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Getting Out : Leaving
I love you guys | from Joe H - Saturday, April 02, 2005
accessed 2022 times What shall I more say? Attending the memorial made it all the more clear why I shall never go to my high-school reunion. You are my real childhood friends, the ones I've laughed and cried with, the ones who truly understand me. I doubt that that sense of camaraderie can ever be felt by any other group of people. I deeply enjoyed spending time with the people I have often lambasted for their perceived ignorance.
I got back from San Diego last weekend and went over to my parents' house to find my brother's whore ex-wife sitting there. I completely ignored her. I couldn't lower myself to spout out so much as a four-letter word in her direction, much less the cleverly-phrased monologues I occasionally bestow on you all. It was then that I realized something -- I tease you guys because I love you. I see all manner of tortured logic and butchered English on and off line every day, but I only get my knickers in a twist about it when it's coming from you, my brothers and sisters, for whom, deep down, I find an uncharacteristic love and concern. Were it not so, I would treat you with the same disdain and indifference that I give to those I truly despise.
Having said that, I bid you farewell. I hereby abdicate my role as The Pedantic Prick in favor of my budding young understudy, Conan, who is 10 years cooler than I shall ever be.
I have the utmost faith in all of you. You will find your path sooner or later, and all I can do is look on in pride (or, occasionally, deep concern) as you navigate the big, bad world in which we live in.
You so totally rock.
Sincerely,
Joe
PS If you should meet me on the street, please don't ask me "Are you Joe H?". That sentence haunts my nightmares. My name is Joe, just JOE, and I would rather you knew me as such, than as some bored asshole whose diatribes were as cruel as they may have been witty. I love you guys.
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from one who knows
Monday, April 11, 2005 - 21:00
 (Agree/Disagree?)
The man says he's too busy too play human spell check and you all start writing eulogies, poems, and love notes about him?
(reply to this comment)
| from Ode to Joe
Thursday, April 07, 2005 - 14:13
(Agree/Disagree?)
http://www.princeton.edu/~eunjeong/flash/bugsserenade.swf
(reply to this comment)
| from Wolf
Monday, April 04, 2005 - 20:09
(Agree/Disagree?)
I’m still waiting for you to attempt the ass-kicking you promised ... or have you gone too soft to kick ass?
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| from Nancy
Monday, April 04, 2005 - 18:45
(Agree/Disagree?)
What the hell is this?! Oh no. This will not stand. Don't make me come over there. I will.
The beauty of you Joe is that you are unrepentant. You speak you mind with courage and do not regret. You are the model of self-esteem that I worked towards many years of my life. It doesn't really matter what the topic, spelling or the like or the thread count of cotton sheets, there is freedom is speaking your mind and not having to do a take back or apologize to anyone. You answer to yourself. Who you are matters only to you, as that is the only person you have to answer to.
So, there will be no going anywhere. You understand?! Don't make me embarrass you in front of all your friends! ;) Remember I can hang when you make me mad enough. "You won't like me when I'm mad, Mr. McGee." The thought of a world without Joe and I'm turning shades already.
So, no do over or take backs or emotional apologies. You are who you are and that is all that matters. You found the unique ability that usually comes only with age to not feel the need to impress anyone but yourself. You are the antithesis of the cult member and for that I salute you, my friend, (as Don would say). Be well and come back to us.
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| | | | | | | from conan
Monday, April 04, 2005 - 15:15
(Agree/Disagree?)
Fuck, I guess I should get on here more often if I'm going to be singled out like I just was.
Joe, you will be sorely missed (not by me, but others I'm sure will weep at this news) and I'm sure everyone who frequents this site will agree with me in wishing you the best of luck in moving on from MovingOn. That being said, I am not worthy to be your 'replacement' for two very important reasons: I don't care nearly as much as you so clearly did as I feel that ignorance begets ignorance and am more that happy to occasionally allow the blatant disregard of English grammar rules or those of spelling to go ignored by my much more intellectually gifted self and, I am not online nearly as much as I would have to be to be quite as effective as you have been in your long tenure as THE Pedantic Prick. If this site demands the need of a grammar, spelling enforcer, I’m sure that a volunteer can be found among the folds of this loving community at MovingOn.
