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Getting Out : Inside Out
need a place | from natty - Sunday, July 15, 2007
accessed 1117 times hi im looking for a place to stay in montreal, im 15, stuck in the family really dont want to be here, need highschool/job recommendations for next year (in montreal)...i know no one will actually answer this cus im young and technically not aloud to leave. well, might as well give it a try...no creeps pls, give me an answer if you can. bye |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from SeanSwede
Saturday, July 21, 2007 - 01:22
(Agree/Disagree?)
Ill personally pay for a flight ticket so you can come over here and stay with me. How about living in Sweden. Here schooling is for free and even college. Ill set you up in school and or a jobb or what ever you like etc. Give me a holler if your interessed.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | from natty
Friday, July 20, 2007 - 20:25
 (Agree/Disagree?)
To reply to all of this I would like to say:
Woah...
Listen, just because I don't want to be here doesn't mean I'm going to do something pyscho like call the cops or purposely try to get myself excommunicated by doing drugs. (Which I technically can't, since I live in a single FM home)
Just what kind of person do you think I am? I want a way out, but if that's the way, then fuck this.
To Scorpion: Right on, well...all except the last part about me being a girl. Haha. Van, as in Vancounver? No, I can't drive (they changed the legal age to get a permit to 16 over here, I'm not sure if its like that in all of Canada though...) I'm a bit leery about you being a guy though...(no offence)
Jules: is your name Julia? I asked my parents if they knew who you were, and they seemed to remember a Julia from India, who would be around your age. I didn't really mention much else, but the connection might be a "plus".
Anyways...maybe this was a bad idea. Fading into oblivion seems to be the best option at the moment...
Cheers everyone.
Much love,
Little Miss Fisher
(reply to this comment)
|  From rainy
Friday, July 20, 2007, 22:20
(Agree/Disagree?)
IT probably isn't a bad idea to wait until you're 16, especially if you have no family to go to on the outside. If you're very brave, you could tell your mother that you feel you should have the right to choose not to partake in the religious aspects of family life any longer, but that you are still her child and she should love and protect and house you while you're young, while still affording you the right to choose your own lifestyle within reason and having an education. Probably won't work, but if I could go back in time, I'd try it.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from figaro
Friday, July 20, 2007 - 15:51
(Agree/Disagree?)
If you ask and they wont let you go, and everything else fails and it really comes down to it, just start picking the phone up randomly and calling the police out to the house. That will get their attention REAL quick. If the police tell you that you need to talk to a detective or a child welfare official of some sort about them not letting you go to school etc, then call and talk to them. Tell them your not happy with the way you aren't receiving a real education. If you need to, tell them that you want them to test you on all subjects according to what grade you should be in for your age, and if you fail that proves that your not receiving a proper education which you deserve and are entitled too. I don't know if you would fail, I don't know what your schooling is like in the home, but I'm assuming its not real good. And I'm sure they are still teaching that science doesn't prove/know anything, so I'm sure you know next to nothing in the subject of science.
Also, I don't know how your home is set up, but if you have one or more adults that sleep in the same room as you, tell them you feel uncomfortable with not having privacy to do everyday things (like change your cloths) in your room without having to be within view of an adult and you can even threaten to say that you feel unsafe or that the adult is watching you while you dress in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable and "dirty" as if they were getting some sort of sexual enjoyment from it (although if its your mom I don't think that would work). In the states it is still (arguably) considered sexual harassment just to look at someone in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. That would work very well if the adult is male. even if its your dad. Also, you can say that your uncomfortable with THEM doing things such as changing cloths in front of YOU, especially if the adult is male. In the U.S. it is illegal to expose too much of yourself to a minor regardless of if the minor is the same sex as you. Too much can mean just seeing the butt cheek, but anything that makes you uncomfortable counts. Just that right there could go a LONG way to proving that they aren't providing a proper environment for someone of your age.
Also, I don't know if it is the same way in Canada, but in the U.S. it is illegal for anyone to stop you from calling 911 or the police station, or if you call 911 and they don't allow you to go out and talk to the cops, that too, is illegal here (but like I said, I don't know if its the same in Canada). So if you just start calling the police out and talking to detectives they just might see that it would be better for them to just let you out then to risk getting too much negative attention drawn to themselves. If you threaten to call news stations and reporters and tell them that your being forced against your will to stay in this cult then that could cause them to lose some supporters. No business or person of business or politics is going to want to be associated with an abusive, fanatical cult who keeps kids against their will.
Anyway, best of luck to you. Hope it works out well, keep us informed. :)
(reply to this comment)
| from scorpion
Friday, July 20, 2007 - 14:22
(Agree/Disagree?)
shit...sorry didnt notice u were a girl... sorry about that.. that shit dosent apply to girls.. good luck tho
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| from scorpion
Friday, July 20, 2007 - 14:17
(Agree/Disagree?)
btw remember one thing. Its ur fukin life. dont let anyone tell u shit what to do. its ur life, not theirs if they dont understand u fuk them! theyll only slow u down
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| from scorpion
Friday, July 20, 2007 - 14:11
(Agree/Disagree?)
hey bro if u have a licence ( even Learners ) and if u willing to move to van, i can hook u up with a really good job, house food clothes all paid for, ull make 2~3 bills a day for starters. only email me bak if ur interested jonny_tran_6969@hotmail.com
(reply to this comment)
| from natty
Thursday, July 19, 2007 - 13:55
(Agree/Disagree?)
