Cannot live by toothpaste alone

from John David - Sunday, August 01, 2004
accessed 1854 times

A would-be runaway's story

Monterrey, Mexico circa 1990's: do you remember flee-bags? The bags to be used when one must flee? Well I do, especially when I remember Monterrey. As I recall, this is when my father built up the biggest stockpile of "flee-bag" items ever.

Now flee-bags are a great idea. A great idea, that is, until you tell someone about the concept who might exploit it. Like say a kid, a kid that's really getting a kick out of the idea of fleeing a shitty situation with a bag full of great survivalist gear.

Being force-fed squash and led like cattle to "witness" was enough to drive any kid to want to flee. So fleeing was the plan for a couple friends and I. I believe it was Pablo and Pedro of Michael and Rebecca. They would accompany me in this fleeing endeavor. After all, the park was just down the street and we could live there for the rest of our lives playing soccer.

Food was our main and well... only concern. But not to worry, the scientists at John, Pablo & Pedro inc. had been researching such a need. Its street name was toothpaste. The people at the toothpaste company really knew how to make a tasty paste, it seemed to us. I remember plenty of times in Monterrey when we'd spend time in the bathroom eating toothpaste. Being allowed to put something that sweet in our mouths was a strange phenomenon, and one we carefully explored to the fullest extent. How we're still alive today after consuming so much of the toxic chemicals found in toothpaste; I’m not sure.

Now the plan was to flee to the park, live on toothpaste and not be told what to do every hour of our childhood by anti-fun lunatics. A simple enough plan that somehow went wrong. Fully prepared, we headed to the gate where we had arranged for someone to open up and let us out. I wish I knew who that was today. It was someone who was in the know about the gate situation. There was a little one, as I recall, to the right of the house, as you look straight at it from the road.

The strange thing is, from this point on, I don't really remember what happened. I know we walked a little ways down the road. With a group of people watching and following for a bit. but that's where my memory ends. I can only imagine what kind of trouble we got in to.

Anyway, fleebag indeed.