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Getting Out : Inside Out

Rest in Peace? – Martyrs to Terrorization

from Banshee - Friday, May 21, 2004
accessed 3116 times

Rest in Peace? – Martyrs to Terrorization

Okay, so I read the GN “Choices and Consequences” posted on exfamily.org. Call it morbid fascination, I guess. Usually I’m not the kind of person that will drive five miles an hour to gape at a vehicle accident, but the Family and its course these days is such a spectacular train wreck, that I just can’t help myself.

After I read it, I felt compelled to write this for two reasons.

One is in the hopes that there are still a few souls within TF’s clutches brave enough to peer out beyond their two dimensional world and visit this site, take the red pill, and find reality. For this reason I think it’s good to continue to poke as many holes as we can in whatever dingy they are currently afloat on in the vast ocean of psychotic insanity which is Zerby’s mind.

The second, and much more important reason, is because I feel something should be said for the victims. And yes, I do think they are victims too. It is true that they were both still in the cult, had chosen to stay, and—in Megan’s case—actually chose to join. There are a multitude of reasons why a person, even a nice person, would choose to stay with or join TF, from basic insanity or stupidity to fear or confusion, but I don’t really want to get into all that right now. My point is that they both became unwilling victims of TF’s warped world when the ones who claimed to love them took their death and mental illness and used it for their own sickening manipulative agenda.

Though this might be taken as a complement by her twisted mind, I have to say Zerby has really outdone herself in her attempt to emulate Berg in this latest rambling missive. Its callous mercilessness runs competition with his own inhumane “IRFers Beware.” With the same cruel vein she threatens her followers once again with God’s judgment for straying even in the least from the path she has set for them. Though she has tried many times to frighten and coerce, when Megan died and Joe suffered a mental collapse, she finally held the ultimate terrorization in her hand. Death by God’s hand! Insanity from possessing demons! She finally has her very own “dandy bad examples,” martyrs for her cause. Berg would be proud of his sadistic clone.

The list that Zerby has come up with that are the “sins” for which Megan was put to death and Joe was rendered mindless are frighteningly negligible and minor, even petty. Death penalty for a speeding ticket anyone? Perhaps we should look at what those “sins” are that God can put us to death for. To be on the safe side.

Firstly, Megan’s “sins”. Mmmm…let’s see…actually, it’s pretty unclear what they were. What’s made VERY clear though, is that God did strike her dead for these sins, however unclear they may have been.

“…Obviously, the Lord was not happy with what took place that night…He didn't wink at it and just turn a blind eye. Their blatant disobedience cost them something. It cost Megan her life… If it hadn't been for that disobedience and terrible consequence, Megan could have gone on to do a wonderful work for the Lord.”

So the “sins” are:

“…disobedience and flagrant disregard for the rules that have been established by God…Alcohol abuse…drinking too much…In this case, it was one of the disobediences that contributed to Megan's death…She was flippant about disobeying, she was influenced by others‚ by guys she liked. Her mother said that she got emotionally involved easily and then was easily led astray by the guys she liked.”

Apparently, by these very heinous crimes, “…These young people spit in God's eye through their blatant disregard for the truth. They slapped Him in the face, and I'm sure this wasn't the first time. Through their actions and foolish lack of fear of Him, they in essence dared God to do something…”

Gasp! OMG! You mean--she got emotionally involved easily? How sinful! Oh, those are really horrible, horrible things! It’s so obvious that she deserved to DIE!!!

Seriously, is she fucking kidding? It gives me shutters to think that right this minute there is a group of people sitting around on lumpy couches with glazed eyes, nodding their head in agreement, condemning a girl to death for some vague and disjointed allegations of “sins.”

What I am very curious about is what those zombies are thinking about when they read the following quotes: “…We all know it's against God's laws for Family members to abuse their bodies through overdrinking…Alcohol abuse is a disobedience that takes you outside the boundaries of the Lord's protection.”

Tell me, you portentous little Zerbinites, do you not even think for one second of the absolutely blatant hypocrisy of that sentiment, when Zerby herself stood by for years and watched Berg—a self-confessed alcoholic—drink himself into a stupor night after night? Yet now she can turn around and say that it’s a sin worthy of a divine slaying?

Zerby also wanted to make sure to zero in on the “sins” of the other involved party—Gabe. She says: “…Another sin that contributed to this premature sad death of Megan was a pitiful and deplorable covering up‚ after Megan became unconscious. Gabe didn't seek help right away, and didn't even alert anyone that something was wrong until hours later, even then not confessing what the cause of her unconsciousness was. I suppose he was hoping she would just get better and no one would even know what had happened or that they had been disobedient."

