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Getting Out : Seeking Justice
To Ado & Kanah (Dan & Katie Roselle) | from enigma - Thursday, February 03, 2005
accessed 2527 times Dad & Mom, (Daniel & Katie Roselle, aka: Ado & Kanah) I am writing you this letter to tell you how disappointed I am with you. I know you are still in The Family and you have to tow the party line, but it seems that you have taken it upon yourself to actively denounce Daniel, call him a liar and make it seem as if it is just him and a few “bitter, vitriolic apostates” trying to destroy The Family. I am so sick of that parroted phrase. It is just like TF to use spin and lies to cast blame on a few select people when there are many who are speaking out despite the difficulties. They are speaking out not to destroy The Family but in a quest for justice. I am so proud of him and the multitudes of others who are willing to expose the lies that TF has worked for so long to hide. It is not easy to take on a group that has gotten rid of evidence and drilled adults and children alike to lie for so long that it becomes natural.
I’m sure you are going to blame my “bitterness” on Daniel, [my older brother] which would be a convenient conclusion, albeit a false one. Since you don’t know what it is like to leave TF, I’ll explain what I went through after I left, as I’m sure others have gone through this as well.
Right after I left I just wanted to get on with my new life and forget about The Family. I thought TF should be left alone. I knew of all the abuse that had taken place but I believed “it was not wide spread” and I thought TF had changed. Compounding the decision to leave was being told that if I left I was going to end up flipping burgers or become homeless and on drugs (those “Traumatic Testimonies” really scared us.) I wanted to leave earlier but Daniel was not yet in a position where I could move in with him. The home where I was at the time, the SC in Dallas, was a nice place with all 2nd generation young people who were nice, fun and I enjoyed living with them; so I waited as long as I could. When things started getting real weird: signing a commitment document, bowing before someone dressed as Maria and Peter, millions of new strange prophecies, I couldn’t stay any longer.
After some time I realized that all I had gone through in TF was not normal, as I had been told while growing up. In fact it was mostly lies. It took some time for me to come to this realization, as my past life was so deeply entrenched. The Family works hard to tell everyone that the “system” is evil and is out to destroy them and that they are normal. That is obviously not true. It is disturbing to think about all the lies I had been told while in The Family, but even more disturbing is the cover up that has been undertaken to say that abuses did not take place, and if they did, the leadership knew nothing about them.
You deny any abuse happened to Daniel and say he never told you about it earlier. How could he have told you about it earlier when TF promoted abuse and we were taught that there was nothing wrong with it? If he had told you, you probably would have said “take it to the lord” or “get the victory”. Sexual abuse is just one aspect of abuse many of us suffered and there were many forms of abuse taking place.
I am also very upset that you brought A. [my younger sister] into this. I read that post on myconclusion.com that was attributed to her. First off, I think either you wrote it for her or coached her and edited it, but that is not the main issue. Here is one quote from her post that really baffles and concerns me “I’ve been thinking a lot over the last couple weeks about life and the meaning of it, trying to find some semblance of surety that my existence has counted for something. Because I could have been the innocent woman killed that night, and as things stand now I would have been awfully unprepared.” I hope she doesn’t really believe that. She continues “ I won’t take this attack on my faith and family any longer, enough of hiding my head in the sand and letting others take the rap for their convictions, if it’s the last thing I do, I will speak out.”
I definitely don’t condone murder and I am terribly saddened by what Ricky did. However, there is no way “it could have been her” like she says in her post. She is seventeen years old, a second-generation person, who had nothing to do with the abuses suffered by Ricky or anyone else for that matter. All the attention that TF is getting is not some religious persecution or an attack on your faith. I don’t care if you believe that heaven is in the moon, that the Jews are the anti-christs or that Jesus is going to come back in 1986 (or was it 1984.) It has nothing to do with convictions either; unless your convictions are that it is acceptable to abuse children. This is a search for justice.
