of an education and that is something that, unless we do something to reverse, will continue to hamper our lives and careers. While, good spelling and grammar might not go very far (or even any of the way) to erase memories of abuse, it will help one to get a start in a career or in school.
As for all the children who are being abuse, one would probably be in a better position to help those children if one has a good communication skills. If one can't write or speak properly, one will have a harder time getting a country to change its laws so that they better protect children, or fight for individual cases in a court of law, or have widely published articles that will sway public opinion so that the public pressure the government to protect children better, or become a psychiatrist, psychologist or doctor that can actually treat those that are abused, etc.(reply to this comment) |
| | From Tinaph80
Wednesday, June 18, 2008, 04:03
(Agree/Disagree?)
As lovely and eloquent as your above post was, your argument was still pretty much bull-shit. You should never stifle someone who is reaching out to you for help concerning abuse. You seem like a relatively smart person, so I think you understood perfectly well what the girl was trying to convey to us. She wasn’t looking for spelling advice, but she was looking for advice and support from us when dealing with her boyfriend. Although there were many great responses, others, (like yours) were a bit petty and trivial. You spent more time worrying about how it was being written. I understood the girl just fine, as I’m sure you did, and I think we should be focusing on giving helpful advice that pertains to child abuse and how to deal with it, not on how much she sucks and grammar and spelling. Life is not so black and white. Here’s a side note, I have many friends who make more than 100,000 a year, and they have atrocious spelling and grammar. Okay, I won’t argue this stupid point anymore, or I’ll be contradicting myself. :)(reply to this comment) |
| | From sar
Wednesday, June 18, 2008, 04:36
(Agree/Disagree?)
I am beginning to suspect your reading and comprehension skills are lacking. I did not say that one should stifle anyone. I did not say that I did not understand the author of the article. I made little comment on how the article was written other than to point out your own patronising view of the article. I did not say that anyone sucked. I gave spelling advice to someone who had, in their own post, given spelling or grammar advice. I do not claim that life is black and white. I also do not claim that good spelling and grammar is the be all and end all of high earning, merely that it is a step in that direction. All I was saying in my initial comment to you was that I understood where Fish might have been coming from.
I accept that this discussion may be trivial and petty. I do not think that that is necessarily a bad thing. Its also possible that this discussion helped the author of the article to understand ex fam members, seeing that we are all different, some are hostile, some are petty, some are insensitive, some are sensitive, some are welcoming, some are cynical, some want sympathy, some don't, etc., We all have different ways of dealing with our pasts and with getting on with our lives. We are as different one individual to the next as any two people in two different countries would be. Our past does not always define us. To quote yourself, "[l]ife is not so black and white". (reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From DeeJay
Tuesday, June 17, 2008, 22:57
(Agree/Disagree?)
I understand where you're coming from, and I agree that it's annoying when your point is already abundantly clear, however I feel the need to maintain that grammar and spelling remain important. I do contend that there is often no reason to nitpick at a few irrelevant mistakes, but there are many instances that warrant correction.
The point of language is communication. Clear and concise communication often requires the proper use of the language used. The altering of grammar in a sentence or spelling in a word can often alter it's meaning. Interpretation can often be skewed enough without improper words and sentences to re-enforce it's misinterpretation.
I also believe it also goes to credibility. It's difficult to take someone's word for something if he/she spells, chooses or uses them incorrectly. It says something about their education, but almost more importantly, it also says something about their effort.
If that was bait and someone now wants to accuse me of low self esteem, well I guess they'd be correct.(reply to this comment) |
| | From Randi
Wednesday, June 18, 2008, 03:55
(Agree/Disagree?)
Yes grammar and spelling are important... clear and concise communication definitely lends to ones credibility. I generally take that into account in most situations...And I get where you're coming from. However, I really don't think that it's that pertinent or relevant here.
There are some here who sound slightly retarded and incapacitated and I must say that I tend to brush over or ignore articles etc that are written in a handicapped and or a ferocious literary style... but at the same time... some people have not had the chance or the resources to get an education since leaving the club...I must say that I feel extremely lucky to be able to study and afford it... but not everyone, esp. single moms in the US etc, have managed to do that.
I personally don't really consider anyone's credibility here or the lack of it.. If I want to show my credibility and "crafty intelligence"... I do it in Uni or at work... or in the bedroom. This is a place where I can rant a little, get some support and hopefully share some helpful experience or thoughts with someone who needs it...and hopefully have a laugh and a half..Do you know what I mean?