"It's also possible that Gabe was too loaded himself to have his senses about him. That's no excuse; the Lord and I still hold him accountable. 33. Because Gabe was afraid of the consequences, or thought everything would be fine, he didn't speak up about what had happened to Megan until much, much later, after the damage had already been done. And even now, it's hard to know if the whole truth has come out. Even after she was admitted to the hospital, Gabe didn't come out with what had happened until he was literally threatened by a doctor that she would call the authorities if Gabe wouldn't be honest and tell them what had happened, so that they could attempt to save Megan's life. What a terrible testimony and sad representation of the Family!"

It was interesting to me that she never considered the fact that Gabe obviously had had so much fear pumped into him since the time he was 6 months old—and old enough in TF to be spanked—that he was much more terrified of what TF might do to him than of Megan’s well-being. While personally I do think that it was terribly cowardly of him, I’m not so sure I would “hold him accountable”, as she so freely does. But you should take heart, Zerby. Obviously your fear tactics work! Kudos!

Because it wasn’t bad enough for Zerby to malign and vilify and criminalize this girl in death, to add insult to injury, she wanted to add on some precious thoughts from the sweet, loving Jesus they follow. Notice the sarcastic tone.

“Jesus” said: “Megan…lay at death's door for so long so that you might have time to think, time to meditate, time to reflect‚ in the hope that your lives will never be the same. …Her passing could have been swift and painless, but not nearly as powerful a testimony, as sobering a warning.”

Oh, so you’re saying that he COULD have made it swift and painless, but how much better to scare the shit out of your followers by making it slow and painful, and then blaming it on them! How loving!

If this is their “God of Mercy”, pleeeeease send me to the Devil! Even Hitler had a tougher criterion for who he put to death. At least for him it was nationality, not personality.

So those were the strike-you-dead penalty sins. Now we will take a look at the make-you-insane penalty sins.

“Joe…had a history of ongoing sins and problems, especially along the lines of pride‚ covering up‚ being influenced by an unfruitful relationship, being a hearer of the Word rather than a doer, etc .”

Yeah, okay…that’s real clear.

“There were other factors involved too, such as a lack of shepherding of the problems he and his girlfriend were having‚ of his spiritual pride and self-righteousness; insufficient shepherding during his first mental breakdown; an inferiority complex and need to impress, discontentment with the way the Lord made him; covering up and deceptiveness to excuse his girlfriend and her antics [the letter explained that her ‘antics’ were not living the law of love, and trying to make Joe jealous], a weakness in the area of lust and perverted sex, manifested in engaging in sexual practices that are forbidden in the Charter (anal sex and sadomasochism), to name some of the main factors.”

How sinful. How wicked.

So, because of this, Zerby claims, “…he suffered a complete mental collapse…he was obviously being influenced by many dark spirits that would bother him and speak through him…he could have been protected had he not strayed so far and so long from the Lord. His own rebellion and ongoing disregard for the truth caused the Lord's force field of protection around him to collapse, and then he was open to the attacks of the evil spirits.”

Oooo, those evil spirits!

“…it's scary to think that someone could lose their mind out of the blue, or be subjected to an attack of the Enemy of that magnitude with no warning…. When you hear of someone, like Joe, who temporarily lost his mind…It won't [happen to you] if you've been faithful with your spiritual life--keeping your protection against the Enemy's attacks strong through humility, obedience, and faithfulness in [the] Word.”

Cult intimidation and terrorization: A+!

And to make her humiliation complete, Zerby got dear old daddy to back up her diagnosis of his son:

(Joe’s Dad:) “Clinically his condition is diagnosed as "manic depression." They say this mental sickness is hereditary, and incidentally one of my older sisters who isn't in the Family also suffered from it. What Joe experienced after he "cracked" and lost control is known as an "episode." Anyway, I don't know how much we [should] get into the clinical side of these kinds of things, as we know that it was a definite spiritual attack. I do believe that everything in the GN explaining the avenues through which the Enemy got in was totally right on. A verse I got about Joe's episode, when he was not in control and the evil spirits were allowed to come and go, was: "He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down‚ and without walls" (Pro.25:28).

No, let’s not get into the clinical diagnosis. It’s so much better to just claim your son is demonically oppressed. Awww, how precious. With family like this, who needs terrorists? And yet they list one of his problems as an inferiority complex. Yeah, about that…I think I know who GAVE IT TO HIM!

It’s so hard for me to imagine how a parent could allow this crap to be published about their own flesh and blood. How can this be healing for them?

How could this be healing for Joe? How can they think Joe will find peace and mental health with this shit to now have to recover from too? What’s sad is that now he might never be mentally stable enough to get his ass out of there, and away from the truly insane.

Joe, I hope one day you will be able to realize that you and any supposed sins they concoct for you are not to blame for a hereditary mental disease.

And why couldn’t they just let poor Megan rest in peace? The group that claimed to have loved and cared for Megan is now standing around casting stones—how Christ-like of them—and slinging mud on her grave, with Zerby heading up the assault. God forbid that anyone should have to suffer the fate of only being remembered as the person God smote dead, their obituary a list of supposed sins, and their gravestone a podium from which a deranged and twisted mind can call people to follow her every edict.