She goes on to say: “ Four of my older siblings have left the Family, I love and respect each of them and what their doing in their lives. All I ask of them in return is: let me live my life, love my God, and do my best in what little time I have to change my part of the world. Stop trying to change my mind and shake my convictions. My feet are firmly planted and will not be moved. ” While I definitely think she should leave TF that is her choice. Have I once told her to leave TF? She is free to do what she wants. Ironically, I remember when I left people were trying to persuade me to stay and were trying to change my mind. I hope you are not telling the children in TF that this “persecution” is because of their faith in your religious beliefs. Although it seems like that is precisely what you are telling them.
They are lucky that they were not born earlier and did not have to go through all the terrible things their older siblings went through. I do, however, wish they could see the letters that have been blotted out, cut out or destroyed to hide the evidence. Why don’t the younger teens step aside and let their brothers and sister seek the justice that any human deserves.
I don’t hate you nor do I think you are bad people, but you have made some bad decisions. I know there are many that had it worse than I did. In some respects I guess I was lucky. I think the worst thing The Family did to me was to break my spirit. I learned to keep quiet and not stand out otherwise there could be severe consequences: Silence restriction for days, public punishment, physical isolation, hard manual labor, forced reading and writing reactions, etc. You probably think you were good parents and protected us while we were in TF. You might have been good parents, while you were around. I have looked back to try and remember the last time I really lived with you. The last time (besides one year in 98) was in Korea when I was 8. You have no idea what was happening to us while we were in our groups and essentially saw you once a day (family time) or once a week (family day), that is if you were not traveling around as “shepherds” visiting homes. It seems to me that in The Family’s quest to save lost souls, somewhere along the way they lost track of the souls that were right in front of them; their children.
The Family tries to portray these abuses as isolated incidents, when everyone knows that abuses were not just sanctioned but promoted, just like everything else that was published by Berg & Zerby. The Family tries to portray Daniel as the only one leading this “persecution”. Anyone who has been on Movingon knows that there are many people who have suffered and many who are speaking out – although frequenting that site is forbidden for Family members so how would they know the truth. I don’t know if you realize that the only thing the TF accomplishes by trying to cover up the truth is that more SG’s -who know what happened but maybe did not have it as bad as some did- become angry enough to speak out against TF’s lies.
The Family could have apologized years ago. And by apology I don’t mean a we-are-sorry-for-anything-bad-that-might-have-happened apology for PR sake, but a sincere apology that begins with: “The Family is very sorry for these abuses. These abuses were instituted and condoned by Berg, Zerby & Peter on down through our letters. Please tell us the abuses you suffered and by whom and we will investigate the abuses.” How can Borowick lie and say that there is a process for TF to investigate abuses? If so can you please mail me some forms and let me know whom I can contact. I also ask that it be posted online, as I’m sure you know there are many people who have posted their personal stories and would like to have something done about it. As The Family writes so prolifically, where are the letters that explain the procedures for reporting and investigating these abuses?
What I don’t understand is how you can malign your own son. Is it the embarrassment you feel over having four children out of the cult that makes you do this in an attempt to show how dedicated you are? I don’t care what you do or what you believe. I just don’t want you to impede the truth and peoples quest for justice. I hope you are not praying for God to “take Daniel out of the way” like we used to pray would happen to other “enemies” of TF that were on the “Prayer List”. Is that not tantamount to condoning murder? I did see his name mentioned in a prayer request and it made me wonder about that. Just so you know, Daniel does not do this for fun, but along with many others, despite the difficulty, he has helped to give a voice to those who have gone through the same experiences.
One thing The Family is very good at is professing one thing to their members and the public, while practicing something else. I remember when M. [another of my sisters] decided to leave The Family a few years ago. Dan and I went to pick her up at the FCF where she was living. When we arrived, a little boy, he couldn’t have been over the age of 7, said “The bad men have come to take our sweet M. away.” I was shocked. What were they telling these children? That we are all evil bad people? M. made her own decision to leave. I was just as surprised when she told us she was leaving as you probably were. It is despicable that TF lies to the younger children, some of them our own brothers and sisters, by telling them that we are bad people who are trying to steal others out of The Family while at the same time professing their respect for our decision to leave and saying they still love us. After years of working for TF what do we get when we leave? Nothing.
