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Getting Out : Inside Out
Pinocchio "pow-wow" | from John David - Saturday, January 31, 2004
accessed 2136 times Pinocchio "pow-wow"? Can't we just get beaten by fly-swatters again instead? Please?? The family had a limitless supply of genius ideas in the censorship department. One such gem came in the form of an edited spoon-fed Disney cartoon called 'Pinocchio pow-wow'.
By now I’m sure it's painfully clear what such a video entailed if you didn't already know: for the next hour an a half, children would sit and watch a dissected Disney film with several intermissions for discussion sessions with an adult surrounded by children.
The place: either Ciudad Juarez or Tijuana (don't remember, don't really care), Mexico; age: ~7.
Now, we all heard we would be watching a cartoon. Any cartoon-starved kid living in oppression is certainly going to be excited, but not me. I knew there had to be some kind of catch. I just knew that there was a very good reason why we were about to be allowed to see a "systemite's" animation. I knew that after dinner I was going to likely be bored out of my mind while engaged in this cartoon-watching activity. Now, I can't say there wasn't the slight bit of hope left in me. Somewhere down below in my brain was the notion that "hey, maybe they're just going to be cool and let us watch a cartoon, no strings attached. after all, we earned it". And I’ll tell you how long that notion lasted: about 5 minutes into 'Pinocchio pow-wow'.
That’s right, five minutes was as much Pinocchio we had watched before it was paused and a woman surrounded by children came on. To me that woman surrounded by children was Satan himself. Once again, Satan had thrown a monkey wrench into the works. Here we were, young cartoon-starved hopeful children, having our dreams of a peaceful evening of cartoon watching shattered; BY SATAN, I TELL YOU! So sister whatever is sitting there surrounded by children and starts to ramble on about good and evil.
I don't remember a goddamn word she said, but if I did I’m sure it would have went something like "Jiminy Cricket is good, donkey man is bad and don't give into the voice of the Devil by listening to donkey man". So we all sat there watching Disney’s Pinocchio, section by section. Each time the screen froze, indicating we were about to engage in more "pow-wow", I died a little more inside.
WHAT KIND OF MONSTERS ARE THESE PEOPLE? I JUST WANT TO WATCH THE MOTHER-FUCKING CARTOON! PLEASE GOD SAVE ME! RAPTURE! DEATH! HELL! IT DOESN'T MATTER! JUST PLEASE LET ME NOT SEE THIS CARTOON GET PAUSED AGAIN!
Now, later in my life I noticed something about 'Pinocchio pow-wow'. Post-"the family" I watched Pinocchio in its entirety and something wasn't right. And yes, you guessed it, at least 30 minutes of additional footage I had never seen. Especially the most amusing part of the movie: the donkey island adventure. The sons of bitches not only bored us with a "pow-wow" but they had also removed almost half the movie. Obviously to spare us from the painful dreads of R E A L I T Y.
I think I should have made a deal with them back then: I watch 'Pinocchio pow-wow' and they put diapers on me the rest of my life. Because if you're going to spoon-feed children that dramatically then you'd better go for the diaper-them-for-the-rest-of-their-life package too. I guess the video was even painful for the adults that had to baby-sit the children in that "home", because we never did watch another "pow-wow" movie again. But that's not the last I heard of the concept.
Place: Tijuana (for sure); age: ~9.
There was a real creep named Urius, who was the biggest brown nosing son of a bitch around. He had lived in several homes with my parents (Tom and Jeanetta aka Clement and Promise.) One of his "responsibilities" apparently came to be movie time with the children. This lasted for a whole ONCE and I guess he realized it was even too stupid for him to do again. They had rented Disney’s "The Jungle book", so all the kids were wrangled up for the viewing. Apparently good ol' "uncle" Urius was familiar with the "pow-wow" concept that I’ve renamed to: "TECHNIQUE FOR BORING THE HELL FROM CHILDREN AS TO ENSURE THEY NEVER AGAIN WILL WANT TO WATCH ANOTHER GODDAMN CARTOON IN THEIR LIFE." And man oh man this guy was GOOD!
This was probably the crux of my disdain for "the family". This son of a bitch was long winded to the point I just wanted to take the remote control he was using to pause the video with and beat him until he had trouble breathing. The next two hours made me long for 'Pinocchio pow-wow'. I’m at a loss for words when it comes to explaining the sheer contempt a child can hold for a balding, crooked toothed bastard when he's pausing a cartoon. That’s like watching a suspense thriller and pausing it right before each climax.
I’ll sum this up by saying there was one Disney I remember them allowing us to see uninterrupted: "Bambi". Sorry, but I’m not a little girl and can't get into a movie about deer. Watching that movie in its entirety was right between 'Pinocchio pow-wow' and talkfest with "uncle Urius"
TYJ PTL ABC XYZ |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from iratepirates
Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 20:02
(Agree/Disagree?)
I got in trouble for watching Captain Planet once WTF?? :)
(reply to this comment)
| from Heywood jablome
Monday, June 07, 2004 - 02:49
(Agree/Disagree?)