Even in Uni... we don't get graded or checked on grammar or spelling... it's not important. It only matters if your grammar is so bad that the professor can't understand what the F your saying.. then there will be a problem and you'll have some serious defending to do at the oral... but other wise, it's not that relevant even there... Not everyone speaks perfect English, some are lucky to speak several languages, even on this site... so you're not always gonna be 100% in all languages...While this site is hosted in English.. which is generally our collective mother tongue... some of us were raised speaking Spanish primarily or Swedish or whatever so we should think about that before getting all excited about spelling errors in for example peoples written horror stories. ;-)
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | from DeeJay
Sunday, June 15, 2008 - 21:50
(Agree/Disagree?)
Here is one person's opinion.
I completely agree with the comment below. Speaking from my personal experience, if he has issues with his past (and he obviously does) having a forum such as this one to vent, hear and discuss will definitely help to push him towards the threshold of either letting it out, or letting it go. Once he has come to terms with the idea that holding it in does him no good, he will slowly begin to make the moves to reach out to those around him, including you.
I also agree that this is a sensitive issue, and that pushing him will do more harm than good. Chances are he has feelings of anger and hate subtlely mixed in with a large inferiority complex. A fear that he is so different, the society he now faces will be unable or unwilling to accept him, or at the very least force a stigma on him. Don't treat him differently, let him know you are aware of the subject and hope that one day you will be able to help and be a part of his journey back. That will be enough. He will gradually make the moves on his own time and pace. If he feels he's being pushed, it will only invoke the same fear he has been hiding from for so long.
He needs to get his own mind around what has happened to him. Once he does, his confidence will grow slowly. His view of the world and himself will change and when he is finally confident enough to confide in you, listen, accept, do not patronize, but show enough sensitivity to assure him that this doesn't change your view of him. If he gets this reaction from you it may give him hope that he can open up to others without being ridiculed or ostricisized. For most, it is a slow process, but I can promise you that he will be eternally grateful to you.
Finally, I find it very touching that someone like you would care enough about one of us to go through all the trouble or researching and asking. I know that my life would have been a lot different if I had been in a relationship or friendship with someone who cared enough to even try to discuss or listen to what I went through. People who genuinely care and act upon it are too far and few between. I say give it a shot and wish you the best of luck. Being with an ex-family member will have some big difficulties. That much is guaranteed. But I also think that being with someone is going to be difficult no regardless of who they are or what they have been through.
Perhaps I feel that in telling you to give him a chance, I am also mirroring my own desire for others to give me one.
(reply to this comment)
| from vix
Sunday, June 15, 2008 - 11:50
(Agree/Disagree?)
To the author of this article: You might consider directing him to this site if he doesn't already know about it. He might be able to start sorting through his emotions and gradually feel better able to deal with them, if he would come here and vent and rage. It is hard for some people to open that box, and doing so on a neutral plane can be very helpful. It's not as vulnerable as confronting all that hurt and pain within one's own personal environment where there is so much more to lose.
Once he has released some of those feelings it might become easier for him to discuss them with you and hopefully let you in to that part of his life.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from Tinaph80
Sunday, June 15, 2008 - 05:52
(Agree/Disagree?)
I think it's great that you are so interested in helping your boyfriend. I have found it hard to meet people like you who have not been in the cult, and have a vested interest in learning about TF out of concern for their loved one. I think it has been quite the opposite for me, with exception of my husband, but even he just gets pissed off when I or anyone talks about TF. He just wants to put them all in jail or beat them up in an alley way.
My suggestion to you would be, don't force him to talk about TF. Don't push the issue. Let him talk about it whenever HE is ready. If you see a real issue with depression then talk to him about that. Ask him to see a professional and explain the benefits of antidepressant because he may need them.
Having an ex-memeber for a boyfriend is not a walk in the park (as I see you already know). He has a lot of hang ups and issues that you will not understand. Just have a lot of patience with him. Do research on The Family like you have been. It really could be beneficial because it might prepare you for any futher issues you may have.
(reply to this comment)
| From Randi
Sunday, June 15, 2008, 10:45
(Agree/Disagree?)
Oh yes and I totally aggree with that. I was glad that my boyfriend.. gave me time to unfold myself in my good time. I would have hated to be pushed to tell everything. You see... even telling the story can bring an extreme amount of pain to the fore.. It really feels like you're undressing and showing ugly wounds and scars... and you feel vulnerable and insecure as you're not sure what the person will say.. how they will react. Shame is the word that comes to mind... well at least it did... I'm feeling more proud today.