Thank you, Jules.
Firstly, I hate making myself sound immature, but it seems like everything that comes out of my mouth...is just that. So if my original plea seemed so, I apologize. I really do want out. And I admire you, for being a complete stranger, and wanting to take me in like that.
As I was saying before, I'm technically 'not aloud' to leave, so gaining legal permission from my parents probably would not happen.
I don't actually live in the city of Montreal, but I could probably get there, there are nice, safe buses that go there all the time. I live in the 'Laurentide' area, just about 2 hours from the actual city.
I could try to ask, and maybe arrange a meeting, but from what I've seen so far, the answers would probably be negative. It's perfectly understandable if you decide to re-consider, as it would be a huge risk...
Hum, I really don't know what to do...Someone help me out, please?
(reply to this comment)
| From GetReal
Thursday, July 19, 2007, 15:58
(Agree/Disagree?)
Hi there , read your post and can relate to what you are saying. First of if you want out simply tell your parents that you are no longer a member of the family. According to the rules of the charter they are unable to force you to remain a member and participate in home activities like “word time” “witnessing quotas” or other cult related activities.
Second point depends if you are in a FD home or not. If you are it will be easy to get out or force your parents to move out. The charter states that a underage non-member may reside in the home if they agree to abide by certain rules. Simply do not agree to follow them and/or continuously break them and they cannot keep you there. Here are some of them: listening to audible non family music in the home (recommended)……. continuously voice doubt about family leadership (highly recommended)……… shoplifting (whatever)……. engaging in or threatening violence…..( probably should not do that ) or using drugs on home property ( your personal choice) . If your parents don’t kick you out you should report those activities to Family leadership and as far as I am aware they cannot have you reside in the home.
Or as a last resort you can contact the authorities, inform them you are not comfortable living in a cult ( you may need name and explain the family) they will probably send welfare workers to check out what you are telling them. Hopefully it won’t get to that stage and your parents will see the wisdom in giving you the freedom you want and deserve.
Hope I’ve been some help to you, and please let me know if there is anything I can help you with. Peace
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| | | | | from Jules
Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 23:51
(Agree/Disagree?)
Natty, I am in Toronto, not too far from Montreal with a spare room. I would be willing to take you in. I promise I am not a creep and you could finish high school here. You can talk to other people I have lived with as references whose names I can email to you.
You would need permission from your parents though. I know a lot of family members think I am very evil, but I would be willing to go and meet them and I am not what people expect when they do meet me. If you really do want out then your parents should be open to that and I can give them my references as well.
If you are interested in coming to Toronto with me, I will go to Montreal, talk to your parents with you and we can work this out. I will be away from July 19-23, but after that, if you want, I'll be available. Email me at jules@movingon.org
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | From Tinaph80
Saturday, July 21, 2007, 18:59
(Agree/Disagree?)
I haven't had a chance to chat with you Julia, but I have been checking into this site for a few years now. It was weird when I realized who you were. I realized that you were my shepherd in Belgium when I was like 9 (my name was Krissy). I'm sure you don't remember me, but I remember you because I felt as though you took me under your wing, and even tried to protect me from some crazy shit that was happening to us children. There are only a few people I can remember that impacted my life the way you did, and I've never really had a chance to thank you, but I thank you now. You had a heart for us, and I appreciate that.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from madly
Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 20:52
(Agree/Disagree?)
Be careful, natty. Creeps are exactly who I would expect to respond to an article such as yours. Don’t trust anyone on the internet, ever! Try to find a friend or a distant relative or wait until you are old enough to legally fend for yourself. That is what I had to do. I would be very leery and sincerely question the motives of anyone who would invite a 15 year old girl to live with them. In my opinion, trying to find someone to help you over the internet is just not a very good idea.
No offense, natty, but it isn’t good enough to simply state: “no creeps please” because creeps don’t listen when they are told to go away. That is exactly why they are so creepy. Some of the weirdest perverted people look for victims, such as yourself, because you are desperate and willing to trust someone you normally wouldn’t. I hate to say it, but you are a milk carton advertisement waiting to be printed.
I hope you can find a way out and I am sure that if you want out badly enough that you will, but don’t put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation because you are in a hurry. You are young and you have your entire life ahead of you; try to keep it that way.
(reply to this comment)
| From figaro
Sunday, July 15, 2007, 23:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
If someone is willing to just sweep you away and take you off then they are most likely the exact kind of person you DON'T want helping you. Like you said, your under age and unable to take care of yourself, well that also makes you a liability to anyone who would take you in. They could easily be charged with kidnapping, and no one in their right mind would risk that. Especially if they offer to come up from the US and bring you back with them. Thats a BIG red warning flag that this persons help is not in your best interest. If they really want to help you they will try to help you help yourself without their direct involvment (telling you were a runaway safe house is, telling you where to find government aid, etc).
The best of luck to you, I wish I was able to help you, but I cant. I dont know much about Canada and dont live close enough to it to know anyone up there who could help you. Keep us updated on whats going on with you and if any of us can help you I'm sure we will do our best. If you find a way to go to like a relatives but need money I'm sure some of the people on here would pool some funds to help you. Just whatever you do, dont put yourself in legal or physical danger, and just keep us updated. Again, best of luck to you :)(reply to this comment) |
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