I know over the last few years The Family has been trying to legitimize themselves through public relations initiatives. As you know most of TF projects were started with the specific idea of PR in mind; the original mission of TF was to save souls and help people spiritually not physically. Somewhere along the line they realized that it could be a good way to raise money and become “legitimate”. I hope you realize that TF will never legitimize themselves unless they confront these abuses honestly. I doubt that will ever happen as a lot of the top leaders would have to answer for their crimes.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t have parents. I did not live with you much while I was in TF and as you know I never really had a close relationship with you. I don’t really miss communicating with you, but sometimes I wish I had someone to be proud of me. I am responsible; I work hard and have a decent job. I go to school full time, have a high GPA, and will soon be transferring to a good university. No credit goes to you or TF for that. I had practically no schooling while in TF and most things I was taught were distortions or lies.
All that I have accomplished since leaving has been thanks to hard work, studying incessantly and the support and encouragement of my brothers. I get the feeling that you don’t really care if I am doing well or not. Maybe you wish that I became that example that we so often heard about while in The Family: on drugs and a bum or flipping burgers. That reminds me; have you ever though about what you will do as you get older? You are already in your 50’s and will soon need to retire. I hope the Lord supplies for you because I sure won’t. If you want to write a reply you are welcome too, but otherwise unless you have a change of heart and mind and realize where you have gone wrong, I don’t want to have anything to do with you.
Josh R. |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from calliesmum
Monday, October 16, 2006 - 10:38
(Agree/Disagree?)
Hi,
I did not grow up in the family. I grew up in another religious "sect"that prevented outside influence or free thinking.
I Josh am a parent. I would be so proud to have a son like you.
I just wanted you to know that you are a fine example of what all of us want our children to grow up to be like and I just wanted to let you know that.
I also wanted you to know that god is not "sect" minded. He associated with prostitutes and leprosy ( I know I spelled that wrong sorry) and he was into loving and caring and telling everyone about god. He gives us free will.
I just want to encourage you with your " freed mind" to perhaps seek a god of love like the rest of us.
Although he gave us free will, sometimes bad things happen to good people. It is a hard thing for us to accept without being able to read the bible again, a normal bible not one "doctored " for their own beliefs. By asking for his help we are allowing him into our lives, he will help. We need to act accordingly. If it is a true request( he won't help us win the lottery or anything like that, but what do I know, if it was a real need, perhaps he would), he will help.
I know that leaving a "sect" like religion made me turn from god, I was so angry at the abuse suffered to me as a child in the name of "love and god" but he isn't about that. He is about love.
I read my bible and pray and talk with him, in my own way. I swear at him in my prayers if I am angry, I let him know and I let him console me and ask him for healing.
I feel I am well adjusted as I can be.
I know that I have two children and I hope they are well adjusted and I am very close with them always. I love success stories and I LOVED reading yours.
Please do be an example to children of the family on how they can make a life.
And again, from a mom, my heart goes out to you and I feel so proud of you and so happy for the life you are building.
It did not go unnoticed! This mom, is proud.
Way to go !!!
Hugs!!!
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| from yeawaeva
Wednesday, January 04, 2006 - 06:38
(Agree/Disagree?)
I met your dad right before leaving TF a couple months back. He encouraged me in my decision, said it doesn't mean I'm evil or bad. Said I should be happy in what I decide to do. So quite frankly, I think he's a sweetheart.
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|  From tuneman7
Wednesday, January 04, 2006, 14:58
 (Agree/Disagree?)
Many people who have met my Dad, outsiders and cult members alike, comment that he is one of the most likeable people they've ever met. No matter, he, like Daniel Roselle Sr. supports child abusers, child rapists and criminals of the very worst sort (Berg, Zerby, Steven Kelley, Samuel Charles Perfilio, etc. ....)
