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Getting Out : Inside Out

From Family Leaders Regarding the Suicide of a Young Former Member

from Jules - Wednesday, January 19, 2005
accessed 1984 times

The linked document below is a personal letter sent by Karen “Maria” Zerby to the father of Ben Farnsworth after learning of his suicide.

In 1992, Ben Farnsworth, a teen boy raised in the Family, jumped from a building to his death in Hong Kong. Ben’s mother was not in the Family, and his father, Tom Farnsworth ( aka Enoch Cameron, Blake, Timmy), was a long time World Services staff member, working closely with Berg and Zerby. In order to devote himself to his work, Farnsworth gave permission for another Family couple to become foster parents of Ben. This couple eventually separated, and Ben ended up in a Family retraining center in Macau for kids who would not fit into the Family mould. He finally left the center and The Family and went to Hong Kong, where he allegedly got involved in some criminal activity. A few months later, he committed suicide.

Shortly after hearing of Ben’s death, Zerby sent the following message to Tom Farnsworth, who lived a few miles from her:

http://www.movingon.org/documents/Ben_Farnsworth.pdf - PDF (94K)

Some quotes from Karen Zerby’s message:

“…even in his death, Ben is going to have a very good effect on the Family. I think it's going to have wonderful repercussions with our Teens being very greatly strengthened by this.”

“I'm sorry Ben had to be a dandy bad example, but the Lord allowed it. And maybe one had to be lost that many others could be saved. And of course we don't mean "lost" in the sense of going to Hell. I think we should feel very happy for Ben that he is now where the Lord can directly control him, & he'll have to do what he is supposed to do now. And he can get the training that he refused to get here.”

“… we think this is going to have a tremendous powerful effect on our Teens worldwide. So even if Ben's life wasn't a very good example, maybe even his death wasn't either, the result of that is going to be tremendous. I'm sure that's probably one of the big reasons why the Lord allowed it--to help all of our other Teens worldwide be warned & be shaken & be in fear of ever going to the System & getting involved with its evil. I think you can really be relieved that now the Lord is really able to control him, & that he is in very good hands & well taken care of & you don't have to worry about him anymore.”

“… I suppose you could conclude that it would be better to sin by taking your life & going to be with the Lord than sin by working against the Lord & in such a horrible hellhole of the System.”

Reader's comments on this article

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from Mir
Friday, January 21, 2005 - 11:34

(Agree/Disagree?)
This woman is freaking NUTS!!!! It's just freaky to know that we were forced to follow a mad-woman...
(reply to this comment)
from
Thursday, January 20, 2005 - 17:17

(Agree/Disagree?)

YOU broke up Ben's family and took him to WS, Zerby!!
(reply to this comment)

from first
Thursday, January 20, 2005 - 16:27

(Agree/Disagree?)
he's our "hector", first of the gang to die... (morissey)
(reply to this comment)
From Nancy
Thursday, January 20, 2005, 18:56

(Agree/Disagree?)

poetic

I think Ricky thought of himself that way, too, in his own pain-filled mind.(reply to this comment

from Auty
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 - 22:07

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I remember Ben from the Victor Program in Japan . . . he was so angry with life and so depressed. When I left TF at the age of 19 I refused to sleep in my own room because flashes of Ben jumping would haunt me . . . I thought God would have his revenge on me and that I would jump off my patio to my death. I ended up crawling into bed with my mother for months before I felt comfortable sleeping in my own room. Zerby's confirmation of this having an affect on the Teens rings true, it had an affect on me even after I left TF, and for years I felt that if anything bad happened to me it was because I was out of God's will. I thought God was a God of love? If he is, I have never met him.

Looking back, I realize my experience in TF was controlled through fear . . . fear of being out of God's will, fear of a leader hitting or spanking me, fear of being on silence restriction, fear of "good nights" from adults . . . my life was lead by fear and controlled by the endless thoughts in my head that I would be punished if I stepped out of line. A tragic feeling to place on a child.
(reply to this comment)

From catuireal
Saturday, February 23, 2008, 07:10

(Agree/Disagree?)
Thanks for sharing these personnal details. Shows how mediaevil (church) administrative techniques can work just fine in the XXIst century. I only wonder where Family leadership is taking the group and its members with that. (reply to this comment
from thepersoniamnow
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 - 15:12

(Agree/Disagree?)
Unbelieveable. This stuff used to bore me to death i the morning...now it sends shudders through me.
(reply to this comment)
from Nancy
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 - 12:40

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Zerby: "But I'm pretty happy & relieved in a way that that is what happened..." "And I must say, I think I almost would have rather seen D___ do the same thing..."

Is she even human? No wonder she is silent at the tragic death of her son. She does not feel.

She refers to Ben as "that one child". He is like a commodity to her, just like Ricky said he and Techi, her own children, were to her. That same attitude, that children were commodities, is what was expressed in every one of the cult's doctrines and practices. No wonder they exploited so many children. Here is their thinking at its core, from the cult's top leader, children are commodities.
(reply to this comment)

From smashingrrl
Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 20:15

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
I read the papers about women who kill their young such as Susan Smith several years ago in South Carolina. While their actions chill and appall me I can at least find some understanding of the mental illness and desperation that brings them to commit these crimes. Likewise while I despise what Ricky did to Angela, I understand and can empathise with the pain he felt that brought him to such an act. Yet when I read what his mother has said since his death, I cannot fathom such callous disregard for the pain of her own son. It seems to me that her crime of indifference is so much worse that that of others. Crimes of passion I can understand. The complete lack of feeling; the lack of any semblance of remorse chills me to the bone. I cannot even begin to understand how anyone could feel so little as this woman does. I can think of no other way to reconcile her actions and writing that to truly believe she is a sociopath. I do not fear those who can feel even if the only feeling left is rage. It may be the most human of emotions. But those who cannot feel......(reply to this comment
from challenger
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 - 10:50

(Agree/Disagree?)

even in his death, Ben is going to have a very good effect on the Family. I think it's going to have wonderful repercussions with our Teens being very greatly strengthened by this. ( As we can tell them "if you go to the world you will jump off a building as well.)

the Lord allowed it

& he'll have to do what he is supposed to do now. And he can get the training that he refused to get here.( I cant believe they called it training) we think this is going to have a tremendous powerful effect on our Teens worldwide. to help all of our other Teens worldwide be warned & be shaken & be in fear of ever going to the System

I suppose you could conclude that it would be better to sin by taking your life & going to be with the Lord than sin by working against the Lord & in such a horrible hellhole of the System. (It is better for someone to die then to go out and grow a brain. Berg Cannot stand people who wanted to leave his version of paradise)
(reply to this comment)

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