Thanks for the vote of confidence though. I’ll see you around, man.
(reply to this comment)
| from JohnnieWalker
Monday, April 04, 2005 - 12:04
(Agree/Disagree?)
(Dammit, Jerz, now you've gotten me started.)
Professor of H., I must confess,
I'm hooked on your correctness
The blastings that you've given me,
Are not so hard, in fact their quite cheesy,
I know that I don't have to know all the answers
Anyone, can be a Pedantic Prick,
I don't have to know all the answers,
Just this one requirement,
Run the f***king spelling check
To be like you
Professor of H.
(reply to this comment)
| from Shaka
Monday, April 04, 2005 - 10:43
(Agree/Disagree?)
Oh my God! They killed Joe H! You bastard!
(reply to this comment)
| from Jerseygirl
Monday, April 04, 2005 - 04:45
(Agree/Disagree?)
Give me an article that's been spell checked
And poetry that rhymes and all the rest,
I'll hate it all, without you
Give me people who comment kind and sweet
And days with no stinging words to greet
I'll despise it all, without you
Make Conan the king of this vast domain
With quips and wit to ease the pain
Joe I know it will never be , without you
Time is fleeing, so quickly passing
And I can't surf this website without you
For your pedantry is perfect and everlasting
It isn't worth reading without you
Oh well, I still haven't learned the lesson you gave me about parody. To whom shall we go? You alone have the words of life!
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | |  From neez
Monday, April 11, 2005, 19:28
(Agree/Disagree?)
Crikey what a whopper.. You know I would personally wipe out the entire Australian crocodile population with my bare hands for you Jerseygirl.
Eventually I'd have to face Steve Erwin in a battle to the death for the last few remaining crocs at his wildlife sanctuary. But seeing as his only defence would be poking me with a foot long twig(and maybe his wife screaming obscenities), I should be right :)(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | From neez
Wednesday, April 13, 2005, 00:34
(Agree/Disagree?)
Ah yes.. Steve's secret weapon, the ol' baby shuriken.
Reminds me of "Shogun Assassin", a classic 80's ninja film. Sampled many times by the likes of Wu-tang Clan etc.
Basically Mr. Samurai and his 1yr old son walk the earth dispensing ancient wisdom while chopping off various peoples heads. It includes the worlds deadliest baby-cart(and baby for that matter).
I think maybe Steve had watched it the night before he pulled the baby stunt. Spending too much time in the outback sun with only the local wildlife to talk to can do that to a guy.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from Sir Rantalot
Monday, April 04, 2005 - 03:22
(Agree/Disagree?)
*hugs Joe and leaves a big tear stain on his flowery Hawaiian shirt*
(reply to this comment)
| from katrim4
Sunday, April 03, 2005 - 14:30
(Agree/Disagree?)
Ok, before I get all weepy and teary eyed and start saying I love everybody too, I have to ask, were you drunk when you wrote this or was it the best April Fools day joke I've seen yet?
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | from ameliaus
Sunday, April 03, 2005 - 14:09
(Agree/Disagree?)
this was a jaw dropper...the kind of evolvement you never thought was possible...if we can get Canada to stop killing baby seals, the US to remove the depleted uranium from iraq and have accountable governments, there is hope in the world. I am not even kidding. Thank you for making my day better...Joe.
(reply to this comment)
| from Sonderval
Sunday, April 03, 2005 - 11:14
(Agree/Disagree?)
Heh, firstly, I don't think he actually said he was leaving, he just said he was abdicating his role as the pedantic prick. Secondly, as someone who has decided to stop posting on this site myself I just don't see it happening. ;)
Just wanted to say that I always thought there was a cool guy buried under the occasional bitter jibe, and most (although by no means all) of your barbed comments I have agreed with. Although I’m glad you’ve decided to mellow out a bit I hope you won’t hang up your gloves entirely, some things need to be said and it sometimes takes someone to be a bit of a bastard to say them.
That memorial must have been powerful as hell if it’s brought on such a reform in Joe H, I’m regretting all over again that I missed it :-/. I hope I’ll get a chance to meet you all another time, hopefully under happier circumstances as well, it’s probably the only reason I’d consider going to America.