He knows the truth of what happened to my sister, myself and others. The man has blood on his hands, likeable or not, these people will give account of themselves. If there is a God, may He spare His mercy on their perverted and deluded souls for the harm they have done to innocent children, the deception they have been party to and the lie they have lived.(reply to this comment) |
| | From Albatross
Wednesday, January 04, 2006, 08:57
(Agree/Disagree?)
My father Daniel Craig Roselle aka Ado is a sick twisted confused supporter of child abusers and child rapists. By all rights he should be in jail. That he was nice to you when you left is your good fortune. He also knows that any bullying on his part in this day and age would be anounced widely. That he has not done you injury does not exculpate him from the many abuses he has been party to thru the years. His day of judgment will come.
Daniel Roselle(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From exister
Wednesday, January 04, 2006, 08:00
(Agree/Disagree?)
And now it all becomes clear my fresh off the boat friend. You physically left The Family 2 months ago, but The Family is all up in your head still fucking with you.
Of course Ado encouraged you in your decision to leave. By now The Family has realized two things. First, it is inevitable that many SGAs will leave and second that they had better make nice with as many of them as they can. I'll bet you're the kind of sucker that could be bought off with a smile and a handshake. I hope for your sake you don't get in a car accident any time soon because you would probably take 10 cents on the dollar from your insurance company if they brought you a muffin in your hospital bed.
Wake up you silly little rube! Ado and Kena explicitly implemented the brutalization of scores, possibly hundreds of teenagers, myself among them. And out here in the real world teenagers are considered children, not demon posessed tools of Satan or social experimentation fuck toys.
It doesn't matter one bit how fucking nice Ado was to you, he is still a Sadist and a criminal and that will never change. Poorly worded apologies and quaint Judeo-Christian themes of redemption don't hold much water out here in the civilized world, and you had best assimilate that fact or you will have a very rough time indeed.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from katrim4
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 21:29
(Agree/Disagree?)
Hey Josh,
I think your post is one of the most honest sincere posts I've ever read. You and I come from the same age category of Family children, we're part of that category that caught the tail end of every new revolution and whim that blew through The Family.
Reading your post reminded me of your wonderful sense of humor (remember taste testing all that milk and sorting all those shoes?) and what a pleasure it was to know you back in the day when our lives were so bleak.
You are absolutely right when you say: "After some time I realized that all I had gone through in TF was not normal, as I had been told while growing up. In fact it was mostly lies." I remember sitting out by the pool in the back of the Saltillo School property reading "Deceiver's Yet True" and who knows how many other publications that told us precisely what to say and think about any abuses that had happened to us. We weren't given a chance to make up our own minds about what was going on or what we'd been through, we were given our frame of mind and I can totally relate to having to re-think everything and having to form a personal opionion on every single issue.
Just wanted to say you're not the only one. Any one of us that went through that time period in The Family and can come out on top like you have has my utmost respect.
E-mail me sometime if you get the time, I'd love to hear about your what you're studying. Take care. -Kat.
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| from xhrisl
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 21:28
(Agree/Disagree?)
Josh, we, your peers are proud of you. Keep up the good work!
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| from ErikMagnusLehnsher
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 18:19
(Agree/Disagree?)
Great post, Josh.
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| from Nancy
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 11:29
(Agree/Disagree?)
Josh, if your parents send you the forms to lodge a complaint and report abuse, will you send me a copy. I'd like to do so. I did before I left, but the national officers, Rose, Marc and Andrew, told me not to tell my parents. Nothing ever became of my report of being molested.
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| from Bella
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 09:31
(Agree/Disagree?)
Excellent post Josh. So sad though. I wish you the best of luck with your upcoming transfer. Take it from me, UCLA is both tough and rewarding. You will do fabulously there!
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| from Nick
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 08:04
(Agree/Disagree?)
