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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from Christy
Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 21:55
(Agree/Disagree?)
When I first left TF I considered the option of becoming an aid/relief worker. I think the main reason for this was that I felt guilty about not doing something meaningful with my life. I also bought into the whole concept that I was "called" to be a missionary. It wasn't that I thought everyone who joined or was born into TF had a calling to serve the Lord. To the contrary, I believed most were wasting their time and other people's money by living on the mission field and doing little or nothing to help others (hardly even witnessing, much less doing volunteer work). I enjoyed some aspects of being a missionary and felt that I was good at it. One thing I was sure about, however, was that first I wanted to take some time to get my own life in order. I felt like I owed it to myself to get the formal education I had missed due to growing up in TF. I realize not that if I ever were to get back into volunteer/aid work, I would do it much differently. I also am so much better equiped to help people, especially children, as I've taken the time to learn the concepts and information I would be teaching others as well as effective teaching methods.
Eaglebleeds, I think it's great that you want to lead an altruistic life helping others. However, I have to agree with some of the concerns that other's on this site have expressed. If you're going to do this, why not go all the way? Why not get the training and education that will help you be as effective as possible? Why not work with an already established and respected organization such as the Peace Corp, UNICEF, Save the Children, the Red Cross, or even a religious organization? With your background, you have a lot to contribute. On the other hand, you also have a lot you can learn from others' experience in missionary and volunteer work.
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| from Eaglebleeds
Monday, June 23, 2003 - 21:57
(Agree/Disagree?)
I understand what they're saying about trying a different lifestyle. I should've also written that I did finish Highschool and have tried different lifestyles. When I was 15 all I wanted was to live for myself and make a ton of $$$$$$'s. I was 2 years ahead in my schooling so I finished Highschool when I was 16. I started working at 15 and lived a life that I wanted. Not exactly what I wanted but what I was able to get with what I had. What I always wanted as a kid was to play sports professionally. I did play for an amateur soccer team for a year but didnt get paid. I got a good job with good pay but I was never happy cause I was living for myself. I now know who the real God is and thats what I want to give to others and help those in need. I don't go fundraising and sell tools. Thats not my idea of a missionary, thats plain survival. When I quit working I had saved enough to last me for 2 years of volunteer and missionary work. I've worked with FM and CM at different times but that doesnt mean I agree with them. When it comes to business you cant be so particular about who you work with. And the reason I never went to college or wanted too is because my dream is to be a fireman, later in life, and I dont need more education for that. I didnt choose to be a missionary because my parents taught me that or because in TF its the highest calling. I dont believe that at all. Read a book by Bruce Wilkerson called "A Life God Rewards". Actually all members of TF need to read that book. I want to help others and I enjoy helping others. When I finally knew who the real God and Jesus was and understood the Bible I felt compelled to be a volunteer. I say missionary sometimes but I prefer volunteer. I believe every Christian's destiny is different. You can be on a mission field helping no one and just being there for pride or you can be a teacher and impart Jesus to your students. Everyone's calling is different.
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|  From neezy
Tuesday, June 24, 2003, 21:59
(Agree/Disagree?)
23 & your a frickin missionary.. c'mon..
You've obviously never got over the fact that you were robbed of the chance to be a fireman, or a soccer player. & now you feel you have to tell us that you have found your new runners-up life-calling.. a missionary.
But I can guess the real reason your having second thoughts. & you're absoultuely right. Fireman & soccer players get approx. %500 more sex than your average missionary.. (true story)
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| | | | | | | | From wildirishrose
Tuesday, June 24, 2003, 10:05
(Agree/Disagree?)
I just wanted to say...don't listen to the voices that want to discourage you. I believe it is very admirable what you are doing, where you are going in your life, and that you have peace and a purpose. (And a long-term plan!) On the contrary to "not happy and not fulfilled" --you sound like you have really found a place for your heart, which is more than many of us can say. And 22 is in no way too young to know what you want and where you are going. Standing ovation to you, my friend. (reply to this comment) |
| | From Mir
Tuesday, June 24, 2003, 07:11
(Agree/Disagree?)
You are still so young! Only 22 years old! Why don't you follow your dream to be a fireman? You can still be an active Christian in whatever working enviroment you chose.
Please don't think that I am trying to discourage you from doing what you feel is your calling. The reason I'm saying this is because I feel from the tone of your posts that you are not happy and that you are not fulfilled. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that it is actually possible to be a missionary and not to be doing God's best plan. (And BTW everybody, God's best plan for a person is a place of happiness, joy and fulfillment, NOT huge trials tribulations and some bastard telling what to do 24/7) Personally I think that wanting to be a fireman is a good, noble AND self-sacrificing career to be in.(reply to this comment) |
| | From Vicky
Tuesday, June 24, 2003, 11:24
(Agree/Disagree?)
I agree with you, Mir! - Mainly because the world is full of people who are planning to follow their dream..."Someday".
Eaglebleeds, if you are passionate about being a fireman then I definitely think you should seize the day and go for it now - Make your dream happen today or it may stay a dream forever.
I think that one of life's great tragedies is that so many people spend their whole life fantasising about what would be nice to do one day, instead of letting their passion drive them on to actually getting it done. It's a huge waste of the gift of life, in my opinion.
That said, I completely understand the attraction of living for others - It is something that the idealistic "me" is completely hung up on. There are days when I can feel in the depths of me that nothing could come close to the fulfilment I would get from moving out to Africa and giving myself and my life to making a better life for children there.
I've come to the conclusion that I want to do other things first - I have SO many things I want to do for me, and hopefully when I've fulfilled those ambitions I will be able to give much more back.