Most of us have survived by staying tough, by ignoring feelings and emotions...a lot of us are probably afraid that if we let that guard down, that guard that we have so faithfully and carefully worn since children... that we will fall apart and that everyone will see. Telling your story again and again is literally a pain in ass. Its like you have to let people in and tell them why and what.... but I don't know that it's important to tell every single thing...unless it's something that you need to say for your own sake... But crap in better left where it belongs... in the toilet... flushed away.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | from madly
Saturday, June 14, 2008 - 23:54
 (Agree/Disagree?)
You seem sweet, and please don't be offended, but reading your article made me realize that not being able to properly punctuate cannot always necessarily be blamed on growing up in a cult. I guess we all have our challenges, no matter how we were raised.
Good luck with your boyfriend. You can try to be there for him, but if he is half as screwed up as I am, I say dump his ass!! You will spend your life trying to love someone who is too fucked up to ever fully return the favor enough to let you in. Either except him to be a little weird and somewhat distant, or leave him to what he already feels he will forever be: alone.
He may want to let you in, he may desperately yearn for you to love him and for you to understand his past, but if he is like me, he might never know how. I wish you all the best.
.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | From madly
Sunday, June 15, 2008, 11:38
(Agree/Disagree?)
I own the book thanks... they almost made another cult out of that book and theory. Everyone is always in such a hurry to believe in something that tells them they can easily get everything they want. If life was really that simple it would almost be like living in a fairytale. I go there too from time to time, but always end up back here.
I am not miserable. I just don't have faith in love. I am not depressed, just tired of the perfect roses being tossed around when love is a lot more like the thorns and I think being honest about it is probably a more realistic approach. Being positive is great, but not always very real.
Honestly, everyone, I wasn’t trying to be mean… It was late and I was drinking, but I didn’t tell her to leave her bf, I said: “if he is as screwed up as I am” leave him. I am going through a lot with mine at present and I am sure that is affecting my outlook.
Believe me, loving me is no picnic. Just ask my bf. I was actually being nice and trying to save her some heartache. I guess to some it may come across as mean, but to me sparing the ones we care for from the torture of dealing with us is the nicer thing to do. See it as you will… still how I see it.(reply to this comment) |
| | From Randi
Monday, June 16, 2008, 03:07
(Agree/Disagree?)
I get your point about The Secret thing. It is a money scheme too. But the idea is that if you keep thinking negatively that is what you will attract into your life. If you keep expecting life to suck, it probably will... yet if you think and focus on the positive things... You'll do and react positive and therefore life should be better. Course somethings are out of our control... I don't think they acknowledge that enough.. But the core Idea I think is good. Focus on the good things, focus on what you want and where you want to be and work hard to get there. I think it's very empowering though I aggree that it oversimplifies a bit and perhaps they should discuss other laws that come into play... that would make it more realistic.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From cheeks
Sunday, June 15, 2008, 08:39
(Agree/Disagree?)
I have to say Mad this one kinda pissed me off. I myself am with an ex-er and we have been together going on 13 years. It's not easy and we piss each other off everyday. But when push comes to shove we love each other and there isn't really anything we wouldn't do for each other. Bottom line is we are really not alone. We all have been in this, we have all survived this, and while we may struggle individually with our own demons there are tons of people on this site who understand where you are coming from and empathize with you.No relationship is easy, we sleep in separate rooms, it is about finding what works for you. (reply to this comment) |
| | From ange
Sunday, June 15, 2008, 02:41
(Agree/Disagree?)
I guess your challenge is learning how to spell expect :-).
In terms of the ‘dump his ass’ comment, I’m sorry, but I can’t agree with you there. When a relationship ends it should be because the two individuals in it decide that it doesn’t work rather than because they got egged on (or had the idea put in their head) by somebody who isn’t involved and doesn’t know the details of their relationship. He obviously wanted to be with her and there are no rules to say that a relationship between an ex and a non- ex can’t work in the long term, plus they have a kid together! It winds me up when I think people are giving advice based on the bitterness they have from their own life.
Flowerlove: I think it’s wonderful that you want to understand and be there for your partner. It’s always going to be difficult at times if he doesn’t want to talk or feels angry but it sounds like you are very committed to him.I really hope that things work out for you.
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| | From Randi
Sunday, June 15, 2008, 02:38
(Agree/Disagree?)
Hmm no offence Madly, but that is screwed. Love is way more powerful and wonderful than that. This is woman who loves someone, you can't just tell her to dump his ass...