Man you think watching that shit was bad. I had to sit there while they filmed the pow wow. I just found out that was sara. Fuckin A
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| from Dr. Inisde- out
Sunday, June 06, 2004 - 19:32
(Agree/Disagree?)
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| from tastypants
Tuesday, March 23, 2004 - 18:40
(Agree/Disagree?)
fuck i remember they used to let us watch carebears and they would edit out parts wtf were they thinkin it the fuckin carebears.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from Shaka
Friday, March 05, 2004 - 01:13
 (Agree/Disagree?)
Another ode to a pow-wowed classic. I'm sure you all remember Six Weeks. Not only did the movie suck ass on it's own, but they gotta keep pausing it and prolong the torture? Not only did that goddamn Sara D bitch keep going on and on about why the little girl was gonna go to Heaven and how sweet it was that her mommy was whoring with the midget politician("Just like we do, kids!"), but our ever insightful teacher made it a point to pause the damn thing every time he thought it had been too long since Sara D had last deemed fit to mutilate our patience. After the first half hour, visions of cramming the TV so far up our teacher's rectum that we could watch it through his mouth were running through our creative little heads. Oh, yeah. I just remembered what the pow-wow movie project was called. "Making Movies Meaningful". Popcorn, anyone?
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| from Mir
Sunday, February 08, 2004 - 15:46
(Agree/Disagree?)
LOL! You have me in stitches!
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| from Shaka
Wednesday, February 04, 2004 - 23:18
(Agree/Disagree?)
That "aunty" who wouldn't shut up was Sara Davidito by the way. So now you have more reason to hate her than just what Ricky said. She was the cause of heartbreak to all of us. MAY SHE BURN IN HELL!!!!!
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| from Shaka
Wednesday, February 04, 2004 - 23:14
(Agree/Disagree?)
LOL!!! You brought back some fond memories man! That was my first cartoon. I was 4 years old in Osaka, Japan. I asked if we could fast-forward the talking and got a smack in the head and was made to stand facing away from the screen for the entire movie. And no special snack!! That brought some tears, even though it was Saltine crackers. Good times. Ahhhhh,
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|  From Mydestinyismine
Thursday, February 05, 2004, 01:44
(Agree/Disagree?)
Fortunately I usually thought out everything I was gonna say before saying it, until I just couldn't stand not watching sports. My dad still thinks not allowing us to watch sports was a good move. I remember having to stand next to the TV facing everyone while they watched a movie or laughed at me. TF used punishments that required no or minimal work on their part. (reply to this comment) |
| | from Gregd
Wednesday, February 04, 2004 - 06:40
(Agree/Disagree?)
I remember my first video ngiht with the teens and an adult keeps talking through it (later found out it was pow wowing) so I ask him to please not talk and people looked at me like I'm the freak!
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| | | | | | | from roughneck
Tuesday, February 03, 2004 - 23:58
(Agree/Disagree?)
Good Article, I (now, thanks a bunch!) remember the damn movie night "pow-wows" all too well. Funny timing though, as my wife was just remarking the other evening how APN's "Bingo and a Movie" (they were playing "The Last of the Mohicans") reminded her of the "movie pow-wows", what with stoppage and long winded commentary at every plot point..- oh, and a bingo game! (Personally, I think a bingo game would have improved the "pinocchio pow-wow" by a score...who was that aunty-drone anyway?) All that to say thanks for the refreshing of memories I'd been trying to repress.. :)
Oh, by the way, LUCKY YOU!! At least the adults in your home (by the sounds of it) wizened up enough to not pow-wow movies any more after the Pinocchio screening . Not so for me!!! For us, vvery (read'm, EVERY) damn movie was freakin pow-wowed from Joe vs. the freakin Volcano to Star Wars to Quo Vadis, and everything in between.
On the topic of really funky pow-wow specials, does anyone else remember the strangeness that was "Hunk"? I only just remembered that I was all of a sudden "allowed" to see it when I turned 12. (Why? beats me. Thankfully it's lasting influence is confined to the remembrance of the definition of the phrase "tupperware party" which I had not heard prior to watching same movie.)
(clever turn of phrase here)
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| | | | | | | From whatta nitemare
Wednesday, February 04, 2004, 10:17
(Agree/Disagree?)
yeah, i remember "hunk" and several other long winded pow pow movies such as "6 weeks" "pretty in pink" (or something like that) with some internally filmed ejaculation which was rewound a couple times in the video editing with lots of "isn't that beautiful? TTL" comments along with it.....how sick is that?! i mean ok, we were adults then (12 yrs old) sure, but still.....(reply to this comment) |
| | From John David
Wednesday, February 04, 2004, 05:22
(Agree/Disagree?)
i have no idea who the aunty drone was. but she was actually part of the movie for that one. like they had recorded it onto the video where ever the family made their movies.
most of the homes i was in didn't do the "pow-wow" thing, thank god. but i can't believe you were allowed to watch star wars. i was always told that movie was full of "satan's witchcraft blah blah blah".
in monterrey, mexico we use to have the best movie nights i remember. though it seemed 'back to the future' was played every damn time. (reply to this comment) |
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