Through this I have learned that, as bad as it was growing up in TF, obviously it is as equally horrible to die in it. Or go crazy in it.

Reader's comments on this article

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from analysis of variance
Friday, February 11, 2005 - 13:01

(Agree/Disagree?)

I also was disgusted at how Zerby found a way to make someone's tragic death and another person's mental illness "profitable" for her purposes. Once again, that Family bugaboo: "See what happens when you are not totally obedient (to me)? You die or go insane!"

Rick had his mother pegged completely right: Karen Zerby sees other human beings as a commodity to be used for her purposes. Like Berg, she views her own needs & desires as one and the same with divine purpose. Made in her own likeness and image, Zerby's god is a master commodities broker. If the individual isn't "yielded" to God's purposes, then they are the commodity of trade for "the enemy". It never crosses her mind that people are capable of thinking, feeling and acting out of a sense of self that has nothing to do with her, her god, or "the enemy," which is essentially everyone and everything that is not under her control.
(reply to this comment)

From
Friday, February 11, 2005, 13:08

(
Agree/Disagree?)

And this is not the first time Zerby has displayed that unfeelingess in exploiting a tragedy for all to see and for her followers to emulate.

When teenager Ben committed suicide, her comments included “…even in his death, Ben is going to have a very good effect on the Family. I think it's going to have wonderful repercussions with our Teens being very greatly strengthened by this.”

http://www.movingon.org/article.asp?sID=1&Cat=9&ID=2446(reply to this comment

from
Wednesday, February 09, 2005 - 10:49

(Agree/Disagree?)
Then by all means, show us your... uh, brilliance?
(reply to this comment)
from
Wednesday, February 09, 2005 - 09:54

(Agree/Disagree?)

There's a cronie of Zerby his name is Juan, he's been mentioned in a lot of mailings and was Peter Amsterdams main rival for Zerby's affection. Maybe somebody knows his real name?

I know a person who has deep connections in the Peruvian government, she once mentioned in passing that Juan owned considerable tracts of land there, and that the indigenous population living on his land were growing Cannabis and possibly Coco plants as well, and that he knew about it and tolerated it as it was a source of income for him.

I'm not sure how reliable the source is, but her family is one of the richest in Peru, and she herself has never had a shortage of cash. (An anomaly in The Family)

Obviously this should be treated as a rumor until it can be proven.


(reply to this comment)

from seeking but finding not
Wednesday, February 09, 2005 - 01:39

(Agree/Disagree?)
where exactly did you find this GN ? I've searched www.exfamily.org but haven't found anything with that name. Is it part of another GN? I would be grateful if you could put a direct link, thanks alot
(reply to this comment)
From Banshee
Friday, February 11, 2005, 09:27

(Agree/Disagree?)

Unfortunately, as I mentioned below in answer to someone else's question for these GNs, the person who posted them on exfamily.org chopped it all up in pieces. I will try and link them all here for you, though. It's in the archives now, and it's on the page # 013. If you scroll down, you will come to some postings by "CNN", and they are labelled only as "New GN", with paragraph numbers following. Hope this helps.

Peace

http://www.exfamily.org/chatbbs/genx/archives2/13305.htm

http://www.exfamily.org/chatbbs/genx/archives2/13308.htm

http://www.exfamily.org/chatbbs/genx/archives2/13309.htm

http://www.exfamily.org/chatbbs/genx/archives2/13310.htm

http://www.exfamily.org/chatbbs/genx/archives2/13311.htm

http://www.exfamily.org/chatbbs/genx/archives2/13312.htm

http://www.exfamily.org/chatbbs/genx/archives2/13306.htm

http://www.exfamily.org/chatbbs/genx/archives2/13307.htm

(reply to this comment

from
Tuesday, February 08, 2005 - 21:27

(Agree/Disagree?)
no fucking way dude I'm a typophobe!
(reply to this comment)
from xolox
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 14:35

(Agree/Disagree?)

SAM25, sorry for leading your thread on such a tangent. In no way was I trying to minimize the situation you were trying to bring to light.

I'll try not to "highjack" your threads from now on. ;.)
(reply to this comment)

from xolox
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 14:35

(Agree/Disagree?)

SAM25, sorry for leading your thread on such a tangent. In no way was I trying to minimize the situation you were trying to bring to light.

I'll try not to "highjack" you threads from now on. ;.)
(reply to this comment)

from xolox
Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 19:28

(Agree/Disagree?)

Shows you don't know a damn thing about art in general. To call Raphael a craftsman is not incorrect, he was the best craftsman of his day, but to disparrage him as an artist just makes you an ignorant asshole. Besides, we're talking about poetry here, not painting. Are you so completely ignorant of world class poets that you must make your analogies in an art form that is not even parallel? I don't know what oils and words have in common, but I'm sure you'll respond with some witless enlightenment?

