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Getting Out : Inside Out
DO THE MOTIONS! | from John David - Thursday, January 29, 2004
accessed 2839 times Some kids got to play with G.I. Joe's, I got to do the motions. Watching Britney Spears and the Backstreet boys wield their bodies in flashy dance moves aimed at enticing 13 year old girls brings back some pretty amusing memories: the Family's music motions.
From the crossed-arms-over-the-chest for "love" to rocking-crossed-arms-back-and-forth for "Baby Jesus", I’m sure all of "God's children" have had to participate in, or watch, what I like to call PAINFUL PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT. TYJ, PTL.
Now it wouldn't have been so bad if those bizarre rain dances were kept in the "homes" or done in the dark, but no, you can't hide your little light. I remember numerous times I had to raise this little light of mine in the form of my index finger and wave it around as if to let it shine.
One such instance is permanently cauterized in my memory, the place: Torreon, Mexico, age: ~8. All the kids were made to dance out the motions for a rich man and his family who had donated Christmas items to our "home". But I had a hard time bringing myself to do that in front of cute little girls. I was never above bucking the family system, (I mean, what System? The family wasn't a System... no Systemites here, we played it by ear every day, right?) a personal choice of mine that led to many punishments in various flavors including: Writing "Reactions", "Spankings" and long drawn out lectures about how I’m listening to the Devil. (Which I always assumed was actually me acting out the whole free-will thing God gave us.)
So on this day I decided I was NOT going to do the motions. After all, little cute girls are watching, and I wouldn't want to ruin my chances of scoring, yanno. I didn't actually tell anyone I wouldn't do the motions; I simply didn't do them once I reached the makeshift stage. This quickly caught the attention of the Gestapo, so I was singled out and quickly taken out of public view for a rebuking, and of course, threats of punishment. Now, the whole point of me NOT doing the motions was to ensure a lot of attention wasn't brought to me. The fact that I was a circus monkey on a stage performing for cute girls was enough anguish, God forbid they actually see me.
My plan was working out better than I had thought, for the time being. I wasn't on stage, I wasn't doing motions and now nobody could see me, though I did have to listen to some whackaloon tell me that "rebellion is of the Devil" and I was listening to him, yet again. You know what, spare me. If the Devil is telling me not to do something so I don't have to deal with painful anguish in public, I’m not above listening to him. If that were the Devil I’d assume he recently took human form in the shape of a portly man I call Dr. Phil. now. It seemed all was well, but nothing ever worked out the way I wanted it.
Then came the options. There was always some sort of option in a lot of cases, but of course, option/demand A, (what you were suppose to do for the Family) was always better than option/clever-plan B (the intimidating and more painful option designed to ensure you get back to option/demand A without a whole lot rebuttal). Option/clever-plan B consisted of me standing in the corner on stage. TOUCHE, you sons of bitches, I thought.
So here I am, faced with two options and two only. I could go back and be embarrassed and live in anguish for the duration of the show, or I could go back and be ULTRA embarrassed and live in anguish for the duration of the show. Do the motions and sing along or stand in the corner for all to see I was being properly punished for rebellion.
For most children the choice was simple, but there is a third option. It can't be categorized in the A, B sense. It was more of MANIPULATION OF THE SITUATION in the form of stalling, with enough rhetoric and time consuming argumentation one could draw out the situation until MOTION TIME was OVER.
I got one hell of a beating when I got back to the home, but I sure the hell didn't have to do the goddamn motions for those cute little girls, and that's what it was all about, bearing my cross. BUT NOT IN PUBLIC.
They could break my ass, but they never could break my spirit when I didn't want to do the fucking MOTIONS. |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from Holon
Friday, February 06, 2004 - 09:50
(Agree/Disagree?)
I hated doing motions aswell so one day I was singing out with my father and sisters in Jackson square and decided that day that come hell or high water I was going to learn to play the guitar, and be the best I could so I wouldnt have to do "motions" anymore.
2 years later I was playing the guitar and singing my little heart out and would just smile at the fact that I was behind the guitar and not out front doing "motions". After that point I never had to do "motions" again .