In your post you say "make it seem as if it is just him and a few “bitter, vitriolic apostates” "
Well why don't you look at this site. There are 2,373 registered members on this site. Lets be generous and say that maybe 700 to 800 are duplicate accounts or people no longer active or whatever, that still leaves a good 1,500 of us “bitter, vitriolic apostates” that are all unified in our stance. That’s not a small group.Just on a side note, have you noticed how they are no longer calling us Vandari? I think the realized how quickly we adopted that trendy little phrase and wore the title with pride. We are now "apostates"
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| from Nancy
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 07:52
(Agree/Disagree?)
Josh,
Your letter gave me chills! It is perfectly written to express what so many of us feel, probably hundreds of us. Thank you for responding to the cult's untrue statements. We don't condone violence. Daniel is not influencing us. We wanted justice long before we knew Daniel agreed with us. No one is attacking our younger siblings in the cult. We are only addressing child abusers and want legal justice. We would protect our younger siblings in the cult and don't want any harm to come to them. We wish we had been so lucky and had someone interested in protecting us.
Josh, you aren't much younger than me, but I have to say, you make me proud. You were a sweet kid when I knew you. You're a fine, well-spoken man now. Take care of yourself!
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| from Haunted
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 07:50
(Agree/Disagree?)
Josh,
This letter struck me as so pure and honest compared to the many postings we see coming from the group. Good for you for having the courage to go public with this. I can only imagine how painful it has been for you to have your family's personal "dirty laundry" aired out there for all the world to see and to see Dan trashed and dragged through the mud by your own parents and siblings.
Dan, like myself and many of us has had to become a parent figure for his siblings who have left and our parents need to appreciate that! Good luck with everything.
Take care, Joni
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| from Guccigirl
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 05:17
(Agree/Disagree?)
Thanks for that Josh, you articulated my presice sentaments
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| from sorry
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 05:12
(Agree/Disagree?)
great letter! my parents have been out for a few years now however i still find it very difficult to talk about our past and childhood....
one point i would like to comment on though is what you mentionned at the end of your letter regarding retirement....i've often brought that subject up - somewhat in anger - and i get the answer "the Lord will supply"...my initial reaction was "great, because i will not and i doubt any of my 6 brothers, 2 sisters and 2 sons will either!" however (and although this does not change my point of view even though i feel a natural responsibility to care for my parents or any other member of my family) i figure it is in a way fear to face the reality....i believe if my parents start thinking about reality they get depressed so they prefer to keep living a semi-lie...after all, wasting more than 30 valuable years of your life must not be something easy to face or deal with.
to be honest, i also worry about what will happen to my parents, although i do in NO way agree with the choices they have made in the past, i cannot see myself letting them to die alone and sick....
what ever happened to the FAF (if i recall right)? wasn't this also supposed to help the aging members when their health etc would start failing? I might be wrong as i left 10 years ago, however and again, i greatly doubt a lot of the members who slaved away long years to provide the leadership with the 10% and then 14% will ever even get a bit of help after having sacrificed their best years
so much more to say but have got to go and do not want to bore anyone
take care
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| From clark
Friday, February 04, 2005, 12:28
(Agree/Disagree?)
My parents left 2 yrs ago. They are in their mid 50's. My dad was always the "handyman" and is very talented with woodwork, fixit stuff, etc. I cried when he got a job remodeling old homes. He works very hard and comes home filthy. I know it was a shock for him too to realize he was starting from scratch at his age and doing the work my brothers in their teens do, but it is as start and he is a dedicated hard worker. He was voted "most likely to succed" in college b4 he joined and has now started school again to be a teacher. It is scarry for our parents to face reality when they leave, but we can't give up encouraging them to do it. Better mid 50's than mid 60's. It's never too late.(reply to this comment) |
| | From cheeks
Wednesday, January 04, 2006, 15:41
(Agree/Disagree?)