(reply to this comment)
| from enigma
Sunday, April 03, 2005 - 10:52
(Agree/Disagree?)
Joe, it was nice seeing you at the memorial and I enjoyed talking with you. I agree with you about the connection we all have with each other. At the memorial I can honestly say I had the best time I have had in a long time. I saw people who I had not seen in years but I could still talk with them like they we my best friends. I was even able to connect with people who I had never met before-and i am not the most outgoing person around. Joe, I do hope you will continue your presence on this site as I have enjoyed your contributions.
Josh
(reply to this comment)
| from Regi
Sunday, April 03, 2005 - 09:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
Joe,
It was really nice to meet you. You are a great guy, and not at all what I expected from your “Joe H” persona. Please don’t leave us completely, this site is how we keep in touch with old friends and make new ones.
All the best,
Regina
(reply to this comment)
| From Regi
Sunday, April 03, 2005, 09:48
(Agree/Disagree?)
To all the terrific exers I know and those I met for the first time in San Diego:
I feel the same way Joe does. You guys are my best friends! I have tried so hard to be “normal” and to fit-in in the “real world,” but no matter how many friends I make I can never just be myself with them they way I can when I’m with you. Best of luck with all your dreams and aspirations. Your strength is an inspiration to me.(reply to this comment) |
| | from Lance
Sunday, April 03, 2005 - 04:29
(Agree/Disagree?)
It's quite simple when you think about it. Joe has missed a few cable payments and therefore has to spend a few months of over time working at the drive through window before he can afford to see us all again.
(reply to this comment)
| From Lance
Sunday, April 03, 2005, 04:42
(Agree/Disagree?)
Actually, to tell you the truth: Joe reminds me more of myself then anyone I have met on this web site. Joe and I were JETTs together at the serenity home in houston during the early nineties, and it has been an honor to exchange words with the man; although he can be quite the pedantic prick.
If he does leave this site for awhile I would feel like I have lost a worthy adversary.(reply to this comment) |
| | from neez
Saturday, April 02, 2005 - 23:42
(Agree/Disagree?)
Who's this Joe H guy... never heard of him.
(reply to this comment)
| from sarafina
Saturday, April 02, 2005 - 22:19
(Agree/Disagree?)
Hey! Don’t leave us completely, you’re one of the only one we take criticism form. You have made us better spellers (at least we actually take the time to do spell check now)
Seriously don’t leave. Just be the person you are in person.
You’ re one of the most memorable people I have met. You taught me to love so many things. I’ve counted myself lucky to know you personally and as much as you have pissed me off at times on line I always just consoled myself with “I know the real Joe.” Anyways wtf I feel like I’m writing a eulogy again. So can you please clarify that your only saying good bye the “Pedantic Prick” and not to Joe. Damit. Don’t make me regret inviting you to the memorial.
(reply to this comment)
| from vixen
Saturday, April 02, 2005 - 20:22
(Agree/Disagree?)
All the best, Joe. Take care of yourself.
(reply to this comment)
| from EyesWideShut
Saturday, April 02, 2005 - 20:16
(Agree/Disagree?)
Aw, shit. Now I'm going to have to go and like the guy. I didn't think that would ever be possible, in fact, I completely ignored him at the memorial. At least I know I had now part in contributing to his sudden psychotic break.
Wait, my the first thing I thought when I read this was, "why is Joe saying good bye? Should we be concerned? Is he gonna jump?--Or grow out his facial hair, never change his underwear, and hunt yeti?"
How uncharistic indeed.
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| from ErikMagnusLehnsher
Saturday, April 02, 2005 - 20:00
(Agree/Disagree?)
Jedi Master Qui-Gon: I feel a ripple in the force.
Obiwan Kenobi: I feel it too, master.
Does this mean you will not be posting at all, Joe?
Say it ain't so Joe.
(reply to this comment)
| from roughneck
Saturday, April 02, 2005 - 19:38
(Agree/Disagree?)
Two things: (1)who are you and (2)what have you done with/to JoeH?
You think you've seen it all, and this happens! Upset my whole way of thinking, why don't you?!? :D
(reply to this comment)
| from MariaKL
Saturday, April 02, 2005 - 19:20
(Agree/Disagree?)
why u leaving joe?
(reply to this comment)
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