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| from Christy
Thursday, February 05, 2004 - 17:54
(Agree/Disagree?)
This one's bringing back a lot of memories. At one point my sisters and I decided we were no longer going to include any "kids" songs in our reportoire. We were at the preteen stage and were tired of being embarassed by songs with silly motions like He's Got the Whole World, This Little Light of Mine, or I believe in Love. The "sister" that used to take us restaurant singing had a mean streak and would occasionally put us on the spot by beginning to play one of those songs on the guitar. I guess she figured that once she started we wouldn't dare be a bad sample and refuse to perform the song. We solved this by going ahead and singing the song but just clapping or snapping, instead of doing the stupid motions.
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| from Mydestinyismine
Thursday, February 05, 2004 - 01:37
(Agree/Disagree?)
I remember not wanting to participate in "Dance Groups" and having to do "gardening" in it's place. Was more of a punishment to me cause for the longest time we didn't play sports, a month is along time for no sports. The Fukuoka Combo was a nightmare, with Michael and Crystal running the teen group and treating us Jetts like crap. And Midoriko, were any of you there? That's where I believe the first Victor Camp was. That child abuser amos, he'd have the girls sit on his lap while sledding. Alot of beatings went on there. There's alot of adults that had better not run into me again. One more asshole that most of you probably don't know, Johnny Newman. He sang snowflake in the japanese version of TA.
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| from Motion Sickness
Thursday, February 05, 2004 - 00:03
(Agree/Disagree?)
Somebody has a funny brother ;)
I will admit, though, that the "I believe in love song" Sarafina mentioned was until more recently than I cared to admit, the only way I knew left from right. Where I was, it was "lalalala -- Creo en el amor" and the hands go left first, then right. Earthlings must have been puzzled when they would see me kind of look into the distance and move both my hands slightly whenever there was a need to know left from right. If it was the right I was looking for, there was an extra delay, since left came first and right came next in THE MOTIONS.
I have a lot of bitterness stories about singing teams so don't get me started. I mean, being 8 years old, getting a sore throat and being "dealt with" to "snap out of it" and "seek the Lord & pray desperately" for the Lord to forgive whatever I did wrong cause we had a performance that night and I was the only girl on the singing team?
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|  From katrim4
Thursday, February 05, 2004, 12:13
(Agree/Disagree?)
Ahhh, the bittersweet memories of singing teams. There were so many perks that came with being on the singing team that it was usually better than staying home and watching kids or washing dishes. It was almost worth the embarrasment. Provisioned meals, candy, glimpses of soap opera's, invitations to resorts. The clothing we wore to go singing was usually questionable at best, if not down right whorish.
When we lived in Los Mochis the singing team went on strike one time. I have no idea how we got away with that. My dad and the other "uncle" in the home were at the TTC and the only other uncle there (the singing team guitar player) was suffering from an "affliction" so he couldn't deal with us. We all locked ourselves in the van and refused to go into the house or go singing again until we got to eat out. My mom and the aunties were beside themselves, crying and begging for us to come out of the van. No doubt they were asking god where they had gone wrong for their children to behave in such a "systemite" way. I don't know what finally got us out of that van (probablly the heat). But we sure got a nice meal every time we went out after that. :-)(reply to this comment) |
| | From exister
Thursday, February 05, 2004, 16:10
(Agree/Disagree?)
I suggested a labor strike once at the Guadalajara TC. It seemed like a logical idea to me since we were being forced to work on our only rest day. No sooner had I said it than that rat bastard Vas smelled a brown nosing opportunity and the whole movement was crushed. I got all my books confiscated, even the gardening ones. Then I think they made me go fish the latest drowned rabbit out of the pool. So much for organized adolescent labor.(reply to this comment) |
| | from Shaka
Wednesday, February 04, 2004 - 23:39
(Agree/Disagree?)
Ok, whoever has not stood on the stage of a school for troubled kids ( aka 500 black and Hispanic gang members and hoochies ) and jumped around smacking their own asses while singing "Gospel Riders", has no idea what the fuck it means to do the motions. Those guys probably hadn't laughed that hard since shooting their first white person.
