A call to Arms

from Guccigirl - Tuesday, January 25, 2005
accessed 1894 times

I think I speak for many of us after we heard about Ricky (if not please excuse the assumption) The painful memories that we’ve worked so hard on forgetting came flooding back, memories that I had buried deep down inside of me. I started to question my entire childhood “Was I really that bad?” “Did I deserve the things that happened to me?” The answer is simple: NO! None of us deserved the things we had to endure.

As I write this, the words to that stupid song “I don’t have a sad God, I have a happy God” echo through my mind. I remember when I heard that song for the first time thinking, “Are you F-ing kidding me? I’m miserable.” While I was in TF I tried to kill myself twice first with rat poison then I slashed my wrists, my brother tried 3 times by ingesting toxic substances & my cousin also tried a couple of times. We were sent out to preach about a God of love and mercy, but behind closed doors TF failed to practice what they preached, they showed no love and certainly no mercy. I ask myself how many more of our siblings, friends and peers do we have to lose before we take a stand? Every time I hear that one of us has ended their life I consumed with grief.

After the initial shock wore off (Ref: to Ricky) which was promptly followed by grief. I realized that ultimately I wasn’t really that surprised. One of us was bound to snap it really was just a matter of time.

I do not agree with Ricky’s actions, but I don’t judge him either. I know pain, the sense of hopelessness & feelings of despair; I know how the burden can weigh on you so much that it becomes overwhelming. Ricky opened the door for us; he has given us a voice & a chance to be heard. In an ironic twisted sense Ricky did end up leading us “the second generation” (don’t think Mama quite had this in mind though) what are we going to do about it?

The media hype will soon fizzle out; I applaud all those who were willing & did go public. It’s time for us as a group to get proactive! Talking to the media isn’t enough we need to take action. We have the opportunity to take charge & make a difference, maybe even save a fellow peers’ life from death. We can’t sit on the sidelines anymore and let TF get away with it all over again. Crime is still Crime; abuse is still abuse regardless what religion one follows. We were robbed of our childhood & deprived of our basic human rights. Failure to report a crime is a crime! Look at Charles Manson- he didn’t actually kill anyone, but he orchestrated the murders & he is in jail where he belongs. The same applies to TF ultimately they are responsible and it’s about God damn time they are held accountable.

TF can’t push us under the carpet anyone more, their excuses are wearing thin and their lies are increasingly transparent. I ask that we come together once and for all and bring an end to the injustices we were subjected to. When hundreds/thousands of us have the same/similar complaints it stops being “certain disgruntle individuals and becomes a serious issue that needs to be addressed. In the Words of Martin L. King jr. “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter”.
Don’t let Ricky’s death be in vain!