Finally I want to say, if you are certain that what you are doing now is right for you, then don't listen to anyone else - You are the only one who can truly know yourself and what you need. If you don't have any little niggling doubts about whether you should be doing something else then this is probably the best path for you to take at this time in your life. Just make sure you really are listening to yourself. (reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from venus_fly_trap
Monday, June 23, 2003 - 21:23
(Agree/Disagree?)
i think it is wonderful that someone would choose to continue to be a missionary. we don't know if this person has or has not gotten their education already. it's quite possible that they did.
i left the family because we were lying to the world about our missionary work. i tried to get a tax number that would allow us to receive donations and truly be the missionaries we said we were. after repeated attempts to actually make a real mission and being shot down by family leadership because they had not recieved a letter from the top saying it was ok, i left. i was tired of trying to get spiritually dead, "in the box" thinkers to do more.
i think a lot about all those poor people i met in my worldwide travels especially about the children. my idea of missionary work today has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with a desire to be a humanitarian.
i am a mother now and my child is my responsibility. but if i didn't have my own child, i would be doing more for children that don't have as much. that is where our parents really got it wrong. do what you want until you have children and then live for them. and on that note i feel the very same way about unused talents. i should be getting paid for my creative abilities too.
good luck to you in your missionary work. we should all be proud that one of us is able to really be a missionary something we all claimed to be as children and something a child can never be. (read poisonwood bible)
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| From withheld
Monday, June 23, 2003, 22:22
(Agree/Disagree?)
I loved The Poisonwood Bible too, VFT, though it was intense! I just read another book set in Africa, this one a memoir by Alexandra Fuller titled "Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight." The author manages to portray a childhood having aspects that were "not OK," with a remarkably non-judgmental tone. Sometimes --just my personal feeling-- maybe this tone or lack of tone went to the extreme, as in the case of the casual racism she was surrounded by. In a discussion of the book, for example, I heard some educated people draw wild conclusions based on her restrained style (kinda paradoxical...).
I was reminded of this memoir by your statement "my idea of missionary work today has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with a desire to be a humanitarian." Growing up in Africa as a child of farmers/colonialists, Alexandra Fuller draws a distinction between "missionaries" and "aid workers."
I got a kick out of the scene where 2 missionaries come a-knockin' with the good news and hold hands to pray with them. The missionaries' demographic was not a replica of what I grew up with, but there were certainly some humorous triggerings of not-so-humorous recollections. The ol' DTD, where reality was stranger than fiction sometimes.
I have to say this, and I mean no offense to those who are missionaries due to a wish to pursue a noble calling and help others, but there is so much beauty in various cultures and other religions have aspects that make just as much sense (!) as Christianity, and prescribe, albeit via different methods, no less attempt to do right by others. Unless somebody comes to you looking for your religion, why canvass for converts? Some professionals are regulated as to how they can solicit clients. The strictures of what is permissible taste are changing even there, but I find the idea of maintaining a certain modesty/privacy about certain subjects in life appealing. Lawyers are looked down upon if they're "ambulance chasers," for example.
I certainly can see somebody finding greater happiness in a religion other than what they happened to be raised in. The way I see it is not because they would have "seen the light" of the ONE way, but rather that they may have found something that works better for them (maybe even just at a point in their life) or that makes more sense/harmonizes with them personally.
On altruistic days, I sometimes think I would be OK being an "aid worker." I even do a bit of that kind of thing now in areas I'm trained in, just not full time. But I think that I would try at least to be asking to absorb aspects from those around me that are different and could enrich me a bit more than trying to propagate more of me. I already know me. Hey, now that I say it that way, "spreading the Gospel" sounds a bit like a male concept/attitude.(reply to this comment) |
| | from frmrjoyish
Monday, June 23, 2003 - 18:04
(Agree/Disagree?)
With all due respect, are you sure that what you are doing is really by choice? Or are you just continuing the same sort lifestyle you were raised in, only in a different (probably slightly better) lifestyle? I agree with Mir's comment that you should persue a few different avenues for yourself right now. If you decide that missionary work is really your calling, well, at least you'll have seen what else is out there and available. In order for you to make an educated decision and truly choose this path for your life, don't you think there should be more than one choice of paths to choose from?
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| from Mir
Monday, June 23, 2003 - 16:42
(Agree/Disagree?)
Darling Eaglebleads,
Although you know that the god TF worships is not the real God and you have been able to separate the two in your mind and heart, please let me give you a little advice as someone who found Him after many years of hell.
Perhaps you ought to think about doing something different other than being a missionary for a few years, such as go to college, or seek another type of employment in order for you to take time out of being in a caring/giving role. (For the record, in mainstream Christianity, the role of a missionary is to GIVE of themselves and not to take like we were taught. "Fundraising" from the "flock" should under no cirscumstances appear in a missionary's job description!). You have been raised in a very very evil cult like all of us here, and I believe that you need time to stop doing what you were "taught" to do all your life and learn something different. Not only learn something different, but spend some time allowing yourself to be healed. After all, would you not agree that if you are hurting yourself, it's a little hard to help others?
If you would like to talk about it a little more, why don't you email me? Just go my profile.
-Mir
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| from snowhite
Monday, June 23, 2003 - 13:21
(Agree/Disagree?)
i totally agree with you there. its just so obvious that they wanted dumb kids who couldnt think for themselves or even survive outside the group. i love my parents but i doubt i'll ever forgive them for not giving me access to a decent education cuz now i'm the one paying for it. thank god i left and am now on the road to getting some brains in my head. hurray for education!!!
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