A child playing... Is that what you call cubist expressionism?
(reply to this comment)

From xolox
Wednesday, February 02, 2005, 19:31

(Agree/Disagree?)

This was meant to be a response to Cultinvators criticism of Raphael, and his self agrandizing comparison with Picasso.

Unfortunately, the comment wandered off thread.(reply to this comment

from cocomojo
Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 16:48

(Agree/Disagree?)

I see leocon is surfing, and oops! Still posting.

I thought we said sayonara to your tailfeathers a while ago!

Don't let the door hit you on your way back out!
(reply to this comment)

from xolox
Monday, January 31, 2005 - 14:23

(Agree/Disagree?)
This whole situation reminds me of that story we were told as kids, the one about the good and bad shepherds. The good shepherd is at the front of the battle defending the sheep, (aren't they all such fucking sheep.) and the evil shepherds pick up their skirts then run and hide. Guess which one Zerby and her cronies are doing.
(reply to this comment)
from xolox
Monday, January 31, 2005 - 12:04

(Agree/Disagree?)

"I'm not going to get into all the accusations of our detractors and apostates in detail, because they're ridiculous." "The Family is not to blame in this situation" "I'm not going to get into all the accusations of our detractors and apostates in detail" "Peter and I, and of course Dad as well, have said many times before that we are not perfect." "The apostates are blaming the Family and me for what Ricky did" "I'm not letting their accusations affect me personally" "Our antagonistic apostates and detractors are not going to believe what I share with you in this GN"

You sound just like Zerby. You know that bag of water inside your skull? It's called a brain. Found it? Good now use it.
(reply to this comment)

from xolox
Monday, January 31, 2005 - 10:04

(Agree/Disagree?)
My god, these people are so long winded! They can never just come out and say something in two or three sentences. It's like they have to spin their little hypnosis coil before they utter anything of significance. It's so fucking tiresome.
(reply to this comment)
From xolox
Monday, January 31, 2005, 10:10

(Agree/Disagree?)
uh jules, this keeps happening. I try to post somewhere else and the remark somehow winds up here.(reply to this comment
from xolox
Saturday, January 29, 2005 - 15:05

(Agree/Disagree?)
I just want to thank you for your great insight into the Vandari situatuion. I'm with you all the way, and my Pokemon are marshalling at this very minute. We're ready to fly to the rescue! By the way, are the key thingys at all like my Pokeballs?
(reply to this comment)
From xolox
Saturday, January 29, 2005, 15:08

(Agree/Disagree?)

Oops, this post wandered off course. This is a response to leocon's tirade.(reply to this comment

from Christy
Sunday, May 30, 2004 - 17:42

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

One of the many things TF has never been good at is accomodating people with mental illnesses. They've always treated it as an attack of the devil or as a result of one yielding to the dark side. It would be interesting to see how many undiagnosed and untreated people with mental illnesses there are in the group.When I was learning about various mental diseases in my psych classes, I was often reminded of Family members that displayed the symptoms of the illnesses that I was learning about. It was the same with behavioral problems in children. Children who needed special ed. or treatment for hyper-activity were just spanked harder and more often.

How very typical of TF. Still using fear and intimidation to keep their followers in check. Yes, it is serious and awful that this woman died of alcohol poisoning. This is a problem on college campuses all over the states. My sister's best friend from high school passed away from an alcohol overdose. And yes, it's horrible that the guy Megan was with didn't know how to effectively respond to the situation. In life there are consequences for our choices and behavior. However, to claim that God was striking this woman dead because of her choices is such a typical response from TF. They're trying to get as much mileage from this as possible, in order to obtain tighter control of their young people. They did the same thing to our generation with the Traumatic Testimonies.


(reply to this comment)

From Wolf
Sunday, May 30, 2004, 23:44

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Berg was never interested in accommodating the mentally ill, or anybody else with physical problems. He also made people feel like shit if they happened to have handicapped kids. After studying Hitler’s philosophies recently I think I’m starting to figure out where Berg got his ideas from.(reply to this comment
From Banshee
Sunday, May 30, 2004, 18:34

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
It's so true that, as you said, "One of the many things TF has never been good at is accomodating people with mental illnesses." I remember a letter that Berg wrote at one time where he talked about people with mental illnesses, and how he agreed with King David of the Bible, how they should all just be killed off, and how he could never stand to be around them and look at them. Examples such as these which show just how much "love" and tolerance and sympathy he had abound. When you really go through his letters with an open mind you see just how cruel and intolerant he really was of just about anything. And practically every Family member has followed right along in his footsteps. Sometimes I think that Zerby is even more sadistic than he ever was, but it's a toss up. One thing for sure, the apple sure didn't fall far from the tree.(reply to this comment
From hmm...
Friday, February 11, 2005, 10:46

(
Agree/Disagree?)
I guess Berg wanted to be the King of all things. It'd be a threat to the throne to have more folks around him with mental illness.(reply to this comment
from Jedran
Friday, May 28, 2004 - 01:40

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
The Family has some of the most stressed out and depressed people I've ever met. It's no wonder that some are starting to crack.