My parents left almost nine years ago and my dad still works two jobs to make ends meet. At first I let my mom watch my kids and paid over the top baby sitting money. My dad was able to work at only one job with the baby sitting money helping them make ends meet. But my mom decided she was unable to watch the kids my dad had to go out and get another job.(reply to this comment) |
| | From exister99
Thursday, January 05, 2006, 06:52
(Agree/Disagree?)
If and when my parents get out they can get jobs at Wal-Mart and McDonalds simultaneously and I will shed nary a fucking tear for their toil. Do you think that after fighting them and The Family tooth and nail for 16 years just to achieve an intellectual grasp of the world around me I will then feel sorry for them when they suffer the consequences of their ignorance and vehement anti-intellectualism?
When after long hard years of work I graduated from college I sent my parents a copy of my graduation picture with me in the full get up with honors tassles and all. It would have made any sensible parent proud, but I didn't even get a fucking response. This tells me that not only are they intentionally uneducated, but also lack common human decency. When they come knocking at my door they will be greeted with a smile and a stack of fast food restaurant job applications.
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| | From solemn
Thursday, January 05, 2006, 08:53
(Agree/Disagree?)
You have cut through the crap with a chainsaw E-99. My parents have been out for many years and they still don't have their shit together. When the are forced to retire and live on a meager social security check my heart will not break. They chose to buck the system and avoid the rat race. They chose their own paths, so they can worry about the consequence.(reply to this comment) |
| | from from communal orphan.
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 00:39
(Agree/Disagree?)
I knew your Mom and Dad,
You're letter is great. I can see by it that you are hurt that you are seperate from your parents, you fell like you do not have parents. I have parents who were asked to leave. My mom was delighted and 10 yrs latter my dad says leaving is the best thing and attributes it to my Mom she is the greatest because she enabled him to leave the family.
I also wanted to publicly thank Steve who asked them to go. Thank You. Since we are all out I must say sorry for being offended that you asked my brother Tim and Parents to leave. If I knew now what I should have known then I whould have been dancing. I do remember thinking "hey I wonder if the ones being asked to leave are infact the lucky ones." turns out I am right.
Well back to what I was saying. I thought I would never see my parents again. Since I have left we all have lived together and talked but though it all my mom says to me "I fell when I see you that you are a visitor." My brother Joe says "you deserted us now you come back and eat our food?" Whatever Joe. He was in Foot ball and needed to consume about 6-7,000 kcal. daily, I was eating his food, "Oh" my God.
I was 13 when they left I was living at the Ranch in Paris L.A. I was seperated from my parents and I missed them. They sent me a couriered letter after they left, stating they were making a change. I was devistated. I thought I would never be able to see them or talk to them again. At the time I was using sensored snail mail to communicate so now I did not know anything about where they were or any thing. They probablly thought they were leaving me behind to serve God. My mom told me yesterday "we thought it was the greatest privilage for you to be able to take care of Sauce and Alaihs kids. Yea, I was taking care of lots of kids by myself 24/7- 365. Would I have rather been studing? Yes absolutly.
Ado was in charge of Child Care. I remember the key note address we got when he moved to our home. He said "I have been in child care 20 years and there is nothing that I have not sceen so nothing you will do could surprise me." I was thinking you have not learned everything you will learn from child care yet, I was appaled because he assumed.
When my family left TF I cried and my hair fell out. Them leaving was like a form of death I thought, and even with them in I still was not in communication with them. I would send a sencored letter every now and then but there was no phone to use no computer at the time to send an E-mail. There were only two computers in the home, for secretary use only and even if I could get on one I didn't know how to use it. My Mom told me once, it just fells when we live with you that you are a visitor. That totally broke my heart. I know how it fells to fell that you do not have parents. Even though I am friends with my parents and they have appologized for rearing me in TF I still fell orphaned. I fell communalized to the enth degree. Everybodys child is nobodys child. I fell for you and remember A life well lived is the best form of revenge. As for me I rest assured that here in Cal. there is this nice little program called. EOPS
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| | | | from Joe H
Thursday, February 03, 2005 - 22:12
(Agree/Disagree?)
Nicely done, Josh.
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