Time is a factor here.. Complete love takes time. I'd say that he's probably ashamed. Of course he shouldn't be...but he is probably ashamed and worried that if you discover all of who he feels he is, that you will run away and desert him... and view him as "broken" and perhaps affirm his own feeling of self worthlessness. If you give him time and show him that you admire and respect him not just in spite of, but even because of his difficult past, this might be a love that will last a life time. Give him time and support and tell him that you want to know and that it won't change your love for him. See most of us have been deserted and hurt by those who claimed to love us.. that is where the anger stems from.
Having said that... If through much time etc... He still holds back from you... of course you can't love someone who won't let you love them... of course you can't poor wather into a bucket with a hole in it. It's important to know that you can't save him... only he can do that. Only he can make himself happy and let go of the pain, hurt and fear. Don't blame yourself, and don't hold yourself responsible for a burden that is NOT yours to bare.
Love and time and a positive belief that life can get better and that wounds will heal is a powerful force...
Madly... don't give up on yourself like that...Life is beautiful and you are beautiful and you have the strength and power to make it so. Are you depressed?(reply to this comment) |
| | From flowerlove
Monday, June 16, 2008, 01:11
(Agree/Disagree?)
THANK YOU, In reading your comment tonight you remind me that its not my burden to bare, today was fathers day, my boyfriend in levaing TF he left a son behide, He was haveing such a bad time haveing not seen his son in five + years, I was felling so bad to the point of thinking, if I did the right thing by having our little gril, Once agin THANK YOU for your words, (reply to this comment) |
| | From vix
Monday, June 16, 2008, 01:53
(Agree/Disagree?)
I'm sorry to hear that, flowerlove. It must have been absolutely heart-wrenching for him to leave his son behind. Perhaps you can take comfort in the fact that your daughter (and you) most likely provide a powerful healing balm. I imagine he appreciates your love and hers more than you could know. In answer to your original question, how can you better understand, the only suggestion I can make is that you continue reading here (especially the articles in the 'Dealing' section, as they offer much insight) and perhaps spend some time in the chat room. No one's experience will be exactly like his, of course, but there are usually many parallels. At least it will give you a general idea until he is ready to talk about it.
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From Randi
Sunday, June 15, 2008, 10:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
Its not about telling all... its about truly being yourself and letting someone in. Not feeling scared to show who you are. In my opinion our history is hard to hide from those we love... because a lot of the struggles we face, the feelings of being alone, not being "OK" or normal etc... tend to come from our history... therefore, it is hard to let people fully support you and understand your perspectives when you don't tell them where you come from. Holding back, can mean different things to different people.... its all about what is important to you.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | From Randi
Sunday, June 15, 2008, 11:09
(Agree/Disagree?)
Yes but you can't keep having pain and anger in your eyes (as she put it) when a certain topic comes up, without at some point having some open communication and transparency...the relationship will eventually suffer and the your significant other with begin to feel outside. Why go through pain and anguish alone... when there's a person in your life who wants to love you and be there for you... why not let them in? Course if you don't feel sad about anything and its a none issue well thats something else..it seems different in this case.
The fact is that just because we're used to MAKING IT alone...it doesn't mean we can thrive and live fully that way.(reply to this comment) |
| | From vix
Sunday, June 15, 2008, 10:52
(Agree/Disagree?)
BTW I'm pretty sure we have a mutual friend - Ellie.. And I think I know your ex partner too, if he used to live in DK. I wonder, actually (and this is a real stab in the dark), if your parents are the ones who my mum stayed with in Greece when she had first joined or just prior to that, they went on to live in India, I believe, and i think I heard that they had gone on to WS at some point. At the time she knew them they only had one daughter, I think, who was maybe a couple of years younger than me, which I'm guessing might've been you. But this is pure guesswork. Would be kinda cool if it was you, though, as you were my very first friend in TF and I wondered about you from time to time throughout my childhood.
(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | From vix
Monday, June 16, 2008, 11:25
(Agree/Disagree?)
It was just a bit of guesswork. Ellie visited me a few years ago and while we were catching up had mentioned to me that your ex and his wife had moved in near to where she lived. She said something about his wife's (who was half danish, I think) parents being in WS. TBH I didn't make the connection that my childhood friend might be you until yesterday while I was writing my comment in reply to yours. I thought I'd try to find out. About your ex, I lived with him first when we were kids, he was six or something at the time, and again later on when we were teenagers. Would be funny if he turned out to be someone else than who I'm thinking of. But if he is who I think he is, his name begins with M.
Sorry I've not emailed, I'm terrible with correspondence and usually just clutter up this board.
(reply to this comment) |
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