Perhaps the evil spirits are hereditary so it's really the spirits causing it not genes.

My favourite line is when Zerby says that even though she hadn't heard all the facts from the people involved she doesn't need to because Jesus reveals everything to her directly.

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from cheeks
Thursday, May 27, 2004 - 10:57

(Agree/Disagree?)

I say let Zerby keep them comming. It is gn's like this that will make young people think. You know it is because we thought, and we had been there for years, she will eventually wipe the Family out with her doctrine of hatred.


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from Shaka
Thursday, May 27, 2004 - 09:51

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Goddamn it! That does it. I'm gonna put something in my will so whoever recieves a "message from beyond" either from me or about me should I have an untimley death will get their asses sued. I would be rolling in my grave if I knew that "I" was still talking to people and telling them how wrong I was and how I can now see the "bigger picture". Fucking assholes. They have no respect for the dead.
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from Nick
Thursday, May 27, 2004 - 06:55

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I just realized what and who you all were talking about here and I have to say that I am appalled and very angry at the way that Zerb is trying to capitalize on the death of this young girl!

It is disgusting that they are not able to let this woman RIP and let the family greave in their time of morning. Instead they are using what was a tragedy caused by normal youthful indiscretion into a soap box for her to spout her lies and fear into the pliable minds of the young kids still in.

Not only was this disrespectful to the memory dead but this is disrespectful to her family and if I were them I would sue Zerb for defamation of character.

Then there is poor Gabe. This lad seem to suffer from a form of depression that is extremely prevalent among young people today and can very easily be treated. Instead they are dragging him through the mud and turning what could be a mild treatable form of depression into something that can be a lot lot worse. Even turning his own father against him when this would be a time he needs his family support the most.

His father admits that this depression is hereditary hence accepting that this is clinical. Then in the very same breath states “as we know that it was a definite spiritual attack” suggesting that this is spiritual. How dare he! How dare he try to treat something that is so curable with a little counseling and drugs by using the same techniques they tried to use on Mine. I am surprised that they have not wrapped him in a fucking blanket all sat on him trying to make him relive his birth like that psycho church did in that dumb ass exorcism. That GN is wrong on soooo many levels and Zerb is hurting a lot more people than should be hurt with her blasphemous teachings. What more can I say…
(reply to this comment)

From lacy
Thursday, May 27, 2004, 08:43

(Agree/Disagree?)

Just a little clarification, Nick.--Gabe is the one who was with Megan when she passed out, he was the one who was drinking and getting high with her. He got a little sick and then recovered right away.

Joe is the one who lost his mind.

I just read a bit more of the GN about megan and what amazes me the most is that Zerby is saying that God was giving Megan a choice to live or die while she was in the coma!!! That He was asking her if she wanted to be an example of what happens to God's children when they disobey so that everyone can see. And according to them she chose to die!- So that God and TF could use her mistakes to place fear in the hearts of her fellow "brothers and sisters", that He isn't going to wink at their disobedience anymore. Her family is just gonna sit there and let this poor girl's name go down as some sort of criminal!! She did no more wrong then any of us or our parents, for that matter, who dabbled in all sorts of drugs. Her body just happened to not able to take what she was putting in it. Yes, it was a mistake but who is standing up for her, who is defending her? No one. Her own family is just as bad as Family leadership if they are going to let Zerby say these things about their beautiful but forever gone daughter.(reply to this comment

From itsxena2u
Thursday, May 27, 2004, 18:58

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Let's just assume for one minute that everything Zerby is saying is true. If it is, then how come God didn't strike dead all those sick perverted adults that abused us for so many years? Oh right! Sexually abusing someone is not a deathly sin, but disobeying is. Beating a child senseless is not a sin punishable by death, but drinking is! Locking someone up in a room for days and not feeding them isn't deserving of a death penalty, but having consetual "perverted" sex with your partner (and its not hurting anyone and is definitely no one's business) is. There are a lot of people I would like to see God kill right now and Megan wasn't one of them!

I met Megan a few months back when my boyfriend and I were invited to a little fellowship in one of their "Kings" homes who just happened to live in our neighborhood. I figured I'd go just to see if I'd run into some old friends. She was a very beautiful young girl. She seemed very sweet spirited. Definitely someone with personality. Not like the rest of those brainwashed, zombie idiots chanting away after every song.

TF will never take the blame or the responsability for anything! They will always put the blame on some helpless member. Such hypocrisy is beyond words. I just can't do the subject justice!

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From Nick
Friday, May 28, 2004, 07:47

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Funny how when anyone else gets hurt it's the lord punishing them for their evil ways but when she goes blind it's the devil fighting her.