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| | | | from sarafina
Friday, January 30, 2004 - 16:56
(Agree/Disagree?)
LOl that was great! I remember all those stupid hand motions some in particular was alternating and raising one hand and shaking it to that song "la la la la la...I believe in love ..I believe in love ..don't you believe in love too?" also I hated "He's got the whole world in his hands" w/ making stupid motions to..the big big fish in his hands..little bitty babies..and so forth. It wasn't so bad when I was a kid but when had to do those same songs and motions till I was like 12-13 uggh! Though I was more concerned with being the first one into the singing clothes box so I could find the shortest skirt that twirled the most before my sisters got there..lol
Then it just got better with the famous "Heart Skit" raise your hand if you ever had to do that one ! "I'm just a sad and lonley heart nothing can make me happy.." then everyone comes by with all the different keys and trys to make you happy. I'll tell you what something was really wrong with that heart cause all those Keys sure work on me NOW! except for that um last one..lol
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| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | from exister
Friday, January 30, 2004 - 12:31
(Agree/Disagree?)
It seems no matter how long I went without bathing or combing my hair they still insisted on putting me in front of a bunch of strangers in a seafood restaurant to do the motions. Clearly quantity mattered more than quality to these musical loons because I have no doubt that my scrappy ass made one sorry sight dressed in that faggoty outfit waving my arms in the air. Apparently they were trying to assemble a massive, Handelian choral section that could so overwhelm the dining masses to the point that they would buy the stupid tapes just to get us the fuck out of the resaurant. This travesty occured every weekend with the occasional lucky break when the local mariachi band decided to put their foot down and drown out Vas' sorry ass guitar strumming.
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| From Nancy
Saturday, January 31, 2004, 13:55
(Agree/Disagree?)
Family singing reminds me of my kid’s book. It goes something like:
Monkeys drum… …and monkeys hum.
Hum drum
Hum drum
Hum drum hum.
Hands play banjos
Strum strum strum.
Hands play fiddles
Zum zum zum.
Dum ditty
Dum ditty
Dum dum dum,
Hand in hand
More monkeys come.
Millions of fingers!
Millions of thumbs!
Millions of monkeys
Drumming on drums!
Dum ditty
Dum ditty
Dum dum dum.
-Al Perkins
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| | From John David
Friday, January 30, 2004, 20:40
(Agree/Disagree?)
Our home had a special girls group to stalk fancy restaurants. They'd wear huge Spanish dresses and mastered every motion in the book.
Now, if people's only means of income consisted of whoring out young girls and their motions, then it's time to reivaluate one's pathetic existance. But I guess they were just pimps for God. So it's alright. As long as they threw in God somewhere, it was okay.
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| | | | | from Nancy
Friday, January 30, 2004 - 10:40
(Agree/Disagree?)
(Crosses arms over heart, points at you) I love you man!!! This article gets the kick-ass seal of approval. Carry on NOT doing the f'ing motions!
BTW, I really do think mother would appreciate this little tidbit, say dressed up in a pop-up Valentine's Day card. Maybe add those little OOO's and XXX's and :)'s she puts in her letters at the end just to say "no hard feelings." Not.
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| | | | | | | | | | From Nancy
Saturday, January 31, 2004, 11:11
(Agree/Disagree?)
Uh, I hate to be technical here, but it annoys me more than anything when people use the cult expression "are you so-in-so OF so-in-so?" It sounds like the friggin' Old Testament. Try "are your folks/parental units/mother and father so-in-so?" Or "are you so-in-so's kid?" But not, "is so-in-so your FLESH father" - cultish again.
To the revised question "were you John, Tom and Jeanetta's son?" the answer is yes. Windy - in SA. See, doesn't it feel better already? Don't you just feel liberated?
BTW, are you Daniel and Vessel's kid? A Cunningham? Your siblings and you were nice enough, but your folks make my skin crawl just thinking about them!!! Horrid childhood memories, especially of her, ugh! She needed to put on some clothes! No, hard feelings to you. My mother and step-father invoke some skin crawling, too. A pox on all of them! May they rot in welfare obscurity hell.(reply to this comment) |
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