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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from susie
Wednesday, December 07, 2005 - 21:21
 (Agree/Disagree?)
anthony
any talk of suicide should cause alarm bells to go off. My father and brother both successfully committed suicide so I have some qualifications to comment on the subject. I have heard that statistically most people that repeatedly threaten suicide eventually carry out their threat.
Please take it seriously. Dont ever think that the person is just trying to get attention and that they'll never do it. They will.
(reply to this comment)
|  From tsarsrule
Wednesday, February 21, 2007, 02:35
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i`m glad that someone understands it`s not for attention because most people think it`s a cry for help, i keep trying to kill myself and i plan it but i don`t really want to do it but wish to die so it`s all over, i wish there was an easier way to die because i feel exhausted by planning suicide. Because i have the aspergers syndrome i found out that you can get obsessive thoughts and my therapist say planning suicide is mines and i wasted to years trying everyday but i managed 3 months without trying but my next plan would be next month or something, now i`m becoming obsessed with others small stuff that keeps me going.(reply to this comment) |
| | from John Jr.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005 - 11:23
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Hey buddy, call me. You've got my number.
(reply to this comment)
| from exister
Wednesday, December 07, 2005 - 08:27
(Agree/Disagree?)
The seriousness and veracity of suicidal ideations varies greatly and depends to a great degree on the person and the mental health issues they are experiencing at the time.
A very common "cry for help" scenario is presented by individuals suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. These individuals are frequently seen as suicidal in the eyes of lay people, but are usually far from it. They engage in blatantly self destructive behavior, often cutting their forearms or thigh, but not on the arteries. They may abuse drugs in a way that seems suicidal, but turns out not to be. Doubtless many of them do die as a result of their behaviors, yet they never were truly suicidal in the strictest sense. The motivation for their behavior is an urge to manipulate those who care about them. The disturbing thing about this urge to manipulate is that they are frequently not consciously aware of it themselves, and so cannot be reasoned with.
On the opposite end of the spectrum you have people who are severely depressed and really do intend to kill themselves. There are all kinds of interesting stats about suicide and I won't repeat them here for fear of sounding trite. Obviously there is a lot of frustration among law enforcement, medical professionals and the general public about people using suicidal ideations as a cry for help. In spite of all of this we are all both morally and legally obligated to act when someone expresses the desire to terminate their lives. This should always be the case for the simple reason that suicide is, as the cliche says, a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
On a strictly philosophical plane, I think that human self determination is a beautiful thing. If that determination dictates delf destruction, partial or total then it is no less beautiful for it. In my purely subjective opinion some of the most breathtaking art in the human experience flowed from minds and bodies that were destroyed as part of, or along with, the artistic process. I was not surprised to discover that one of the greatest song writers of the 20th century, Townes van Zandt was essentially drunk his entire life, and finally died of a heart attack after a doctor tried to dry him out.
On the flipside we have ass holes like Berg who contributed nothing of value to human culture and only used what demagogic skills he had to unleash his pathology and self destruction on thousands of other human beings.
In my humble opinion the most breathtaking highs and most wretched lows in the human experience are achieved when individuals eviscerate and destroy their minds and bodies in this game we call life. The rate and timing of that destruction is the sole decision of that body's owner.
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| from Bones
Tuesday, December 06, 2005 - 22:26
(Agree/Disagree?)
Generally if someone talks about suicide they are looking for someone to give them a reason not to act on the thought. This is not always the case, especially in people with issues such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder compounding depression. many times it's an attention seeking behavior. A person who intends to cary through with it usually gives it a great deal of thought and prepares for their life to end. I worked in an acute psych facility for many years. The serious ones did erie things, even months, prior to a serious attempt: completely cleaning their house top to bottom, giving away their favorite things to friends and family, paying off all their bills, but never mentioning suicide. It has been my experience that if you are talking about it it has not yet become your resolve.
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| From live_fast-die_young
Wednesday, December 07, 2005, 21:42
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Bones is right (from my experience with 'potential suicides'). Generally there is an efficiency to the DECIDED act, no stopping along the way, no little notes or confessions.
This is not to say that the person who tells others they intend to commit suicide doesn't fully believe it in their own mind. They will generally defend it if questioned or disbelieved. But in the end, it's safer not to question (at least not verbally) these kind of statements, lest the individual takes it as a dare & follow through.
As a YOUNG teenager I tottered on the edge a couple times and usually told people. In my own way I was telling people to be carfeful & keep a certain distance / respect for me as I was in a dangerous place mentally & emotionally, and being so young couldn't get that respect otherwise. It wasn't for attention (quite the opposite) & the occasion in which someone scoffed (at my "attention seeking antics") was the occasion I sincerely tried.
I would urge anyone who hears of someone who talks about suicide to take them completely seriously, regards of whether or not the person is resovled within. (reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | From Bones
Wednesday, December 07, 2005, 11:27
(Agree/Disagree?)
True. Its sad but some people make impulsive decisions because they dont see the way out, or havent learned to make friends with the pain. I love life, from the reckless highs when you feel invincible, to the gut wrenching lows that feel like the agony alone could kill you. I love feeling, good or bad. I learned not to run from the pain but to let it pour over me until it was gone. I know Im sick for that but it is how I cope and it has kept me alive. Its all a part of living. When you find your face in the dirt, at least you know you cant get any lower. Its a good time to take inventory and recreate yourself as you would like to be. (reply to this comment) |
| | from Anthony
Tuesday, December 06, 2005 - 20:28
(Agree/Disagree?)
''If an individual tells family..."
(reply to this comment)
| | | | From Eva St John
Wednesday, December 07, 2005, 18:29
(Agree/Disagree?)
Sometimes there is the desperate desire to just have a way to end the pain, not so much to end one's life. But sometimes the only option for 'ending the pain' that seems available when one is in a state of hopelessness, aloneness and despair, seems to be to end one's life. And making mention of that desire to friends or loved ones is both a cry for help (ie: 'can you help me find a way out of this seeming endless pain before I really go ahead with trying to bring an end to my life?') and a wanting to at least officially 'say goodbye' to loved ones ahead of time in case one really does go thru with it in the near future.
The most important thing is, if someone has approached you voicing this desire, please don't take it lightly, they may well need professional help and support. If you feel this way yourself, a lot of us have been there mate, including me. When one is in a dark place and can't see any light, it's hard to imagine there will ever be any light again. It feels so hopeless.
I always say to anyone who finds themselves in this space, don't try to 'deal with it' on your own. Find someone (or several 'someones') really supportive and positive who know how to help. When you're really down, it's sometimes not possibele to find your way out of it without the right kind of help. These are the times when we really need others. Even if it seems like there is no-one there for you, there are plenty of organaizations and volunteer counsellors out there one can at least turn to in the interim who can at least give some form of guidance and support. When you're really down is the time to get all the help you can. Turn to every possible source of help until the right sources show up who can help you get thru it. 'Cause one day you'll look back and say 'Phew! I got close! Thank God I was able to move beyond it.'(reply to this comment) |
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