I remember when I was about 17 I went of this ramp on a BMX and knocked myself unconscious. I came to a few min later and I remember the 1st feeling I had was terror. I Just knew that the min I got home I was going to have to spend hrs in prayer asking the lord why this happened. Sure enough the next day there was a letter from the VS saying it happened because of my wordiness. No one cared that I had not had a cat scan or been taken for a checkup after being knocked out.

They claim to be such good parents and care so much however most of what they do is terror for such a young kid. I mean 1/2 these poor kids think they are going to be dead or tortured by the AC by the time they reach their mid 20's.

I thank god that my son never has to live that life, but also feel sorrow that my young sisters that are about my sons age still spend their childhood as slave labor selling CD’s instead of having a joy filled and happy childhood of carefree fun. (No, a once a week movie selected from a list with home made cocoa is NOT considered a balanced fun filled childhood.)(reply to this comment

From moon beam
Friday, May 28, 2004, 08:20

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Where's the Ice so my blood doesnt boil!!! Pervy can certainly teach the AC a thing or two. (reply to this comment
From Nick
Friday, May 28, 2004, 08:59

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Maybe she can play heavens girl whore with them and fuck 12 solders on a slab of stone right before being thrown to the lions.

Gezuz, can you believe that crap was read to us when we were just kids?!?!(reply to this comment

From
Thursday, May 27, 2004, 08:58

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(
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I agree, lacy. I was thinking about Meghan, wondering what brought her to join something that we all struggled to leave, often after years of wishing we were on the outside. I notice that the GN says her father had left TF and her mother had remained and it sounds like she pretty much grew up without her mother. It is very normal for some adoptive children or children otherwise separated from a parent, to long for the parent whose lack they feel.

I would not be surprised in Meghan's tragic foray into the world of TF was really driven by her search for the mother that forsook her to "do the Lord's work."

Now her mother forsook her again, to do Zerby's work of heartlessness.(reply to this comment

From lacy
Thursday, May 27, 2004, 08:43

(Agree/Disagree?)

Just a little clarification, Nick.--Gabe is the one who was with Megan when she passed out, he was the one who was drinking and getting high with her. He got a little sick and then recovered right away.

Joe is the one who lost his mind.

I just read a bit more of the GN about megan and what amazes me the most is that Zerby is saying that God was giving Megan a choice to live or die while she was in the coma!!! That He was asking her if she wanted to be an example of what happens to God's children when they disobey so that everyone can see. And according to them she chose to die!- So that God and TF could use her mistakes to place fear in the hearts of her fellow "brothers and sisters", that He isn't going to wink at their disobedience anymore. Her family is just gonna sit there and let this poor girl's name go down as some sort of criminal!! She did no more wrong then any of us or our parents, for that matter, who dabbled in all sorts of drugs. Her body just happened to not able to take what she was putting in it. Yes, it was a mistake but who is standing up for her, who is defending her? No one. Her own family is just as bad as Family leadership if they are going to let Zerby say these things about their beautiful but forever gone daughter.(reply to this comment

From highonhigh
Thursday, May 27, 2004, 07:27

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I think about the young ones still in TF. I can imagine the manipulation on the minds of the pre teens & teens. There is still so many kids from 12 to 16. I heard that they are having this special meetings with this age group in order to give the "right explanation" & " instill the fear of God in their hearts". Its like, how low can you get in order to keep manipulating people. I don`t understand how can people be so blind. Everything is so wrong with Zerby & all her doings. I am angry as hell.



















(reply to this comment

from Shackled
Wednesday, May 26, 2004 - 19:29

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I'm very pissed at how they take the credit for "Shining examples" but when someone commits a crime that is taught in TF word they're "a weak brother or sister". TF is full of Contradiction. And with the sexual practices we had to witness as children how can they blame him for trying some anal and sadomasochism. I bet Zerby herself had a few goes at it. How c
(reply to this comment)

from Vicky
Wednesday, May 26, 2004 - 12:58

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I asked for someone to post an outline of this GN's content, and now that I have read this I am almost at a loss for words... But not quite!

-- HOW DARE THEY???

Karen Zerby, how dare you spit on the memory of this young woman?

How dare you manipulate this tragic loss of a life for your own purposes?

How dare you claim to represent a God whose Divine Love knows no bounds, then proceed to mete out his 'justice' with such contempt?

Your God is nothing more than the product of your own insanity and the crazed ramblings of a depraved prophet. As you have denegrated the precious memory of a beautiful young girl, you have likewise denigrated the memory of David Berg, whose drunkenness has condemned him by your own words and those of your 'Loving Husband'.

I hereby proclaim my complete and utter loathing of the God whom you purport to serve.
(reply to this comment)

From .....
Friday, May 28, 2004, 11:26

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Agree/Disagree?)

I hate Zerby all the more for her blatant horrid lack of respect for the dead! It's not the first time she's done it. When I was about 15 she published a "traumatic testimony" about the young teen (I think his name was James) who killed himself after leaving the family--totally, villanizing him. It is DISGUSTING!! I hope she rots in hell!(reply to this comment

From Nick
Thursday, May 27, 2004, 07:01

(Agree/Disagree?)

You are sooo right there Vicky. They preach love and compassion but their actions show otherwise.

If for nothing else but this GN alone I would be persuaded to jump on the bandwagon to find and prosecute for what she is doing.

Makes me so fucking angry!(reply to this comment

From Joe H
Friday, May 28, 2004, 15:16

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

"If for nothing else but this GN alone I would be persuaded to jump on the bandwagon" Would this be the same bandwagon that you mocked three months ago as being full of hot air, right after you announced that you routinely allow one of Zerby's top pedophile officers to watch your son?

(Exact quote: "Gezuz[sic], you all have no lives at all do you. I know where she lives and have been to her house a few times in the past. My X [sic] uses them as a baby sitter [sic] for my son. The thing is that even if I did give you all the address, and I wouldn't, you wouldn't do a damn thing about it. Your[sic] all talk and hot air. ")(reply to this comment

from lacy
Wednesday, May 26, 2004 - 11:29

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Very good article, Banshee. I can't imagine how horrible it must be to be the family of these people. To cope with the fact that she is gone forever and then have to endure hearing that God was punishing her for her sins and using her death to instill fear in those who are still alive.

I am also interested in reading the GN, but couldn't find it when I went to the ex-cog site. Could you tell me where it is?
(reply to this comment)

From Banshee
Wednesday, May 26, 2004, 13:13

(Agree/Disagree?)

Yes, whoever posted this GN on the exfamily.org site put it up in pieces, so it's a little hard to find and read. I actually had to paste it all in Word just so that I could read it in paragraph order, as he posted it all jumbled. So unfortunately I can't post it as one link, so I'll just direct you. From their main page, go to the chat boards. The posts are in the "Generation eXers" section, and if you scroll down a ways there's several posts called "New GN" with paragraph numbers after them (1-40, etc.) It's under other posts on the "Amnesty" GNs and the "Renewal" GNs. I can also post the letter in full if others are interested, although I will probably put it under another section, because I submitted this article Friday, and it got put up Wednesday, so I might have better luck in a different section.(reply to this comment

from Haunted
Wednesday, May 26, 2004 - 11:26

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Pleeeeeeease!!!!!

I'm soooo bothered by the fact that they are condemning concentual sexual acts here while stating that somehow they were the reason behind God's "need" to "strike them down", all the while completely ignoring the fact that there have been numerous acts of violent sexual rape/abuse in the cult committed against children that their God somehow just didn't care enough about or notice in order to "strike down" the perverts who did them????

This complete lack of logical thought process makes me want to scream!

I don't know about some marriages, but in mine, my "loving husband" (as Zerby claims her God is) would certainly not kill me for getting wasted a few times, my lack of confidence or my having been in bad relationships in the past - perhaps Zerby should consider a divorce from this abusive individual.
(reply to this comment)

from )
Wednesday, May 26, 2004 - 09:11

(Agree/Disagree?)

Great article. You are right about who likely gave him the inferiority complex. I also think that the line "discontentment with the way the *Lord made him*" means that he wanted to self-improve, who knows, by learning a skill or maybe just working out to look better, but it didn't fit with their program for him and they told him "no." This happened to me in TF, I could not choose the person I wanted to be.

I was also struck by the part about "a weakness in the area of lust and perverted sex, manifested in engaging in sexual practices that are forbidden in the Charter (anal sex and sadomasochism), to name some of the main factors.” " I have heard of an enclave of exers (who incidentally don't hang out here because they don't want to be evil detractors) that swaps partners to engage in such sexual practices. While my aspirations are more along the lines of traditional monogamy and family, I can't help but think that with the oversexualized environment we grew up in as well as the doctrinal trappings that came along with it, it is not surprising that it would take a little something extra to interest some of our former peers.

(reply to this comment)

From Jerseygirl
Wednesday, May 26, 2004, 11:57

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
This could be a good debate topic. I have to wonder though, if the reason people choose a less traditional sex life is a little more than simply due to their past and "needing a little something extra"? It almost seems as though most exers either become ultra conservative in an effort to somehow remove themselves far from their past,or more apt to embrace many different sexual avenues in an attempt to figure out their past and who they are sexually. (reply to this comment
From Shackled
Wednesday, May 26, 2004, 19:56

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Agree/Disagree?)

When I first left I went the conservative way basically because of what I saw in TF. But it's been years now and I'm becoming more comfortable with my sexuality and my tastes. What I like is what I like, not what TF taught or wanted me to like. (reply to this comment

From
Wednesday, May 26, 2004, 14:10

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Yes, I think it could be an interesting discussion. I honestly don’t know if my past affects my sexual choices and preferences today. I think I would be mortified to find out they did. I know that my past, my childhood, and my experiences are all part of who I am today, and I also know that my choices today can change who my past made me. But I guess I always wanted to think my sexual past did not affect my present. I hope this is the truth. I really, really hope that it is possible that we as humans can actually close up parts of our past to the point that it does not taint today.


See, I had a bad sexual past. All of my first sexual experiences were with fucking creepy perverted adults, including my father. I spent 5 years feeling dirty and ashamed and confused and a whole list of other emotions that I don’t know I could ever find adjectives for. That was my introduction to sex, and it was everywhere.


But I’ll never forget my first experience with a boy my age. Granted, we were a little young for a first experience, but that was how it was in the cult. We were in love, and so it was actually a very sweet and gentle and respectful and mutual experience, and totally unlike anything I’d ever known about sex before. It really was like my first time. And I remember feeling like something opened up in me; it was like suddenly there were two different things. I remember the separation of them in my mind, and I thought, “so this is what sex is.” What was interesting is that after this relationship with this boy, I was finally able to fight back whenever any depraved uncles would come lurking. Maybe it was growing older too, but after that, even though many still tried, a few even violently, I always made it out relatively unharmed, at least sexually.


After that, or because of that—I don’t know—I don’t remember having a problem with sex, or enjoying it. With my peers, of course. I think that I still have a fairly healthy sexual life, at least one that I am happy with. I think I’m fairly active for a girl, but I’m not a nympho. I can be the aggressor when I’m in the mood for it, and I’m willing to try new things, even some that might be considered “kinky.” I like playing games, taking a long time, or taking a short time. I’m also confident to say no when I want to, and I don’t feel pressured to do something I don’t want to or am not in the mood for. I’m not into any extreme fetishes—like peeing or dressing as a baby or whatever—but I’m not so prudish that I won’t watch porn or try things out. I am also strictly monogamous, and I love my partner very much. Never did a threesome or anything like that. That’s not to say I wouldn’t. I guess it depends on the situation and if I felt right about it, and right about my partner(s).

So, after all that—am I healthy? Am I normal? Is my sexuality affected by my cultish past? I want to say no, but then, how does one know? What would be the “red flags” that shows I get my sexual preferences from a warped sexual past?


Actually, because I am happy with my sex life and I don’t feel like I have problems with it, I don’t think about it at all, especially not how it would relate to my past. The reason is because I know that my self esteem and confidence and other attitudes in my life ARE very affected by the rapes and incest in my past. It’s a struggle every day to not see myself as damaged, broken, or not whole. It affects the way I interact and react to people, and what I feel I can do in life. It gives me a lot of fear and insecurity. I find it almost impossible to trust. The list goes on. But I think I have separated my sexual life from this, and I look at these experiences in a totally different category. It’s kind of like I feel that the assaults and rapes and trauma were directed at me, at my soul, and not at my sex. Does that make sense? Almost as if it were not sexual in nature, because I felt so much more damaged in my spirit, as if it was my innocence, my trust, my self-awareness, even my hope that was assaulted more than my body. Maybe that’s what it is for me. I really don’t know. (reply to this comment
From Banshee
Wednesday, May 26, 2004, 11:22

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
I think that it is a possibility that the bizarre and over-sexualized environment that we were brought up in could have some influence on our sexual choices today. But at the same time, in society at large there is such a wide range of sexual preferences and practices that in our integration into normal society we also would have a similar range of sexual interests and choices that are influenced simply by our personalities and predilections rather than our upbringing. Swinging, for instance, is no longer considered as such a rare practice anymore, and certainly not a freakish practice.
The thing that is ridiculous about Zerby describing Joe as having a lust for “perverted sex” and engaging in “sadomasochism” is that what TF considers sadomasochism and what the world considers sadomasochism are two very different things. While the simple dictionary definition of sadomasochism is “sexual pleasure obtained both by inflicting pain or receiving pain”, when you describe someone as being a sadomasochist or engaging in sadomasochism, it is generally for some pretty intense shit. Whips, paddles, knives, whatever. Whereas with TF in the Charter even mild bondage is forbidden, or harmless spanking—fairly harmless sexual practices that Mr. Savage would probably consider vanilla. What I think happened is that the guy and his sweetie liked to play with a sash or—gasp!—handcuffs, and when they made him “come clean” about any “sins”, he probably felt guilty, told them about it, and so Zerby went and stuck that “sadomasochism” in there just to make him look worse and her case better. (reply to this comment
From Jerseygirl
Wednesday, May 26, 2004, 11:46

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I'm glad you explained that little part so well Banshee. Sexual preferances is a very complicated topic and intensely personal. I think it's worth noting as well that TF claims to be so averse to these "perversions" and yet most of us were spanked by the same filthy uncles that molested us--don't tell me that that's not a bit sadomasichistic, eh Zerby?

(reply to this comment

From )
Wednesday, May 26, 2004, 15:31

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Agree/Disagree?)
You know, all of the comments above are enlightening to me. There are always so many facets to reality. I guess In envy the nameless person above, because I feel that I was injured in both my soul and my sexuality.(reply to this comment

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